Esmeralda, the Ear'Quessir.
Author's Note: Woot! Another update! Let me know what you like!
Reviews:
Hallows07: Thank you very much my darlink. .
Hikitsulover-818: Thanks! The idea came to me the other day after I'd watched that movie for the 168465168th time this break.
bubblymuggle4: Man, I though I got them all that time! Thank you though.
E.Boberin: Great! Thank you! You actually helped inspire me for an idea, which I am rather grateful.
Readerfreak10: That was my favorite part to write!
Chapter 21: Oh dear, not Bartie.
Well, I've officially terminated my friendship with Legolas. After my little spiel on the effectiveness of lotion, he snarled like a ferrule cat, grabbed his nursing items, and stormed out of the room. I chased after him yelling apologies, and ended up smashing him into one of the timbers the Rohan people were trying to use to board the gate up. He received a busted lip. And then he turned to glare at me, and I just started laughing because his lip was now the size of a schooner. Unfortunately he didn't take kindly to my comparison, and stomped out of the main thresh hold. Which brings me to where I am now, searching for the dang blasted elf, he's rather gifted when it comes to hiding. Aragorn and Gimli still haven't returned, I bet they're having more fun than I am right now.
"WATCH WHERE YOU'RE AIMING ELF!" Ahh, the joyous sounds of a dwarf pissed off, what a sound to wake up too. At least that leads me to my destination. I sat on my knees and peaked over the deepening wall to see Legolas firing arrows off at the Uruk-hai still trying to climb up, so naturally I decide to help. I grabbed a rock and lobbed it down towards the on coming enemy, unfortunately it hit Legolas in the back of the head, who then turned towards where I was hiding, I got out of view just in time or I believe I might have lost an eye to one of his arrows. Not something I'd appreciate.
"Gimli! Aragorn! Get out of there" shouted Theoden from the safety of the gate. Shucks, elf boy is heading up this way, if I leave I'll get caught, if I don't leave I'll get caught, maybe I can act like a rock. Yeah, that'll work; all I have to do is act like Legolas. Oh, didn't say that.
"Esme, what are you doing up here?" Damn caught in the act. I turned to look at Legolas with puppy dog eyes. He's sighed, rolled his eyes, and just walked past me. I sat for a few seconds brooding before said elf loomed over me once again. "Well, if you're just going to sit there, help me get Aragorn and Gimli back up." I nodded and jumped up to follow him to the ledge. We threw the rope to them, and I honestly thought that Aragorn was going to kill himself trying to get Gimli up the wall with him. I know I almost did, even with the help of Legolas trying to pull them up. After they were over the top of the wall I sat down and started panting, Gimli glared, I suppose he is smarter then I give him credit for.
"Fall back! Retreat!" Theoden's men were fighting over each other to be the first to get back inside the gate. I sweat dropped before exchanging a look with Legolas. Strange manners these people have. It probably took thirty minutes for all the men to gain entrance, in which that time, I had completed my masterpiece, corn rolling Legolas's blonde tresses. He hasn't quite taken to the look yet, I laugh every time I look at him.
"What have you done to your head Legolas?" Aragorn asked finally noticing the new doo once we were safely inside of the keep.
"Ask Esme, she's the one who did it." He huffed before crossing his arms and pouting. I merely rolled my eyes.
"Fine Legolas, if you don't like it, I'll take it out." I gave him the puppy dog eyes, and a couple of sniffles for effect. He just stared at me until I finally gave in. "Cold hearted being. Fine! Come here!"
"The fortress is taken. It is over." Theoden said while watching his men board the gate up with benches and tables.
"You're one optimistic old fart aren't you?" I asked from my current position, standing on the table trying to remove the braids from Legolas' hair. Stubborn elf hair. I only looked up when I felt the terrible feeling of being loomed over. Indeed. Theoden was now looming over me trying to make me feel terrible for my actions. I slapped my hand, 'Bad pirate." It worked for him
"You said this fortress would never fall while your men defend it" Aragorn said reaching for another table to help strengthen the gate. "They still defend it." He said dropping it in the hands of an unsuspecting soldier, said soldier collapses under the weight of the table, I snigger and only stop when the soldier glares in my direction. "They have died defending it!"
"Aye aye sir Aragorn!" I mock cheered; Aragorn gave me a rather pointed look. Legolas shook his head, so I boxed his ears, he messed my work up.
"Is there no other way for the women and children to get out of the caves?" Aragorn was scanning the walls, trying to find any means of which for them to escape.
"Ello! Answers would be appreciated!" I screamed when no one answered. then I yanked out Legolas' last braid, making him squirm in discomfort. 'Oh poor baby ewf, did that hwurt?" He glared before walking away, I snickered.
"There is one passage. It leads into the mountains. But they will not get far. The Uruk-Hai are too many." replied Gamling, finally. Aragorn perked up and look towards Theoden in silence contemplation. Owhhh... big word. "Send word for the women and children to make for the mountain pass and barricade the entrance!"
"So much death. What can men do against such reckless hate?" Theoden was staring off into space, and didn't even move when I did a jig on the table right in front of him. Then the table was picked up while I was in the middle of my dance, and I tumbled off the side, he still didn't move.
"Ride out with me. Ride out and meet them." Aragorn said, moving closer to Theoden, I swear he even waved his hand in front of Theoden and then whisked it out of view so no one could tell.
"For death and glory." Theoden shouted, finally coming out of his stupor.
"No. Your people you egotistical freak." I said crossing my arms while sitting with legs crossed on the floor. Aragorn aimed a kick for my leg and missed, he would have fallen if Legolas hadn't happened to be walking right behind him. Curse you elf.
"The sun is rising." I turn to see Gimli staring out the window I didn't even know existed. Well, proves how insightful I am.
"Yes. Yes!" Theoden shouted getting rather excited. Almost frighteningly so. "The Horn of Helm Hammerhand shall sound in the deep, one last time." He looked pointedly at me first.
'Alas, I am disinclined to acquiesce your request." I received many confused looks from the peanut gallery. "Means no dipshits." Theoden then turns to Gimli.
"YES!" The dwarf shouted before running off to find the horn. Who knew he would get that excited about that. I shared a look with Legolas before mounting our horses that were now being brought forth. Unfortunately I was still stuck with the same old mean horse.
I gave my horse a pat on the nose, and she bit my finger. I was on my way to punch her in the nose when Legolas grabbed one of my arms, and then Aragorn grabbed the other. They tied me in a rope, put a gag in my mouth and threw me in the cave with all the women. Needless to say I was fuming. Little pillars of smoke were billowing around me. Everyone present stayed clear of me in my current state, except for Eowyn that is.
'Why are you in here?" She asked peering closely into my eyes.
"Lkasjdiofneklnaihsdjfakjeioja" I snarled, as well as I could through the gag.
"Pardon me?" She caught my obvious stare. 'Oh sorry." She untied me and then pulled the gag out of my mouth. As soon as it was out I raced to the entrance and stood banging on the door swearing like a true pirate until Eowyn cleared her throat gaining my attention. "My question please?"
"Legolas and Aragorn tied me up and threw me in here, although I'm happy to say I believe I broke Aragorn's nose when I smashed my head into it." I gave a wolfish smile when she flinched.
"Oh well, we are to make for the mountain pass now. So the best thing for you to do would be to follow us Miss." Eowyn turned on her heel and started to head out of the back. I followed closely behind, more to irate her than anything.
"So, how does it feel to be stuck in here with a war going on outside?" I asked with a simpering smile.
"Horrid. Terrible." she said through gritted teeth. My smile merely grew. We were silent for a few minutes until I heard the strangest, yet familiar sound. It was like someone was singing my pirate dirge. I whirled around in circles until I fell over myself. The further we walked the louder it got. We continued walking until Eowyn close lined me with her arm.
"You know, you could have warned me." I snarled rubbing my throat. She placed her finger on her lips before beckoning me to follow her. There were people talking up ahead.
"BART! I told you we took a wrong turn back at the fork!" A thud followed.
'Don't hit your captain!" the second voice replied. Bother were very familiar. "We didn't take a wrong turn; we just have to pass, through this mountain to reach the next town. Keep going."
"YOU'RE NOT CAPTAIN FOR THE LAST TIME! She only left you in charge until she returned. And I'm not taking another step until you let me see the map you Nadorhuan." (Cowardly dog.) snarled the first voice coming closer and closer.
"Lle holma ve' edan" (You smell like human) replied the second voice.
"No kidding Bart. The whole cave smells like human. Shithead. No wonder Esme didn't like you." replied the first voice. If Eowyn had spared a glance in my direction she would have seen a smile dorky enough to make a toddler proud, I knew those voices, and names. The insults too. We may be clever cobs us pirates, but we were never good for insults. I leaped up and sprinted towards the two people I missed more than anything in the world. Well, the one.
"BARTIE!!!! EDDIIIEE!" I launched myself on the unsuspecting elves. I could hear Eowyn huffing along behind me.
"Esme? Is that really you?" Edward questioned after a few seconds of silence, in which we were scuffling in order to untangle our limbs.
"In the flesh." I gave a wolfish smile before attacking Edward in another hug.
"It has been too long Captain. We've missed you dearly" I heard Bart simper.
"Unless my ears have deceived me, I believe you were calling yourself, 'Captain", honestly, how stupid would that sound, Capt. Bart. Gah. Has a nasty after taste." I smiled at Bart before giving him a hug. Yes, I missed that blighter too. "So how goes my ship? And the others?"
"I thought I heard a familiar voice?" another pirate came around the corner. I turned to find Charlotte, my bestie. Funny little women she was.
"Well, if it isn't Charlotte." I said before engulfing her in a bone crushing hug. "Hope you've been keeping the scallywags at bay. Particularly these two." I nodded to the two standing behind me, she laughed before walking to Edward and wrapping her arms around his waist. "Well, I suppose you lot have been busy, have you not." Stunned is not the word to describe it. They never stopped fighting long enough to find out each others name. I remember perfectly the first time the two of them ever met, I had to tie them to separate ends of the ship to keep them from slitting each others throats.
"Aye, we have been. We came to find you miss. You're Piece of Eight has been ringing." Bart said stepping forward, handing the little piece of silver.
"So it has." I sat musing over why that thing could have been activated.
"Hello, yes I understand this is a wonderful reunion and everything, but, WE NEED TO GET MOVING SO WE AREN'T KILLED BY THE URUK-HAI!" I fell over startled at the outburst, and then I remembered who it was. Eowyn. I'd forgotten all about her. By the time I'd gotten to my feet, my crew had her pinned to the wall all three's swords pointed at her neck.
"DARTHO!" (Hold). Aragorn would have my head on a silver platter if I let them kill her. "Re nayassen amin." (She is with me.)
"Our apologies Miss, we didn't' know you were with Capt." Edward, always the charmer, gave Eowyn a wink and a kiss on the hand. Eowyn is now the color of a poison berry, and Charlotte looks about ready to chop Edwards hand off.
"You don't understand how good it feels to be called Captain once again." I sighed oblivious to the pointed stares Eowyn was sending in my direction. Only once she started sighing did I pay any attention. "Ok, what is it?"
"We must hurry. We need to get the people out of here."
"We can show you an exit." Bart said coming so close to me I could feel his breathe on my arm, it gave me shivers, unlike the way...not going there. Anyway. "Captain?"
"Give me a minute!" I yelled bopping Bart on the head; he scuttled back as quickly as possible. "Ahah! Here's what we'll do! Eowyn, you go back to the keep with the women and children, me and my crew shall go join the feud and shall come to guard the door. How does that sound?"
"Like you're disserting us." she replied, raising her eyebrow.
"NEVER! It's like you don't know me at all mate! Don't say anything. I promise to return." I said bowing to her, winking at Edward and Charlotte while I was at it. "Plus, I have an elf and a human to thwart if you don't mind." With that I set off following Charlotte and Edward towards the exit. Bart was back to his old tricks, following in the rear for a certain purpose. I turned and smack him on the top of the head. "E'ale'quel. SII'!" (In front. NOW!) He ran forward as fast as he could, I smirked. It was good to be home. Well, close enough.
By the time we had excited the cave, it was mid-day. Turns out the three of them had arrived on horseback. Unfortunately there wasn't one for me. It was either I ride with Bart, or walk. Neither would do.
"Charlotte, shack up with master Edward won't you darlink?' I asked sweetly, still exuding my captain's air.
"Most certainly captain." she replied, she looked quite happy to me. I mounted her pitch black horse and turned to head towards the front of the keep. Yet, no one followed.
"Is there a problem?"
"Well, you weren't really going to go back were you? I mean aren't you ready to go back to the ship. The whole crew misses their captain, and need you something fierce." Bart whispered.
"I leave for five minutes, and everything goes to pot. Yes I'm going back; I have people I have to help. And friends that need me. Duh. So come or go, you're choice, I won't make it for you. Whoa, did anyone else think that was weird coming out of my mouth?' All three nodded. I shrugged and continued in the direction I started, and was satisfied to hear two other sets of hoof beats following.
I jumped off of my horse once we reached the last hill separating us from the battle. Uruk-hai were everywhere you turned. I could see where Aragorn and Theoden were leading the charge. My only hope was to slip through here un-noticed. Unfortunately fate had other plans. At the exact moment that I planned on running against the wall of the mountain and down the hill, Gandalf rode up on his high and mighty Shadowfax.
"Oh mighty nice of you to come Gandalf. A little late don't you think?" I asked crossing my arms, he glared in my direction and turned to motion towards something over the crest of the hill. Another horseman rode forward; I exchanged a shrug with Charlotte before turning back towards Gandalf and the other guy. Only it wasn't just them now, it was a whole bunch of people. "Well, let me get my horse if you please." I mounted my horse and gave Gandalf a nod who then signaled the charge.
'ROHIRRIM!" the other guy, whose helmet hair looks oddly familiar, screamed before following after Gandalf, who was now blinding everything, including those behind him, with that infernal light he enjoys blasting everywhere.
"GANDALF! My eyes if you don't mind!" I shouted trying to make sure I didn't run into any of the spears the orcs had pointed towards us. None came. I opened my eyes and saw that they were in fact, running in fear. "THAT'S RIGHT YOU CURRS!! RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! AHAHAAHA!" I jumped off my horse and did a victory dance until I realized all eyes were now on me. "Sheesh, can't anyone get excited around here?"
Author's Note: Reviews por favor! You know you want to.