Disclaimer: I don't own MASH. If I did, it would've been even slashier than it already was, if that's humanly possible.

Challenge: Response to Lisa's ABC challenge: Write a fic for every letter of the alphabet.

A/N: K, Klinger. Guess whose POV? I have…3 letters completely planned out, and 6 with penciled-in characters. That only leaves…6 letters of total cluelessness. Yay! A short one…again. sigh

Random trivia: David Ogden Stiers voices Jumba in Lilo and Stitch, and all the sequels. (Can we say Disney sequelitis?)

Klinger

Okay, so dresses didn't work. Eating a jeep didn't work. Pretending I loved the army didn't work. I've given up on trying to get out. I still hate war, and the army, but I guess I just have to live with it.

I walk into the Mess Tent. "Hey Igor. What do we have today?"

"Well, we've got meat loaf," Igor offers. I look at the brown stuff suspiciously.

"Okay," I say finally. "It doesn't look lethal." I take my tray and sit with Colonel Potter, Father Mulcahy, Hawkeye and B.J.

"Someone should hold a protest against army food," Hawkeye is saying. He's holding up a slice of meatloaf on his fork. "I mean really, they expect us to eat something that looks like dried-up road kill and smells like…" he pauses to sniff it. "Month-old gym socks boiled in sewage."

Everyone else at the table groans and pushes their trays away.

"Aw, Hawk, do you have to do that?" B.J. complains.

Colonel Potter says something after that, but Hawkeye's given me an idea. What if I were to protest the war? That way, everyone who didn't get the message from my Section 8 attempts will know that I hate the war.

After dinner, I walk up to Hawkeye and B.J. as they head toward the Swamp. "Hey guys, I have an idea."

"Really?" B.J. says. "Hawkeye, Klinger has an idea."

"I was thinking…what if I had a protest against the war?"

Hawkeye's eyes light up. "Heey…that's not a bad idea, Klinger. Do it, I'll join you."

"Really?" I ask.

"Yeah. You in, Beej?"

"Why not?"

I grin and head back to my office. I need to figure out some stuff…like how to have a protest. But I will. Maybe Hawkeye and B.J. can get a lot of the camp to join in. A lot of people do what they say.

"This will be great."