Disclaimer: I don't own MASH. If I did, it would've been even slashier than it already was, if that's humanly possible.

Challenge: Response to Lisa's ABC challenge: Write a fic for every letter of the alphabet.

A/N: L, love. Hawk's POV. God, these boys wanted to have sex this chapter. Do you know how hard it was to not write it? I think I need to up my rating…

Random trivia: A hawk is an advocate of war, and I'm quoting directly from (a rather older) Webster's. Ironic.

Love

Beej and I stand and watch Klinger walk away for a minute before we almost simultaneously turn back toward the Swamp. "He has a good idea," B.J. comments.

"Yeah. It won't do much good, in the grand scheme of things, but it'll be entertaining to think it will. Besides, rebellion is always fun." I glance at B.J.'s moustache and add with a smirk, "Unless it's cheesy instead."

B.J. mock-glares at me. I grin and open the door to the Swamp, gesturing grandly for him to go in first. He does, after one last glare. I step in behind him and let the door bang shut.

B.J. picks up a pad of paper and a pen, then lays back on his cot. "Easy on the door, or the whole tent will collapse," he says while scribbling.

"Whatcha writing?" I ask, pouring myself a drink.

"Letter to Peg. I got a letter from her the day of Jacobs' second surgery, and I wanted to wait to write back until I was in a better mood," B.J. replies.

"Oh." I sit on my own bed and pick up a book off the floor and open to a random place in the middle. I've read this book so many times, it makes sense wherever I begin.

I've read about twenty pages when I sense B.J.'s eyes on me. I look up at him and ask with a grin, "Is there something you wanted?"

"I've finished my letter."

"All right."

"I went exploring yesterday."

"All ri--wait, by yourself?"

"Yes."

"Idiot."

"I found something you might like."

"Oh, really?"

"Yes. I think I should show you, 'cause there's no way I could explain that I found a lovely mine-free field surrounded by trees that's still within PA announcement hearing distance of the camp."

"Oh, really?" I put my book down and stand up. "Just what are you proposing, Beej?"

He grins mischievously and stands as well. "Whatever you want me to be proposing."

"Let's go."

I follow him out of the Swamp and to the end of camp opposite from Rosie's. He leads me about fifty yards away, to a line of trees. We push through them and come out in an open field, just as he's said.

"Are you sure there are no mines here?" I ask.

"Well, no. But I know there aren't any right here, here."

I shake my head. "Don't wander off by yourself again. What if you'd stepped on a mine?"

"I didn't, did I?" B.J. replies. "At least I found a place with semi-privacy."

"Mm, true. So, Beej…what shall we do with our privacy?"

He grins at me. His grin is slightly predatory. "I have an idea or two…" He steps closer to me, then grabs me by the shoulders and kisses me hard.

When the need for oxygen becomes too strong to ignore, I pull away from B.J. and gasp for breath. He grins at me again, then sinks to the ground, pulling me with him. I'm barely situated before he's kissing me again.

Now this is odd. I had assumed that he'd be a bit more hesitant, because of his devotion to Peg. Clearly not. I've been letting him dictate the pace, out of respect for his devotion, and it's been…fast. He was the one to suggest we act on our feelings, and he's been the one to initiate the more passionate kisses.

I'm distracted from my thoughts as B.J. slides a hand under the fabric of my T-shirt. Goosebumps rise in the wake of his moving hand, and I shiver. He smiles knowingly and starts tracing circles around my nipples.

I grab the back of his head and pull him in for yet another kiss. When this one ends, I murmur softly, "God, I love you."

His hand stills, and then he removes it from my shirt. "Hawkeye, I can't--you can't--don't."

"I'm sorry," I say, and mean it. There's only been one other person I've loved in my life, and that was Carlye. I didn't tell her, not so she believed me anyway, and I've always regretted that. I just wanted B.J. to know while I had the chance to tell him. Clearly though, B.J. doesn't want to know. I should have figured as much when he said he could only say it to Peg a few days ago.

"It's okay," he sighs. "Come on, we should get back."

"I'm sorry," I say again.

"I know, Hawkeye. I'm not mad. I…I need to think, is all. Okay?"

"Okay."

As we walk back to camp, both of us are quiet, lost in thought. I don't know what B.J.'s thinking about. I'm thinking about love and how unpredictable and intimidating it is.