Mardi Gras Misunderstanding
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Chapter Five
Matt managed to eat two bowls of the soup, a thick slice of bread and drink a glass of milk before saying he had had enough. When Kitty bent to remove the tray from his lap, he grabbed her wrist and held tight.
"You're coming back?"
Was it fear she detected in his voice? "'Course I'm coming back. I'm just taking the dishes into the kitchen...unless you'd rather hold them on your lap. I'm also going to make a pot of coffee. Feel like drinking some?"
If he said "yes," maybe she'd sit and drink some with him. "Coffee sounds good."
He reluctantly released her wrist, and she picked up the tray and moved out of the room, puzzled. What on earth is going on inside that handsome head, she wondered. Just now he acted as if I were going to disappear from this house and, earlier, he had said 'Kitty doesn't want.' Kitty doesn't want what?
Kitty carried two steaming cups of chicory laced coffee into the small guest bedroom. She handed one to Matt and settled herself into the chaise lounge, tucking her legs under her as if planning to stay a while.
"Feel like talking, Cowboy?"
His voice thick with resignation he said, "What's to talk about? I'll do whatever you and Chapman say I need to do. I'll get out of your house...and out of your life...as soon as possible. Just tell me one thing, Kitty. Why?"
"Why what?"
"Don't play coy, Kitty; it's not your style."
"You're right, Matt. I do owe you an explanation. But this is so hard, and I don't...don't know exactly how to start, but, okay, settle in...it's kind of a long story."
"I have plenty of time...at least two weeks according to my doctor." He spat out the last word as if it tasted bitter on his lips.
"What do you have against John? You seemed to be friends when he was in Dodge, but today you've acted as if he were the enemy. Let me tell you, he moved heaven and earth to get you the best medical treatment this city has to offer. He's been a good friend to both of us, Matt, even if you weren't in any condition to know it."
"Just a bit better friend to one of us than to the other," Matt muttered under his breath.
"What does that mean?"
"It means I saw you that night, Kitty...the night I was attacked. I saw you with him." His voice was flat and low. "It all came back to me when you mentioned his name earlier."
She stared, dumbfounded.
"I'd been in the city all day. I saw you in the morning at the market, in the afternoon on the waterfront and at night...in Chapman's arms. I saw your arms go around his neck. I saw him kiss you. I...I wasn't walking from the train that night, Kit, I was walking to it." Here the beloved voice faltered. "I was getting out of your life, once and for all. And I still will...just as soon as I'm able."
"Oh, Matt...no, no. You're so wrong. Yes, you did see me in his arms, you did see him kiss me. But you didn't hear what we were saying. It's true...he, he...tried. But I couldn't do it, Matt. I could never do that. I was telling him 'no' and I asked him to leave. Honest, that little scene you witnessed is as far as things have ever gone between John and me. He's been a wonderful friend, but that's all. Please believe me, Matt, please. There's no one but you." Here her own voice dropped. "Never has been since the day we met."
His anguished heart wanted so much to believe those words. Kitty didn't lie. Maybe...
"Perhaps I misunderstood."
"Oh, you did misunderstand, Matt, you surely did. But what were you doing following me around? Why didn't you let me know you were in the city?"
He looked embarrassed. "You know how you always say I have to do things my way...the hard way? Maybe you're right. I wanted to see you first, on your own territory, so to speak. I wanted to make certain you were, uh, unencumbered, before I made my presence known. I watched you all day from a safe distance. You seemed happy, carefree. I was going to knock on your door when you came home that night, but then you came home with him, and I..."
"...and you got all jealous and jumped to a lot of wrong conclusions. Oh, Matt, everything that happened that night could have been prevented if only..."
"It's over, Kitty. Forget about it."
She took a sip of the lukewarm coffee. "You nearly died, Matt. How am I supposed to forget that? I'm so sorry. I'm so very, very sorry."
"Not your fault, Kit. I'm the one who misunderstood what I saw. And I'm sorry I doubted you, but it sure looked...well, you know what it looked like to me."
Here his voice developed a slight edge. "That explains one night. Now perhaps you'd like to tell me why you ran away and why I haven't heard from you for nearly a year."
"I...I'll try to explain it to you, Matt, but it's not going to be easy."
Unexpectedly, he didn't want it to be easy for her. Some warped sense of justice inside of him suddenly flared to the surface and demanded that she suffer, too, wanted her to hurt as he had been hurt.
"I'm listening," was all he said.