Chapter 4: Finders. Keepers.

Part I: Winners. Losers.

"Look out!"

"What? AH!"

"…You okay?"

"Yea… ow… shit! Let's get the hell outta here now!!"

Saturday

When I woke up the next day I was still asleep. It was strange. My eyes were opened but I seemed to be stuck in a state of dreaming because the dog looking back at me with its tongue hanging out of its mouth couldn't possibly be real… could it?

"Warf!" I jumped up, startled by the thing's vociferous bark. My head was spinning from the sudden movement and I screamed. The dog was startled at my outcry and ran around in circles, howling.

"Kairi!" I saw Sora take the dog by its collar and try to pull it down from the bed. The dog was stubborn, but it finally hopped down on its own and sprinted from the room, tail wagging.

"Sora! What the hell," I cried. Sora grinned sheepishly and rubbed the back of his head embarrassedly.

"That's my mom's dog, Angelo. I uh… well I brought him over to cheer Namine up, but he seems to be making things worse…"

"Namine?"

"Yea. She likes dogs right? Besides, she's been a little down since two days ago. I thought I'd just cheer her up... Know what's bugging her?" I shook my head even though I saw a vivid replay of her and Riku's break up in my mind. My own heart dropped down to my stomach and I felt like crying myself from the memory alone.

"What's your problem? Don't tell me you're sad too!"

"Huh? No! No I'm not. I was thinking that maybe… maybe it was Seifer's party yesterday. Maybe she drank too much?"

"Yea. Maybe… But you only drink so much when you want to forget something. So what ever it is bugging Namine's gotta be bad." Sora's eyes looked down cast and his sadness seemed to radiate throughout the entire room. I got up, unsure of how I'd comfort him, but I did manage to encircle my arms around his torso in a loose embrace as I said, "It's okay… things can only get better." I was startled when he closed what little space there was between us as he hugged me back, tightly.

"I wish she'd tell me… I feel helpless."

"You're not helpless… Just… give it time."

"…Yea…" I squeezed him a little and laid my head on his chest. He smelled so good. I inhaled more loudly than I intended. I hoped he wasn't freaked out by my sniffing him. I didn't want our time together to end exactly right at the moment.

"Sora…," I breathed. I was beginning to loose myself in his warmth (against my own will mind you) and his arms released themselves from around my small frame. He pushed me away gently and I looked him in the eyes.

"Uh… thanks Kairi. I'm sorry… for uh… waking you up. I'll let you get dressed now." I blushed when I realized that I was still in my sleep clothes, boxers and a tank top. And to top it off… my nipples were hard. I turned around and crossed my arms over my chest while proceeding to laugh off my awkwardness. Sora chuckled a little himself as he left the room like a perfect gentleman. I was left wanting more.

It couldn't be that he didn't know how I felt about him by now. Not that it mattered if he did or not. He made his choice. He was in love with my sister as much as I hated to admit it. Besides, he had to be used to girls liking him so much anyway, what with his fan club at school and everything. He had to see me the same way he saw those groupies. However, I knew that I was no groupie. I didn't worship the ground he walked on. I just liked him. A lot. So… how could I differentiate myself from those girls? Why was I worried about it? My sister had already done so. She already won.

After I took a shower and got dressed, I went downstairs and saw Namine sitting on the cough with her head lulled back. Angelo was sitting with her with his head in her lap. His tail wagged when he saw me coming and I was scared that he'd jump on me.

"Stay…," I said cautiously. He did and I smiled. "Good boy." I patted his head and watched Namine for any signs of life. She moaned.

"Hang over?"

"Mm," she mumbled, "Ugh…"

"Are you gonna live?" I asked as I shook her by her shoulder a little bit. She looked at me with squinty eyes.

"Unfortunately…" My stomach had a threatening flopping sensation and I thought I was going to be sick. I took a seat next to her and Angelo decided to lay across both our laps with lazy ease. My sister numbly rubbed him as her eyes focused on nothing. She was just staring out in the vast space of nothingness perhaps filling its voids with imaginative figments in order to create for her a false comfort. I wanted to cry.

She wasn't herself since her and Riku split. With the way they felt about one another, I guessed that it was the natural reaction. Still, Namine wasn't the type to ever get sad. Never. She was the epitome of confidence; strength, beauty, and happiness embodied into one gorgeous female who unknowingly fell victim to her boyfriend's best friend's charms. I would blame all her pain on Riku but I knew it wasn't just his fault. He was probably hurting as well. Naturally I blamed myself for her hurt. Maybe if I didn't push her to do it… But I was a lot more relieved now because I knew things would slowly melt back into place… Though I wondered how that could even be possible. Too much had happened. I couldn't worry about the future. My problem was now. How did I make my sister feel better?

"…Namine… I'm… sorry," I told. Why did I feel the need to apologize for other people? Namine grinned a little and continued to focus her gaze at emptiness.

"What have you got to be sorry for? You didn't do anything."

"But… But I was the one who forced you to break up with Riku… and… you're suffering. I'm sorry." Namine was quiet, but I could tell that she was thinking. Her hand kept going back and forth, down and up Angelo's back. He wagged his tail with content and I envied him. It must be easy being a dog.

"You take way too much blame on yourself Kairi. This isn't your life. It's mine. I make the decisions and therefore deal with the consequences. When I broke-up with Riku it was because I know I have a future with Sora… At least I want one. He's a great guy. Riku… is just Riku."

"But… you love him." This time she looked at me.

"And I chose to get over it. How can I be sure it's love? If it's meant to be then it will be. Now, for real Kairi stop worrying about my life and focus more on your own. It's okay to be concerned but stop making my problems your problems. Get some of your own." After she said that she got up with Angelo and left the room. I sat there feeling dumb and also a little happy. I was glad that my assumptions about my sister were correct. She was strong. Pain was inevitable and she knew it. It didn't matter who she chose, she expected to be unhappy because of whatever she decided to give up. She also knew that I wasn't a good enough reason to base her choice on… Was I really trying to live her life? Didn't I have my own?

----

Weekends weren't pleasurable anymore. I felt so worn out and didn't know why. Then all my misplaced energy wasn't enough to come up with something to do, so I walked around my block. For a late November day, it was hot; completely different from what the weather had been lately. I sighed with boredom.

"Hey! Kairi!" I turned around and saw Olette coming up behind me. She was carrying groceries and I rushed to help her.

"Are you alright? Here. I got it," I said as I took two of her bags. Olette smiled and nodded her head in thanks. We continued on the path I was walking on.

"So. I didn't catch you at Seifer's party yesterday. What were you up to?" She questioned.

"…Nothing. I was just feeling sorry about myself." Olette looked at me and questioningly arched an eyebrow.

"What about? It can't be worse then rape."

"Yea… b…but…," I got tongue tied. Her cracking jokes about that didn't seem at all funny. Maybe that was how she chose to deal with it but I was still sore from the ass whooping I received on account of it.

"But what?" I couldn't believe I was going to open up to her, but I needed to talk to someone. Selphie was smitten with Tidus (I was avoiding her anyway) and Namine had her own problems to deal with. They were the only ones I talked to.

"Well… for one I think I'm bordering along the lines of being gay."

"The hell?"

"Well. See, I was asked to go to Seifer's party yesterday by Demyx a day before the party. I turned him down and he called me gay. Not only that but my sister thought I was gay for hanging out with Selphie, who I am avoiding so as not to give any more false impressions of myself…"

"Why didn't you go to the party anyway? That would have pissed Demyx off especially if you'd gone with someone else," Olette explained. I sighed. We came to a busy intersection. Once the light turned, we rushed to the other side of the street.

"I hadn't turned him down for calling me gay… I just turned him down…"

"What?? He's f-ing gorgeous AND available!"

"AND I found out yesterday that Yuffie likes him and she's giving me hell for him being nice to me. If it weren't for her, maybe I would have actually gone to the party. I had been reconsidering since he apologized and everything."

"You let that slut change your mind for you??? Kairi you're too soft! If you wanted to go you should have went. I mean, Demyx is fully capable of choosing who he likes and it seems to me that he likes you."

"Yea… but… I like someone else."

"… It's not a girl is it?"

"No. But he's taken so it might as well be…"

"Kairi. You give up too easily. If the guy you want is taken then steal him or move on. Look at me. I dumped Roxas and am now going steady with… uh… what's his name? Oh! Raajin!"

"Seifer's friend?"

"Fujin hooked us up. And yea. I like him. He's funny and a helluva lot nicer then Roxas…" As she said this, I saw a slight quiver in her lip. I knew she was lying but I wondered why. If leaving Roxas hurt her so much then why did she do it? I decided not to ask at this particular point in time. It wasn't my problem after all. Maybe I'd go through some tough decision and be in pain from its outcome then I'd know. Olette stopped in front of a large house and I gasped. I forgot that she had money. Her estate was ridiculously large and she went on about her business as if it was nothing. I wondered why she was out buying the groceries herself. Didn't she have someone to do that? She kicked open the front gates and walked on the pavement that led to the main house. I followed, engrossed with all the statues and giant fountain decorating the yard.

We were both near the door when we spotted a person sitting on her stoop. I gasped in surprise when I realized that it was Roxas. He was sitting with an irritated expression. Olette seemed to see right pass him until he blocked her way into her own home.

"Move," she hissed. Her eyes were averted elsewhere as she refused to look at him.

"No. We need to talk. How come you've been blowing me off? And what's with this whole Raajin thing? Did Fujin put you up to this? Huh?" He questioned. Olette didn't speak and continued to look at everything but him.

"Olette. Come on. This shit's not funny anymore."

"I wasn't aware that it was a joke. And good God. Is that you smelling like that? What have you been up to?" Since Olette brought it up, I saw that he was looking ragged and there was a stench that mingled with the nice fall air. Roxas sniffed under his armpits.

"Oh. Well. Actually I haven't been home for a while…"

"What's your excuse this time? Your uncle wouldn't let you smoke in the house?"

"…I've missed you," he plainly and earnestly said. Olette looked him in the eyes. They were silent and Roxas stuffed his hands in his pockets to stop their nervous shaking.

"Roxas…"

"I… just don't understand what I did wrong."

"You made out with Yuffie! What do you think?"

"It didn't mean anything! Geez! You know I didn't mean anything by that shit!"

"… It hurt me… badly."

"Olette! How can anything hurt you?? You have everything! You're good at everything! And you know that you're all I've got!"

"…Then why'd you make out with her? You claim to love me but all we seem to do is fight and you… you… I can't deal with it anymore!"

"What the hell do I have to do to make it up to you??"

"… Get outta the way. I'm with Raajin now."

"You're not serious."

"But I am actually."

"Olette."

"Move."

"Please be reasonable."

"Move."

"Olette!"

"… Move." Roxas stood his ground and so did Olette. Finally yielding to his defeat, Roxas looked away from her and began to walk away. He paused, mid-stride, and whispered to her, "Once you told me that I was the one you wanted… I guess it was a lie."

"… And you told me that you loved me. You don't hurt the people you love Roxas." He stood there glaring at her, but Olette refused to meet his gaze. She went inside and Roxas continued on his way. As he walked pass me, he said, "Kairi."

"Roxas…," I acknowledged. He continued on his way and I watched him leave.

"Kairi! Get in here!" I obeyed Olette's command and entered into her glamorous home.

"Momma! I'm home!" Olette yelled after she slammed the front door closed.

"Good! I was just on my way out! Can you take those groceries to your nana?"

"Where is she?"

"I think she's in the kitchen!"

"Okay!" I covered my ears, recoiling from the extreme amplitude of their voices. If their main means of communication meant extremely loud talking throughout different parts of the house, I didn't want to stay any longer than need be. I followed Olette down an extravagant hall that led to her kitchen and there I saw an old lady fussing around with the stove.

"Hi nana," Olette said (in a normal tone of voice I might add). Her grandmother ceased her work to pull her grandchild into a loving embrace, laughing happily as she did so.

"My gorgeous grandchild has returned! Wonderful!" she exclaimed. Olette laughed and pulled away from her warm embrace.

"Yea. My friend Kairi helped me." Olette said with a grin. She placed the bags on the marble counter and I followed suit while saying, "It's very nice to meet you."

"Likewise. Olette doesn't have many female friends after all. She's too busy wooing the young men huh? Like that nice young man who waited for you on the stoop. I invited him in dear but he was very stubborn… He'd been out there for well over an hour. Did you talk to him?"

"… I rather I hadn't. I don't even understand why he bothered," Olette muttered. Her grandmother and I exchanged looks.

"Ah. Yes. Alas, every rose has its thorn," she said wisely. Olette just shrugged off her grandmother's comment.

"I don't want to talk about it. Come on Kairi." I followed Olette out of the kitchen, feeling guilty for her foul mood. After all, I encouraged Roxas to talk to her.

Yesterday he cornered me in the hallway when I happened to be alone. Lately, solitude was a rarity that I savored anytime I could get it. He wasn't too happy.

"You're the one who claims that Hayner beat you up right? My cousin's girlfriend's sister?"

"What's it to you?"

"Don't get fresh girl. Thanks to you, Hayner's facing expulsion and I'm having trouble at home. Sora won't stop picking fights with me."

"Well I'm sorry to hear it," I said. I turned to go because I didn't want to be late for class, but he pushed me up against the lockers forcefully and I felt my head spin dangerously.

"What the hell?" I cried.

"You're not sorry yet, but believe me, you're gonna be very sorry if you don't go talk to the principal right now and tell him that it wasn't Hayner who beat you up."

"He did!" Roxas glared at me angrily and slammed his fist into the locker by my head. I involuntarily flinched.

"Stop lying! He doesn't even know you to hit you like that! Besides that, he's not that kind of guy!" My own anger grew and I pushed him away from my personal space.

"How do you know what kind of guy he is? Just because you haven't seen him hit a girl doesn't mean that he hasn't!" Roxas shook his head in disagreement.

"Maybe so… but I know he didn't hit you of all people."

"And how do you know this?"

"First off, you're a terrible liar so I don't see how you got everyone eating out of your hand like that and secondly, because he likes you… or did anyway." My whole body shivered even though it wasn't cold. I hated him. I couldn't believe that he liked me! There was no way in hell that I'd be his girl anyway! Roxas watched me and finally asked, "Why did it have to be him that you chose to screw over? Who are you really trying to protect?" I stared back at him, reluctant to answer. As I looked into his eyes, I noticed for the first time all the similar traits he and Sora held for just being cousins. Despite his crummy attitude, I concluded that I owed him an answer of some kind for being Sora's cousin if nothing else.

"Talk to Olette about it. Hayner may not have done any harm to me up front, but Olette…" I didn't think getting into specifics was a good idea. What if Olette was still sore about the attack? Roxas arched an eyebrow and crossed his arms impatiently.

"Me and Olette aren't talking right now."

"And why do you think that is? Well, if you can't get it from her then ask your little buddy about it. Since he's such a nice guy maybe he'll tell you the truth." Slowly his attitude changed. He seemed more anxious and curious.

"… What happened? What'd he do to Olette?"

"I'm not entitled to say. Ask either one of them. And another thing, Sora has every right to pick fights with you, especially if you're anything like the company you keep." I left him in a bigger state of perplexity after I talked with him than before.

To think he actually listened.

I looked at Olette as she lay on her large king-sized bed and played with one of her many decorative pillows. I took a seat in her bean bad chair at the other end of the room and observed my surroundings. I was in a rainbow paradise. She certainly enjoyed colorful spaces.

"Cozy," I commented. She grinned.

"Ain't it though?" She sat up and tossed a fluffy decorative pillow my way. I caught it.

"Listen. Olette. I was just wondering… why don't you like Roxas anymore?" Olette sighed heavily and laid on her back, arms wide opened, staring at her sky blue ceiling complete with spacious white blobs drabbled on here and there, which I guessed were supposed to be clouds of all kinds. When she didn't respond right away, I thought that she was angry or something. Finally, she said, almost in a whisper, "We're two totally different people… Roxas, before he was taken in by Sora's folks, was an orphan that worked the streets. He's a rough guy who barely trusts anyone and takes whatever he gets. Me, I'm a straight 'A' student, I'm on the honor roll, and I'm a triumphant athlete that's on her way to the top. We're two very contradictory existences trying to mesh together… I met him at a party that I'd gone to with Fuu. It wasn't a big party, but it was full of a lot of older kids. Usually I wouldn't have gone. I would stick firmly to my studies even though it was summer time. I was really stressed out and needed to take my mind offa things.

"Heh. I remember I was basically glued to the wall because I felt like such a nerd… so outta place. He came and talked to me. He said, 'Aren't you gonna dance?' At first I ignored him because I thought he was a… uh… junky I guess you could say. But he was so persistent…"

"What? Can't a top grade girl like you dance?"

"I felt like he was challenging me so naturally I accepted. We danced and… and something about us just clicked right away. I liked him a lot and that night I lost my virginity. After school started I barely had time enough to talk to him so he came to our school from offa the streets. At first it worked, but I guess he started to feel intimidated because he was a grade behind me and two behind Sora. He's not a dumb guy but school wasn't agreeing and apparently we weren't either. He always assumed I was better than him at everything and I was getting irritated at him for not pushing himself to do his best. We kept going back and forth and were constantly at one another's throat. We broke up and got back together. And really. There's only so much a girl can take Kairi. I wish I was more like you. No boy's worth that much trouble." I blushed with embarrassment. I knew she didn't really want to be like me. I was missing out on the great things about having a boyfriend by not trying. She was strong enough to try and now she was giving up the love of her life to be someone like me…

"… But… you still… love him right?" It was quiet and Olette turned to her side, a small smile gracing her lips.

"… I do actually. But I don't want to be hurt anymore. It's just not working out."

"Maybe you should have listened to him earlier. He seemed really sorry."

"He's always sorry and never changes. I asked him to stop hanging out with Hayner but he refused."

"Did you tell him that he raped you?"

"…No." I shook my head and tossed the pillow I was holding up into the air. It came back down and I caught it.

"You need to talk to him. He really isn't stupid. He knows Hayner didn't beat me up… and I kinda led him to believe… that he hurt you some kind of way…" Olette looked at me with a shocked expression.

"What?"

"But I didn't tell him that he raped you." Olette sighed in disbelief. I squeezed the furry pillow to myself and watched her intently. She seemed to be having a silent mental battle with herself about the matter because she kept smiling and frowning, giggling and sighing like a person with split personality disorder. Just then her phone rang, interrupting the multiple personalities' battle.

"Hello? Olette speaking…," she answered, "What? Fuu? Is that you? Ha! I rhymed! … What? Hold on, I've got Kairi over. Lemme put you on speaker phone."

"Hello?" Fujin's voice said through the speaker of Olette's hot pink cordless house phone.

"Hi Fujin," I greeted.

"Hey Kairi… Anyway, Olette are you f-ing listening to me?? They stole it! It's gone missing and now Seifer's bitching at me on his sister's behalf! And if he keeps bitching at me about his sister's problems I'm gonna get irritated to the point that I hack off his balls and make him sit on them and squish them!!"

"Fuu. Calm down…"

"I am calm! Seifer's the one flippin' out!"

"Wait a minute. What?" I asked. Olette bit a finger nail off her pinky and spit it back out.

"Seifer's sister, rather half sister I should say, has misplaced something valuable and has Seifer buggin'."

"What?"

"His sister doesn't know that it's gone Olette! She's out of town with his step mom for the weekend and it went missing after the party."

"What is 'it' exactly?" My question went unheard or ignored.

"Oh. Well, he's screwed. Doesn't he know to hide the valuables during happy hour?"

"Don't you know party goers like to sniff out the valuables?" Fujin countered, "Olette help me help him find out who stole it or I swear no one's gonna be a happy camper because I'll slowly and painfully torture everyone until I can't anymore!!"

"What?? Excuse me but what exactly is missing here?" I butted in. Olette didn't answer but looked at the phone expectantly.

"Seifer lost his sister's photo album," Fujin said grimly. I looked at Olette, searching her face for meaning. What was so important about a stinky book full of pictures? Fujin seemed to read my mind because she said, "It's like a diary. She's taken pictures of important and personal moments of her life… Anyway, the point is, she'd rather not have that out in the open."

"Oh," was the only response I could manage.

"Olette! Help me dammit! He's pissing me off!"

"Okay. Okay! Get over here to my place ASAP and we'll figure this together."

"'Kay!" We heard a dial tone and Olette hung up her phone.