Esmeralda, the Ear'Quessir.
Author's Note: So my life has been pretty hectic of late, so please, forgive my absence! Anywhoo...I've been really tired lately, and I'm trying to get this chapter in before I head out to ATL later tonight. Hectic, I know. Anyway, here you go! I hope you enjoy!
Reviews:
bubblymuggle4: Ahaha, that's funny. That has happened to me as well, only mine wasn't as good of a surprise as yours...mine was my coach fuming about missing practice! Aha, anyway, thanks for the review!
Hallows07: Thanks again for the review, and I guess for liking my brain? Aha.
Frathworth and Butts: Thanks for telling me about the misspelling, my spell check is retarded and I must not have been paying any attention when I changed it!
Chapter 13: You bug eyed freak! Eek!
"OH shit, this can't be good." Legolas whispered looking at the door standing wide open.
"You could say that again." I was running around trying to find some subtle place to jump into the fray from when I heard his frightened squeak. Yup believe it, the famed Legolas, Prince of Mirkwood, is a squeaker. Who'd a thunk it?
"Oh shit, this can't be good." Can we say sweat drop?
"I didn't mean, actually repeat what you just said." I exasperatedly thumped him on the back for being dumb. Poor kid, no learning what so ever.
"Then why did you say it?"
"Drop it please." Just then Boromir flung his head back into the room, closely followed by something moving incredibly fast. Oh it was an arrow. I knew that. Too bad it missed it's target.
"They have a cave troll." he said looking flustered. The men hoped to it, and started boarding up the flimsy piece of wood that was holding the place of where a real door should have been. Now when I say men, I meant Boromir, Aragorn and Legolas of course, not the hobbits, or heaven forbid, Gandalf lift a finger. He was still holding on to his hat and staff.., like they were gonna run away or something. Geez. What a loser. Did I mention Gimli was standing on the tomb flaying his axe around like it was a leaf. Well, he was screaming like a lunatic as well. I don't know who to be more scared of, the Goblins coming, or the Dwarf I'm locked in here with. I think it's the second. I wonder if they'll notice if I start inching away form him?
"Does the dwarf scare you Esme? I would never have known." Look at him, with that perfect blonde hair and that adorable smir- Stop. Not going any further. He must be invading my brain making me think such preposterous thoughts as those.
"No, whatever gave you that impression Leggy my friend?" I chuckled at his visible flinch.
"Could the two of you stop flirting long enough to help us get out of this hell hole!?!?!" I think I just got a shower from all of Aragorn's spit. Needless to say, Legolas jumped into his ready stance, even though I do notice his cheeks are a little rosier. I know mine look like friggin blood right now. My face feels like it's on fire. Stupid blood rushing to my face. Arg. Luckily, I didn't have time to worry about that seeing as the piece of drift wood just collapsed after an intense beating. Really now, all they had to do was poke and it would've fallen over, no need to mangle the thing. Did I tell you these things were ugly? Well, I will now...THEY'RE HIDEOUS! They look like the belong in some rock infested, dark dreary, stony, place that I would never be caught in. You know what, just ignore everything I just said. Seriously, all of it. Except the ugly part, that's true. All the way.
"ESME! WAKE UP!! THEY'RE GOING AFTER THE HOBBITS!" Oops, I really need to stop doing that! I ran over to where Sam was being pinned between the wall, and the troll. Urg, who should I save, the troll from having Sam stuck on his mallet, or Sam, from total annihilation? 'ESME! GET SAM OUT OF THERE! NOW!" Eru Legolas can be loud. But I guess that solves my dilemma. I slid in-between the horrid beasts legs, catching a glimpse of something I really wish I hadn't, and stopped short of Sam. He looked like he was going to pee himself, or that he already had.
"Hey fatboy! MOVE IT OR LOSE IT! Seriously." I yelled jumping up hoping to distract the troll long enough for Sam to make a run for it. Only problem, Sam didn't move. I started running towards him only to be tripped by the Trolls leash, chain thing. I got up, dusted off my tunic, and turned to face the troll with my hands on my hips. No one, I mean NO ONE, trips me when I'm being heroic, I mean that. "Now look here you ugly little beastie, I hate you as much as you hate me. But let's get one thing straight, you're causing more problems then I need right now. I've been traveling for the past Eru knows how long with a bunch of dirty, stinky smelly, men/ hobbits/dwarves/wizards, and it has been hell. They've led me up some damn mountain where I practically froze my ass off and was almost killed be an avalanche, or total mortification, back down the mountain, down into some stinky pit, and then underground. Do you realize what I am? An elf. A female at that one. Which means, I HATE BEING UNDERGROUND AND I HATE BEING SURROUNDED BY MEN/HOBBITS/ELVES/DWARVES/ AND OR WIZARDS AT ALL TIME WITH NO PRIVACY EVEN IF THE ELF IN QUESTION IS HANDSOME!" By now, I had everyone's attention, including the Fellowship, and the Goblins. Shame I didn't stop when I was already mortified." Now, if you could just kindly walk you clunky ass back out of that door, down back to were ever you came from I would be so happy that I just might leave you're dumb, rotting, stinky hole that you live in. You can even keep the little skeletons free of charge. Now budge off bulky, and get to walking!" by the time my rant was over, I was breathing hard, Legolas was blushing a deep red, Aragorn and Boromir had cracked a rib from laughing, the hobbits were huddling together scared for their lives, Gandalf was shaking his head at me, and the Goblins were looking between each other and me. Too bad no one listens to females when they're angry, the Goblins just smirked an charged. Unfortunately, it wasn't the time of the month to be messing with me, seriously. I gave a war cry and jumped into the fray, accidentally poking two goblins in the eyes with me shoes, an accident, I swear. I was whirling around a hundred miles per minute, until I heard the fat troll beast hit the dust. Who ever killed him was dead, that was gonna be my job. I spun around looking accusingly only to spot mister perfect pulling his swords out of the beast's head. I stalked over to him and was about to tell him off, when the sodding elf just ran right. "Excuse me Legolas, I hadn't even started on you!
He just ignored me, so I guess I'll go find out was going on over there. OH. It's just Frodo being dramatic, how nice.
"We must leave now." shouted Aragorn pulling his sword back out, casting me an amused look before racing to the door. Now what was that look for? I turned to Legolas to ask him, but he just blushed and followed after Aragorn. Bunch of weird old males. I leapt up and followed after them hoping to leave this hell hole soon, and in one piece.
We had reached the hall and were still running, until we were surrounded by a swarm of Goblins, while more were stilling crawling like ants from the ceilings and pillars. If I didn't know any better, I'd say we were into eh middle of some huge ant hill. Good thing I know better right.
This one ugly little beast, with big bug eyes and nasty teeth, was staring perversely at me, grossing me out for real.
"Looks like you have an admirer Esme." gloated Legolas before I whacked him in the back of the knee with the flat side of my sword.
"Hey you buster, with the eyes. Keep ogling at me, and you won't have those eyes anymore, comprendes?" I shouted brandishing my sword menacingly. Suddenly the swarm started looking around and then scampered off like a bunch of sissies they were. "Aha! Scared you didn't I?" unfortunately my cry was covered by a growling noise from the depths.
"What is this new devilry?" asked Boromir looking to the ceiling like it was going to give him the answers. Ha as if.
"A Balrog. This foe is beyond any of you. Run!" replied Gandalf before pelting towards the bridge. We followed trying to keep his pace, hoping to make it out of this. I quickly raced to the front hoping to catch Gandlaf to explain what a Balrog was.
"Esme, do not bother him right now!" Legolas said pulling my tunic to slow my pace. What am I transparent or something? How did he know I was going to do that? I sat him a questioning look hoping to convey me curiosity, good thing he's a mind reader. " It was written in your eyes." Or not so much.
"You could never be a poet."
"Thanks, I'll keep that in mind."
"No problem."
"Glad you two could have a pleasant conversation while we're running for our lives. Wouldn't want you two to be concerned or anything." snarled Aragorn threw gritted teeth. Sheesh, someone needs a time out. I looked at Legolas and shrugged.
We continued to run until we reached the landing, only to have some of our members almost fall to the depths, Boromir included, shame Legolas appeared to catch him. Is it me, or does death keep evading Boromir? Maybe he did a deal with the reaper or something? I'll have to ask him at some point.
"Lead them on Aragorn. The bridge is near. Do as I say! Swords are of no more use here." Gandalf turned to slow down I almost stopped with him. If Legolas hadn't jerked my shoulder out of socket so I would keep going. He easily leaped over the hole in the stair case, did I mention he still had my hand? Well, he did.
'YOU LITTLE DUNCE! YOU COULD HAVE DROPPED ME! YOU KNOW THAT? WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?!?!" I shouted punching him in the chest with every insult.
"Yes, but I didn't did I?" he said rubbing his chest where, I'm sure there is a bruise.
"But there was still that chance!"
"HELLO! Can you two maybe continue this lover's spat, say, AFTER WE SURVIVE?" shouted Aragorn glaring at us. I gave him a sheepish smile and nod, while Legolas called for people to jump. If that stupid Elf wasn't so cut-, I mean cocky, he wouldn't be so at-, I meant atrocious, and I wouldn't have to l-, oh forget it. We had gotten everyone over, except for Frodo and Aragorn, when things got worse. A bunch of rocks had fallen on the other side of them and broken the stairs they were standing on, off of a sturdy landing, meaning, they were hanging by the smallest thread to the pillar. I think Frodo is cursed with bad luck, I mean honestly, the troll and now this shit? What gives? Aragorn slowly coached him through swaying before their chariot arrived. I meant the stair slammed into ours. We started to race off again, hearing the Balrog get closer and closer.
After what seemed like forever, we finally reached the bridge, which was more like a branch between two cliffs, over a humongous chasm. Great. Just Great. I closed my eyes while running, hoping not to fall, when I felt someone's hand clasp my own, pulling me into the middle so I wouldn't. I opened my eyes a smidge to see Legolas smile back at me before continuing to run. He needs to stop being nice to me before I start liking him more. Er. I didn't say that. Ever. As soon as we reached the side I turned to see Gandalf kinda hanging out in the middle of the branch, bridge. Now, I understand he's some sort of wizard, but honestly, what's he think he can do against something a sword can't hurt?
"Um, should someone go get him?" I asked glancing at Aragorn who was staring at Gandalf as well. Then the Balrog appeared. It looked like a flaming bat/ram with a really, really, bad third degree burn. I mean, not even all atheles in the world could help that burn.
"You cannot pass." Gandalf shouted at the thing planting his staff firmly on the bridge. In turn, the Balrog just brandished a whip made of fire. Well, he has some strange fantasies. Erm, anyway. "I am the servant of the secret fire, wielder of the flame of anor, the dark fire will not avail you flame of udun! Go back to the shadow! YOU SHALL NOT PASS!"! The bridge broke and the thing fell with it. Now honestly, he wasn't as big and bad as Gandalf said.
"GANDALF!" I turned to see why Frodo shrieked like that, to see Gandalf being pulled to the edge by the monster's whip.
I started to run forward only to be jerked backward by someone's hold on my hand. I look down and realized I was still holding Legolas' hand. Strange. I dropped his hand and was about to continue when he threw me over his shoulder and started to run out. But I didn't go quietly. I know his ears are going to be throbbing for weeks. Just like my throat.
Legolas continued to carry me out of the mines, which is a good thing, because I don't know if I could have made it myself. I mean, I know me and Gandalf weren't the best of pals, but, he was like a Granddad to me. A really distant granddad, but one all the same. Legolas placed me on the wet ground out side. I just sat there, and cried. He sat there with me, hugging me, whispering comfortingly into my ears. Secretly, my heart was rejocing, even through my sorrow. Oh Eru, how could this have happened?
Author's Note: SOOOOOO?Que Pasa? Reviews por favor!!!