Esmeralda, the Ear'Quessir.
Author's Note: Ok so, you don't know how exciting it was for me to check my emails, and to have found out, I know have 100 reviews. Yup, 100. I love you guys to death! Woot, you can tell I'm ecstatic! Anyway, on with the story!
Reviews:
bubblymuggle4: Hope you enjoy your little surprise I threw in there! Thanks!
Hikitsulover-818: Ahah, that's what made me write it, thinking how awkward that would have been.
Hallows07: Well thank you very much!
Readerfreak10: Glad you think so!
jennfire: Oh me too! I think I ate about a pound of them by myself!
Sparkling-stone: That was exactly what I was going for; sad thing is that's exactly how I am. Glad you're enjoying the story. P.S. I think it would be a little hard to find me…seeing as I'm never in one for a long time..mwuahaha.
Lettres d'amour: Still gotta love the cutie.
Slieu13: Thanks!
Chapter 25: Oh Snap!
"HOLY SHIT! YOU GUYS ARE TWINS!" I shouted pointing in between Legolas and Will. They both looked at each other, and then at me like I had ten heads. "What, don't tell me you can't see it..? You can can't you, Jack?"
"A little. Actually quite a lot." He caught sight of my glare obviously.
"Good, problem solved. I suppose I'll let you out now, I've got a meeting to attend, do be a good pirate and stay away from the Bridge?" I said patting Jack on the back as he walked out of the cell.
"Fine." He huffed and puffed like a little kid until Will boxed him in the ear, which started an all out slap battle that only ended when Jack ran into a wall. Dear Eru, what have I gotten myself into?
"What's going on then captain?" Rian pushed his way through the crowd to reach where Legolas, Jack, Will, Edward, Bart, Charlotte, and I stood watching the crew get settled.
"Well for starters, it's great to be back!" I shouted smiling, the crew just stared at me suspiciously, they were already on to me I bet. "Right well, here goes, no use beating around the bush, I mean really just get straight to the point is what I always say…"
"You're beating around the bush darling." Jack said cutting me off.
"Ah, so I am anyway….here goes nothing. Ithinkweshouldhelptheraceofmeninthebattleagainstsauronbecauseitisinourbestinterestaswell." I smiled at all the confused looks I was getting. Perfect, they didn't need to know what they were getting into.
"Wait a minute.." Damn .There always had to be a smart one. "You want us to sacrifice our lives for those of men?" shouted someone in the very back row.
"Precisely" Jack smiled at the crew who had now focused all attention on him.
"Jack, what are you doing?" I forced a smile at him.
"Only trying to help."
"Whatever. Anyways, technically it is in your best intrest. Because, if we don't help them fight and they lose, which the most likely will, we shall be negatively effected as well….because…..we…won't…we just will be."
"How so?" Someone should throw him over board.
"Because we'll run out of RUM!" Jack piped up from behind Edward. All of us turned to give him a strange look; he shrugged his shoulder in return.
"Yes." I said rolling my eyes." We'll run out of places to get rum."
"RUM? BUT WHY THE RUM?" shouted most of the crew.
"Because-"
"Because there will be no one to make anymore if all the men are killed." I turned to glare at Jack, he was stealing my spotlight. "Only trying to help love."
"AYE! We shall fight in this war! FOR THE RUM!" the crew stood and shouted agreement to the statement, my mouth was literally on the floor. I turned to look at Jack confusedly.
"Just threaten to take their rum, and pirates will do anything." He shrugged and waltzed towards the hull of the ship. I turned to Legolas who merely raised his eyebrow and shrugged.
"I hate pirates." I grumbled and stalked to the end of the ship. "Release the mooring line, release full sails, we've got no time to waste!" I leaned against the side of the ship waiting for us to finally make departure.
"Esme, where are we headed?"
"DEAR ERU! Can you stop sneaking up on me! I almost fell over board Will…er…Legolas…er…Will?!" I shouted trying to figure out which one it was, then I saw the ears, obviously it was Legolas. He was glaring quite ferociously now. "Sorry, my fault Legolas."
"Right. Where then?"
" Umm…I guess to the port closest to Minas Tirith." I smiled hoping it would help lessen the wound of being called Will. HE snorted and turned to leave. 'Oh come on, you can't blame me for calling you the wrong name! I mean you have to know you guys look alike, I mean it's not like I tried to kiss Will or anything?" I started waving my hands around like that was preposterous, until I saw Legolas face. 'Oh dear, I didn't say a word. I mean honestly, that can't happen, you know that!" His eyes looked like they were gonna pop out of his head, he turned and started to walk to where Will was talking with Jack. I took a running start and jumped on his back, and by the time he had gotten over to them, we both ended up rolling down the stairs and we finally got untangled Willa and Jack were laughing at our misfortune, so I lobbed a boot at Will, missed and hit Jack in the head, who fell down the stairs as well.
"Whose turn is it to laugh now?" grumbled Legolas making to stand, he slipped and fell back down.
'Mine still, apparently." Jack said grabbing the railing to help him up, he didn't get far before Legolas whacked the back of his knees making him fall again. Legolas was wearing a smirk until Jack returned the favor while Legolas was mid standing. I just sat and watched with interest, who would have thought Legolas to do such things?
"ARE YOU TWO THROUGH YET!" shouted Will making his way down the stairs, he slipped on some random hat lying on the stairs, Jack and Legolas stopped mid trip, looked at each other and bent over laughing. Will stood up and marched over to them and started yelling about being rude and obnoxious, and that's how my crew found us. Two laughing while being yelled at, while I sat on the floor crying with mirth.
"Do you think she's been gone so long that she already has scurvy?" Bart asked looking at me weirdly, that shut me up in a hurry.
"I most certainly do not have scurvy!" I placed my hands in my hip and thrust my nose in the air. "That's a preposterous notion!"
"What's scurvy? Sounds like a dance to me." Legolas said coming to stand next to me. This statement through Jack into a new laughing fit, Will now joining him. I started to chuckle until I saw his famous glare.
"Ok I'm sorry, I just have never met anyone who said scurvy sounded like a dance, I mean, come on, that's ridiculous." He continued to glare only now he had one eyebrow up. "Fine, scurvy a disease you get from a lack of nutrients of something. But there's no way I have it! No worries!" I added after catching his worried expression.
"No wonder the poor elf has so many wrinkles; he's had to be around you so long." Jack said standing to throw his arm around Legolas' shoulder, Legolas turned and glared at him, Jack pulled his arm off his shoulder and tried to play it off as nothing.
"I do not have wrinkles." Legolas pouted. It was just so darned cute I had to contain myself from glomping him right then and there.
"He would know too." I said acting like that was a ridiculous notion. "Or else I would have already counted them! He does everything in his power to keep his 'manly' physique." Will sniggered, but readily stopped when Legolas turned to glare at him. "Now, if he keeps glaring, he might actually form some glare lines on his forehead." This made the brunt of the glare land on me.
"I will not." Her huffed before crossing his arm and sticking his bottom lip out. You'd think he was still an elf ling the way he was acting. The crew just shook there head and left us standing there with a sulking elf. "Will I?" he whispered to me when everyone was gone. I couldn't help but laugh, he looked like his darkest nightmare was coming true. I swear, I thought he was gonna start hyperventilating.
"No, I was just kidding!" I said holding my hands up in his face. He let out the breath he had been holding for literally five minutes. I nearly expected him to place his hand on his chest and act like some girl about it. But he just smiled and headed after Jack. Now it was my turn to breathe, I always knew he was a pansy.
"You know, we've been on this ship for at least three days, and we still haven't gotten to your destination, but mine, is only a couple leagues from here, at most." Jack said trying to get my attention, he'd been bugging me to let him lead us to some strange island to help end some curse and kills some baddie pirates.
"Jack, no! I've made my mind, and even if I hadn't I wouldn't do that. I could drop you off on some island and let you swim there if you like!"
"No! No more islands. "He started shaking his head and hands, so I just turned to look at Will…er…I think it's Will?
"He must have run out of back hair."
"Right…" What a strange group of people.
"Esme love, couldn't you just take me to my ship! Then me and Will would be off your hands forever! Not to mention, Will's missing his bonnie lass that's on my ship. Surely you can recognize what that feels like."
"I assure you, I can't. Not interested in other women, sorry. And why are you on my ship, if you have a ship?"
"He doesn't." I turned to look at Will who was trying his best to hide behind Legolas so that Jack wouldn't find him.
"I do so! Stop telling lies Legolas! I don't know you well enough yet!" Jack said brandishing his finger at him.
"I didn't say a word! It was your little friend here!" Legolas said pointing to Will who waved at Jack.
"Anyway, sorry about your girl, but I've got more important things to deal with." I patted Will, I think it's Will on the shoulder, and wrapped my arms around Legolas.
"I'm already taken, remember, we just had this conversation."
"SHIT! Sorry Will!" I ran over to stand next to Legolas who was laughing at my insane blush. "Yeah yeah, yuk it up you big pansy."
"Can't you just help us to rescue Elizabeth, then you can go on you're merry way to war. Please, I'm begging you." Will said, practically falling to his knees. I looked to Edward who shrugged.
"What say you Edward, should I help these two blighters in need?"
"I don't know, you're the captain, you have to decide." Edward shrugged before running away from the pail aimed at his head.
"Fat lot of help you are!" I shook my fist at his retreating back until jack cleared his throat bringing me back to the matter at hand. "Oh fine, we'll go save the girl, and then we'll go to war. First, what do I get out of this?"
"More people to fight in this war with you." Jack said smiling.
"Oh boy, one more person, fat lot that will do."
"Two."
"What?"
"There will be two."
"Two what, Jack, what are you going on about?"
'Two more people to fight in this war with you. Will and his lass."
"HEY! If we're fighting, you're going to fight to you cheating pirate!" Will stood to hit Jack, who ran behind Legolas, who looked confused, as usual. 'Don't make decisions for us, if we fight, you fight."
"Ah but see, we're not going to rescue my girl, so I am in no way in debt to this fine pirates as you are good sir."
'Actually, I believe you will be." Oh-ho, so Legolas had been paying attention.
"How so good elf?" Jack said through a forced smile.
"You'll be getting your ship back as well, will you not?" Jack looked as if he could have hit Legolas, but decided better of it considering he was an elven warrior, ad Jack was, well, just Jack.
"Aha! Jack Sparrow you will have to fight now!" Will shouted jumping around like he'd won some ferocious battle.
"It's Captain, Captain Jack Sparrow." Jack said sulking.
"Won't be until you're on your ship I'm afraid. Here's a deal, if I help you to get your girl, and your ship, then you must help me fight in the war. I won't budge on any part of it."
"Um, I guess it wouldn't do to say, Parlay would it?" Well he just beat Legolas out for the stupidest statement I'd ever heard.
"No, it wouldn't. Stupid." I shook my head and turned to Will for there decision.
"Done." I reached to shake his hand only to have it slapped away by Jack.
"No, it is not done." He turned to glare at Will. "I told you not to do something stupid." He whispered.
"I can hear you."
"Damn you elves and your hearing." Jack muttered before turning back around.
"Done." Will said over his shoulder.
"STILL NOT DONE!' Jack shouted trying t hide Will behind his dread locks. 'I'm CAPTAIN SO I GET TO DECIDE!"
"Captain of what ship might I ask?" Legolas, the poor confused elf.
"No ship." Will said smirking at Jack.
"I have a ship. It's just not with me." Jack turned back to me. "I say what is done, and I don't like the deal."
"Then no ship." He shrugged. "Or anymore of my rum. And you still have to fight in the war."
"But why the rum?" I shrugged and turned to walk away before he ran to cut me off. "Fine, it's done. But can I have some rum now?" I rolled my eyes and nodded before walking around him.
"I suppose you should turn the ship to port side, we're making a pit stop my friends!"
"Why, does someone have to go to the potty?" Bart asked looking down form the crows nest. The entire crew had a sweat drop moment.
"So how exactly do you want us to save this girl, and get you're ship?" I asked Jack as we boarded the dinghies to use to get to shore. Will, Jack, Legolas and I where in one, while Bart Edward, Rian, and Charlotte filled the other.
'Well, here was what I was thinking. We could all rush in, scare the bloody pirates, end the curse, kill them all and then happily row out to the Pearl sitting behind those shoals there. With Miss Swan of course." We all stared at him, what an idiot. "Only joking."
"Fine, I'll decide, Edward take your ship and go out to the pearl, make it ready to sail. I'll take my ship and we'll rescue said girl, and meet you back at the Pearl, once upon the ship, we shall return to our own, and Jack will follow us to port, savvy?" Edward nodded before signaling to head out.
"Why can't I go with them to the ship?" Jack asked looking longingly in the direction of the Black Pearl.
"Because we know you'll never come back." I think it was Will said starting to row towards the caves.
"I'm still not exactly sure where we are." Yup, that must be Legolas, as confused as ever when it comes to the sea. See if we were on land, he'd be the one directing us everywhere, I finally found something I'm better than him at! Woot! Victory dance.
" Esme, you're rocking the boat." Opps, can't do that then.
"We're now entering the Isla de Muerta. Now we must all be quiet, and not do, anything, stupid." He gave a pointed look at Will before rowing into the darkness of the cave.
"Look, through there, they're all gathered right there. And Elizabeth, she's at the top. Do you see it? "Will whispered pointing through the hole in the wall we were hiding behind.
"Yes, believe me, if you can see it, we can see it better." I said patting Will on the back, hoping he would calm down soon.
"For ten years we've been tested and tried, and each man jack of you here has proved his mettle a hundred times over and a hundred times again!" Some old man was standing at the top of a mound of treasure brandishing his dagger around like a maniac, if he wasn't careful he was going to take that poor girls head off. She must have realized it too because she stuck her next a little to the right so he couldn't hit her. "Punished, we were. The lot of us - disproportionate to our crimes! Here it is ..the cursed treasure of Cortés himself. Every last piece that went astray, we have returned...save for this. " He pointed the dagger at the girls neck causing Will to try to run forward.
"Not yet!" Jack snapped holding him back.
"Why won't you just let me shut him from here?" Legolas asked, only he didn't whisper it, and even the deafest of people could have heard him, and they did.
"Who's there?" asked the man who I am guessing is the captain. "We already know you're there, we heard you, no use hiding now." I heard something slide and turned to see Jack slinking slowly back to the dinghy to make a get away, I nudged my head to get Legolas' attention; he caught my drift and jumped on Jack so he couldn't move.
"Wow, wow, wow. What, a touching story" I stood and stepped over the wall to get in the light of the room. "Man, I'm glad I came all this way, to find out about this lovely story. Man, it just makes my heart sing." I placed a hand over my heart and smiled at the pirates who were looking at me as confused as hell. I looked at Elizabeth who was staring at me warily, and then back down to the pirates who were still staring so I did the most mature thing; and made a weird face back.
"You are rather immature aren't you?" Legolas asked form the floor, guess he saw my expression.
"You wouldn't like me any better if I weren't."
"Who are you?" The captain asked walking to me, he left Elizabeth unattended, so I started waving my hands like a maniac for her to start running away, she only looked at me like and idiot.
"GO STUPID!!!" I shouted The Captain raised his eyebrow. "I mean GO, AWAY STUPID TEARS! Your sad story, man it turned on the water works." I acted like I was crying, and caught her making a face of understanding before heading down the back side of the mound she was standing on. At least she understood common.
"Of course, who did you say you were again?" He was getting closer, he smelled like decaying meat.
"Ew, man, they have stuff to help that odor." I wrinkled my nose trying not to throw up.
"Who are ye!" He shouted, his breath was even worse than his B.O.
"I, am a poor shipwrecked maiden, lost at sea." I pretended to fake cry until I noticed he wasn't buying it. "Fine, what do you want from me?"
"Your name would be nice."
"I'm, Captain, er….Speedy Clack Clack Clack." His eyebrows rose up to his hairline. "My ship crashed on the other side of this island, and I swam in and found myself this cave full of treasure, and decided to stay." He narrowed his eyes.
"Did ye take any treasure out of the chest?"
"No, why should I have? Is it the best? You know I thought it was gonna be the best, but I changed my mind and went for,..that….crown. Over there. Ain't it a beaut?"
"Good. Now I won't feel so bad killing ye." He smiled before turning to leave. Shit, I knew he was gonna find out Elizabeth was missing and go looking for her; I just hope she got away.
"Wait! Why would kill me? I've done nothing to you." I smiled my most dashing smile, and caught Will and Elizabeth sneaking behind me, Legolas motioned for me to hurry up and leave. "Oh fine, if you must, shoot me now. At least I won't have to smell you anymore. Gah." I spread arms out and stood waiting to hear the shoot go off, but nothing happened. I opened my eyes to see him just staring at me. "What?"
"Ye are a strange one. I like you."
"Oh man, I'm sorry; I'm already involved with some one. Some one you might now. In fact, I know you know him. His name is Jack, Captain Jack Sparrow." I smiled at the fact that I could practically hear Jack's mouth fall open.
"Are ye now? Well don't that beat all? Did ye hear that lads? He lived." They all shouted in outrage. I smiled. "How is it he came to survive then?"
"You know, all I've heard, is it had something to do with back hair, but I'm not sure how. But I can tell you guys don't like him, so, if you let me go, I can kill him for you. A life for a life? Eh? Fair enough?" The man started laughing, his hot breath getting all in my face. I closed my eyes and scrunched my nose hoping to stop at least some of the smell from knocking me out.
"Would you know?"
"Yup, I would." I smiled, he started to laugh, more stanky air coming my way. "Got mints?" I whispered, I heard Legolas snicker, but Captain Stinky didn't hear me.
"Fine, a deals a deal." He did this weird thing with his eyes and then turned back around to head back amongst his pirates, as soon as he had turned all the way around I was about to run, he whipped back around, I caught myself mid flight and smiled. "Tell him I said hello before you do it, won't ye?"
"Certainly." I said smiling.
"Thank ye." He made to turn, I turned to run, but I heard him turning back around so I smiled and waited. "Thank him for my ship won't ye?"
"Definitely." I nodded. He made to turn again, so I began to turn.
"And for my loyal crew, and all this treasure. Make sure you enunciate loyal won't ye?"
"Sure. Anything." He nodded and began to turn around, but whipped back around, I cut him off. "In fact I'll tell him you said thanks for the hat, thanks for letting you be captain, thanks for all the good times of watching you standing on that island, and thanks most of all, for dying. Sound good?" I was now giving him a smile I know looked insane. He nodded and turned, and stayed that direction and walked down the hill. I took that chance to jet out of there.
"Well, that went well." I said smiling once I reached the dinghy. No body moved. "Well, it wouldn't be a good idea to just sit here like this considering they're probably gonna come running and screaming trying to find both me and this girl. So.. MOVE!" Legolas and Jack started rowing faster than I'd ever seen them do it before. "Much better. Now, my name is Esme, and I assume you are Elizabeth?" I stuck my hand out for her to shake; she just looked at it disgustedly.
"It's Miss Swann." Why that little my temper. I forced a smile.
"Elizabeth, she just helped to save you, be nice." Will whispered furiously.
"But she is a pirate." Elizabeth said just as nicely.
"She's sitting right here, and can hear everything you're saying. Now, Elizabethhhhh," I smirked at her glare, "I just helped to save your little damsel in distress self, so you could at least act a little bit more thankful. Or if you want, I can throw you over board now to be found by those enraged pirates, who would most likely drain every once of blood in your body just to make sure they didn't chose the wrong person. You're choice darling." I smiled at the incredulous look she was giving me. Will looked scared himself. "Now then, I wonder if Edward and the others got everything fixed up right for leaving, we'll have no time to waste."
"I'm sure they have." Legolas said through his chuckles.
"I'll have you know, they can walk under water." Jack piped up, looking queasy. "And they will most likely follow us to where ever we go." I felt my heart drop.
"Thanks for that lovely bit of information you've decided to give us so late." I smiled; I could feel my eye twitching.
"Esme, are you alright?" Legolas whispered, looking frightened.
"Fantastic, I just feel like I had a conversation with Death itself, and now I know that Death is indeed following me to war. Lovely omen wouldn't you say?" I smiled broadly at the occupants of the dinghy. "Oh by the way, Jack, I'm supposed to kill you and the Captain said thanks for a lot of things before I kill you, so there you go. And now seems like a good time to end you're life you no good lying cheat. "I lunged at him only to have Will grabbed me around my waist and sit on my lap to keep me from moving.
"That will have to wait until we've gotten aboard the pearl and won't have to be worried about getting caught." Will said trying to calm me down.
"Good idea Will and look it's there." Jack said pointing to the ship looming a few leagues away form us. "So, please, wait until I've had sometime to say good bye to it." I nodded before sitting down in the back of the dinghy and sulked.
"Stupid Pirates."
Author's Note: So tell me what you think! And just to let you know, this event will play a big role in the next few chapters; it just wasn't a time waster! Hope you enjoy! This weeks prize, a wonderful, manly, good boy gone pirate, WILL TURNER, in the flesh. Enjoy!