Esmeralda, the Ear'Quessir.
Author's Note: Yes this is another update, I've had soo much time to dedicate to my story, and as then say, Take what you can, give nothing back. Whee… my favorite movies. Ahem, moving on, hope you enjoy!
Reviews:
bubblymuggle4:I too, am a Pirates fanatic. I was like, perfect moment to add one of my favorites movies, into my fic! And now I can't stop listening to the Davy Jones' song from the second movie, I have it on my ipod and I'm always listening to it. George's cousin says hello by the way.
Erid'Lor: Thank you! Well, if you remember, Legolas had wanted her to go in the first place, so I suppose it all branched off from there hmm? Ahah, you're probably not the first, nor the last on that, guess I should have specified. I thought I did though; hmm...I'll have to look into that.
Hallows07:We shall see, we shall see. Thanks!
Hikitsulover-818: It's amazing how often that happens. Thanks for the review.
Smileybabie: I understand your plight, but like I said, I don't want it some aggressive, love at first sight thing. Exsnay on the Mary Sueway, follow? Anyway, thanks for the review, and you'll get your wish soon enough!
Chapter 22: I will not!
"BART! For the last time! Leave me ALONE!" I screamed, ah this is why I never liked the curr. For the past hour it has taken us to get across this stupid battlefield, he's been bugging me about coming back to the ship with Edward, Charlotte and him. I've yet to give him and answer, so now he's taken to ride along side me with his knee whacking mine; I believe I now have a bruise.
"But Captain, are you coming or- CLANK" I whirled around to see Edward with his sword out the flat side up, and his eyes closed in peace.
"Edward... I LOVE YOU!" I pointed and laughed manically in Bart's direction before speeding my horse for the last stretch between me and L-lovely old Helm's Deep.
"It was a duty Captain." Edward replied keeping his horse paced with mine, I turned to see that some Rohirrim had stopped to help Bart back upon his mount, and cursed silently.
"I believe I have taken advantage of these last few Bart-less months, now I fear the Valor are trying to make me see the fault in my ways." I said, mopingly.
"ESME!"
"Well hello, short moving blur of red hair." I said before me and the person who tackled me rolled down the ramp until I hit the bottom and he jumped off. Too bad he couldn't really go anywhere, Edward and Charlotte had their swords targeted on his throat. 'Really you guys, you've got to stop with this whole being protective over me, honestly, it's not like I'm married to you. Anyway, lovely to see you as well old chap!" I smacked Gimli on the shoulder before walking back up the ramp where Aragorn and Legolas where standing with grins on their faces. I walked to Aragorn and engulfed him in a hug.
"Funny how much this feels like deja vu." He said before setting me back on my feet. Legolas was kinda staring in a funny, "I want to pummel you, and hug you at the same time but I'm scared to either" sorta way… So I did it myself, I launched myself into him, unfortunately I don't think he was suspecting it, and we tumbled over. I could hear everyone snickering, and didn't catch why until I saw I was straddling him. I made to jump up but my boot that had some how gotten tangled in the string of his bow. I sat for a good while trying to untangle it before he whispered for me to take my boot off.
"Aragorn, I do believe it is a strange case of deja vu, I believe I've been in this position with her before." Legolas said through his gigantic smirk, I heard Gimli gasp in the background which was enough to set me off in a fit of laughter. When I'd finally reclaimed my breath, I noticed my crew mates were staring with huge sweat drops rolling down the side of their faces.
"I suppose it's time for an introduction eh?" I proceed to introduce everyone, rather quickly until it came to Edward and Legolas, they began this little, "whose the more manly of us elves here" competition, including, staring, grinding teeth, and much knuckle cracking. I exchanged a pointed look with Charlotte who rolled her eyes before grabbing Edward and pulling him backwards, I grabbed Legolas by the ear and frog marched him to Aragorn. "Stay, be good boy." He's glare was murderous. "Anyway what's on the agenda for today?"
"Sauron's wrath will be terrible, his retribution swift. The battle for Helm's Deep is over. The battle for Middle-earth is about to begin. All our hopes now lie with two little hobbits, somewhere in the wilderness" I nearly jumped out of my skin when Gandalf said this. I didn't even know he had reached us yet.
"Dear god man, a warning would be nice." I shouted panting and holding my heart. Edward wrapped an arm around my shoulder; Legolas wrapped one around my waist. "The last person to remove their arm shall have them forcibly removed." They were gone in a flash.
"Sorry my dear, surprise is my element." Gandalf smirked at me before walking into the keep to meet with Theoden. I started to follow after him to hit him but Legolas picked me up and threw me over his shoulder, much to Edward's chargin. Honestly, how childish.
"How did you get out? I thought they had you tied and gagged when they threw you in the cave?' Asked Theoden thoroughly stumped as to my miraculous escape. I exchanged a look with Bart, bad idea he smiled like a freak, I turned back around rather quickly.
"Sea turtles mate." My crew laughed, Theoden looked stumped, and Aragorn looked up at the ceiling as if asking the Valor to take him then and there. Legolas was giving me a strange look; Gandalf had his head in his hands.
"How strange, I didn't know they originated in this part of Middle Earth." Theoden dead panned looking curiously in my direction. My mouth was standing wide up with astonishment.
'And you're king?" Edward asked, walking forward giving Aragorn a look along the lines of "why aren't you?"
"Yes, I am. Theoden King."
"Yeah, and you think you have SEA turtles in where ever we are now?"
"Well, Esme just said-"
"Dear ERU! She was just kidding, me, Charlotte, and...Bart, were the ones that led her out. Geez." With that he turned and headed back to stand next to Charlotte shaking his head all the way.
"Oh."
"Oh." I repeated, still slightly startled by idiocy.
"Anyway, as I said before, Sauron's wrath will be terrible, his retribution swift. The battle for Helm's Deep is over. The battle for Middle-earth is about to begin. All our hopes now lie with two little hobbits, somewhere in the wilderness." Gandalf said, looking pointedly to the east.
"What's over there sir?" questioned stupid old Bart. I bopped him on the head and drug him back over to his comrades.
"We shall ride to Isengard, where the Ents have been at war themselves."
"With what? Stones?" I asked, knowing that Isengard had indeed, emptied all it's contents to meet us at Helm's Deep. Gandalf quickly turned and silenced me with one of his glares, Legolas again tried to copy one, and I started giggling. Until I realized I was indeed giggling, then I stuffed my fist into my mouth. Legolas just raised his eyebrow at me, I tried to smile, no progress. Edward then bopped me in the back of the head for being an idiot. So I turned and started to slap him, which began and all out slapping of the hands battle. "EDWARD! YOU SHALL NOT WIN!" I launched a new attack with more ferocity, cornering him between me and a column, and then Legolas decided he was going to help Edward, and began tickling me from behind. "TRAITOR!"
Then we heard Gandalf clear his throat, what an interesting position we must all be in, I had two handfuls of Edward's hair trying to keep Legolas from pulling me off of him, Edward was hugging the column he was up against, and Legolas was pulling me as hard as he could.
"If we are done being childish, we may want to prepare for the ride ahead." Gandalf said matter-o-factly, staring intensely at me and Legolas.
"Yeah yeah, ok, we're going. But first, can I have my face back please Gandalf?" I said placing my hands on my hip, Gandalf finally stopped staring and turned to start another conversation with Theoden. I set off to gather my belongings; it wasn't long before Charlotte had me cornered for questioning. 'You see, I knew this was coming, that's why I didn't try to stop it."
"Sure you did."
"I did! I promise!"
"Right anyway, what is going on with you and Blondie?"
'Aha, that's what I call him too!" She got an angry glare on her face, and with that look, comes pain. "Ok ok what do you want to know?"
"Do you like him?"
'Of course, how could you now like someone you have to travel with for Eru knows how long? I mean I didn't like him at first, he was a pigheaded snot buck-"
"Esme, you know what I mean..."
"No I don't." I stood with my chest stuck out defiantly. She poked me in the chest, deflating me rather quickly. "Ok fine, yes I do. Happy?'
"Finally, it's been the longest time since you've shown any interest in anyone but treasure, which you are obsessed with."
"I am not obsessed with Treasure, merely shiny things."
"Does he like you?' She asked ignoring my previous statement.
"How should I know? I'm not exactly going to go up to him and be like "Hey Legolas, do you like me, cause I like you?"
"You just did." I whirled around to see Legolas with his eyebrow raised, leaning against a column across the room.
"Oh you're evil Charlotte, and you will pay for this!" I stood shaking my fist at her retreating back until I heard Legolas clear his throat. "What?' I snarled whipping around and my chin in his chest. 'I thought I told you before not to sneak up on me like that."
"Sorry, comes with being an elf."
"Was that supposed to be an insult?"
"No, I meant none, just stating the facts." He smirked when I crossed my arms and stuck my tongue out. 'Anyway, to answer your question-"
"Legolas, Captain Esme, are you ready to leave."
"DAMN YOU AND YOU'RE BAD TIMING BART!" I shouted running over to him. He backed away slowly.
'My apologies, Esme, Aragorn's orders." he whimpered covering his head like a little twerp. I looked at Legolas; he shrugged, so I decided not to hit Bart.
"Well, tell master Aragorn to shove it up his as-"
"Well, I've already heard it myself. Thank you though Esme." Aragorn walked towards us, replacing all of his daggers. Suppose he finally cleaned them. "Anyway, we need to find you a new horse, we let your's go, she was rather annoying." I smirked. They finally got why I didn't like her.
I narrowed my eyes at Legolas and Aragorn, Legolas was the first to get what the look was about.
"No worries Esme, we won't be locking you up now, more sea turtles might come to save you."
"Captain, you may still ride my horse." Charlotte said from somewhere behind me. I turned to see her sticking her head out around Edward, who looked utterly confused.
"You dare show your face you cowardly dog!" I shouted before lunging towards Edward and Charlotte. Edward let a squeak like a girl before diving to the floor, Charlotte started to run off. I didn't get far however before Legolas captured me from behind. This didn't slow my fight any.
"Just take the horse Esme." Legolas sat me down when I finally subdued.
"Fine I will. Edward, you can get up now." I squatted down in front of him, to see his eyes with little swirlies in them. Poor baby. I jumped on his back, he finally got up.
"Where's Charlotte?" the poor innocent fool asked.
My eye started twitching; Legolas had to grab me to make sure I didn't run off to find her.
"Right here." Still wearing that innocent smile. Evil conniving cuttlefish.
"So are we ready to depart?" questioned Gandalf surveying the current scene without the slightest interest. We all nodded and left to mount our horses.
The whole journey to Isengaurd included a lot of me chasing Charlotte and Legolas holding back my horse, until he finally jumped on my horse to keep me from controlling it.
"You know, I like you less for this." I said huffing and puffing trying to get him to have my horse back, although I don't really mind this close contact.
"I'll live with that" I could here the laughter in his voice. I huffed and closed my eyes trying to go to sleep, which I did, on Legolas' back. Hope I don't slobber too much.
"Welcome my lords, to Isengard." shouted someone in the distance waking me from my slumber. I instantly sat up, and fell of the rear of my horse. Legolas stopped and looked down at me, laughter showing in his eyes. I grabbed a handful of mud and threw it in his face. Target.
"Ahahah! You look like a mud monster!' I gasped through my laughter; Legolas looked over at Aragorn before jumping off his, my, Charlotte's horse, and began tickling me unmercifully. 'Stop- snort- I yield- snort!" He gave a satisfied smirk, jumped back on the horse and prepared to leave until he remembered I was riding with him.
"Can you please get on now?"
"Why should I?"
"Because if you don't, I'll tickle you again."
"I shall force you to ride with me." Gandalf said pulling his horse to a stop almost inches from my forehead. I nodded and jumped quickly on to my horse.
"Alls well!" I saluted him before urging Legolas to move forward.
"You young rascals! A merry hunt you've led us on, and now we find you feasting and, and smoking!" Gimli ran forward to two figures sitting on the wall in front of us. They looked suspiciously like hobbits. Hobbits we know. I whispered this to Legolas, and reveled in the fact that every time I whispered, his ear would twitch, and he would stiffen. So I took advantage of this knowledge, and continued to blow air on his ear the whole way into Isenguard.
"We are sitting on a field of victory, enjoying a few well-earned comforts. The salted pork is particularly good." yelled the one walking towards us, he slurred every word in the sentence which led me to believe that the young master hobbit, was indeed, drunk.
"Like ale, I suppose?" I yelled catching the attention of the hobbits.
"ESME! You're still amongst the living!" yelled the one who was still sitting on the wall; I suppose he was too drunk to walk.
"Do I know you? Why wouldn't I still be here? Are you implying something hobbit?" I jumped down from the horse and ran over to the hobbit on the wall. "MERRY!" I would have hugged him, but thanks to previous events, I knew we'd probably tumble off the side.
"Nice to see you too Esme." shouted what must be Pippin on the ground. Gimli was going on about salted park. I threw a piece of wall rock at him to make him stop.
"Hobbits." Gandalf said disgustedly. For some reason that made me laugh really hard. Legolas gave me a confused look, so I stuck my tongue out at him.
"We're under orders from Treebeard who has taken over management of Isengard." Merry said making to stand, he didn't get far before he toppled over and brought me down with him.
"Fool of a hobbit. Now look what you went and did. What possessed you to do something that stupid eh? Do you hear me Merry?' I looked to see him with eyes the size of dinner plates staring at the tip of Bart's sword. "Good gracious, I thought I made it clear to you, NONE OF THIS PROTECTIVE SHIT! I'm not married to you, nor am I in anyway in love with you. Sheesh, how do you think I survived without you here, hm?" I brushed past him mumbling curses; Gandalf boxed my ear to make me shut up.
"We head out to see Treebeard. Come along." I rejoined Legolas on our horse and gave him a smile, before blowing on his ear. He glared and turned back around. I love that.
By the time we had reached Treebeard, I had annoyed Legolas so much, that he had put his hood up over his ears so that I couldn't do it to him anymore. So now I was moping because I had nothing better to do. Edward thought it would be fun to bring Charlotte close every now and then, in which I would lash out to reach her, then Legolas would grab me, Edward would ride off laughing with a queasy looking Charlotte holding on for dear life.
"Hm, young Master Gandalf, I'm glad you've come. Wood and water, stock and stone I can master. But there is a wizard to manage here -- locked in his tower." Treebeard said pointing to the tower. I was more amused by how long it took him to say that. And I said so; Legolas slapped his hand over my face and gave the big scary tree a forced smile, which could be because I had just bit his finger. I could hear Charlotte sniggering.
"There Saurman must remain, under your guard, Treebeard." Gandalf said ignoring the last comment I had made.
"Well, let's just have his head and be done with it." Gimli already had his axe out polishing it, hoping he would be the one to kill Saurman.
"No, he has no more power anymore." Gandalf replied eyeing Gimli's axe to give him a push to putting it away, too bad Gimli's too dumb to sense these type of things.
"The filth of Saruman is washing away. Trees will come back to live here." Treebeard commented, like he was stating the weather. I stared at him with an incredulous look, we were talking about some evil wizard and here he is talking about vegetation.
"Pippin!" Aragorn drew everyone's attention to the poor hobbit that looked like a deer in the headlights right about now.
"Peregrin Took, I'll take that my lad." Gandalf rode up and snatched the ball thing out of Pippin's hands and wrapped it in his cloak before turning back to Treebeard. I could still see Pippin trying to catch another glimpse of the ball.
"So, are we going back now?" I asked when the silence fell upon us. Everyone closed their eyes for a few seconds before Gandalf nodded. "Excellent."
When we reached Edoras, a party was well on it's way. I love parties, but I doubt this could be as good as mine. Edward said so himself, Bart was saying it just because he's a lame-o.
"Tonight we remember those who gave their blood to defend this country. Hail the victorious dead!" I looked around confused because no one else seemed to catch his mistake.
"Um Mister Theoden, king, man, how can the -muhthfphm." Legolas had some how found his way to place his hand on my face, yet again. Giving another forced smile he dragged me out of the room leaving a very confused looking Theoden.
"What is you're problem?" He asked, still not releasing my mouth. "Are you going to answer?" I moved my eyes from his hand back to his face. 'Right sorry. Now answer."
"Well didn't you hear what he said? How can you be victorious if you're dead? Hmm? Seems to me like you lost! Big time. I mean, It's like you lost the championship of championships. The best competition, and you lost-" He rolled his eyes in reply.
"OK I get it. He's just, I don't know, trying to make everyone feel better about it or something, I don't know. But don't make him upset, we really don't need an angsty Theoden on our hands do we?
"No I guess not. Hey wanna walk; I don't really want to go back in there yet." Without waiting for an answer I ran outside to stare at what was left of the sunset. I heard him chuckle before following after me. "You know, they say that every time the sunsets, and there is a green flash, a soul is returned to the world from the dead. Cods wallop I say, but I still wonder what the significance is. Anyhoo… can you even see it on the main land. Have you, ever gazed upon the green flash, sir Legolas." He stopped to stand on my right side, staring off into the distance.
"Can't say that I have. Interesting tale comes with it hm?"
"Were you even listening to me when I just told you what it meant?" He didn't speak. Answer enough. "Then, seeing as I am not in a very divulgetory mood shall make you suffer by keeping you in the dark. Aha." He rolled his eyes and snorted, kinda reminded me of a horse. But I never told him that.
"I heard you crew speaking of trying to convince you of coming back with them. Are you going too?" The look he placed me under was enough for me to almost kiss him right then and there. But seeing as he might not appreciate that, I kept my distance, as heart wrenchingly difficult as it was.
"I don't know, I wish this was an easy decision, but it's not." The sky flashed green. There goes some lost soul back amongst the realm of the living. Or maybe some a Nazgul ate some really bad eggs, and he couldn't contain himself.
"It should be."
"What?"
"You'd just think it would be an easy decision." Legolas wasn't looking at me.
"Well, if that's what you think, you make it for me. Think like I would in that situation."
"Easy, stay with us. We need you."
'For what, a laugh or two?"
'I need you." I turned to see him walk away.
"So, what am I, you're comedic relief?"
"And to answer your earlier question," He stopped but didn't turn back to face me. "I do."
"Oh, so I am just a source of entertainment to you? Well I feel loved!" I stomped my foot before following him back to the celebration.
I walked in to see Merry and Pippin singing some bar room jig on top of a table. I shook my head and walked over to Charlotte and Edward, who were hiding in a corner staring around the room in apprehension.
"So, how goes it?' I asked draping myself across one of the chairs next to them.
"Like a human disaster." scoffed Edward watching one of the men stumble to refill his goblet.
"Aha, sounds about right." I pulled out my sharks tooth and was about to try and crack this riddle of the piece singing, only to be interrupted by Charlotte.
"Where did you and Legolas disappear to, it doesn't take that long for a mommy to scold their troublesome child."
"Stop insinuating things that aren't true" I snapped slamming my necklace on the table, making the occupants of some of the surrounding table flinch.
"It's true though Esme, he has taken some sort of liking to you. I can already tell, and I've known him, three days?" Edward replied, coming to his lover's defense.
"Double teaming, is unsportsmanlike like conduct." I snarled making to stand. "He shows no affection to me what so ever, all I am is his entertainment for this stupid journey."
"He does love you Esme!" protested Charlotte, only to be cut off by Legolas.
"Let's here a song Captain Esmeralda, how about it?" He sent me a smirk.
"How about, NO. Oh yeah and Charlotte, point proven." I was on my way out of the door when Legolas caught me by the arm and drug me up to the front. "Lle umgurther naikelea gurtha." (You will die a painful death.) I snarled wrenching my arm from his grasp.
"That is a chance I'm willing to take." He said, still smirking that obnoxious smirk. I don't even understand why he's smirking.
"Good."
"Proceed if you will" He mock bowed himself off the stage.
"I shall."
"The king and his men
stole the queen from her bed
and bound her in her Bones.
The seas be ours
and by the powers
where we will well roam.
Yo, ho, haul together,
hoist the colors high.
Heave ho, thieves and beggars,
never say we die."
By this time Charlotte, Edward and Bart had joined in.
"Some men have died
and some are alive
and others sail on the sea
– with the keys to the cage...
and the Devil to pay
we lay to Fiddler's Green!
The bell has been raised
from it's watery grave...
Do you hear it's sepulchral tone?
We're call to all,
pay head the squall
and turn your sail toward home!
Yo, ho, haul together,
hoist the colors high.
Heave ho, thieves and beggars,
never say we die."
By the end of our song, an eerie silence had overcome the audience.
"Edward, Charlotte, Bart, desiel i'rokko, lye autdome." (Ready the horses, we leave tonight.) I marched right by Legolas, ignoring the imploring look his was sending in my direction. Even Aragorn looked surprised, and he made to follow after me, but I shook my head, reclaimed his seat and I followed after my crew.
"Do we have a-oomph!" I was cut off by a hand mysteriously appearing over my mouth, again. Legolas pulled me into a room conveniently placed for this type of thing. I bit his finger and made to dart out the door, until he stepped in front of it. "You know, this ambushing thing you enjoy, is getting really annoying."
"Whatever it takes."
"You don't know how good of a pirate you'd make." this comment startled him enough for me to push him off the door. We stood fighting over the handle for a good five minutes before he won, again. "Fine say what you have to say and be done with it."
"First what does that song mean?'
"I don't know! My dad just always used to hum it, and one day I made him tell me the words. Happy?"
"For now." I rolled my eyes at his insistence. "Second, what made you make this decision?"
"Gee, I don't know, maybe my lack of importance to this whole thing anyway? I mean seriously, let's say I'd never met Aragorn, I never would have had to help him capture those hobbits and then I wouldn't have had to go to Rivendell. Or attend that stupid council, or be thrown into this stupid fellowship. And I sure as hell wouldn't have had to fall in love with you, and be disappointed. So if you'll excuse me, I have a ship and crew that I miss most dearly to return to. Good day and good luck." I threw the door open and took maybe two steps down the hall before Legolas whirled me around and planted a kiss on my unsuspecting lips.
"Hubba hubba." was all I heard in the background before submitting into bliss.
Author's Note: Well, I tried to make that work. I'm not very talented when it comes to writing that type of romance thing, so be easy. Anyway, if you could tell I wrote this while watching final installment to the Pirates of the Caribbean three, and I love it!! Anyway, reviews please!