Esmeralda, the Ear'Quessir.

Author's Note: OK, so I'm sorry for the long wait period, I've just had a rather hectic week. So I had this chapter already typed up, and was going to post it on Friday after I went out to celebrate my year anniversary with my boyfriend, but turned out he had a basketball game and didn't get done until like nine, so we waited until after hi game. Then when I got home my sister wouldn't let me use the computer because she was busying talking to people before she left for college again, then I was gonna do it this morning but I practice. After practice I had to take my sister to the airport, and this was the only time I could do it, so, here you go! Enjoy!

Reviews:

bubblymuggle4: You're probably not the only one. I suppose it helps to have heard wheat referred to as such, anyway, thanks for the review as always. As to the POTC references…you may be getting more than just that in a little while. But I'm mum on such subjects, for now.

Readerfreak10: Yay, I'm glad some one got it.

Hikitsulover-818: Mwuahahahaa. Maybe.

Hallows07: I concur.

Chapter 24: How lovely to see you, really.

It took us about two days to reach the Dunharrow camp, by that time men from all over had begun to gather.

'Make way for the king. Make way." Some random rider was yelling riding through the camp. They acted like he needed a formal introduction; every one knows who he is honestly.


"Grimbold, How many?" Theoden asked, ignoring how the soldiers were crowding around him. I leaned over the shoulder of my horse to stare down at one of the soldiers that looked like he was about to faint with excitement.

"Boo." The soldier spazzed and ran away, I sniggered before I caught Aragorn's glare. "Fine, ruin my fun you old party pooper." Legolas tsked at me before dismounting and walking over to Theoden and Aragorn.

"I bring five hundred men from the Westfold, my Lord." Grimbold replied bowing down.

"We have three hundred more from Fenmarch, Theoden King." Gamling added once he reached us.

"Where are the riders from Snowbourne?" asked Theoden surveying the tents in front of him.

"None have come, my Lord."

"Pansies." Every head turned to look at me in astonishment. Theoden looked like he was about to ask how a man could possibly be a flower. I just held my hands up and shook my head. Best to humor him. Legolas grabbed my hand and gave me a look to stop being obnoxious, but that's almost impossible for me. I smiled innocently and blinked my eyes.

"Does Lady Esme have something in her eye?" questioned Bart jumping down from his horse to come to the rescue. I bopped him in the forehead, and shook my head no. He just remounted and followed after Theoden and Aragorn who were heading for the higher part of the camp.

"She'll be coming around the mountain when she comes, yee-ha!" I sang before jumping on my horse and beginning to follow the procession.

"Six thousand spears. Less than half of what I'd hoped." Theoden was pacing around his rather luxurious ten while I sat trying to braid his fancy little rug. Yes, he had a rug in his ten, imagine that.

"Six thousand will not be enough to break the lines of Mordor" Aragorn replied not looking Theoden in the face.

"Gah, what a damper you are Aragorn." Is aid looking up from my craft. Aragorn blew a raspberry at me before turning back to Theoden, who continued to pace. "You know, if you keep that up, you might leave a mark." He ignored me.

"More will come."

"Every hour lost hastens Gondor's defeat. We have till dawn. Then we must ride." Aragorn stood and made to leave the tent before turning to me and raising his eyebrow. I finally caught the hint and followed after him. "Do you plan to leave at that time?"

'I was actually thinking a little earlier, so that none saw us leaving and would think we were deserting them." He nodded but didn't reply until we reached his tent.

"You will return then?"

"Duh. Who do you think I am?" He shrugged and lifted the flap of his tent, I caught a glance of a rug in his too, I was about to protest when he cut me off.

"Wait one moment?" I nodded craning my neck to see what else was hidden in his tent. It took a hell of a lot longer than one minute for him to come back out. " Thank you."

"You're lucky you came out when you did, I almost left you because you were taking too long, plus, I really want to go make Gimli jump!" I pointed at the dwarf who was enraptured in Legolas and Eomer's conversation about haunted mountain paths.

"Ah." Aragorn only shook his head before following after me.

None who venture there ever return. That mountain is evil." Eomer stated hoping to quell the talk of such a subject; I took that moment to make my presence known by trying, trying being key, to hum some strange eerie creepy song. Gimli was the only person it affected, Legolas snorted, and Eomer merely stared at me, I just smiled and wiggled my eyebrows. Yes I can do that, but can't cock only one up at a time. It's depressing.

"Aragorn!" Gimli shouted knocking Aragorn out of his thought process, you could see the confusion written all over his face. "Let's find some food." Aragorn merely raised his eyebrow and followed after the dunce on a mission.

"Well that was random wasn't it?' I jumped into Legolas, who I'm happy to note made a noise of pain, yes the first one ever, I guess I crushed his toe; when Edward came forward holding Charlotte's hand. "When are we leaving?"

"Tonight.'" I said trying to get my heart to slow down.

'No duh, when tonight?"

"When I say so."

:"You're acting like a child."

"You are a child." I stuck my tongue out at him.

"You're acting like Jack." That was the bottom line and he knew it, he started to smirk.

"I am not, he's dumb, and…and...he smells funny!" Edward snorted before walking to his tent with Charlotte snickering in tow. "Yeah laugh all you want!!" I stomped my foot, unfortunately Legolas' foot happened to be where I decided to vent my anger. I hope I didn't break anything…

"Who is this Jack?" Legolas asked after the wave of pain had lifted.

"A loser." I huffed and walked to my tent. "By the way, we're leaving before dawn so that we can go without being seen, savvy?" He nodded and followed my in my tent. "What are you doing?" I turned to see him sitting and hopping on my bed. "Is it to you satisfaction?"

" No, no not really." He smiled at me. Flippin nerd.

"I'm sorry to hear that." I turned back to my pack waiting to hear what else he was gonna say, only it never came. I looked back at him to find him passed out on my bed, and this was a chance I couldn't miss out on. I grabbed my face paint, yes, I have face paints for battles, sheesh, show some spirit. Let's say he looks much better now.

"Dear Eru elf, what is on your face?" shouted Gimli upon our arrival to the fire.

"Are you trying to imply something master dwarf?" Legolas said turning his glare on, Gimli tried to sputter out what he was seeing but Legolas ignored him. "Esme? Are you alright?" He caught sight of my trying to stuff my fist into my mouth so I wasn't caught laughing.

"Oh yes, dandy." I snorted, making him look at me funny again. "I love you?" I smiled hoping that would make him stop staring at me.

"And I you…" he shook his head and took a seat on the ground. I excused my self so that I could go get a good laugh. I ran into Aragorn, literally, on my way back to camp.

"What's up sir Aragorn?" I asked curtseying.

"What did you do?" He studied me suspiciously for a few seconds/

'Why do you think I did anything?" He stared at me awhile before saying he was in a hurry, something about meeting with Theoden. Maybe I'll follow; Legolas is coming my direction with a murderous glare on his face, yep, following Aragorn.

"I take my leave." I barely made it out of the way in time, Theoden almost caught me in action, then I would have had to leave. I picked up the corner of the flap and took a look around. Aragorn was left with some cloaked stranger, who looked suspiciously like an elf, and I should know. Wow, just realized how stupid that sounded the thing reaches to pull his hood off, nothing but porcelain skin, and then….

THOSE EYEBROWS!! EGAD! If he doesn't take care of those there going to take over his face one day. I saw Elrond's eyes flash in my direction, he must have heard my hands slapping over my mouth to keep from being heard.

"My lord Elrond." Aragorn bowed in front of him while Elrond continued to stare in the direction of my corner for a few seconds before turning back to Aragorn when he cleared his throat. Man he's a lifesaver even when he doesn't realize it, stupid Ranger.

"I come on behalf of one whom I love. Arwen is dying. She will not long survive the Evil that now spreads from Mordor. The light of the evenstar is failing. As Sauron's power grows her strength wanes. Arwen's life is now tied to the fate of the ring. The shadow is upon us Aragorn. The end is come." Elrond took a seat, wrapping his cloak around his crossed legs, very much like a girl. But we won't say anything about this to anyone, worth importance anyway.

"It will not be our end, but his." You know what's funny, is this seems very familiar. Like between Aragorn and said King of Edoras, eh, who cares.

"You ride to war, but not to victory. Sauron's armies march on Minas Tirith, as you know. But in secret he sends another force, which will attack from the river. A fleet of Corsair ships sails from the south. They'll be in the city in two days. You're outnumbered, Aragorn. You need more men." Elrond never did come off to me as the one who stated the obvious; I suppose you learn something new everyday.

"There are none." Aragorn sat across from Elrond, thank god he didn't cross his legs, I don't think I would take well with a gay ranger and elf in the same tent. Ew..nasty images. Yech.

"There are those who dwell in the mountain."

"Murderers, traitors. You would call upon them to fight? They believe in nothing. They answer to no one." I could practically hear Aragorn's eyebrow rising up on his forehead.

"They will answer to the king of Gondor!" Elrond whipped out some sword that almost made Aragorn swallow his own foot with amazement. So I exaggerated, but you get what I meant. "Anduril, the Flame of the West, forged from the shards of Narsil."

"Sauron will not have forgotten the Sword of Elendil." Aragorn walked forward placing his hands on the sword like it would break again. If we're not careful, he might have a joy-gasm. Not something anyone wants to see. "The blade that was broken shall return to Minas Tirith."

"The man who wields the power of this sword can summon to him an army more deadly than any that walks this earth. Put aside the Ranger. Become who you were born to be. Take the Dimholt road." It's amazing how creepy his eyebrows make his smirks look, if I wasn't completely enthralled by the importance of this little meeting, I might have gone running away by now.

"Ónen i-Estel Edain." (I gave hope to the Dunedain.) Elrond finally covered those puppies back up with his hood.

"Ú-chebin Estel anim." (I have kept none for myself.) Well, that's a cryptic way to end a lovely conversation such as that one. Time to take my leave.

By the time I got back to my tent, it seemed Legolas had figured out about his little makeover this afternoon. Poor Gimli was the item of his fury. Gimli was sprouting twigs from hi ears and leaves in his beard and hair, I almost busted my gut trying not to laugh at the surly dwarf. Unfortunately Charlotte wasn't as good as keeping it in.

'What ever happened here master Gimli?" Charlotte asked when she finally caught up with us. He grumbled and glared before walking away and disappearing into what he assumed was his tent. Unfortunately it happened to be Eowyn's. She promptly screeched and threw him out. I had to lean against Charlotte as not to fall into the fire. That's how we were when Legolas approached us.

"Why hello miss Esme, where have you been?" He simpered wearing the most frightening expression I'd ever seen.

"Why taking a walk in the woods, why do you ask?" I smiled innocently and then looked pointedly at Charlotte who was too busy laughing at Legolas' face to help me.

"No reason, just wondering how you could leave such beautiful art work to roam around by itself is all." He shrugged, the strangled expression still present on his face.

"What ever do you mean by that master Legolas?" He pointed at his head, I couldn't help it, when but on the spot like that no one could contain there laughter. I was doubled over laughing when I heard him growl, so I tried to calm myself, I looked back up at him, which sent me into another fit.

"Are you quite finished yet?" HE snarled. I nodded.

"Oh come on, you know if it were me you would have do it too!" I said walking forward to give the poor fuming elf a hug. He stuck his nose in the air and crossed his arms. I shrugged and walked by him to Charlotte. I turned back to see his mouth wide open. Little horndog thought he had me. I wiggled my eyebrows and linked arms with Charlotte. "We're leaving soon darling, are you all ready?" I yelled back at the self pitying elf. I heard him curse, but it wasn't elvish, it was in dwarfish language. Been hanging around Gimli too much.

"Yes I am thank you."

"Good now we'll go clean your face. C'mon." I grabbed his hands and drug him half way to the wash stand when I caught sight of Eowyn and Aragorn. I threw Legolas behind a random bush, how convenient, and stared through the branches.

'What in the world was that for?" He asked picking leaves out of his hair. I pointed at them, I'm guessing he saw because he gasped like he saw a ghost or something.

"Why have you come?" He glared at her exasperatedly, wishing for nothing more than to get up on his horse and leave.

"Do you not know?" She looked at him like he was crazy, his mouth literally dropped, he had to know it was coming at some point in time. I felt Legolas make to stand beside me, so I jerked his legging's leg, you know what I mean. HE sat back down in a hurry with his eyes wide open, I couldn't help but laugh at him

"It is but a shadow and a thought that you love. I cannot give you what you seek." I punched my fist triumphantly in the air, you don't know how long I've waited to hear him tell her off, but then I felt Legolas tugging on my sleeve, I turned back to see that little prick touching her face. I jumped up and began to march towards him when he finally walked away from Eowyn. It looked like some one had finally told her how bad her cooking was. I left her crying in her little pity party and marched right up to Aragorn.

"Just where do you think you're going mister?"

"Good gracious, can some one not get the chance to leave with dignity!" He yelled up to the sky. 'What is it?'

'Where are you going?" I enunciated every syllable just to help him of course.

"I have a mission."

"Well I should hope you weren't thinking of going alone laddie." I jumped into Legolas' arm when Gimli popped out of nowhere.

"Why must you always do that?" I snarled. He ignored me, I heard Charlotte clear her throat, at least she warned me of her, Edward and Bart's approach. Gimli ignored me.

"Great, a going away party, just what I didn't want." Aragorn sighed exasperatedly at me before jumping on Brego. "Fine Gimli, if just get one and stay quite for the rest of the ride through the encampment you can come, only then." Gimli nodded and struggled a few minutes before finally managing to get on the horse. I smiled at Aragorn, who merely rolled his eyes at me and Legolas, who I realized was still holding me in his arms. I'm not planning on going anywhere soon if you know what I mean. Aragorn and Gimli then headed to the path in the mountains hoping to get the rest of the way without a disruption, I turned to the few of us left, we all looked apprehensive, except for Bart who was looking determinedly away from me and Legolas. What a prat. I jumped out of Legolas' arms and bopped him in the head.

'Wake up Bart; I hope you'll be ready to leave at dawn, the lot of you!" I said pointing to Charlotte and Edward as well, they all nodded before departing to finish readying themselves. "Are you ready? "I asked causing Legolas to jump from surprise, finally caught him off guard.

"As ready as ever I suppose."

'Good, we're leaving soon!" I smiled, gave him a kiss and ran of to my tent.

When morning came we met at the top of the trail heading down from Dunharrow, around us soldiers where gathering whispering rumors about why Aragorn had left, none even close to the true reason. I rolled my eyes and jumped up on Wheat Thins and waited for the other to follow my lead.

'Esme, Legolas! Could you not eat before you depart" I mentally cursed before turning to see Eowyn come running towards us with one of her famous stews. Bart looked ready to oblige but I kicked him in the shin to stop him.

"No thank you Eowyn, we must be going."

'Surely you are hungry?"

"NO. I mean no thank you. We aren't hungry."

"How is that possible?" damn nosy ass prick.

"Because…because elves don't eat? We just don't ever get hungry." I smiled ignoring the incredulous looks the other elves in my party were sending me; I gave a forced smile at Eowyn's bewildered expression.

"But surely I've seen you eat?"

"Yes, but that was an act, I didn't want you to find out the truth, alas seems I have spilled the beans so to speak." Legolas was fixing one of his "Let's see you get out of this one smoothly' smirks, so now I'm determined to make this work.

"Oh, I'm so sorry for forcing you; your secret is safe with me." She smiled at us all, I smirked at Legolas and the others who were staring at her like she was mental, which I don't doubt she was.

'Where may I ask are you going?" I wanted to have Wheat Thins kick her in the jaw, but I refrained I was saved from answering when Eomer walked forward.

"They leave because there is no hope" Eowyn looked startled before turning to face us with tears in her eyes. I had to stop myself from rolling my eyes.

"Yes my dear sir, I'm leaving because I think you will all fail, so I'm trying to run away so that when it does happened I can be left in a world with nothing but orcs and slaves. Yup, sounds about right." I turned my horse around and signaled to leave. I could feel a prickle in the middle of my shoulders which told me that Legolas was glaring at that point. Great just what I need this whole trip. He rode to the front to catch up with me; can anyone sense a lecture coming my way?

"Why did you do that?"

"Because they were being annoyingly nosy. I like my privacy thank you." He continued to glare. "Not good enough huh?" He shook his head. "Because I felt like being an ass ok? Better?" He nodded and smiled at me. Oh how he would pay. Edward rode forward breaking the silence that fallen upon us both.

"Do you know where we are going?" I fixed him with a glare.

'What do you think Sunshine?"

"No."

"We have a winner." I cheered!

"Well then let me lead us there!" I waved him on rolling my eyes until he rode in front of me. I could hear Legolas' snickering. Edward must have heard it to because it turned back around and glared.

'What is it Leggy?" That shut him up; it was my turn to laugh.

"It's beautiful." Was all I could say when I finally reached my ship. "Oh how I'd missed it." I literally flung myself against the side of it, only to have Edward roll his eyes and pry me off of it before carrying me up to the deck. Every eye turned to face the intruders. Or so they thought.

"Is, is, is that the captain?" A random voice called out, I was still in my happy place.

"Aye, it is." replied Bart, pulling our supplies aboard. "Call a meeting; we have a plan to unleash." No one moved. "I said call a MEETING!" He roared, still non one moved. "Have you gone daft while we've been gone?"

'No, we ain't got to listen to the likes o'you no more do we now the Capt.'s back." shouted another sailor. This popped me out of my state of delusion.

"You speak the truth good man; now do as Bart-o-mule says savvy?"

"Aye aye captain!" They rung the bell and began to gather on the deck. I took the time to show Legolas around the ship, hey, he'd never been on one before, it was only right.

"So you see, it is quite lovely is it not?" I asked smiling leaning against the side of the ship, it felt good to be home.

"I'm still a little iffy at the moment, give it a few hours, it might grow on me." The poor elf was already green, and we hadn't even started moving. I moved closer to him and was about to kiss him when we were rudely interrupted.

"Captain, we have some, ah, prisoners if you'd like to call them that." I whirled around to find Rian wringing his hands and blushing, poor little thing, only a minor in years. I smiled and threw my arm around his shoulder; he looked startled out of his mind at the contact.

'Well, take them too my young master. Well, after I change, hold that thought won't you." I pecked Legolas on the cheek and ran off to my chambers. They were still the way I left them, thank Eru. I grabbed a navy blue gown, with sleeves that hung at waist length. I braided my hair to the side as usual and ran back up deck. Legolas smiled and clasped my hand in his, while I motioned for Rian to lead us to the barracks.

"Well well well, look what the Krakken dragged in." I smirked at the man behind the bars. 'Who would have thought you finally got caught, by my men none the less?"

"Well, it wasn't really my fplan to get caught. I was just going to make off with the ship, but then I realized I couldn't do that with only me and this young man here Esme, surely you realize that." The Pirate pointed over his shoulder to the boy sitting behind him, he looked strangely familiar, but not someone I'd met before.

"Captain Jack Sparrow, behind bars at last. " I smirked at the expression on poor old Jack's face. "Jack, who is this boy ye have with you?" I asked placing my hands on my waist, just like him to capture some poor thing for ransom. "Rian, the keys if you please." Rian ran off to catch the dog who held the keys, why we have him I'll never know.

"This here is none other than Bootstrap Bills son." Jack said smiling and wiggling his eyebrows. I merely looked at the boy, he didn't look like much.

'Are you saying his father was a boot?"

Legolas was an idiot.

Author's Note: I suppose I should mark it as a cross over now, hmm…alright well. You know the deal, this time though, you get a choice between a freshly baked chocolate brownie, or a Legolas plushy you're the first to review! Woot! Exciting no?