"I'll take a pina colada with a shot of vodka, please."

Deidara was slumped over the counter as he waited for his drink. Tobi had, somehow, entered his room and began to jump on the bed at 3:00 in the morning. He finally left after Deidara promised to buy him a cookie. His head was throbbing and the only cure he could think of was alcohol.

"What're you doing drinking alcohol this early?" Zetsu asked, walking into the bar.

"Trying to get a hangover."

"Why?"

"Tobi. God, now I know how you felt being his partner."

"It is difficult, but you'll get used to it."

"I hope so."

Walking into the area, Kisame began to chide the leader's tardiness.

"It's 8:20. The leader is always early and complains when we're even a minute late!"

Kisame kept complaining until he was interrupted.

"Kisame, I'm right here." There was a hint of anger in his voice.

"Oh… uh, sorry sir."

The leader said nothing in return and looked around to see he was missing people.

"Where is everyone? You were all supposed to be here by 8:00."

Nobody knew where the others were until Itachi spoke up.

"As you can see Kisame, Zetsu, Deidara, and myself are where you wanted us. Hidan is having breakfast, Tobi is still sleeping, and Kakuzu is pick- pocketing the vacationers."

The leader sighed, trying to repress an oncoming headache.

"Go get the others."

10 Minutes Later-

The three slackers were now standing with the rest of the group. Hidan still had a bowl of cereal in his hands while Tobi swayed back and forth tiredly.

"Now, I planned that today we would hand out on the beach and possibly surf or use the jet skis. So, everyone get your swim gear and go to the beach. Dare I say… have fun."

They all ran back to their rooms and changed, then headed down to the sand.

Beach-

"Kisame, it's almost 90 degrees out. How can you be wearing your cloak?" Deidara stated, looking oddly at him. Itachi came up behind him to see what was happening.

"I'm kind of embarrassed about what I'm wearing."

"It can't be that bad. Show me."

"Alright, if you insist."

Kisame undid his cloak to reveal a skin-tight, black Speedo thong.

"Oh my god! My virgin eyes!" Deidara screamed in horror as he covered his eyes with his hands.

"Do you like it?" Kisame smiled.

"Kisame," Itachi walked up to him.

"Yes?"

"I have an idea."

Itachi activated his Mangekyo Sharingan.

"Deidara, look at me."

Deidara looked at him, instantly being thrown into a genjutsu of what he saw just seconds ago. Deidara ran in circles, screaming in mental pain. He would be suffering through it for the next 72 hours. Everyone laughed at him.

"Tobi, what're you doing?" Tobi was standing in front of Zetsu as he lay on a towel in the sand.

"Do you wanna to play with me?"

"No. Now move Tobi, you're blocking the sun."

"Why do you need sunlight?"

"Tobi," Zetsu growled, "I'm in the middle of fucking photosynthesis! Leave me alone!"

"If you say so, Zetsu-san."

Tobi didn't bother him for the rest of the afternoon.

Later-

After being released from the genjutsu, Deidara was sitting in the sand, sculpting a castle.

"Watch everyone as my sand castle becomes sand debris!"

Deidara reached into his clay bag and pulled some clay out, but it felt different somehow. He looked down to examine it.

"What the hell!? Who replaced my clay with play-doh?"

A giggle was heard in the distance.

"Tobi, you knuckle-headed swine! Give me my clay or I'll blow your head off!"

Deidara screamed as he watched Tobi sit at a table near the ice cream vendor. He was sculpting what looked to be very misshapened figures of the Akatsuki members. What made it worse was that Tobi was eating ice cream and didn't care it Deidara was mad.

"Hey Tobi, how's the ice cream?" Kisame yelled to him.

"Don't antagonize him, you brute!" Deidara was furious.

"Shut up, shim!"

"It's really good. Try some." Tobi was still happily licking at his cone.

Everyone except Deidara went over and ordered their favorite flavor.

"I'm all alone, aren't I?"

"Yeah, you're hopeless." The leader stated, walking up behind him.

"Thanks," he replied sarcastically.

The leader took a step back to think.

"Tobi!"

"Oh, yes sir?"

"Give Deidara his clay."

"Of course master. Sorry senpai."

Deidara just grumbled as he caught the clay Tobi had thrown.

Now seeing that the problem was resolved, the leader turned to look out at the horizon. The sun was quickly setting.

"Everyone, head back inside. You can order dinner from your room. Tomorrow we'll meet at the pool."

Everyone left what they were doing and went in to eat.

Did you all like this? It wasn't funny was it? Tell me if it was funny and I'll give you a cookie! We'll work through chapter 4 and get to 5 which I think is really damn funny.

Please review.