Chapter 9: Everyone Gets Their Just Desserts
Part II: Justice in terms of the Exes/ Walking in the Dawn
"Shouldn't you be getting dressed?"
"Why? I don't wanna go home yet!" I whined. Sora gave me a look.
"Who said I was gonna take you home? We still have to go on that date that I was talkin' about earlier. Remember?" Right. I quirked an eye brow inquiringly.
"Where are we going all of a sudden? I mean, Sora. You realize that this is all happening pretty fast don't you? I mean. I just broke up with Demyx and you just broke up with Namine'. Shouldn't we… I don't know. Not enjoy this time together out of respect for our past relationships? I feel kinda guilty being happy here with you while they're sitting around sulking in misery." Sora thought about this.
"Well… I don't want the date to be ruined because you feel bad… I guess I could postpone it until later… But… I've got practice in the morning and games the whole week… I don't know how long later is going to be." Wow. He was really considering this.
"Uh Sora. Don't worry about it. We got all the time in the world." He nodded.
"Yeah…" He looked at me a little bit longer before reaching over and rubbing his hand through my tangled hair. I leaned into his touch and closed my eyes when his hand cupped my face lovingly. I couldn't believe how happy I was. I couldn't believe that Sora and I were together and it was okay. I couldn't believe how such a simple touch could provoke all this emotion within me. He used his other hand to push some hair out of my eyes. I wondered if he could tell how he was affecting me. I wondered if he was feeling the same I was. Something told me that the answers to my inquiries were highly in my favor.
"Kairi…," he breathed, "It's weird isn't it? Being here like this? I mean… I was so angry when I saw you and Demyx together. I didn't think I could ever forgive you because it hurt so bad…" I kissed his hand and then laid my own on his as I slid closer to him to feel his warmth. By now, Sora had given me one of his shirts to wear and it hung off of me like a drape, while he was in a pair of boxers.
"I know… I hadn't realized just how much I truly cared about you until today…"
"I've cared about you a long time Kairi. A long… long time…" I felt butterflies in my stomach when he kissed my head and lingered there like he was absorbing me.
"Why didn't you just say something Sora? Why did you choose to use Namine' that way?"
"Because… I was stupid Kairi. Plus I wasn't really using Namine'. I care about her… but it's not the same. And you scared me."
"Wow. Now you're starting to sound like Demyx," I noticed after I remembered the time when Demyx and I first "met". He had called me unapproachable and I had become aware of what an outsider I truly was. I heard a low growl rumble in Sora's throat and I looked at him curiously.
"Don't do that," he hissed.
"What?"
"Compare me to that… guy…"
"Sora. Come on. You can't really hate him that much right? I mean, you guys play on the same team."
"I hate him." I could see this conversation was getting us no where.
"Look Sora…" Before I could finish my sentence, there was a knock on the door.
"Sora! There's a phone call for you!" I felt my face turn a million shades of red when I heard and recognized the voice and Sora shared the same crimson tones on his face.
"Okay mom! I'll take it in here!"
"What? Okay… Whatever." I heard Mrs. Leonhart's gentle footfalls as she left the door and my tense muscles relaxed. As Sora proceeded to find his phone, I wondered to myself silently about my reaction. Was it wrong to be seen here with Sora after all? Why did I feel guilty? Given, children don't usually feel comfortable sharing that kind of information with their parents but…
"Larxene? Hey what's up?" I felt my stomach flip around and sat up. I watched Sora but his back was to me.
"Huh? Oh. You heard huh? Namine' just 'let it slip' like that right? Whatever… Yeah I guess it is true. We're broken up… I know. She already told me about her and Riku. No… No I can't say that I'd expected that at all. I mean… He's my best friend." Sora got up and something in his tone changed. He began pacing the room angrily, but a somber look was etched into his handsome facial features. His usually bright eyes even took on a misty look. I wanted to comfort him, to show him that everything was alright. I mean, he had me after all. I felt the buzz of our post love making slowly disintegrate the longer he stayed on the phone with Larxene and my attitude shifted to anger. How dare she call and interrupt like this?
"Well duh I'm pissed! I mean what if you're best friend was sleeping with your girlfriend behind your back? You'd be mad too! … You know what I mean! … No I haven't talked to him yet and I'm giving myself time to cool down before I have to… Hm? Uh… No. You don't need to come over. I've already got someone to cheer me up… Who? Well… that's…" I sprung up from the mattress, the bed springs squeaking happily without the added weight on them, and wrestled the phone from his hand. I accidentally pressed the button to hang up on Larxene during the struggle, but I didn't feel guilty. She deserved it for ruining our time together anyway. Sora gave me a bewildered look and I looked at my feet, finding them more appealing than meeting his intense gaze.
"Kairi? What are you doing?" He asked.
"Don't… tell anyone about this Sora… Not yet." A bone chilling hush fell between us as Sora contemplated my words. I bit my bottom lip, silently wishing I had the power to turn back time so I could once again be fuzzy headed with love on the brain.
After hearing about Namine' and Riku and the conversation about Demyx, I realized that things weren't all black and white. Things were complicated. Besides, I was starting to worry about us, Sora and me, now. I mean, what did the development of our relationship mean for our lives? Had we'd gotten physical too fast? That made me think of Namine' and Riku's relationship. Riku knew he loved Namine', but at the same time he didn't know any other way to express himself than through sex, which Namine' didn't argue with of course. But it had confused her and made her think that their relationship was just sexual even though she knew that it had evolved over time. I didn't want there to be any misgivings between Sora and me. Sure I loved him. I mean, I cared about him more than anything. But, could I be sure that it was true? I was just a kid anyway, and right now, hormones speak louder than common sense. Was I acting on impulse and not feelings? I mean… Demyx almost had me… Ugh! Why think about it now? It was over and done with and I knew I wouldn't change it even if given the chance, so there really was no point in stressing about it.
But there are other things to worry about, such as how to tell my friends about the new development, or how to deal with everyone at school. I mean, this was going to be a big deal. Sora and Namine', the dream couple, split up after six years? And Sora was now going out with Namine's little sister Kairi of all people? I'd be looked down upon and every girl in the high school would be spiteful of me. Not to mention if Larxene found out it would be dangerous… This, being together, was dangerous because Sora was such a people's person. He was like some kind of magnet that people were attracted to. Namine' was the same; only she had people who hated her. Even Sora got along with people he disliked. Maybe being his girlfriend was going to be more of a chore than I thought. I wasn't social. Sure, I'd made a few new acquaintances since the end of first semester, but truth be told, I still hadn't changed. I longed for my anonymity and now I saw that it wouldn't be coming back. Especially since Sora was in the picture. People told him all kinds of things and he'd be tangled up in the midst of it. I didn't want to be like that. Never. But alas, low and behold.
I sat on the edge of the bed as all these thoughts began to take their toll on me. My legs felt like jelly and my stomach was starting to hurt. Sora sat beside me. I still couldn't look at him, which was funny since he was all I ever thought of looking at since I woke-up three hours ago. I felt his long, thick, masculine fingers intertwine between my smaller ones and I welcomed his loose but comforting touch.
"…If you keep all your thoughts bottled up… I won't know what you're thinking… And if I don't know what you're thinking then I can't help you," he said in a whisper. I inhaled a large breath and lay my head on his shoulder. How could I tell him all the horrible things going through my mind in that one moment? How could I tell him that I had some serious doubts about us being able to work as a couple?
"Uh… well… Sora. I don't know how everyone is gonna react to our being together and I don't want to make things difficult for Namine' so…"
"So?" He beckoned.
"So… I think we should keep this a secret from everyone like I said before… It's just better this way I think." I felt him stiffen at my words and another deathly silence fell between us. I felt suffocated, like the walls were closing in and my hearing was gone, so I hopped up and cried, "Sora say something! You make me feel like I did something wrong!" He looked at me and held my gaze pointedly.
"I… I don't know what to say Kairi. Are you ashamed to be with me? Was I not good enough in bed for you? Or is sex the only thing you want?" His words pierced through my heart like a sharp sword. My eyes burned with oncoming tears.
"No Sora! That's not it at all!" He looked away from me.
"Then what's the problem? Everyone's going to find out eventually… Why delay the inevitable? And anyway if we get it over with now then I won't have any drama my senior year and you won't have to deal with people's nagging the last two years of high school." How did he know I was stressing about school? How did he know I wasn't talking about our friends or family members? I mean, my parents would hate Sora if they found out he dismissed Namine' and moved on to me without the slightest compunction.
"That's true but… but… I can't handle all the pressure right now…"
"What pressure Kairi? There's no pressure. I'm not pressuring you to do anything!"
"I'm not talking about you! Oh God!" I slumped in his swiveling desk chair and put my face in my hands. I heard Sora grunt and then in a small voice he said, "Okay Kairi. We'll wait to break the news to everyone…" I looked at him and saw a guilty look on his face.
"Really?"
"Yeah. But if someone asks then I won't deny it Kairi. Don't ask me to either! And I don't see why everyone else matters to you anyway. Everyone doesn't make up this relationship. This is just between you and me." I felt myself blush. He was right. He seemed right about a lot of things. So now I felt stupid.
"Uh… I think I'll go home now…" He gave me a look.
"What? But… I don't want you to go home yet." My stupidity increased when I realized I was feeling stupid for no reason as well as hurting Sora for my lack of confidence. Now I really did have to get out of there.
"Yeah… Okay. I'm leaving." I gathered up my scattered articles of clothing and started to strip out of Sora's extra large white T. I could feel Sora watching me and I got hot but I concentrated on trying to get my underwear back on. I never had this much trouble dressing myself ever. I was clipping my bra, or at least trying to when Sora circled his arms around me and took my hands into his own. His chin rested on my shoulder and he took the bra clasps into his hands where he proceeded to clip them together. Then he pulled the bra back around and fit it properly on me. It would have been damn sexy if I wasn't feeling like a stupid child having to have help getting dressed.
"You piss me off," I hissed hotly. I could practically see a grin forming on his face even though my back was to him.
"And you turn me on," he replied. I elbowed him in the ribs, ignoring the rush of emotion that filled me after hearing his comment, and put my pants on. Then I grabbed my shirt and put that on too. I flipped my hair and looked at Sora who was doubled over in pain.
"Tootles!" I opened his door and darted from his room. Just as I was coming down the stairs, I saw Mrs. Leonhart leaving out the door. Good thing she hadn't seen me, otherwise that would've been one helluva confrontation. Taking the stairs two steps at a time, I reached the bottom and grabbed my coat and put it on. I was almost out the door when someone came up from behind me and slammed the door closed right when I was about to leave.
"Oh! Shit!" I cussed. I turned around and saw Sora frowning at me. He had thrown on his previously worn jeans and shirt and looked really unruly, which forced a smile to form on my lips.
"You look like a train wreck," I said.
"Ha ha. You weren't leaving without saying bye right?"
"I said bye. I said tootles remember?"
"What the hell is tootles besides a complete shit farewell?" A laugh erupted from the pit of my gut and my head rolled back as I laughed at his comment. He took my face into his hands and made me look at him.
"Stop laughing. It wasn't funny…" I snorted a little as the laugh died and frowned at the brunette angrily.
"Don't tell me what's funny and what's not! I'll laugh at whatever I want!"
"And I'll get a proper good bye whenever you leave." He kissed me as a follow up to his previous statement. I sighed and wrapped my arms around his neck, standing slightly on my tippy toes. His arms encircled my middle and he kinda pulled me off the ground some. I broke away and giggled a little as he swung me from side to side.
"You're trying to make me stay…," I said. He rubbed his nose against mine and grinned.
"Guilty!"
"Sora…" Sighing, he reluctantly let me go and I turned around to leave. Sora stood in the doorway watching me leave and then he went back in when I turned the corner that was out of his line of sight. Unbeknownst to me at the time, someone else was watching me too.
When I got home it had already gotten dark and my dad was quick to interrogate me about where I had been all day. I lied saying that I was over at Selphie's house. He was steamed that I hadn't called to let anyone know where I went or let anyone know where I was heading before I left. I just shrugged it off telling him that Namine' knew where I was. I was floating on cloud nine and he wasn't about to bring me back down to his unhappy lowliness on the ground. I got to my room and was welcomed with a surprise. Rikku's things had been moved out and the girl was no where in sight. I left and after checking the rest of the upstairs rooms, I saw that Namine' wasn't home either and neither was my mother. Curious to the whereabouts of the other household members, I called over the banister, "Where's Rikku, mom, and Namine'?" My father's voice came sailing from the kitchen, "Namine' had to drive them to the airport! Apparently, Rikku's father's condition got bad over night and they had to fly over there at the last minute before things got even worse."
"Why didn't you drive them instead?"
"Namine' needs to practice or how else will she be in shape for her driving test? Anyway, I've been left to house duty so come help me cook dinner."
"Uh huh!" I got into my pajamas, feeling that the clothes I had on were still tainted with Sora since his scent still lingered in them. I felt that if I went into my father's presence with them on then he might figure out what I had been doing all day and the experience Sora and I shared would be defiled. As I put on my top, my phone rang and I looked at the caller ID. The number was familiar but I didn't know who it was. I picked the phone up consciously and answered, "Hello?"
"Hello Kairi. Just got back home huh? Just got back from getting your brains fucked outta your skull by Sora huh? You little slut." The voice was raspy and monotonous and I had no idea who it was that I was talking to from that.
"Who the hell is this?" I asked. The fear filling my senses was beginning to gather in my throat and my voice didn't sound nearly as pissed as I wanted it to. I crossed my room to look out my window to see if I couldn't catch someone spying on me. The streets were empty.
"Who do you think? What? Were you expecting your little rendezvous to be conspicuous? You make it so obvious you little tramp! You haven't been broken up for a day and already you're running to Sora. I guess you two make the perfect couple. A regular old dream team. No remorse for anyone. Bitches."
"Demyx? Is this you? Why are you being so…"
"This ain't Demyx. It's a friend and you should count yourself lucky that you don't know who I am cuz when we meet in person you can bet you won't be so fortuitous. Watch your back bitch cuz justice will be served." Fortuitous? Served justice? What the hell? Before I could ask some more questions, I heard a rude click and then the dial tone. Hanging my phone up, I stared at it a little longer before joining my father downstairs.
It was nearly midnight when I finally fell asleep only to be awakened by the muffled sound of my sister's voice an hour later. Groggily, I stared at the wall that separated our rooms as I tried to catch my bearings. Pushing back the covers, I got up and shuffled my way to the wall that I laid my ear against in order to hear her better. She sounded like she was on the verge of crying.
"Why won't you listen to me Riku? Just… listen to me…"
"Why? What could you possibly have to say to me that I haven't already heard?" Riku's voice was hard and emotionless. I concluded that she must be talking to him on the phone and had him on speaker … unless he was actually in her room? Would she be so bold while dad slept right down the hall?
"Riku… I… I'm sorry… I'm so sorry…"
"Yeah? Look it's late Namine'. I have somewhere to be in the morning, so if you don't mind…"
"Riku! Don't go just yet! I… I…"
"What?" Silence.
"… I broke up with Sora."
"… Oh."
"Yeah. Turns out that he had the hots for my little sister the entire time we were going out. I… It hurt so bad…"
"Namine'…"
"Anyway… I… want to see you. Riku… I…"
"Don't… say it Namine'. Just don't." More silence.
"Why? Why won't you come to see me? I thought… that after this… we could finally be together." I heard a low chuckle erupt from Riku but it wasn't from humor. It was from spite.
"In case you haven't heard, I'm with someone else now."
"Ha! Riku you can't be serious! I mean… with Rikku? Come on! She's a kid! A damn child Riku!"
"Funny. She seems to know a lot more than you do for just being a kid as you say. She actually knows what she wants."
"The fuck does that mean? All she knows is that you're hot and you make her panties wet. There's nothing more between you two than that!"
"I'll have you know that not everyone gets into a relationship for sex Namine'. I really like her. Besides, we've had our chance. You wanted Sora remember?"
"… But… there is no Sora now! Now we can be together!"
"No, now you need me as a fucking rebound. Why don't you go to someone else because I'm not putting up with your bullshit anymore!"
"What? Too busy fucking with kids now Riku?"
"Shut the hell up! I'm not twisted like you are! It was a damn mistake, messing around with you. All you're good for is sex." I heard Namine' gulp heavily and her breathing picked up.
"Take… take that back… Take that back right now!"
"What? The truth can't be taken back. No matter how much it hurts."
"You… You bastard! You said you loved me! You said you loved me!! I… I thought that you loved me… But no… I'm… just… trash… I'm just a good lay…"
"Namine'… I… I didn't mean…"
"Shut the fuck up! Just shut-up!" I heard things being thrown inside the room and Namine' had started crying profusely.
"NAMINE'! Wait! You can't get mad at me! I wanted to be with you! I waited so long for you and now that I've finally realized we weren't gonna happen, you decide that you want me in your life because it's a convenience. You don't even care about me Namine'! You just need someone so you can feel wanted! Needed! And I can't give that to you because I don't want to be hurt again…" For a while the only sound I could hear was my sister crying and sniffling then in a shaking voice she whispered hoarsely, "So… that's it then… We… aren't going to happen…?"
"… No. We aren't. And I'm sorry about all this shit you're going through. But remember, you reap what you sow. That day… when you chose Sora that was the choice you made and now you have to deal with the consequences."
"… I… I can't… can't believe this. You… you really don't care… I… I…"
"Stop being so melodramatic. Shit… what did you expect? That I'd come running to you with opened arms? Fat chance. I learned my lesson once. And once is enough."
"… Ri…ku… I… I'm so… sorry… I… ne… never meant to hurt you… I… I… love you… so much… so much… But… if we can't be together… then… I have… no choice…"
"Namine'? What the hell are you talking about?"
"Good-bye Riku. You won't ever have to worry about me… again…"
"Huh? Namine'! Wait!" Before Riku could say another word Namine' hung up the phone. She was crying again and I couldn't stand it anymore. I opened the door that connected our rooms together and ran to my sister. She was balled up in a corner. The room was a mess. She had really done a number on the place. Namine' looked at me with swollen eyes and a sad smile.
"Kairi…" I got down on my knees and pulled her close. I held onto her tightly, trying to protect her from all the pain she was being dealt; trying to shield her vulnerability in that moment. She cried into my shoulder and I shushed her as I stroked her back soothingly as I fought back tears of my own.
How could he? Not after all that they'd been through. Not after he threatened to tell her when he found out what Sora and I were doing. Not after he told her that he loved her.
We stayed hugged up in the corner for what seemed like an eternity. The moon's faint silver glow had turned into the soft golden rays of the early morning sun that glistened through Namine's opened window and we were still in an embrace.
"… Am I lovable Kairi…?" Namine's voice seemed alien because we had been silent for so long. I rubbed my hand through her hair affectionately.
"Of course you are. I love you. Riku's just an ass wipe." Namine' laughed a little bit.
"Why can't you ever mind your own business Kairi?" I shrugged and smiled. There really was no explanation for my meddlesomeness. I justify my bad habits by saying that I'm just a nosy person. It sounds better than claiming that I'm a magnet for disaster. Sighing heavily, Namine' adjusted her position so she could look out the window better. I watched her and the mellow expression that she had on her face reminded me of a child. A lost child that was trying to find her place but was caught in a go-between like these early morning hours when the moon is setting and the sun is rising. There's no place for either of them to be in right now. But soon the sun will rise and will dominate the sky.
"Kairi… I've got to get away. If just for a little while… I've got to go…," she said slowly. I tightened my hold on her.
"Let me come with you…"
"No. I want to be by myself. Besides, it seems as though that's the way I always end up…"
"That's not true! You have me!" Namine' smiled and hugged me.
"Thank-you…"
"I'll always be here. I'll always be your sister."
"I know…" We broke apart and just stared at one another. Namine' smiled softly and then touched my cheek gently. Her hand was cold.
"Namine' please don't go. What if something happens to you?"
"I can handle myself. I ought to know a thing or two about that anyway… being that I'm such a glutton for punishment. I just really need this right now. I'll be back before the second semester of school starts up. Promise." Her mind was set. I couldn't change it. She stood and I noticed for the first time that she was fully dressed and a fully packed duffle bag sat a few feet away.
"You've been planning this?" I inquired. Namine' nodded.
"Originally, I wanted it to be a getaway with Riku. But that's not happening… Anyway, this is what you're going to tell dad. You're going to tell him that I'm interning at some modeling agency or something along those lines. Okay? After all, they never really asked what I planned to be doing this winter break so they should buy it. If not… it won't matter. Because I'll be long gone." Namine' grabbed her bag and shouldered it expertly. She grinned at me then gave me the peace sign.
"Catch ya later sis. Give my love to everyone else for me." I watched her go to the window and open it. Taking one last look at me she smiled then climbed down. I went to the window and watched her leave. After she managed to scale the house, she strutted confidently down the street. Everything was silent and the rising sun seemed to focus all it's radiance on my retreating sister because for a moment she seemed to be glowing brilliantly in the soft hues of the retiring dawn.