Esmeralda, the Ear' Quessir.
Author's Note: So, I've had a busy week, and this week is going to be even more hectic, so I'm going to go ahead and update now, but you might catch another later this week, we shall see. Anyhooo...you know the deal. Hope you had a good Thanksgiving!
Reviews:
bubblymuggle4: That was my favortie part. I could just visualize a vein in his forehead ticking while he was impatiently waiting for her to shut up. Ah, at times his facial expressions can crack me up. SO there was my inspiration.
Hikitsulover-818:Thanks!
Hallows07: Excellente! Thanks.
Chapter 15: On the road again!
We'd been in Lothlorien for at least three weeks when Galadrial finally decided it was time to kick us out. Well, she wasn't that mean about it. during our stay, Frodo got freaked about by some pitcher of water she showed him, Sam became even more protective, Merry and Pippin became restless, Legolas, was as stoic as usual. As for me, I couldn't wait until it was time to leave. Which it is now, thank Eru. Anyway, now we're standing on this goose shaped ship of The Lady's eating a lunch before we leave. Lord Celebron is kinda staring off into space, what a wierdo.
"I have brought in my ship, gifts which the Lord and Lady of Galadhrim now offer you in memory of Lothlorien." said Lady Galadrial rising from her seat. Must mean we're getting off this freaky moving bird. It has nothing my ship, except making me wish I was there even more now.
She gave Aragorn some self cleaning sheath, not like he even cares, he just hacks and hacks away, doesn't ever clean his blade anyway. Then she said something about already giving him the best gift ever, whatever that is, playing favorites. she gave Boromir some gold belt thing, and toe Merry and Pippin she gave daggers that looked like butter knifes. The Sam got rope, complained about it, finally took it, to Legolas she gave a bow, and then Frodo she gave "Light-In-a-Bottle". Smashing eh? But then Gimli, the poor, stupid dwarf, asked for her hair. Her hair. He asked for Galadrial's blonde ass hair. To put in stone of something, can we say STALKER!!!! I got a necklace, with a beautiful blue stone, that reminded me of the ocean. But nothing helpful, just jewelry, including the brooch we all got. Stingy old hag. Opps, I think she heard me, think that anyway. I love you! Not working, still glaring oh well, we're off now!
"Esme, could you stop rocking the boat?" groaned Gimli for what seemed like the thousandth time. Yes, I had the luck of being stuck with a pompous elf, who is all 'paddle paddle paddle all day long' and the with the stupid moody dwarf who's complaining about seasickness, when we aren't even on the ocean. Although it could be because I've been rocking the boat for the past hour, to mine and Legolas' entertainment. "If you keep it up, I think I might hurl."
"How, lovely of you to tell us that Gimli, ol' chap. Too bad none seem to care." I said, starting to rock the boat even harder, only I didn't know Legolas decided to do the same. The end result...the three of us in the water with the boat overturned. I almost drowned I was laughing so hard. Until Aragorn started moaning and yelling about insolent Elves, which we could hardly hear over Gimli's gurgles, and the other's laughter.
"You know, if you were any louder, I'd think you were a dwarf." snarled Aragorn paddling furiously towards our overturned boat. He righted the thing and pointed menacingly at me, and then at the boat. "Get it, stay in. Or else." He left with out another word. Me and Legolas shared a look, Gimli just tried to lift his body into the boat, which didn't work.
"Let me help you Gimli." Legolas started to move towards Gimli.
"NO! I DON'T NEED ANY STUPID ELF TO HELP! STAY AWAY!'
"Alright Grumpy, no need to blow a blood vessel. Who wanted to help you anyway?" I Jumped into the boat and sat looking at him, man it was funny watching the dwarf struggle. Legolas finally took pity on him, plugged his ears, and jerked him into the boat. By that time, we were way behind the others. 'Ay, look what you did! We lost them for sure now!'
"No, we're only a few leagues behind, if we hurry we might get to them before dark." Legolas jumped to it.
He was right, by dusk we had reached the other boats. To much sniggering from the hobbits, until I threatened them with dismemberment.
"Esme, why are you always doing that to them?" questioned Aragorn watching the little snots scampering away.
"Why do they have to be so annoying? Plus, you'd be in a bad mood too if you had to ride all day in a boat with a dwarf who never stops complaining. Ever." I smiled sarcastically at Aragorn, while glaring daggers at said dwarf's head. He was drooling all over the person he was leaning against, who happened to be Legolas. Whose face was priceless, enough to make even Aragorn guffaw.
"What. Do. You. Find. So. Funny??????" whispered Legolas, with enough venom to make me, of all people, shut up.
"Nothing, Legolas sir, we meant no harm!" I'm giving my best impersonation of a hobbit, and you know what he does to me? The stupid elf knocks me backwards over a log. "Now wait a minute!" The loser sprints off, dropping slumbering Gimli on a rock, and the dwarf sleeps right through it. I glance at Aragorn who's staring at Gimli like he was an unknown specimen. Almost made me forget about chasing after Legolas. I followed at a leisurely pace, meaning, I sprinted as fast as I could, while trying not to trip over stones and branches laying around. I bet I looked like an idiot. "Oh Leoglas?! Oh LEGO-OOMPH." Oh, lovely, someone's rock hard abs.
"Are you go-"
"Say it. And die." I jerked myself away, straightened my tunic, and began to rain upon Legolas, a mighty storm of slapping. On the arms anyway. "What-smack-were-slap-punch-you-kick-pinch-thinking-poke?" Want to know what he did? Laugh. The dumb blonde elf sat there, and laughed. So I kicked his knees out from under him, result. He was covered with mud and leaves. Yes, famed Legolas Thrandulion, was, I dare not say it...Dirty. I'll keep my balance with this tree, while I cry from laughing.
"This isn't that funny you know." He said crossing his arms and glaring at me. But all I saw was the mud dripping off his cheek nose. Here comes another fit. 'Honestly. You act as if you've never seen me dirty."
"That's, ahaha, because, whoooooooo, I haven't. EHEHEHEH." Snicker. Man, I wish I could capture this moment, and keep it forever, the cleanest elf on earth, dripping with mud. Priceless. Until he got this mischievous glint in his eye, and his mouth started to curl into that gorgeous smirk. Oh shit. I'm screwed. "AHHHHHH HOLY SHIT! NO!!!!" I started running back to camp, and made it there, before he finally caught me. But that didn't stop him from tackling me.
"Revenge, truly is sweet." He placed his arms on either side of my head, and placed a sloppy, wet, muddy kiss on my forehead, before lithely standing and heading towards the river to clean off. Under normal circumstances, I'd be performing a victory dance because he kissed my forehead, but as for now, I just wanted to ball up some mud, and shove down his pointy ass ear.
"We leave in the morning."
"Just go ahead and laugh Aragorn, just stop trying to conceal it." I could hear the laughter he was trying to keep a bay, but as soon as I gave permission, he bent forward and placed hi hands on his knees to help support his raucous laughter. I just shoved him over and went to find my own spot to clean off.
When I returned from my lovely bath. Did I say lovely? I meant trying, difficult, had to fight with a squirrel to get my clothes back, terrible bath, Sam had already made food and everyone was settling down to eat. How they can stand his concoctions I'll never know. Legolas sent me a smile, and patted the spot on the ground next to him. I sent him a smile, grabbed a plate, and flopped down next to Aragorn. Who sent me a funny look, so I left and ended up sitting next to Gimli. Well, I'll give you some advice, bring a rain cloak. He spills enough food/drink to end a drought. I came out of dinner wetter than before.
"GIMLI!" I yanked his plate out of his hands, almost losing a finger in the process, and threw it over my head.
'What elf? What did you do with me dinner?"
"Could you at least TRY to act civilized and NOT RAIN FOOD ON THOSE AROUND YOU while you eat? My crew mates have more manners than you!" I stood and stomped over to Legolas and plopped down next to him. Gimli continued to glare in my direction for a few minutes before going to get a new plate. Legolas just shook from contained laughter. I could hear the hobbits, Aragorn and Boromir snorting into their food and I really didn't care. Honestly. No matter how loud and undignified it sounded
"Here let me help, you have a piece of bacon, aha, in your hair." Legolas reached to grab it, I just smacked his hand away.
'Thanks, but no thanks buster." He snickered once more before changing the subject. Thank Eru.
After a rather uneventful night, we packed up the boats and set off again. praying there would be no more mishaps today, unlike yesterday. Boy how unlucky we were.
Halfway through the day, Gimli's axe slipped and he ended up making a hole in our boat. Me and Legolas couldn't figure out what to do, until I decided to plug the hole with Gimli's beard. He unfortunately didn't like that idea. And tried to come free, but being as crafty as I am, I managed to get it stuck, and he couldn't remove it. Which leads to where we are now, me and Legolas can barely contain our laughter while Gimli is screeching about being stuck in a whole. Magnificent. Aragorn, just shook his head and continued to row. Then we passed the big ass statues of old men, and everyone fell into a silence or reverence, except me of course.
"Gimli, how's you're neck holding up?" I prodded him in the back of the head when he didn't answer. He was asleep. "Legolas, do you understand how he could fall asleep like that?" His neck was under his right leg, his left arm was hanging over the side, he had his back in a weird angle, and his left finger was up Legolas' nostril.
"I presume you think this is funny do you?' Legolas snapped, guess he heard my snort.
"oh no, I...had a fly up my nose! Duh. That's what that was." Snicker. 'What the hell was that for?" I whipped around to see Legolas raising his eyebrow at me, AFTER slapping me in the back of the head.
"What in the world are you talking about Esme?" he merely shrugged and continued to row.
"We stop here!" Aragorn started paddling to the shore. The hobbits bounded out, but the island didn't feel right to me.
"We cross the lake at nightfall hide the boats and continue on foot. We approach Mordor from the north." I heard Aragorn say when our boat finally reached land. Me and Legolas decided to let Gimli lay for a little longer.
" Oh yes. Just a simple matter of passing the Emyn Muil, an impassable labyrinth of razor sharp rocks and after that it gets even better stinking marshlands far as the eye can see." Never mind then. The dwarf is awake.
"Yes, so go to bed old man." I shoved him sideways and he fell off the log he was sitting on. Man, talk about nnooooooooooo balance. "Any one seen where Legolas went off to?"
"Amin sinome." (I'm here.)
"ACK! You scared me!" I spun around to give him a look, to see him staring off in the distance. Intensely I might add. "Lle tyava quel?" (Do you feel well?) I stepped towards him when he turned towards me, his face stricken with worry. Guess that's a no then. "Mani naa ta?" (What is it?) He shook his head and walked by me towards Aragorn. The little snot, just who does he think he is? Beside a handsome price? Gah! Where did that come from! Two days without it, and now it's back. Sheesh.
"We should leave now." He whispered, hoping the hobbits wouldn't hear the plea in his voice.
"No, orcs patrol the eastern borders, we must wait for cover of darkness." Was the reply he got from the ranger.
"It is not the eastern shore that worries me a shadow and a threat has been growing in my mind something draws near. I can feel it."
"Me too Aragorn."
"Where's Frodo?" Merry had to pipe up into such an important conversation with such trivial information. I should pummel him. Wonder why Aragorn's looking at where, Boromir's, shield, is alone. OH SHIT! Boromir's with FRODO! We all jumped up to go search. Me and Legolas were sent together. The hobbits were to stay back and Aragorn went with Gimli. But he was too slow, so he tried to keep up with us.
"Damn that man and his stupid fascination with a ring. It's a little womanly for him don't you think." I practically shouted in frustration. Legolas just gave me ' You know why he wants it look'. Which frustrated me more.
"Wait. Do you hear that?" Legolas practically closed line me when he whipped his arm out to stop us, he did get Gimli though. Oh the fun we have.
"What...oh! Boromir's Horn!" I turned around and sprinted in what I hoped was the right direction. I could hear Gimli tearing down the forest as he followed. We ran for latest ten minutes before we finally came to clearing, in time to see Aragorn come hurtling into the fray. I whipped out my swords, an prepared to take the plunge when I heard Merry and Pippin screaming to the side. They had been captured by the Urak-hai. I headed towards them only to get close lined by some smelly hairy arm. It was enough to make me gag.
"Blech! Man! Get a shower!" I snapped pulling his nasty arm hairs off my face. 'You smell worse than the cabin after a bout of scurvy's gone through. Sheesh." The brainless thing just stared at me, so I ran him through with my blade. I tried to reach them quickly but more of those nasty beasties kept me from them, and I ended up losing them. I turned to tell them we must hurry after, but what I saw, brought tears to my eyes. And I never cry. Ever.
"They have the little ones?" Boromir whispered, the blood seeping down his lip. I nodded my head, not know what to say. He closed his eyes tightly and refocused them no Aragorn.
"Be still" said Aragorn reaching to take the arrows out of Boromir's chest and side.
"Frodo where is Frodo?" he asked, slapping Aragorn's hand away. Still feisty, even on his death bed. Didn't say that.
"I let him go." Replied Aragorn giving Bormir a very frustrated look.
"Then you did what I could not. I tried to take the ring from him."
"The ring is gone now." I replied, having seen Frodo run back to camp when I was chasing after Merry and Pippin. Sure, they drove me crazy at times, but I still loved them. But they never know that.
"Forgive me I did not see, I have failed you all." Boromir said glancing between me, Legolas and Gimli before turning back to Aragorn.
"No you fought bravely, you have kept your honor." Aragorn once again starting to reach for the arrows.
"Leave it, it is over. The race of men will fall and my city to ruin." He smacked his hand away again. I have a feeling that if Boromir weren't mortally wounded, Aragorn might just smack him back.
"I do not what strength is in my blood but I swear to you I will not let the white city fall, nor our people fail." Aragorn replied slowly blinking as to keep his temper at bay.
"Our people...our people. I would have followed you my brother, my captain, my king." Boromir gave a faint smile before coughing, and finally resting his head one last time.
"Be at peace, Son of Gondor." Aragorn gave him a kiss on the forehead, and wiped the tears that I didn't even know were falling from my face, then wrapped me in a hug for who knows how long.
"Hurry Frodo and Sam have reached the eastern shore. " Legolas said removing things from the boats once we returned to the camp, after placing Boromir's body in a boat, and letting it drift down towers the rapids. He stared at Aragorn, who made to indication whether he had heard or not. "You mean not to follow them?"
"Frodo's fate is no longer in our hands." Aragorn clasped Boromir's arm bands around his own.
"Then it has all been in vain. The fellowship has failed." Gimli grumbled once he finally caught up with us. Ahaha, loser.
"No it hasn't stupid." I shut up once I received a glare form Aragorn.
"Not if we hold true to each other. We will not abandon Merry and Pippin to torment and death not while we have strength left" Aragorn slammed a dagger into his boot, and continued to walk around the camp gathering supplies. "Leave all that can be spared behind. WE HUNT SOME ORC!"
Gimli: YAY WOO-HOO!
Legolas: Sadistic grin.
Esme: Frightened/confused sweat drop.
"ERU! The male species and their fighting fix!"
Authors:Wow, it's been a while. Hope you like it! Reviews por favor! Happy Late Turkey Day!