So things are slowing down again as things...well, slowly come to a closure. Hope you enjoy anyway. Please, oh please review!

Oh and I know I never specified it..(sorry my bad :P) but Sasuke, Sakura and Naruto have all basically just turned 16.

Chapter Seventeen: Whatever Will Be

"Everything I am, and everything in me...wants to be the one you wanted me to be."

Seven days. That was it. One week. And he could go home. And start training.

Everything was coming together...but yet, it felt like it was all falling apart.

Last night had ended horribly. Kalei wouldn't even look at Sasuke. After he had caught up with her and Naruto...he had just left. She clearly didn't want anything to do with him, so he had gone home, and tried to catch up on sleep. But that was pointless.

He awoke this morning in a horrible mood, only managing to get about 3 hours of sleep. And to top things off...it was gray and gloomy out again. The only good thing was...there was no rain.

"Sasuke."

He looked up from the table and seen Sakura standing in front of him. He was at a small shop, drinking tea...trying to calm his ever frazzled nerves. Seeing Sakura wasn't exactly on his top priorities list. Especially since he hadn't even seen her since that night.

"Hn."

Wow, thanks to his amazingly terrible mood...in one little sound...he managed to sound like a complete jerk. Total asshole. His attitude just flew off in vibes.

A small frown crossed Sakura's face and she walked up to him.

"You look a little upset, bad night?"

You don't know the half of it.

"No sleep." He mumbled, looking away.

It wasn't that he was purposely trying to upset her...he just wasn't sure how he was feeling...and seeing her now would only mess up his judgment more.

She nodded slowly and scanned the area. Slowly, she rested her gaze on him. "Sasuke...about the other night..."

Oh great. The kiss. He really didn't want to talk about this.

"Forget it." He said quickly, looking back at her. She looked a little offended and bit her lip.

"I can't forget it. How can you even tell me to do something like that?" Ouch...was he pushing her buttons.

His face twisted into a glare. "Simple. Forget it- because I already have.'

Sakura's eyes narrowed. She couldn't forget the fact that they had kissed. Or that she had seen him practically crying. Wow...he had some nerve.

"You haven't forgotten it. That's why you're so defensive to talk about it." She hissed, angering him even more.

"Sakura...drop it."

She shook her head viciously. "No...Sasuke I-"

"Shut up." He groaned, running a hand through his hair.

She slammed her fist on the table. Luckily, his table was an outdoor one...and not many people were around. "Why are you being like this?" She demanded furiously, glaring at him.

He met her glare with one of his own. "It shouldn't have happened. You told me you wouldn't hold it against me."

"I just wanted to talk about it. I've been thinking about it a lot..."

"And so have I...thats why we need to forget that it happened."

There he was again...trying to erase anything good that was being put right in front of him. All for revenge. It was so pointless. He was ruining his life.

"I can't forget." She said quietly, hostility still present in her voice.

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Well I can...so just pretend like you've forgotten and leave me alone." He snarled, upsetting Sakura to no end.

She hated when he was like this. He was such a bastard sometimes.

She exhaled a deep breath and looked away. "Well...I just wanted you to know that I was happy. And thank you for taking me to my house that night."

Happy? He was anything but happy. Damn! This was all wrong!

He nodded hesitantly and took a sip of his tea. "You fell asleep. I wasn't going to leave you there." He said coldly, looking away.

Sakura looked back at him and raised her eyebrows. "Because that's something the old Sasuke would have done."

He swallowed hard and looked back at her, a deathly look written all over his face. She was obviously trying to trap him in a corner here. And knowing him...in the state he was in...would say something stupid to make it so much worse.

"Really." He asked...more just like a statement.

She nodded. "Yes, really. But the new you...actually cares."

His eye brows raised. "Oh, do I?" He asked, his attitude creeping into his voice. Whatever...if she wanted to play games...he'd play. What's wrong with some entertainment?

A small smile crept onto her lips. "Why else would you kiss me?"

I don't know, I was fucking stupid. He clenched his jaw. He was stupid. He was getting himself twisted up in her. It would only make it that much harder to leave when the time came. And it would come. No doubt about it.

"Spur of the moment." He countered.

She shook her head softly, the smile still on her face. "You lie."

"Yes, normally I do. But about this, I'm not." He said rudely, taking another drink of his tea.

Sakura shrugged. "Whatever. I'll remember that. If you should ever want me one day, I won't come running back. Is that what you want?"

No. Stupid question, Sakura. He was trying hard to ignore what she was saying and just do whatever possible to get her to drop the subject...but it was proving to be impossible.

He narrowed his eyes. "What I want...is to kill my brother. Why is that so hard for you two to understand?" He said coolly.

And it was enough to catch Sakura's attention. 'You two?'

And she couldn't even stop herself before making a complete idiot of herself.

"You two? Are you referring to me... and Kalei?" She said, her voice growing stern and dangerous.

Sasuke almost choked on the last bit of tea he swallowed. Wow...he needed to watch how he worded things. But there was no point in denying it now.

"Maybe."

She bit her tongue. It took everything in her not to start swearing randomly. She was still angry about her confrontation with Kalei yesterday.

"What exactly happened between you two while I was gone?" She asked calmly, taking a deep breath.

Wow. Just one more topic he didn't want to talk about. Nor think about. Thank for bringing it up, Sakura.

He shrugged, causing Sakura's temper to rise.

"I already know it was something. If you don't want to tell me fine...I won't ask again."

"Hn."

You bastard. She gritted her teeth. "If you don't tell me...I swear I'll walk away and never speak to you again."

Ooooh right...and Naruto hates ramen. He looked up at her and smirked. Pigs had a better chance of flying. "Oh yeah, huh? Prove it."

She scowled and him...and surprisingly enough...turned on her heel.

He rolled his eyes and after she took a few steps, called out to her, trying to get her attention, "Sakura...I was thinking we should go on another date." No harm in testing her theory. But surprisingly...

She didn't even budge. Just kept walking. He growled. Whatever, okay so maybe she was serious.

"Alright, Sakura...wait." He said, getting up quickly and running up to her. Oh gee...maybe he cared more than he thought. But she just kept walking until he grabbed onto her wrist tightly. She turned around with a satisfied look on her face.

"A date? I'm not interested."

Sasuke raised his eyebrows. "Sure as hell you aren't. Stop being annoying." His voice was smooth and low. The voice Sakura loved.

She shrugged and took a step back. "But I thought I just naturally was?" He released her wrist.

He thought back on the conversation he had with her the night he came back. Yes, he had called her annoying...once again. And thinking back on these things were driving him nuts. He was on the edge, and knew he could snap any second.

"You must have a thing for annoying girls...after all Kalei's more annoying than-"

And that was really all it took to push him over the edge. He forcefully placed his hand below her neck on her chest and shoved her back against the wall, earning a yelp from Sakura. They were right at a corner and luckily for Sasuke...nobody was around. This type of action might not have gone over so well with the Hokage.

"That's enough." He snarled angrily, causing Sakura's eyes to widen. Well, she wasn't expecting that.

"Then tell me the truth. What happened between you two?"

"Nothing. Nothing happened. She just told me how she felt."

Sakura's heart felt like a heavy weight just fell on top of it. "And how did she feel?"

Damn, did he really have to explain it. He looked around the area and took a deep breath. Sakura rolled her eyes. "If you're not going to tell me, then-"

She tried to push off the wall but as she made a little space between herself and the cold brick behind her, Sasuke angrily pushed her back against the wall, harder than the first time. "Then what?" He asked, his eyes now back on hers. Apparently...she wasn't going anywhere.

She glared at him, letting him know that right now, she wanted nothing more than to be as far away from him as possible. But that clearly wasn't an option now, was it?

"She told me what you tell me. Apparently, you two have a lot in common." He murmured quietly. He didn't want to flat out have to say that she told him she loved him. So he took the easy way around it. And Sakura understood.

She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. That was all she wanted to know.

He slowly removed his hand from her chest, and just when she thought she'd be able to breathe, he took a step toward her, closing the space between them. He was now within a foot of her, his serious gaze on her, making her nervous.

"Sakura, there is nothing between Kalei and I."

Sakura's muscles relaxed. That was a relief.

"And there's nothing between you and I, either." He said, causing her eyes to widen. Her breath caught in her throat and there was so much she wanted to say...but couldn't.

"Wh-why..." Was all she managed to whisper.

The sadness in her voice made Sasuke's heart feel heavy. He hated how she made him feel.

"Sakura...I'll be honest. It's not that I don't...care about you..."

Wow, did he really just say that?

"I just have things I need to do...and nothing will stop me. Not even you." He finished.

Sakura shook her head. "You're not listening to what I'm trying to tell you." She pleaded quietly.

"And you're not listening to what I'm telling you either." He muttered.

"See...you're just talking back." She snapped.

Sasuke sighed and rolled his eyes. "Okay...what are you trying to tell me?"

She felt tears forming in her eyes, but she pushed them away. She had to be strong. "I know you...you are an avenger. But what I'm asking for from you...is...just to come back to me and Naruto...after you kill him."

Sasuke's eyes widened.

A moment of silence passed.

"I'm not sure that can happen."

She bit her lip. "You think you'll die...don't you."

His expression softened. "No...I don't think that. But it's a possibility. And I'm not going to give you any false hope, because even if I do survive. I still might not come back."

The tears started forming faster, and her body started trembling. "Why...why...do you do this t-to...me?" She stuttered, closing her eyes tightly. Her expression hurt Sasuke. Just like right now, he was hurting her.

"Sakura."

Her breath was growing shaky. It was taking all she had not to cry. And as sad as it was making him...it was also making him angry.

"Sakura- get a grip." He snarled, trying to hide the quivering in his voice. Her eyes opened and she swallowed hard...swallowing the rising sobs.

"Why do you hate me so much?" She asked quietly, earning a shocked expression from Sasuke.

"I don't hate you...I just can't be...around you...and be the way you want me to be..." He said quietly.

"Yo!"

They both turned their heads to see their former sensei walking up the sidewalk, waving at them.

Perfect timing, Sasuke thought sarcastically. But he still had time to clear things up.

He leaned in closer to Sakura, so his lips ran against her nose when he spoke. Her expression looked rather surprised as she realized their proximity.

"I can't let things keep going this way. It will ruin everything...my goals...everything I've worked for. If things keep going this way...It's gonna be..." He hesitated.

Sakura could smell his breath, the sweet sent of tea mingling with her own. She just wanted to lean forward and kiss him right there. If nothing else, it would shut him up. But then she remembered Kakashi approaching fast.

"It's gonna be...it's gonna be that you-" She was cut off as Sasuke's hand came up to cover her mouth. His expression turned into one of regret and sadness.

"It's gonna be love."

Her eyes widened. No way had he just admitted that he was close to falling in love with her. Sasuke Uchiha? This was a dream...

Kakashi stopped at the edge of the sidewalk, eye wide. "I wouldn't normally ask you this, Sasuke...but am I interrupting anything?" He asked, confused.

Sasuke stared into Sakura's eyes for a second, then slowly removed his hand from her mouth. He used his other arm to push off of the arm she had brought up against her chest, pushing her into the wall a bit. He straightened out and took a step back, his eyes never moving from Sakura's. "No. Not anymore."

And that was it. He had just ended whatever she had with him. It was now gone. No getting it back.

She controlled the trembling in her body as Sasuke turned and walked away. She watched him leave, finding herself at a loss of words. There was so much she wanted to say...but she just couldn't. For right now...he was out of her reach.

He arrived at his house, a few hours later. He had gone for a walk to clear his mind, running over everything that had happened in the past few weeks. It was a disaster. Nothing could make this worse.

"Sasuke."

Okay...so maybe something could. He was in his back yard, his head in his hands as he was in deep thought, when a familiar voice sprung him out of his turmoil. He looked up from the spot in the grass he was sitting at, and seen Kalei standing in front of him.

She was in a black cloak, and her expression was completely emotionless. Dull...and sad. He ran his eyes all across her face, looking for some reason for the loss of normal cheerfulness, but could find nothing. His eyes slowly narrowed. Despite his curiosity of her sudden attitude change, he did not want to talk to her right now.

"What?" He asked hoarsely, looking away.

A moment of silence.

"About last night..."

Next Chapter: What You Really Feel