A/N: - Hey Guys. Sorry it took me so long to update, works been really crazy and I've hardly had time to write. I know this chapter's kind of long but bear with me, I had to get through the party. My reviewers will recognise the start of the chapter from the teaser I sent you's. I originally intended for it to be the ending but because I was having so much trouble getting started, my friend suggested I use it as the beginning and go from there. So blame her if you don't like it... JOKES (luv u Sarah)

ANYWAYZ, as always thanx to all the people who took the time to read my last chapter and xtra hugs and kisses to those that left a review, hope you liked your teaser.

SO Flo M Nimo, ZemISHly, cutieme012, Estelle Tiniwiel, fan de remus, Uma-Thurman, heyyodude, ivonne910, Copperboombaby8, CrystalClearElphaba444, Irish-Chick13, ombrerose92, EragonandArya and mishchef maker - here's to ya!!!!!

I slammed the door of the pantry shut and leant my head against the inner shelves, breathing deeply in a desperate attempt to keep the tears at bay. I was fine, really I was. My pride was bruised and I was a little humiliated but I was fine. Or at least I was going to be if I could just stop myself from having a complete breakdown in the pantry cupboard.

All I had to do was keep breathing – in and out.

When I finally had my emotions under control, I was left feeling ashamed and really stupid. How could I have gotten it so wrong?

But just because the party didn't turn out like I wanted it to, doesn't mean it had to be a complete disaster. I could salvage this, all I had to do was put a smile on my face, walk out there and pretend that I wasn't shattered by what I'd seen, or more importantly, that I wasn't completely mortified by what had been revealed to certain people.

I morphed my face to hide my blotchy eyes and pasted on a fake smile but before I was completely ready brave the party again, I heard the door open and someone walked into the pantry, closing the door behind them. I didn't have to turn around to know that the person who'd just walked in was the same one I'd come in here to avoid. My breath hitched in my throat as I felt the heat from his presence emanate onto my bare back, reminding me that this was a very small cupboard. My skin tingled a little as he lightly ran his hand up my arm to my shoulder, feeling for me in the dark space.

"Are you avoiding me, Nymphadora?"

Because of our close quarters, his question blew seductively against my ear and I shivered for a moment, losing myself in how good it felt, before I answered him.

"Don't call me Nymphadora, Remus."

I intended to spin on my heel to face him and give him a cold glare at his use of my dreaded first name. Instead I stumbled a little as I turned too quickly and had to grab onto his shirt to steady myself, his hands instinctively going to my waist. When I was sure I wasn't going to fall I relaxed my grip and just let my hands rest on his chest, his hands lightly slid down to rest on my hips but they never left my body. I slowly looked up at him. How could I have been so wrong, when this felt sooo right?

How could a night so full of promise turn out this way? As usual, I blamed Sirius.

xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX Earlier in the Night xXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXx

Dark blue jeans with a light cream top and honey brown hair or a knee length white sundress with pink ribbon belt and bright pink shoulder length hair.

Eugh, there was only 30 minutes left before I was a lot more than fashionably late to the party at Grimmauld place and I still hadn't decided on what I was going to wear. On one hand it was a party and I was trying to impress Remus so obviously I wanted to wear something stunning but on the other, it was most likely to be a casual affair and I didn't want to overdress and look like a moron.

My hands were sweating profusely, a swarm of butterflies had taken up permanent residence in my stomach and despite the fact that I'd woken up this morning feeling well rested, mostly due to the fact that I didn't toss and turn all night pondering Remus' crush, I now felt tired and drawn. I'd had shocking day at work, FYI - watching a cafe for 8 hours straight whilst waiting for a fugitive I knew wasn't going to show up (since he was probably still asleep at Grimmauld Place) doesn't exactly inspire a party attitude, but the one thing that kept me going all day was the same thing that was making me so nervous now.

This morning I woke up refreshed and revived, and excited about the possibility of encountering Remus now that I knew he fancied me. But whilst I didn't get to have breakfast with Remus like I'd hoped, I did get to have a rather informative conversation with my fugitive cousin over coffee. Sirius told me that after I went to bed last night he spent a great deal of time convincing Remus to act on his feelings at the party tonight, which is why I now faced a dilemma. Tonight had to go well, I needed tonight to go well, and in order to achieve that every decision I made had to be perfect.

Which is why when I should have been applying the finishing touches to my makeup, I was standing in my bedroom wrapped in a towel, staring at the clothes on my bed, trying desperately to make the perfect choice. This was ridiculous. It wasn't a hard decision, I just had to think rationally.

On one hand I had my dark wash, skinny leg, dirty denim jeans which made my ass look fantastic, but on the hand, the sundress showed off my legs and made me look a lot more feminine. The light cream top hung loose in the front but dipped low at the back, exposing a lot of skin just begging to be touched, however the satin pink belt on the dress tied tight to accentuate my bust. Making the decision that much harder was the fact that I had no idea what Remus liked. Was he an ass man or a boob guy? Would he prefer me to expose the skin on my legs or somewhere more sensuous like my back?

Rationally speaking, I was screwed.

In the end I decided on the jeans combo and, despite my better judgement, my knee-length brown suede boots with a tiny heel. Ok, the heel wasn't that tiny but I was trying to pull off sexy. So after casting a few failsafe stability charms, and sending a quick plea to Merlin not to let me fall, I morphed my hair to light honey-brown locks, which lightly curled and fell just below my shoulders. Once I was satisfied with my look, I threw on my cloak and apparated to Grimmauld place, thankfully only a tad late.

My stability charms must have been working because I only stumbled a little when I arrived at my destination. After I pushed the doorbell, Mrs Blacks morbid wails of protest filtered through the thick wooden door, and I smiled guiltily as a stern Sirius appeared in the entryway after silencing his mother.

"Geez Tonks, did you have to push the damn..., " Sirius's dropped his tirade and his jaw fell slack as I took off my cloak, "Damn, Moony's gonna have heart failure when he see's you in that."

I took it as a compliment as I followed Sirius towards the dining hall where the party was, careful to completely avoid the damn umbrella stand.

"He's not here yet, by the way. But, uh, Charlie Weasley is and, uh, he's been askin bout you."

As I stepped into the dining hall, I barely had time to comprehend what Sirius had said before I was engulfed in a hug by the very man in question. Charlie and I went to school together, and were quite good friends, but I hadn't seen him in a while so I hugged him back with equal enthusiasm. As Charlie pulled away from the hug, his gaze left my face and travelled down my body, pausing in all the places that indicated he wasn't just checking out an old friend.

"Wow, Tonks, it's so good to see you. You look...wow."

He had this goofy lopsided grin on his face and I couldn't help but smile back at him, even if his gaze had slipped from my face again and was ogling my body as he said 'wow'. In a way I was glad, at least now I knew I'd made the right outfit choice, even if I was getting some unwanted attention.

"It's really good to see you too, Charlie. I haven't seen you since our last day at Hogwarts."

My words seemed to have pulled Charlie from his trance because he stared up at me with a sheepish grin on his face.

"Yeah, it's been a while. I can't believe how much you've changed."

He said this as he began eyeing my body again which was starting to get weird. Sure Charlie and I were friends at school but he'd never paid me this much attention back then, even though I wanted him to. I mean I know that Hogwarts uniforms leave a lot to the imagination but surely he realised that I was a girl underneath it, curves and all. This was just a little too surreal. When I wanted Charlie to notice me he treated me like one of the guys, now when I didn't want him to, he couldn't stop checking me out. I must've had a sceptical expression on my face because Charlie tried to recover.

"I mean, you must have combated that clumsy streak seeing how you're an Auror and all. Plus you're wearing heels, never thought I'd see the day when you'd be able to walk in heels without falling."

Ok, if he had noticed the type of shoes I was wearing he was either gay or interested in me, and judging by the fact that he was practically undressing me with his eyes, I was more inclined to agree with the latter. I had to head this off before he thought I was interested.

"Yeah, well, clumsy streaks not gone completely. I still have my moments. Almost failed Stealth and Tracking and it's taking some extreme stability charms to keep me upright tonight. But I hear you're living in Romania now, studying dragons. That's what you always wanted right?"

Great idea Tonks, change the subject to him, that'll show you're not interested.

"Yeah, just over there living the dream..."

I tuned out as Charlie droned on and on about himself. It's not that I wasn't interested in catching up with an old friend, I was just more excited about catching up with Remus. As Charlie continued to talk animatedly about some stunt he pulled with a Horntail, I glanced across the room and my heart plummeted into my stomach as I saw Remus enter looking gorgeous as ever in his dark brown slacks and navy shirt, his hair looking rumpled but oh so good, but there was a slight problem. What was that blonde-haired bimbo doing on his arm?

Ok, she wasn't a bimbo. Her name was Amanda, no Alisha, no erm; anyways she worked for Fudge, sometimes attending the meetings when Dumbledore needed an extra inside ear at the ministry. I had to morph to keep my face from flushing as everything clicked into place. How could I have been so stupid? Of course Remus didn't fancy me, he was talking to Sirius about having a crush on what's-her-face. Honestly who could blame him, she was 6 foot tall and looked like a fricken model.

For a second I thought that Sirius must have noticed my crush on Remus and was playing a cruel joke on me, I was fully expecting to see him doubled over in laughter. However when I caught sight of him, his gaze was flitting from Remus to blondie to me and he looked almost as confused and downhearted as I felt. He caught my stare and shot me an apologetic look complete with puppy dog eyes; he must have jumped to the wrong conclusion as well.

I was preparing to send him my best 'it's ok' look but I was interrupted when I saw Remus approaching me out of the corner of my eye, the bimbo still attached to his arm. I pretended to look really engrossed in conversation with Charlie, even though I didn't have the faintest idea what he was talking about, in the hopes that Remus would think me busy and walk past. Alas, it wasn't meant to be because Remus and his blonde friend stopped right in front of us.

"Good evening Nymphadora, you look... amazing tonight."

Remus smiled widely as his eyes travelled down my body following the same path Charlie's had previously and I silently revelled in the fact that my outfit seemed to have an effect on him as well. However, the appreciative gaze that I'd been waiting for all night was ruined with a well timed cough from Remus' arm candy which seemed to break his trance. His wide smile waned to a sheepish grin as he cast his gaze upon my face again.

"You remember Adrianna, of course."

He nodded towards the woman on his arm, as she pasted a fake smile on her face. I knew her name started with an A.

"It's Tonks, Remus, and of course I remember Adrianna, from the order meetings right? You, uh, you work at the ministry."

Adrianna nodded again uninterestedly and I was beginning to wonder if maybe she had a speech impediment, considering she had yet to utter a word. My thoughts were halted, however, when she started stroking the bicep of Remus' arm, which was still firmly linked with hers. My eyes automatically shot to Remus' face to gauge his reaction and I was surprised to see that although perhaps a little shocked at the intimate gesture he didn't appear to be put out by it. Two can play at that game I thought as I swiftly linked my arm with Charlies and pulled him closer, shooting Remus a sickly sweet smile.

"You know Charlie, don't you Remus?"

Charlie looked mildly confused and as he slid his arm from my grasp, I paled a little thinking he wasn't going play along, until he wrapped the same arm around my waist and pulled me closer. I had a vague niggling feeling that perhaps Charlie was getting the wrong idea and I knew I should have stopped the charade but I was far too impressed by the fact that Remus had begun to look mildly flustered as he eyed Charlie's hand on my hip. He recovered quickly and his face once again became impassive as he removed his arm from the clutches of 'barbie' and offered it to Charlie.

"No I don't believe we've met. But judging by the red hair, I'd hazard a guess that you're a Weasley."

Charlie took Remus' outstretched hand and shook it, still keeping me firmly held close.

"Yeah, and you must be Remus Lupin. You taught my brothers and sister at Hogwarts, left quite an impression on them. From what I hear you were the best DADA teacher they've ever had, despite your little problem."

Gotta hand it to Charlie, he was a smooth talker. I stared on in wonder as Charlie and Remus conversed smoothly about nothing in particular, meanwhile Adrianna and I could only manage the occasional catty glance. I let out a sigh of relief as Molly announced dinner was ready and practically ran to dining table.

I took a seat on the side of table, Charlie almost immediately sat beside me, and Remus and Adrianna sat directly across from us. I silently swore that if she started feeding food to him I was going to try out some newly invented and ultimately restricted hexes. Sirius sat at the head of the table, seemingly in his element with such a full house, whilst various members of the Order sat around us. Kingsley was there, Moody too, as well as Emmeline, Hestia, Sturgis, Dedalus and even Mundungus Fletcher, the dirty letch only showed up for the free feed. Molly and Arthur sat at the other end of the table and appeared to be in high spirits, probably relieved by the fact that their children would be home safe tomorrow.

Dinner was lovely, the conversation was great and, despite my earlier inference, I didn't get to try out any new hexes. The 'happy couple' sat awfully close throughout the meal, with Adrianna leaning closer to whisper things to Remus occasionally, and I hated to admit it but there cosiness was beginning to get to me and I could feel my heart break a little more. Even though I'd imagined Remus' crush on me, the crush I had on him was very real and with each private glance they shared, my dreams of us together seemed to be getting further and further away. And it hurt.

Just as I was contemplating leaving the party early so I could drown my sorrows with a bottle of wine and a luxurious bubble bath, I was startled to find Charlie watching me intently.

"You okay Tonks? You looked like you were a million miles away."

"I'm fine."

Charlie raised one of his eyebrows and shot me a sceptical look. I couldn't tell him that I was a little devastated by the fact that the guy I fancied was flirting with someone else right in front of me, so I lied.

"No, really Charlie, I'm ok. I was just thinking."

I turned away from him hoping he would buy my lie, but when I turned back I was surprised to see that he'd moved in close and when he spoke it came out in a low whisper.

"Hey, there's this new wizard club that's opened just off Diagon Alley, it's called 'Merlin's Wand'. It's usually really hard to get into but I know someone who knows someone. Look, you're already dressed up and looking really good, so uh, how bout you and I head down there after dinner and have a couple drinks?"

He shot me an overly flirtatious smile and he had this self-assured hopeful look in his eye and I felt really bad that I was about to shoot him down. This was my fault, I led him on to try and rattle Remus and now he thought I was interested. I knew that would come back to bite me on the ass.

"Look Charlie, you're a really nice guy and we've been good mates for ages, since school. But I'm not interested in exploring anything beyond friendship with you. I'm, uh, actually interested in someone else. Sorry."

The hopeful look disappeared from his eyes and a sad sheen overtook them as his cocky smile faded to a half-hearted grin.

"Nah, don't worry about it. To tell you the truth I kinda figured that you must've had you eye on someone, because you do look really good. You can't blame a guy for trying though."

He gave me another half-smile and turned to join in the conversation with Kingsley and Sturgis. The knot in my stomach grew bigger and I felt like a total prat for being the one to put that dejected look on his handsome face, I had to make it up to him.

Dinner passed by quickly without any other incidents and as everyone retired to the fireplace for drinks, at Sirius' suggestion, I stayed behind and offered to help Molly clear the dishes. To my great surprise she accepted my offer, a decision I'm sure she later regretted after I broke 2 wine goblets and dropped a pile of expensive Black china plates in quick succession. After casting a 'reparo' on the china I broke, Molly banished me back to the party. Couldn't blame her really, she'd probably get it done a lot faster without me.

I still felt really bad about leading Charlie on so I decided to talk to him, but when I re-entered the party, he was nowhere to be found. Adrianna was sitting on a chair in front of the fire, surprisingly without Remus, and Sirius was deep in conversation with Kingsley, Arthur and Moody but Charlie wasn't in sight.

I headed out into the hall, intending to search the library, but as I was approaching the stairs I was surprised to hear voices coming from around the corner. My breath caught in my throat as I recognised who was speaking and just what they were speaking about. I stood close to the wall and stealthily peered around the corner and my suspicions were confirmed when I saw Charlie sitting on the stairs whilst Remus leant lightly against the wall.

Now I know I'd learnt my lesson about eavesdropping and the problem it caused, especially after tonight, but this conversation was just too good to pass up.

"... and she's a great person but I don't know. You and Tonks seemed pretty cosy though. I didn't know you were seeing each other."

The statement was made by Remus and to say I was confused would have been a gigantic understatement. Remus fancied Adrianna and she was obviously into him, why would he care who I was potentially seeing?

"We're not seeing each other, just friends. She looked killer in that outfit tonight though, and I was definitely keen on being more that friends but she wasn't. Said she's got her eye on someone else."

"Really!"

If I didn't know any better I'd say that Remus almost seemed relieved by the fact that Charlie and I weren't together. But again I was seeing what I wanted to see, which is how I got into this mess in the first place.

"Yeah. You know I've never seen Tonks go for older guys before, she's usually into the rowdy punks with attitude problems and thirst for trouble. You must be something special if she's got her eye on you."

Say what now? He couldn't have just said what I thought he said, could he. I mean, how would he even know?

"Excuse me?"

"Well she never said anything specifically. But she did say that she liked somebody and she obviously put in a lot of effort for someone at the party. Just by the way she was looking at you, I figured..."

Oh My God!!!!

I didn't think I could stand to hear anymore so I headed back to rejoin the party, completely mortified. I couldn't believe Charlie had just told Remus that I fancied him. Was it payback for shooting him down? Surely not, Charlie wasn't that vindictive, but then why would he even tell Remus at all. He had no right to, it was my secret to tell, and now things were going to be weird.

When I walked back into the dining room, someone grabbed my arm and I whirled around and came face to face with a very sombre looking Sirius.

"Look Tonks, I'm really sorry about the whole Remus thing. I really thought he fancied you, I didn't know he was talking about Adrianna."

He was slurring he words so I knew he was a bit sloshed but I was nowhere near in the mood to have this conversation so I pasted a fake smile on my face.

"It's okay, really. I mean who could blame him, she's gorgeous."

"Yeah but if he's only after her for her looks, you could morph to look like her in a second and have him."

I dropped my smile. Why did people always assume that I wanted to look like someone else?

"Yeah, but if he liked 'me' then I wouldn't have to."

I shifted my gaze just in time to see Remus re-enter the room and my breath caught in my throat as he started towards me after making eye-contact.

"Sirius I really have to get something from the kitchen. I'll be right back."

After making a hurried excuse I hastened down the stairs and into the basement kitchen, leaving a very confused Sirius in my wake. But now that I was alone, I could feel all my suppressed emotion raging towards the surface and I slid into the pantry for somewhere private to 'lose it'. Who knew the pantry wouldn't stay private.

Thanx for reading. I can't offer you a teaser this time as a bribe, mostly because I haven't even started the next chapter yet, but I might send you a little something if I get that far in the next few days. But anywayz please review, you'll make me feel better. See this afternoon at work I bent down to pick my pen up off the ground and somebody opened the safe above me, so when I stood up I whacked my head on a solid metal door. Now I didn't let a little head injury stop me from posting (actually I'm not allowed to sleep just yet coz of the concussion) so nothing should stop you from reviewing.

Seriously PLEASE REVIEW.