Shikon Cruise

Confidential confessions: Finally Feeling Real

Last time on Shikon Cruise

"Ok so who wants to get dunk?" Asked Kilala

"Shut up!" The crowd yelled.

"Gees, it was only a suggestion." Kilala rolled her eyes as Shippo held her and laughed, they all laughed and headed back in.

Present Time

InuYasha and Kagome were sitting in her room, Kagome had just gotten out of the shower and InuYasha was bandaging some of her wounds. She was sitting on her stomach, and the blanket was over her body.

"Ok if you look at any of my women parts…I'll beat your ass in." Kagome glared.

"I won't! Besides it's not like there's anything to look at…" InuYasha smirked as he could see the steam coming out of Kagome's ears.

"Hey you!" Kagome started, she was about to sit up, the blanket slid down a bit, InuYasha stared as the blanket fell a bit over her breast. Kagome caught on and really got mad.

"What are you?! Miroku?! You pervert! I'm gonna kill you!" Kagome screamed as she went back down in a big flop. InuYasha was still staring in shock.

"What?!" Kagome finally asked, InuYasha flipped her over and held her down as he pulled the blanket a bit down her chest.

"Hey! Rapist!" Kagome started to struggle for all she was worth, but the battle she had before had taken a great amount of strength from her.

InuYasha stopped when Kagome finally looked at what he was staring at, right in between Kagome's chest was a scratch going down, and it was bleeding quite a great amount, InuYasha quickly got a towel, wetted it and wiped the blood away.

"Does it hurt?" InuYasha asked, he was trying to be gentle, Kagome nodded but then whimpered as it stung, InuYasha crawled into the bed and then held Kagome, the blanket was covering her.

"A-are you that badly in pain?" He asked, he buried his head into her hair, her scent surrounded her. The sweet smell of strawberries floated around him as if he were consumed by it.

"…Not really, I mean sure it stings a bit here and there, but nothing to worry about." She was getting kind of nervous, she was naked, in a bed with a guy that was as hot as any flame and the only thing really separating them was the flimsy silk blanket.

"Good, why were you fighting anyways?" InuYasha asked, remembering what Sango had said.

Flash Back

"Hey, Sango! What's with the crowd?" InuYasha asked as he made his way through, Sesshomaru had told Miroku to get him and they had just arrived.

"Kikyo and Kagome…are having a fight." Sango said. Her eyes were still glued to the two girls.

"What?! Why?!" InuYasha yelled.

"For you…now shut up!" Sango demanded.

InuYasha stood there, he then turned to watch the fight himself, Sesshomaru and Miroku joined as well.

End of Flash Back

"Oh you know this and that." Kagome lied, she sunk into the bed some more, InuYasha held her against him, not wanting to let go of her.

"…Oh." InuYasha whispered 'If she's not ready to tell me herself then I won't push.'

"So, what is everyone else doing?" Kagome changed the subject, InuYasha shrugged.

"Probably something really stupid." InuYasha said.

Back with the group

"Jug, Jug, Jug!" A group of guys and girls yelled, they were surrounding a girl and a guy, who were chugging down some margaritas. They had all decided to actually get drunk, much with Kilala's persuasion, The girls team was winning with a totally of 2, while the guys had 4.

The game was to pin a girl and a guy against each other in a drinking contest, whoever passed out first lost, only two girls had passed out, while the guys had 4. Next were Sango and Miroku.

"Ready pervert?" Sango challenged, Miroku smirked.

"Of course, milady." He smiled.

"Shut the sweet talk, it ain't gonna help you!" Sango said as someone passed her a beer. Miroku was handed a beer as well. They had their hands on their heads and put their lips to a straw coming out of the top of their drinks.

"Ready? Go!" Some one yelled.

In the back Kilala laughed manically, she rubbed her hands together and laughed evilly once more.

"Perfect! I knew I could get the whole ship drunk! They shall bow down to me!!!" She said in an evil voice, Shippo came up and hugged her from behind.

"Hey you wanna get another drink?" He asked as if everything was fine, Kilala shrugged.

"Sure."

InuYasha and Kagome

"So you need anything else?" InuYasha asked.

Kagome shook her head no, she then lay on her stomach and looked at the small window, the sky was bright and there wasn't cloud in sight. InuYasha walked over to her and hugged her.

"Are you sure you're doing ok?" InuYasha asked, Kagome shrugged.

"What if Kikyo hates me now?" Kagome asked.

"Well I know for a fact she doesn't like me anymore." InuYasha shrugged it off.

"Why?" Kagome asked, InuYasha sat up a bit and began the story.

Flash back

Just before InuYasha helped Kagome into her room, Kikyo had stopped him

"InuYasha…" She said in a strong voice, He came over to Kikyo and she smiled at him

"I think we should break up, and I'm sure you know why." Kikyo said as she walked away losing herself in the crowd, He stood their stunned, not knowing what to do.

End of Flash Back

"She just said that?" Kagome asked in shock.

"Yup…it was kind of odd, but I could feel it coming." InuYasha said.

"I see…Well I'm gonna rest up a bit." Kagome said.

"Should I go then?" InuYasha asked.

"If you want." Kagome said as she rolled painfully onto her side, InuYasha was just about to leave, he opened the door and was about to walk out when he heard footsteps, he quickly ducked into Kagome's washroom, he had thought it was a teacher, he wasn't supposed to be in Kagome's room at least not alone.

InuYasha held his breathe as the door opened….he looked to see it was Kikyo, he was about to say Hi when she sat down by Kagome's bed.

She looked just as bad as Kagome, if not worse; she had limped in through the door.

There was a bit of silence until.

"Hey there Kikyo." Kagome said.

"Oh…so you knew I was here?" Kikyo asked.

"Yup." Kagome answered absently.

"So…are you ok?" Kikyo asked.

"I've been better." Kagome shrugged.

Another pause of painful Silence went by.

"So…was there a reason that you came by?" Kagome asked. Kikyo looked at her back with sad eyes.

"Not really…I guess I should go then…" Kikyo stood up from her seat and was about to go, but Kagome's hand grabbed hers and said, while her back was still facing Kikyo.

"No…stay, I want to talk to you." Kagome said.

InuYasha watched as Kikyo took her seat again, he debated on weather he should get out and say 'Hey sorry for hiding in your washroom and all but I guess I should go' or just staying in the closet, in the end his decision was to stay and shut his mouth.

"So….what did you wanna talk about?" Kikyo asked Kagome repeated what Kikyo had said while they were dangling on the side of the boat.

Flash Back

"Why won't you fight?!" Kikyo yelled

Kagome stared at her and then shrugged.

"Because I don't want to hurt my friend."

"You're so stupid!" Kikyo cursed "This isn't about me! This is about if your worthy of InuYasha! I don't care how hurt I am, but I wanna know that you're good enough!" Kikyo shouted, the waves were crashing wildly beneath them.

"W-What?" Kagome stuttered.

"I-I…I always felt inferior to you…and when you took InuYasha's heart I realized…You really are better then me, your perfect, but I wasn't gonna give up this time Kagome, I want to make sure your worthy of him!" Kikyo cried, Kagome stared at her, astonished.

End of Flash Back

"You said…that I was perfect…that I made you feel …inferior…" Kagome started, she had gotten up, but her back was still to Kikyo, she was leaning on her right arm.

"I wasn't thinking when I said that-" Kikyo was cut off.

"Kikyo…you wouldn't say that unless you meant it…So I'm gonna tell you what I went through to claim, this so called 'perfect' title." Kagome started, her voice was shaking a bit.

"Kagome…" Kikyo said in a distant voice.

"I was never what I am today…I used to be so different, I didn't believe in hope, or faith…not after my father died. I spent most of my nights figuring ways…to…to…kill myself." Kagome's body shook with an old and terrible memory.

Kikyo gasped, she never knew Kagome was ever that depressed.

"I was hospitalized a few times…I was also in therapy for a bit after…I tried to kill myself 3 times, once I tried to drown myself, the second I tried to hang myself, the third I tired to cut my wrists deeply…" Kagome's voice shook more and more with each word that passed her lips.

"I wanted to die…but I was too scared! I couldn't even kill myself right! I was too pathetic to do anything! I wanted to DIE but my Will over came me! I am so USELESS!" Kagome cried, she had turned to face Kikyo, her eyes held fear, sadness and regret. She felt that she was useless….

"You said I make you feel inferior! Because I am 'PERFECT' but do you know how much I wanted to be like you?! I'm not perfect…I'm me…nothing more and nothing less, I hated you! I hated that you thought I was perfect! Because I knew it was all a lie, who I was…I'm nothing!" Kagome screamed. Her face was covered with her salty tears, her voice hoarse from yelling so much, she fell into a lump on the bed.

"I wanted so much to finally be perfect…so that my dad would have something to be proud of…But I'm still nothing…no matter how hard I tried, it was all just a fake…I learned to act perfect but I never learned what it truly meant…"

Kagome's sobs rang through her body like ripples on water; she cried for every time someone praised her on being perfect and how much she truly hated what she was, she cried for every smile she had smiled, because they were all fake.

Silence hit them like a ton of bricks, the only disturbance was Kagome's cries, Kikyo sat in shock, InuYasha's breathe was caught in his throat, and he didn't know what to say or how to react.

"Kagome…I don't think your fake…I think your finally human, you always seemed like an angel, someone better then us, someone who we couldn't touch, even if we wanted to see if you were truly real…" Kikyo took a breath, Kagome's sobs got louder when she heard Kikyo tell her she was perfect.

"But…I realize now…that put to much pressure on you…but I'm glad…glad that I know that your finally feeling things you want to…finally being….human…" Kikyo said in a soft voice, Kagome looked up, her eyes were swollen and red, but through that she smiled.

"See, your smile is real, your laughter is real, nothing about you is fake and it never will be, I still think your perfect, even if you don't…" Kikyo said as she hugged Kagome, Kagome smiled back and hugged her for all she was worth. She finally realized she was human and nothing fake….

They sat that way for a bit, Kikyo then got up.

"I have to go, I'm sorry, I hope you feel better, I got to go get some more bandages." Kikyo smirked, Kagome smiled back and watched as Kikyo left, she then flopped back down on her bed, and then said in a clear voice.

"InuYasha…you can come out now." Kagome said with a smirk, InuYasha gulped and walked out.

"Hehehe….hey." He said in a nervous voice.

"So…how long did you know I was here?" InuYasha asked, Kagome shrugged.

"You know when Kikyo came in here?" She asked, InuYasha nodded.

"Yeah." He said.

"Around that time." Kagome smiled, He smiled and sat down beside her.

"I never knew how hard it was being you." InuYasha sighed.

"Well I'm all better now, I feel so much better, I feel like I'm finally human, finally real..." Kagome said as she rested her head on his shoulder, InuYasha smiled and wrapped an arm around her as they continued talking.

Back with the group

Everyone was passed out, lying all over the place, drinks were spread out everywhere, only two people were still actually awake.

"I think the guys won." Miroku said, he had drank 10 beer bottles and still he was up, Sango passed out at around 9, Miroku was about to yell yes when….

"I don't think so Miro, I drank 13 beers, and I'm still standing, the girls win." Kilala said with a wink, she was standing perfectly still. Miroku cursed as he went to his room to sulk some more, Kilala then smiled…as she fell to the ground totally knocked out.

Miroku walked back and smiled.

"I knew I won, well better not let her know that, I have a feeling she'll hunt me down in my sleep." Miroku smiled as he went back to his room.

A/N: Lol nice? I put that whole emotional/depressed thing in because I wanted Kagome to seem more human, she was too perfect, but now we know just how hard it is to play that charade. Anyways R&R if you want to! Peace out

"See you next time on Shikon Cruise"

Vixen