Thank you to those readers who have made it this far. I think some people never made it past the first chapter. Keep reading, I've got a few twists up my sleeve and quite a few chapters yet. I've really enjoyed writing from Jacob's perspective and I hope you're enjoying reading it. Please review after you read, comments make writing easier. Thank you to my beta, Kate Pedroso, I appreciate your hard work.

I woke up then, my body falling to the floor. I sprang to my feet, my sleepy haze not quite clear. I looked at my surroundings. I was back in the living room but the couch was now one big pile of splintered wood with tatters of blue fabric over it. Both ends of the couch had been separated from the whole and the back had huge gashes in it. I must have torn it apart during my dream. The final death blow to it had landed me on the floor. Billy was not going to be pleased. Not only had I torn apart most of my wardrobe and almost ate us out of house and home over the last few months, I was now destroying whatever we had left in the place.

I could hear Billy scrambling in his room, trying to get up. I could only imagine how much I must have scared him with my attack on the couch. I quietly made my way down the hall to his room and gently knocked on the door.

"Dad, its just me." I said softly. "Can I come in?" I didn't really wait for an answer. Instead I opened the door and peered around it. His room was small, just big enough for his full size bed, a dresser, and his wheelchair. It was pretty sparsely decorated with only a few pictures of him and my mother scattered around the room. Billy was sitting up on the side of the bed in his t-shirt and boxers, looking up at me expectantly. Pure relief washed over his face and part of me felt guilty for causing whatever worry he must have felt while I was away. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," he said. "What was that commotion I just heard? I thought there was a war going on out there." He had no idea how close he was, except the war was going on in my head.

"I'm afraid the couch has seen its dying day. I'm really sorry, Dad. I fell asleep out there last night and my dreams…" I trailed off, not wanting to tell him what it was about and hoping he wouldn't ask. Thankfully he didn't.

Billy slowly worked his way to a standing position. I went to go grab his wheelchair for him but he waved me away. He said he was going to shower first and gingerly made his way towards the bathroom, a hand on the wall for support. Our house was pretty small so he didn't have far to travel.

Billy's bedside clock said that it was only a little after seven in the morning. I was extremely tired but I didn't want to go back to sleep. I was still in my boxers from last night but I was at least clean, the ocean waters washing away all the mud and grime from the last few days. I went to my room and grabbed a pair of black sweats that were folded on my bed. Billy must have gone outside and gathered the clothes that I scattered during my escape. Another wave of guilt washed over me.

I knew we were going to have to sit down and talk so I went to the kitchen to start breakfast. My little midnight meal hadn't left a whole lot in refrigerator but I managed to scrounge up eggs, some bacon, and milk as well as a box of just-add-water pancake mix from the cupboard. It would work for now and I could take Billy to the store later. It would give me something to do, to keep me busy for a little while at least. I laid the bacon in the skillet and started cracking the eggs. I scrambled them and then mixed the pancake batter. These tasks were only enough to keep my hands busy and my mind started to wander.

I tried not to think about anything that would make my chest ache again but that was extremely difficult. Everything in my life lately was connected in one way or another to a subject I wanted to avoid. Its not that I didn't like to think about Bella. On the contrary, in the past there were times when I could have thought about her for hours on end. Now she was a question mark in my life. A question that only had one foreseeable answer and it seemed inevitable. My dream pushed its way into my mind and I shook my head, trying to clear it.

I poured out batter on the griddle, started the eggs, and turned the bacon. I opened the window over the kitchen sink and another next to the table. A cool breeze made its way in, the smell a mix of rain and the forest. I took a deep breath and it seemed to relax me. I started dishing out the food, piling more on my plate than Billy's. He wasn't much of a breakfast person and I was hungry. Billy made it to the table just in time. He sniffed the food appreciatively and we both dug in. Not a word was spoken during the meal and after we'd finished we sat there quietly. I knew a talk was coming but I wasn't going to be the one to start it.

"How are you doing, Jake," he asked simply. I needed a second to find the right words so I looked out the window, watching the breeze sway the branches on the tree right outside.

I tried to be as honest as possible. "I don't know." That was the truth. There were so many thoughts and emotions running through my body that I hard a hard time distinguishing them all. "I feel like I'm a mess."

"Well yes, you look like hell," Billy said, trying to make the conversation light. "Ever heard of a comb?" I looked back at him and he was smiling but the smile didn't reach his eyes.

I tried running my fingers through the strands but it was no use, they were tied in knots. I rolled my eyes. "I'll work on that. Thanks."

Now it was Billy's turn to look out the window. "Charlie was here last night."

"I know," I replied. "I got back while he was still here but I didn't exactly feel like getting into a conversation with anyone." I tore my eyes away from Billy and looked at the corkboard that usually kept postcards, candid pictures of family, and other personal papers. Pegged there was a creamy white rectangle of thick paper. Even across the room I could see that it was an RSVP card. I knew exactly what it was for.

I must have been staring because Billy's next words caught my attention. "He is worried about you, you know." Just what I needed, to feel guilty about something else.

"Well, what does he want me to do? Bella has made up her mind." I could feel the anger starting to kindle inside. "I don't like it but I'm trying to respect her wishes by staying away. I don't want to make this any more difficult for anyone than it has to be." I didn't know if that really meant that I wanted to make this easier on Bella or if I was just trying to protect myself. I wasn't completely sure that seeing her again would be a good idea, even though I knew I'd never pass at the chance. I wanted Bella to be happy, I truly did. But the selfish part of me would always admit that I only really wanted to see her happy with ME.

"He wanted to know if we'll be coming to the wedding. I told him that I wasn't sure of that myself." Billy was speaking slowly now, probably so I wouldn't explode. "I'm not sure if going would be prudent considering the treaty but obviously it would be an occasion for truce. He is having a rough time with this."

CHARLIE was having a rough time with this?! If only he knew what kind of life he was giving his daughter away to. I took a deep cleansing breath. "Go, Dad, I know Charlie could use your support. As for me, I don't know if I have the self control for that." Involuntarily my imagination created an image before me. Bella in a beautiful white dress, her dark hair curled softly around her face, her smile and deep chocolate eyes for only one…man. My stomach lurched and it almost brought my breakfast back up.

Billy saw what this was doing to me and tried changing the subject. "While you were away I invited some people over for a barbeque this coming weekend. I figured the start of summer was as good a reason as any. Mostly it was the usual crew but I invited Charlie as well. If you don't want to stick around for it I'll understand." He started to push away from the table but I stopped him.

"I'll get your chair, Dad," I said. I went to his room and was back in a moment. "I'll let you know about this weekend. For now though, why don't we head into town and get some groceries. I didn't leave much in there after I got home." Billy agreed and I went to change clothes. I returned to the front hallway to see Billy in the entrance to the living room.

"What did that couch ever do to you, Jake," he said in amazement. That made me genuinely laugh. "Well, it looks like we'll have to find something else. That can't be fixed." He looked at me and we both broke out into laughter. It felt good, natural. I relaxed a bit as we were leaving. Maybe I'll actually be ok, I thought but it felt forced, as if I was trying to convince myself. I guess I'll just have to take it one step at a time.

A/N: I have more chapters for those who are interested! Please keep reviewing!!