Esmeralda, the Ear'Quessir

by Obi wan Kanoli

What if Aragorn had met a pirate in past years as a ranger? What if he had called on her to help in the war of the Ring? Tenth walker. POTCXLOTR Sequel Now up, The Dead Man's What?

30. Chapter 30

Esmeralda, th Ear'Quessir.

Author's Review: Back to back updates! You should feel honored. Just joshing, anyway, enjoy.

Reviews:

Readerfreak10: Thats what she said! Sorry, just had to throw that out there, it was national 'That's what she said" day today, and I've been saying it all day, now it's just habit.

emerald lady: Rad.

Hikitsulover-818: No worries, I know how that feels. That happened to my laptop two weeks ago when I had a major paper due, and I obviously couldn't get it off the computer, so I was screwed. And now I don't have a laptop, boo-hoo.

Chapter 30: The Last Debate. How lame.

"Esme. Esme. Esme! At least keep you eyes open so you look somewhat awake!" I squirmed away from Legolas' finger that was digging into my side to keep me awake. It's not my fault I haven't slept in a while and that Gandalf is not a great public speaker. I mean honestly, he even makes the end of the world sound boring.

"Frodo has passed beyond my sight. The darkness is deepening." Gandalf glared over in our direction before shaking his head and choosing to ignore us. Best decision he's made all night.

"If Sauron had the Ring, we would know it. "Aragorn placing his forehead in his hand.

"No shit Galadriel." I piped up before hiding behind Legolas to make it look like he said, it didn't work, Aragorn threw something at my head instead.

"It's only a matter of time. He has suffered a defeat, yes, but, behind the walls of Mordor our enemy is regrouping." Gandalf shook his head and continued to look straight at Aragorn and no one else, maybe it's because he really wanted to laugh, but is choosing not to?

"Let him stay there. Let him rot! Why should we care? " I cheered with Gimli before Aragorn's glare shot me down.

"I think it would be best if we didn't actually, and I don't now anything about this Frodo character." Legolas practically knocked me over jerking his bow out and whirling to aim it Edward, Charlotte, Jack, Will, and Elizabeth: Jack held his hands above his head acting like nothing was wrong with him just walking into a very private meeting. I think Legolas should just let go, but he didn't. "Hold on mate, I'm on your side."

'Who are you?" Gandalf stood up trying to look all high and mighty, I bet if I poked him he'd deflate. Oops, Legolas caught on to what I was trying and pulled me back down, he know has me in a very tight hug, not to show his love I mean.

"Captain Jack Sparrow, I really didn't mean to interrupt your top secret meeting of friends but, Esme, we've got a bit of a problem." He smiled and jerked his head over tot eh door? I squinted my eyes, he kept jerking his head.

"What? Is there a draft or something?"

"THE PIRATES! DID YOU FORGET ABOUT BARBOSSA!" Elizabeth shouted pulling away from Will and running to put her face closer to mine, I pulled an face and jerked back from her.

"Sorry, love."I smiled and continued to hold my face away from hers, Will finally came and caught his brod, I was scared I might have a cramp in there for a while. "I haven't forgotten, there's only been a minor set back."'

"OH and what's that? You're own problems?" She snarled trying to break free again, I ran behind Aragorn who looked as confused as Legolas usually is. Speaking of which, he was primping his nails in a corner minding his own business, I suppose he was trying to contain him self from jumping up and bragging that he knows whats going on.

'Now look here little missy, I didn't get you into that problem, only helped you out of it, you deal with it." I smiled and continued to hide behind the ranger who was sharing confused looks with Gandalf, man I feel smart for knowing something they don't. Let me revel in my victory for a moment.

"Yes but you were on the ship as well, they want you also."

"Oh contrare my lady, they only want you and de William." I winked at Jack who was glaring intently, the look didn't go well with his facial structure, I'm not going to tell him that though.

"What is that supposed to mean Esme?" Will was the one who was in my face this time, tut tut, they need to learn to back up, I breathed in his face, he moved back very quickly.

"Nothing it means nothing Will, we've just got to find a solution for our problem." Jack urged, giving me a pointed look, which I pointedly decided to ignore.

"They want your blood to end the curse. Opps, did I say to much?" Jack was grinding his teeth so hard I bet even the dwarf could hear it.

"Esme,can I speak with you for a moment?" I nodded. "In private."

"Oh yeah sure." We walked around the corner and the first thing he did was push me into the wall.

"WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT TELLING HIM AND OR ANYOTHER PERSON ABOUT HIM??" He was breathing so hard I thought he was going to explode, good thing he didn't.

"Not too?"

"Right, and what did you do?"

"Ignore you?" He snarled before jerking me back into the main room, all the heads swiveled in opposite directions when we came back in. Damn rubber neckers.

"Anyway, back to the point, guess you guys are screwed to say the least." I smiled sweetly before sitting back down by Legolas who had yet to pay any attention to the current predicament.

"That's it. You're not going to help us then?"

"Nope, I did what I set out to do for you all, and you helped me, debt resolved." I smiled her eyes turned black and she lunged at me and scaled over the table. Running now.

"STOP!" I got close lined by an old wizard Do you know how embarrassing that is for an elf? "This is ridiculous! We have more pressing matters than a bunch of unruly pirates chasing two dumb girls!" My mouth just it the floor, rolling up sleeves now. Not going anywhere, Legolas has found a way to keep me from moving, I'm currently tied to a column.

"A thought just crossed my mind." we all turned to Gimli who had been silent.

"So a thought crossed your mind??" I asked turning towards him. 'That must have been a long and lonely journey." Gimli looks like he wants to chop my head off with his ax, remind me to stay away from him when we next fight.

"This is not the time for your childish games Esme." Gandalf whispered, I suppose I should stop.

"Well as I was saying, didn't you say they were cursed pirates?" We all nodded. " Well, why don't we have some one take whatever they need and end the curse?" He actually did have a brain up in all that hair.

'Hey that's not that bad, we could get one of my crew to do it, since they don't know what they all look like. Will, I'll be needing that trinket, and some blood if you will." He looked at me like I was an idiot.

"Why would I give it to you? You'd run off with it." I rolled my eyes, he really was an idiot.

'WRONG! I don't need your little piece of gold, or blood actually. Here's whats gonna happen, I'm going to have..hmm...BART! I'm going to have Bart take the gold and your blood back to the Isle de cursed Aztec gold, end the curse, and we KILL THEM ALL! MWUAHAHAH. Done."

"Will that work?"

"Why not?" Legolas cleared his throat, obviously something was up. I whirled on him "What?"

"Well, what are we to do with the fact that we now have this problem to deal with, and Gandalf had some very important plans." We all turned to Gandalf who looked pointedly at Aragorn, obviously they'd finished the meeting without the rest of us.

"Well? Spit it out Aragorn."

"We're supposed to ride the black gate and draw Sauron's army out, giving Frodo and Sam free passage." He squirmed under or incredulous glares. What a dumb idea. What does he want to do, kill the people we were fighting to keep a live in the first place?

"We cannot achieve victory through strength of arms. " Eomer stood, without his ugly helmet hair.

"HOLY MESS WHERE DID YOU COME FROM!" That wasn't me this time. Elizabeth was clutching her heart and leaning against Will, who was trying desperately to stop his shaking. From laughter I mean. I feel pretty good now that it wasn't me that time. Legolas even tried to be smart by saying something about it, I stuck my tongue out at him, and continued to try and untie my bonds. Yes, I was still tied to the column.

"I was here the whole time." Man he gave her the LOOK. I mean the look that says, my your a dumb ass brod, that's why women like you need to stay in the kitchens. She turned to glare at me when I started to chuckle. I can't help it I agree with him, about her anyways.

"Not for ourselves, but we can give Frodo his chance if we keep Sauron's eye fixed upon us -- keep him blind to all else that moves." Aragorn looked at Eomer like he was an idiot, and I bet he feels like one too. So sure I sided with Eomer as well, but, I don't really care, I'm not doing any of the planning so it doesn't matter to me actually.

"A diversion." Legolas popped up and started smiling all around like an idiot.

"Good boy Legolas, you deserve a cookie. Too bad I'm tied up so I can't give you one." I grinned at his glare, and then made kissie faces at him, he just snorted and turned back to Aragorn who was blatantly trying to ignore us.

"Certainty of death, small chance of success. What are we waiting for?" Gimli slammed his tankard onto the table and smiled through his wet beard. What a sloppy thing he is, it kinda grosses me out a little bit.

"Sauron will suspect a trap. He will not take the bait. " Gandalf whispered closing his eyes, he hardly has them open now a days, I guess he really is getting old, old fart.

'Is that what you think?" He nodded and looked at me like and idiot, "Is that what you all think?"they nodded their heads as well. "Well, YOU'RE ALL WRONG!" I shouted and laughed when they jumped, Legolas groaned and Aragorn sighed before walking over to me.

"Do me a favor."

'Yes?"

'Do shut up." Well, how rude.

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"Bart darling, you've hear the plan haven't you?" I had Bart cornered in the stables trying to stay quite so we could do this as quickly as possible, we really had no time to waste. I know Barbossa and his mindless zombies would be popping up anytime soon, maybe we can make it to the gate first so that we can use them again. Hey, why not?

"Somewhat. But why did you chose me? Why not Leg-o-las." He waved his hands around like a dork, I just wanted to slap him.

'That's why."

"What is?"

"You annoy me, anyway, here's sir William's blood if you will," I handed Edward the coin covered in blood and smiled at the face Bart made at it. "Suck it up, e a man. And good luck." I patted him on the back and started to walk away.

"That's all you're going to say to me, and I could die?" He looked pissed beyond belief, don't even know why, he could take some pirates I know it. I acted like I was thinking for minute, you know, just to make him feel good.

"Yup. Bye." I turned to go but he grabbed my arm and whirled me back around.

'After all our times together, that's it?"

'Eru, you make it sound like you're going to your funeral. You'll make it through it sheesh, what do you want me to do, admit my undaunted love for you? I think not."

"You don't?" Whoa, stop the press, when did I ever lead him on? Unless he thought when I would hit him I was flirting.

'Um, no. I like someone else, where have you been you dork?" He glared and turned to go , I shook my head and also turned to go, who needs moody angsty emo pirates, not me.

"Fine, I see how it is, go to Legolas then, I care not." He tried to make some brave face as if he didn't care, it didn't work.

"Ok." I waved and continued walking, he was such a drama queen.

'Alright I lied, please tell me you return my feelings?" He was practically crying. I just shook my head and mouthed no. He acted like I had pierced his heart. "All these feelings I've shared with you!!ablskdjfna;ewncasidjf"

"You are the weakest link! Goodbye.." With that I ran away before I had a mental breakdown on my hands. That my friends, is why I never liked Bartholomew, my first mate. Really, I promise you, that's why.

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"You guys, I need a horse." I pouted and looked pointedly at Charlotte and Edward who were on two different horses, they blew me off, so then I worked my charm on Will and Elizabeth, they ignored me as well. "Fine. Be that way."

"Didn't you know, your horse is here." Aragorn pointed to the stables like I should have known thats where she was.

"Thanks for the heads up there buddy, now I have to go and still get her ready. Stupid rangers don't tell people nothing. Wait, whose horse is it really?" I turned to glare at him.

"Yours, I believe you named it, Thin Wheat? Or some crazed name." I didn't even hear the last part, I was already sprinting off to the stables to find Wheat Thins. What an amazing name. I plowed through all the other soldiers mounting their steeds and finally found Wheaty in the very last stall, she was eating wheat. Surprise surprise. She barely even looked up at me while I put all her tack on, she was too busy stuffing her face, I guess she thought this would be the last time she ever got to eat anything. Morbid horsey.

"Are you ready yet?" I yelped and whacked my head on the wall to the stall which made wheat Thins jerk up and smack her head, and then I heard the stupid elf int eh background laughing.

'NO thanks to you Legolas." I grumbled and finished tacking my horse before walking out to join him. Legolas put out his hand as if to help me, which I was gladly going to use until I remembered last time he helped me mount my horse. I backed away and stared at him ,he just raised his eyebrow and stared back. 'You don't have any rope on you, do you?" I controlled the urge to frisk him, I don't know how he would take that, especially in public.

"No. Just get on you horse Esme." Keeping a wary eye on him I walked over to the mounting block, and then got on my horse, and rolled his eyes and just jumped on his horse as pretty as could be. Pansy.

"What kept the two of you, getting a little friendly?" Jack smiled and wiggled his eyebrows pervertedly, so I kicked him a good one in the shin, hard to manage, but I try.

"No, Esme was frightened I would tie her up again." Legolas grumbled ignoring the looks I was giving him. He honestly wasn't upset about that was he? Now seriously thats a little much to get upset about.

'Hey! I had good reason!" I shouted trying to get him to listen to me, he scoffed and kept going. Stupid elves, so temperamental.

"Hush you two, we have a long ride ahead of us and I sure as hell don't' want to deal with the two of you fighting all the way there, understood?" Aragorn stopped his horse in front of mine and Legolas and glared at us until we agreed.

'Yes father." His glare just got darker. "Okay, keep going before you suck the life out of me with that glare you got going on, sheesh." Legolas snorted so I stuck my tongue out at him before smiling as largely as I could, he just started to snicker before riding up after Aragron. I swear I heard him say something about falling in love with an elfling, and I resent that. I thought he loved me, not some little kid. Oops said that out loud. He turned and gave me a very pointed look, guess I was wrong.

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It took us about three hours to finally reach the black gates, by that time, Edward and I had resorted to singing any song that came tom mind, except for his favorite one, I don't think I could have handled it yet. Aragorn, Gandalf, and Jack had all placed pieces of balled up leaves in their ears so they wouldn't hear us, do we just decided to sing louder so that the leaves didn't work. It was amazing, I don't think I've ever seen Aragorn that shade of purple before.

"You ought not to vex him so." Legolas turned back to face me. Wow, he still knows how to talk.

' Yes mommy." He glared, I just stuck my tongue out before riding up to join him. "Cheer up buttercup."

"I am happy." He looked at me funny, before smiling like an idiot, I almost fell off my horse laughing. "See, I'm fine."

'Whatever you do, don't ever do that." I was still trying to catch my breathe.

"What, smile?" He did it again, only this time Aragorn saw it, his mouth hit the floor and his eyes became the size of saucers.

"Who are you, and what have you done with the serious elf I used to know?" Aragorn stopped and allowed us to catch him.

"I ravaged him,body and soul, he no longer exists." I smirked at how blood red Legolas turned. Aragorn started to laugh as well, soon we were all laughing, most of us didn't even know why.

"See, you are worth something Esme." I turned to see Gandalf smirking.

"Oh, wizard got jokes huh? Let me tell you something mister..." I was cut off by Aragorn who turned to halt the riders, guess we'd made it.

"Where are they?" I wheeled around to see Pippin on a little pony behind me, I wonder how long he'd been there.

"The whole time love." Legolas smiled at me confused look, what am I, a book now? "No, it was just something you would ask, I guess." I continued to look at him. "Ok fine, I really guess but, now I just know it ok?" I snorted and look past him at Aragorn, who decided he wanted to ride to the gate, dumb man really. So of course a big group of us decided to follow, including, me, Edward, Charlotte, Jack, Will, Edward, Gandalf, Legolas, Gimli ,Eomer, and Pippin. Loverly bunch huh?

"Let the Lord of the Black Land come forth! Let justice be done upon him! " Aragorn shouted waving his little sword around as if that would scare anyone. Apparantly it did something because the gate opened, but only one thing came out.

"Oh yes Eomer, we're going to lose." Jack said turning on the new King of Edoras, said boy raised his eyebrow at him and jerked his head towards the gate as if telling him to wait.

"EWWWW!! Look at that thing! That's is disgusting! Gah, do you know what brushing your teeth is?" I about threw up right then and there, me and Elizabeth, who was clutching her mouth and open and closing her eyes , were both trying to get over the hideousness of the thing that came to greet us. All you could see was his mouth, of brown, gross, disgusting, chompers, surround by dried black lips.. I get shivers just thinking about it, unfortunately when I shouted that out, said thing turned it's head in my direction. "Nice creature?" Aragorn was glaring at me pretty hard.

"My master, Sauron the Great, bids thee welcome. Is there any in this rout with authority to treat with me?" the Mouth said, black spittle fell down his chin as he talked. I believe I'm crying, Legolas is smirking at me, so I took one of his arrows and began to tickle his ears with it, and he can't really move to get away from me, I feel so much better now.

"We do not come to treat with Sauron, faithless and accursed. Tell your master this: The armies of Mordor must disband. He is to depart these lands, never to return. " Gandalf sat all high and mighty on his horse, but I saw him deflate when the mouth turned to him, even ugly things scare the mightiest of men.

"Ahah. Old Greybeard. I have a token I was bidden to show thee." He searched around his little pack on his horse, did I mention that was just as ugly, before he found what he wanted. It was Frodo's mithril shirt. I saw Pippin squirm on his horse.

"Frodo!"

'Shut up." I glared at him, he just continued to glare at the Mouth of Sauron, said creature started to laugh, it was actually even more disgusting seeing him laugh.

"Oh now you want to stay mum on things?" Jack whispered furiously, one glare by Aragorn shut him up though. I stuck my tongue out at him. The mouth chose that moment to lob Frodo's shirt at Gandalf, too bad he missed and it hit me, and all most knocked me off y horse. You try being hit by metal and see if you don't almost fall?

"Frodo!" Pippin continued to whisper his name, I slapped me hand over his mouth and smiled At Gandalf who was glaring so hard he could have melted us both right then and there. Good things looks can't kill, or I'd be dead ten times over.

"Silence." what does it look like I'm trying to do?

"NO!" Mere shouted from Pippin's left, I couldn't reach that little munchkin.

"SILENCE!" Gandalf roared at the two of them, they finally stopped. The Mouth of Sauron continued to laugh, yuck.

"The halfling was dear to thee, I see. Know that he suffered greatly at the hands of his host. Who would've thought one so small could endure so much pain?" Gandalf handed Pippin the shirt, the poor hobbit was silently crying over it now. "And he did, Gandalf. He did. Ahah. " Aragorn chose that moment to ride forward. I was going to put Gandalf motioned for me to stop. For once I listened.

"And who is this? Isildur's heir? It takes more to make a king than a broken Elvish blade." The Mouth of Sauron leered at Aragorn for a few minutes, before Aragorn chopped his head off. Well, that was a shocker.

" Well that's the way to end things." I smiled at Aragorn who just rolled his eyes.

"I guess that concludes negotiations. " Gimli grunted from behind Legolas. A little late isn't he?

"I do not believe it. I will not." Aragorn signaled for us to return back tot he ranks, right as the gate started to open. "FALL BACK!" We sure did, there were thousands of orcs swarming out of the gates, they really looked like ants there were so many of them. They could cover the world ten times over. Aragorn rides in front us of us as the orcs continued to swarm out, I saw Merry take a step back, loser.

"Hold your ground! Hold your ground! Sons of Gondor, of Rohan! My brothers! I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me! A day may come when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship. But it is not this day. An hour of wolves and shattered shields, when the age of men comes crashing down. But it is not this day! This day we fight! By all that you hold dear on this good Earth. I bid you stand, Men of the West! " Aragorn really could be motivational, when he wanted to. I pretended to wipe a tear, Legolas smacked me in the arm. Around us, everyone was pulling out there weapons, so I did it as well, I think I cut off a lock of Elizabeth's hair, on accident, oh well, who cares.

"Never thought I'd die fighting side-by-side with an elf. " Both Legolas and I turned to look at the dwarf, how random was that.

"What about side-by-side with a friend? " Legolas replied, smiling, I think my mouth just hit the ground.

"Aye, I could do that." That's it, I slung my arms around the idiots and began to cry.

'YOU GUYS! Look! You made me cry! You stupid saps!"Gimli laughed and Legolas just smiled at me before kissing me.

'Esme, now really, is this really the best time to be doing that?" I whirled around to see Morgan smirking at me, where did he come from? "I've been here the whole time hunny." I just smiled at him ,before getting back onto my horse, yes, without a mounting block.

"Aragorn. Elessar. " I turned to look at Aragorn who was mesmerized by the eye that was calling to him, not something we needed.

"Hey fag face!' He didn't move so I threw a pebble at him ,he jerked back to look at me with his eyebrow raised, I shrugged my shoulders and acted like I hadn't seen anything.

"For Frodo. " Aragorn smiles at me and Legolas before turning and running at the orcs, who now completely encircled us. Yeah, we're screwed. I smiled and began to run after him only to have Legolas pull me back. I glared at him.

"Amin mela lle" (I love you.) I stared at him, that's why he kept me back like that, he really needed tog et his priorities straight.

"Amin mela lle ner." (I love you more.) I winked at him and then turned to run after the ranger who was battling by himself. Unfortunately, I got held back, again. "What is it now Legolas?"

"Ello poppet." Damn those undying pirates. I smiled and patted him on his head before ducking the sword of an oncoming orc, it hit his shoulder and he let me go.

"Bye bye!" I ran off in the opposite direction right by were Elizabeth and Will were fighting side by side, I grabbed Elizabeth and continued to run.

'Where are you taking her/me!" the two of them started yelling, I just continued to drag her away with me. "I demand you let me go!' She started struggling and I stopped to let go of her.

"Fine, enjoy your life with pirates." I bowed and began to run away but she followed soon after me.

"OK, what do we do?"

" Well, I'm not sure." I stopped to take a swipe at an on coming orc, cleaving three of them a time, you know, if I had really tried to do that, I wouldn't have been able too. "just run until we think of something. We have to give Bart some time to get there before we can actually kill them you know?' Just then Jack ran by being chased by Barbossa, Elizabeth and I shared looks before running after them. Until I got closed lined by Aragorn.

"What are you doing Esme?" He looked pissed beyond belief.

'Trying to rid the world of pesky pirates, and you?" I smiled his glare became even darker.

"Trying to save the world, why are you not standing and fighting?" Just then Jack ran by again, Aragorn followed his line of travel before turning back to me. "Answer?"

"Because lad, she's embracing the most noble of pirate traditions." Jack popped up in the middle of us, followed closely by Barbossa, I held the flat side of my sword out and hit him in the head. Unfortunately, an unlucky orc didn't get the same side, he ran right into the sharp side, I winced.

"I am not, and see I am fighting, so there!" I smiled, patted Aragorn on the back and chased after Elizabeth who was trying to return to Will. 'Whoa little missy, you can't go back, they might try to run off wih Will if you keep screaming his name like that, seeing as he's the one with the medallion and all." She made a face of understanding and ducked, unfortunately I didn't and I got hit in the head by a piece of wood. I whirled around to see Morgan waving at me timidly. I snarled was about to lunge at him, but ended up taking down an orc instead, he chose that time to get away. "You ARE SO DEAD!" I was preparing to run after him but Elizabeth pointed to the pirates coming our way, " Time to go."

"Esme, Elizabeth, get on the horses!" Legolas shouted, still shooting arrows. What horses is he talking about? We got off of them quite some time ago. Then I saw the little rascals sitting in the middle of the battle, not even moving, in front was WheatThins, trying to eat some dirt. That's all she does, eat.

"Ok let's go." We ran over to the horse, dodging little arrows and swords and were about to mount when we were caught by Barbossa himself, Jack was a few feet back trying to catch his breath.

"Hi, can we help you" I smiled and tried to tug my arm away, he just tightened his grip.

"Ye have something, I'll be wanting back." Barbossa smiled at us, Elizabeth was squirming to get away.

"What would that be sirr?"

"The medallion, if you please?" He smiled and stuck his hand in our faces. I smiled and took a step back, but I ran into one of his lackies.

"Well you, see, there's a bit of a problem with that," I looked at Elizabeth pointedly and then jerked my head towards the back, she nodded and we began to back up very slowly, 'We don't have it. And I would love to sit around listen to you yelling but, it's time to go!" We ran off just as Jack popped up in front of Barbossa, the effect stunned Barbossa men and that gave us a few seconds head start. 'AHAHA Beat that mother licker!" I blanched.

"What?" Elizabeth was staring at me with wildly eyes, I just calmly turned to her and shook m head.

'Next time I ever say that, punch me as hard as you can."

"What? Beat. That. Or Mother Licker?" I rolled my eyes, what an idiot.

"The last one." I heard a growl and leaped out of the way of a charging orc just in time, he unfortunately met his demise at the hands of master William Turner, did I mention I have no idea where he came from? Oh great, now there locked in a game of tonsil hockey, and I have the pleasure of front row seats. "ANY DAY NOW!" They jerked apart and blushed while I glared at them.

"Where are you taking her?" Will got right in my face, he really needed a shower.

"Trying to get away from the baddies young master, oh, watch to your left." I stabbed an orc that was heading right for him, I successfully made Will jump, score one for the Pirate.

"You will protect Elizabeth." He growled at me, his breathe even worse. Wait, why do I have to? Don't I need it as well? I could hear Elizabeth protesting in th back.

"Well excuse me, I suppose I'm too manly to need help you old fart?" I snarled and walked by him, "I will protect myself and she will protect herself, plus who else can I protect if I can hardly protect myself?" At that time an arrow from Legolas, who was running by, embedded itself in the forehead of an orc that was about to stab me in the back. I smirked, point proven.

"Then I am coming with you."

"NO!" We all turned to see Jack and Barbossa battling away beside us, we watch them for a few minutes before turning back to the matter at hand.

'Like Jack said, no need. Good bye!" I turned and sprinted off again, I could hear Elizabeth start after me, at least he wasn't following us. Unfortunately, I ran into some hairy smelly arm and fell, tripping Elizabeth as well. I opened my eyes to see the ugliest orc I'd ever seen, he was pink, he had a missing an eye, and a brain on his shoulder, I had an urge to poke it but I felt Elizabeth grab my arm.

"What do we have here?" The thing grunted to it's surrounding comrades, the smell was horrifying, I was stuck between placing my hand over my nose and poking the things brain to see if he would twitch.

"Wow, you can form complete sentences?" I whirled on Elizabeth, who knew she had that in her? The thing glared at her, but it really didn't have the right effect, considering he was missing an eye and all.

'You'll pay for that comment missy." He reached forward, I noticed he was missing fingers, I made a face and he caught it. "Is there something you would like to say as well?"

'Oh no, no no, not at all." I smiled, I could still feel my eye twitching. The next thing we knew the creatures head was I my lap. I screamed so loud I think I made myself go deaf. I flung the thing off of me and it ended up hitting Elizabeth who in turn screamed, then we screamed together and ran off. I swear I saw Aragorn laughing behind the ugly pink thing, but I can't be sure.

"ESME!" I looked to where the person called me, but instead of seeing a person, I saw Aragorn locked in battle with a very big troll. Did I mention his sword was quite large as well...ok the one he can hurt people with. That's sharp. I'm just going to stop now. I turned to run to him but was caught by Elizabeth who was shaking.

'No, wait." At that moment, the troll decided to sling Aragorn halfway across the field.

"'Till When? He dies?" I jerked my hand and started running to where the troll was headed to finish him off, I could see a platinum blond figure doing the same across the way. Figures. I had almost reached Aragorn when the troll growled and backed away for a minute, guess Aragorn's still alive. The troll started to look around, and then turned and high tailed it off of the battlefield. Aragorn must have really hurt the things feelings. I reached Aragorn before Legolas did and pulled him into a fierce bear hug. "Don't ever, do that again." I heard him chuckle before returning the hug for a second. We pulled apart to see Legolas finally reach us.

"Took you long enough."Aragorn teased Legolas rolled his eyes before clasping his shoulders. They're a pair of losers the two of them.

"Oh shit, you guys!" the two of them looked at me funnily but followed where I pointed. The tower that held the Eye was falling. Aragorn stood in shocked silence watching the destruction of the tower, the eye actually deflated before it even hit the ground. The impact caused by the fall of the tower sent a shock wave through Sauron's army, and the ground started to fall out from under them, thousands of the orcs started to fall into the holes. Jack ran by, still fighting Barbossa, he lunged and stabbed him int eh heart, Barbossa begins to laugh.

"You can't kill me Jack. You waster your chance." Barbossa continued to laugh in Jack's face.

" H didn't waste." We all turned to see Bart holding his knees and trying to catch his breathe. I turned back to Barbossa and Jack, the latter winked at me. He knew all a long, the old fart. I felt Bart walk up very close to me. I knew I would regret him living.

"Did you miss me?" I turned to see him smiling rather large, like he'd won something. I could see Legolas tensing up behind him, testosterone is a bad thing.

"Decidedly not." I walked around him and hugged Legolas, 'I was too busy running for my life to think about you, sorry." Bart deflated a few notches, Elizabeth was coughing trying to hide her amusement but it really wasn't working.

"Look." I turned to Jack who was standing on top of Barbossa, guess it's man thing, and pointing toward Mount Doom, which no longer existed.

'Frodo!" I shouted, the same time Pippin did, I shook my fist at him, he stared at me funny. Just then Gandalf pushed through me, knocking me into Legolas and knocking us down, and ran over to some giant bird that allowed him to get on him. "Where's he going?"

'Do you mind moving, or would you rather stay like this?" I looked at Legolas who was raising his eyebrows, I smirked and sat up and crossed my legs right one his chest.

"I think I'll stay actually." I didn't see him smile at Aragorn, shame really. He stood up very quickly, and I came face first with Mordor dirt. Fantastic taste I must say. "Nancing elf."

"But you love me?" He smirked and winked at me. I rolled my eyes. "I take that as a yes?" He hugged me but I continued to ignore him.

"Are we supposed to stay here?" I jumped into Legolas' arms, and looked wildly around for the culprit, and couldn't find him until Legolas told me to look down. It was only Gimli.

"I don't know, ask Aragorn?"

'Let's return to the city, and await Gandalf. We all nodded and started to walk off, except Jack, Will and Elizabeth, I fell back to walk with them.

"What are you going to do now?" I leaned my head against Jack's, Will shook his head and grabbed Elizabeth;s hand.

"I plan on returning to Port Royal, and marrying Commadore, as I promised." I stopped moving, and Will ran into me.

'You're doing what? I thought you and Will, would, for sure, the two of you, but, I"M CONFUSED!" Elizabeth smiled for a minute before looking to Will, who was determined not to make eye contact with her. '"When did that happen?" No answer."Well then, what about you Will? And Jack you're returning to you ship I assume?" Jack nodded, Will just shrugged his shoulders. "Alright, a right bunch of winners you are. Ok,. Just come back to the city with us, and then you can leave? One last celebration?" I smiled at them all, they all shrugged except for Jack.

"Will there be rum?"

"I'm su-"

"I'm sorry to say that you will not have the chance of attending said celebrations to find out Captain Jack Sparrow, you're under arrest."

"Just where the hell did you come from?" I got into Norrington's face. "He helped save the world for you, and you're going to lock him up?" Norrington smiled.

"Exactly." I punched him.

'Run."

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"What is wrong with you? We're waiting for Frodo to wake up, and all you and Jack have been doing is pacing? Sit down for a minute." Legolas grabbed my waist and pulled me on to the bench beside him, I was there maybe two seconds before jumping back up. "Ok that's it, STOP PACING AND TELL ME WHAT'S WRONG!" We all turned to stare at him, that's the loudest I'd ever heard him.

"Well, Norrington's here to arrest Jack, and we don't want him to be arrested. You can help him! You're royalty!" Elizabeth shouted and ran over and grabbed his hands, Legolas raised his eyebrow at her, she quickly dropped them. I rolled my eyes at him, always being stupid.

"Not with that, I have no authority over Port Royal, I'm sorry." He looked really sincere, but apparently she didn't think he was because she started shouting at him, he cove3red his ears and ended up backing himself into a wall. I suppose I should help him, nah.

"Frodo!" We all turned to were we heard laughter, and Merry and Pippin being stupid, we didn't stand still long.

"Gimli!" The squat dwarf let out a bark of laughter and smiled at Frodo, Legolas and I followed, I made a face at Frodo and he laughed. 'Aragorn!" his smile got even bigger if that's possible. The hobbits continued to jump around him and laugh, but his face became the true sight of joy when Sam walked into the room. I'm going to try and contain myself from commenting on their sexual preferences.

'Sorry to interrupt such a touching moment but, scuse me, scuse me," I looked over my shoulder, and Legolas who I was currently leaning upon, to see Jack pushing through to reach us.

'Aragorn, who is that?"

'Captain Jack Sparrow, at your service. As I was saying, sorry to get in the way of this toughing reunion and all, but we've still got the problem of me being arrested, Norrington just knocked on the door and has been let in." he smiled strangely at me and Legolas as if asking help I was about to reply when Aragorn cut me off.

'What are the reasons you are to be arrested?" Jack smiled and kept his mouth shut, that much aye? "Well, if you will say nothing, then I do not think that we can help you."

"You wouldn't be able to anyways." At the door Commadore stood with shackles, "Mister Sparrow if you please." Jack looked to me once more, I winked and looked at Will, Jack walked forward slowly, as if going to his death, which is what it would probably be.

"Commadore, please!" Elizabeth ran forward and put her hand on his arm. "For me?"

"I wish I could, but I'm under jurisdiction. It is my duty." He turned and his heel and frog marched Jack out of the room, Elizabeth followed quickly after him.

"Well, that was weird." Frodo remained on his bed looking confused, he had a while before he would be filled in.

"Will, a moment of your time, if you don't mind? And you Legolas, and Elizabeth if we can catch her." They nodded and followed me out, Aragorn began to as well, but I shook my head at him, he really had nothing to get in trouble for, and that's exactly what would happen to the three of us.

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"GAH! This corset hurts! It's been so long, since I've worn a dress it doesn't feel right!" I complained to the women tying my cursed corset, she was using her foot to get it tight enough, I suppose she wanted to make it look like I had boobs, never gonna happen. "CAN'T BREATHE!!"

'That's how it's supposed to be, especially if you want to look , bustier, for master Legolas." the woman winked at me, and turned to leave. I could feel my face blushing but took that moment to tear the damned thing off and throw my gown on without it, she can't really tell, I still didn't look 'bustier' even with the torture device on. Meaning the corset of course. The gown was actually a pretty one, turquoise like the ocean, my favorite colors. "Why, that dress brings out your eyes miss!" I knew that was coming.

"What time are we supposed to be there?" I smacked the woman's hand away from my hair, there is no way she was going to get a hold of that, I did my normal braid to the side and slipped my black shoes on before walking to the door.

'You must wait for your escort of course." Not this again, I glared at her and started to pull the handle, only it felt like someone was pulling it the other way, I started to shake it, and it broke off, affectively knocking me over. Will pulled the door open looking sheepishly at me on the ground. Good thing I was already ready. I glared at him before sticking my hand out at him.

"You could at least help me up, you're the reason I'm here. Are you my escort then?"

"Yes, why do you not want me to be?" I suppose I must have frumped a bit, I thought Legolas would be.

"Of course not, let's go.' I grinned broadly and grabbed his arm, he rolled his eyes at me before starting out. "I'll race you there."

'Is that really the right thing to do?" He shook his head laughing at my antics.

'Yeah, I do it all the time!" I stuck my tongue out and started off down the hall, not looking where I was going. Let me tell you something, never run at break neck speeds down the hallway, not looking, good things never come of it. For me, I didn't' hear Will yelling, or the door open, successfully resulting in me smacking into someone's rock hard stomach, say ouch with me.

'You know, the last time this happened, we didn't like each other for quite some time afterward. I believe it was because you insulted my home land's name." I looked down to see Legolas smirking with his eyebrow raised, I placed my hand on it to stop it from moving. He was wearing a black tunic and leggings with his fancy little crown thingy on, he looked pretty amazing if I do say so myself, but I won't boost his ego anymore than it already is actually. I stood and gave him my hand to help him up, when he stood he kissed me before grabbing my hand. "You look amazing by the way.

"Well, last time I that happened, I was rewarded with an insult, not a kiss. And I still think Mirkwood is a weird name. No offense." He smiled and looked at Will. I'm sorely tempted to ask whether I look busty or not, that would be a little strange for him to answer, I'll wait until later.

"You're her escort I presume.' Will nodded. 'Well, I will take this burdensome task from you, what say you?" Will nodded and walked away laughing, I suppose at the expression I had plastered across my face. How dare he call me burdensome. "You know I don't mean it silly." he kissed my temple before starting to walk.

'Good, I might have had to hurt you if you had." I could practically hear him roll his eyes at me, yes, it was that obvious. It's actually a good thing that he was here, otherwise I might have gotten lost or something. Usual for me. When we reached the Citadel where Aragorn's coronation was to be held, there was not a spot that a person wasn't standing. Legolas whispered that it smelled greatly of human body odor, I reminded him that there were mostly humans here.

"You remember what I must do?'

"Yes, and you I?" Er that sounded weird, he smiled and nodded before kissing me and then walking over to the very end of the Citadel, I sighed and looked around to find Will. "You ready to save Jack?" Norrington decided to have the trial of Jack Sparrow after Aragorn finally became king, what a morbid reception eh?

"As ready as ever, but there is one thing I must do before then." I followed his eyesight to see Elizabeth standing beside her father and Norrington, I smiled and started to laugh.

'Good for you Will." I wiggled my hand into his and smiled at him. Things would work I could just feel it, or that could be my concealed sword poking into my thigh. Didn't mention that did I?

"Now come the days of the king. May they be blessed." Gandalf placed a winged crown atop Aragorn's now clean hair. Yes I know, stop the press, clean? It's a miracle, I bet Legolas it wouldn't last very long, but we'll see. Aragorn climbed the steps behind Gandalf, took a deep breathe and looked out over the crowed, I caught his eye and winked at him, he smiled like a goober before taking another deep breathe.

"This day does not belong to one man, but to all. Let us together rebuild this world, that we may share in the days of peace." The crowd continued to cheer. "Et Earello Endorenna utulien. Sinome maruvan are Hildinyar tenn Ambar-metta. " (Out of the Great Sea to Middle-earth I am come. In this place will I abide, and my heirs, unto the ending of the word.) I smiled as he walked towards Legolas who was smirking like he was keeping a very deep secret, and he was. Well, from Aragorn anyways. They hugged each other for what seems like a million years." Hannon lle." (Thank you). Legolas smile got even bigger before he took as step allowing Elrond to step forward. He turned to whisper to the elf beside him, both mine and Legolas' smiles got even bigger, I was practically grinning like a fool. The elf walked forward with the banner and handed it to Aragorn, who finally caught sight of who it was. Arwen. She lowered her eyes from him, but Aragorn grabbed her chin and made her look him in the eye. Then he pounced on her, Eru, take about built of sexual tension, I shared a look with will before starting to laugh. He really was a goober. By that time he had finally reached Frodo and the hobbits who all bowed down.

"My friends! You bow to no one." Aragorn pulled them up, and bowed to them, we all followed suit. I bet the hobbits were acting all boastful and stupid while they were at it.

"Well, it's now or never." Will whispered, giving my hand a squeeze before heading to where the gallows where being held, I motioned my head to Legolas and turned to follow him, too bad things don't go as planned.

'Esme, thank you for all your help, I think things would have been much darker if you were not there.' Aragorn wrapped me in a bone crushing hug, I guess I made a face because Arwen giggled before turning her head.

"See, I told you I was good for nothing but laughs." I smiled and patted him on the back, the big baby.

"Yes, well, I suppose you want to get to the gallows before they, you know, to Jack." He lowered the corners of his mouth, and shrugged. 'I only wish there was something I could do to help, but there isn't."

"No worries Aragorn, I know you would try if you could." I turned to follow in the footsteps of Will, I only hope we're not to late.

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"Jack Sparrow, be it known that you have... " I could see him grumbling about not being addressed as Captain, I continued to scourge the crowd for Will, and finally found his feathered self, at the very back, as close to Elizabeth as he could get."...for your willful commission of crimes against the crown. Said crimes being numerous in quantity and sinister in nature, the most egregious of these to be cited herewith - piracy, smuggling..." this should be a long list.

"Will!' He practically jumped out of his skin. "Got you. Anyways, what's the plan then?"

'When I see Cotton's parrot, I'm going to go tell Elizabeth I love her, and then I'm going to save Jack." I nodded before turning to look at where Elizabeth was standing with her fiancée and father. I still can't believe she's going to marry him.

"Well, what do I do?"

"You are going to wait behind that column over there, until you hear us, coming towards you, you're going to pop out, and help us get to the cliff, where he can get away.

"So what am I good for?" He rolled his eyes.

'You're going to fight the soldiers that come from that direction savvy?' I nodded and headed towards my hiding point, right as Will walked over to Elizabeth, show time.

"...sailing under false colors, arson, kidnapping, looting, poaching, brigandage, pilfering, depravity, depredation, and general lawlessness. And for these crimes you have been sentenced to be, on this day, hung by the neck until dead. May God have mercy on your soul." Who knew Jack was that much of a villain.

"Governor Swann. Commodore. Elizabeth. I should have told you every day from the moment I met you. I love you." he walked away, just as the executioner was placing the noose around Jack's neck. I'm just hoping Elizabeth catches on to what else he was doing. Oop, yup she did, she just pretended to faint. Will is pushing through the crowd yelling for everyone to move and then he pulls out his sword, and everyone starts to move. He throws it into the wood just as it was falling, giving Jack a place to catches his feet on, Will is now successfully fighting the executioner, who just fell off the stand, taking out some spectators as well. I wish I has some munchies to watch this with, it's quite entertaining. Shit, they're coming this way, and so are these soldiers. My turn. I whip out my sword and end up knocking one man in the nose.

"She's a woman!" Another shouted, I rolled my eyes and whacked him with the broad side of my sword, Will and Jack are using the rope to take out the other guards, I hit another one in the stomach before kicking him. I took his sword and threw it to Will as he released his rope.

'Watch behind you!" He barely missed getting his head chopped off. We ran to the tower before being cornered by Norrington's lackies, well, it almost worked. The nearest one leered at me, I spat at him , and he began to lunge I brought my sword up and he stopped.

"I thought we might have to endure some manner of ill-conceived escape attempt but not from you and you. " he looked pointedly at Will and myself I shrugged.

'Pardon me, but you've obviously mistaken me for someone who gives a damn. " I smirked at Governor Swann who blushed. Norrington bristled, I stuck my tongue out at him.

"On our return to Port Royal, I granted you clemency. And this is how you thank me? By throwing in your lot with him? He's a pirate! " Will shrugged and didn't reply.

"You forget your place, Turner."Norrginton stepped closer to us.

"Do you have a place?" I asked while Will made some dumb comment about being in his spot. What is this, assigned standing or something?

"As is mine."

"Oh hello, Elizabeth, nice to see you nice." She rolled her eyes and shook her head.

"Elizabeth! Lower your weapons. For goodness' sake put them down!" Jack and I laughed and pointed and the sentries before a question from Norrginton caught our attention.

"So this is where your hear truly lies is it?"

'It is." Elizabeth wrapped her arm around Will's he just looked at her.

"Awwww...how cute."

"Well! I'm actually feeling rather good about this." he turned to Governor Swann and got in his face. "I think we've all arrived at a very special place, eh? Spiritually...Ecumenically...Grammatically?" He then turned to Norrington. " I want you to know that I was rooting for you, mate. Know that. Elizabeth...it would never have worked between us, darling. I'm sorry. Will...nice hat. Esme, I'm sure I will see you sometime in the near future." I nodded at him as he walked backwards to the edge. I just know he's going to fall off before he means to. "Friends! This is the day that you will always remember as the day that.." Score, he fell, I'm psychic.

"Idiot. He has nowhere to go but back to the noose. "

"Wrong.' I pointed my finger at the man who said it, he just stared at me.

"What's your plan of action? Sir? "

"Perhaps on the rare occasion pursuing the right course demands an act of piracy, piracy itself can be the right course?" Governor Swann smirked at Norrignton, I almost threw up.

"Oh what are you? The walking Psalms?" I acted like I was throwing up, no one but Will and Elizabeth paid any attention.

"Mr. Turner. " Elizabeth grabbed Will;s arm, like that could have stopped him from going, faggot girl.

"This is a beautiful sword. I would expect the man who made it to show the same care and devotion in every aspect of his life." whoa, did anyone else catch that cheesy metaphor?

'If you don't stop with these cheesy life lessons, I believe I shall die of a cheese overdose." I pointed my finger at my open mouth acting as if I was gagging, Elizabeth just rolled her eyes, I wonder if I smacked her back if they would stay that way.

"Commodore! What about Sparrow?" that annoying man was back, I was about to kick him over the side as well.

"Well, I think we can afford to give him one day's head start. " He left taking his soldiers with him, I stuck my tongue out at his back and waved my hands. We were amazing.

" So, this is the path you've chosen, is it? After all...he is a blacksmith. " Govenor Swan was still pestering Elizabeth about choosing Will, let dogs lie would you.

"No. 'Oh dear, I can feel the cheese already, she removed his hat, it's coming. "He's pirate." Excuse me while I die.

"Ok, that's enough, it's been a pleasure, my friends, good bye. And good luck with your mir-rage." I bowed and backed away, running into who ever was behind me at the time, always a catch to my smooth exits.

'Huh, so this is where you got off to." It was only Edward.

"Yup, what's going on?"

"What are we going to do now, now that it's over?" I shrugged.

"Well, I should hope ,whatever your decision is, that I am included in the planning aye?" I smiled at Legolas, I had actually heard him coming that time. I wrapped my arms around him and kissed him before turning back to Edward.

"Who knows Eddie, who knows." I smiled once more at Legolas and grabbed his hand before walking back to the Citadel, there were a few things left to be done.

"Sail away where no ball and chain-"

"EDWARD!"

Author's Note: I'm actually thinking of making a sequel, and finishing out the POTC trilogy, but, I want you're opinions first! I hope you enjoyed your feature presentation!