Chapter Nine: A Meeting at Cosmo Canyon
"Grandpa? That's a random thing to say," Barret chuckled.
Red XIII, however, did not take his eyes off of the town that was on top of the mountain. As everyone got a better look of the expression on his face, they could see that they were almost like the eyes of a puppy. In fact, it looked like they were tearing up a little bit.
"GRANDFATHER!" Red XIII repeated in an excited voice and started racing off towards the village.
"What's his problem?" Calvin asked aloud.
"Wait a sec," Barret interrupted. "I remember when we were locked up in Shinra headquarters; Red said something about his grandpa."
"You don't think?" Aeris asked in a hopeful voice.
With that question, everyone started running off after Red towards the village. The village was located on top of a canyon and looked very small compared to some of the villages they had seen in the past. As they approached the village, they could see a large telescope at the very top of the largest hill that was in the village. The hill looked like the residents had turned it into a pathway to lead up to the telescope. Near the middle of the town, there was a roaring fire that some people were gathered around. It looked like they were talking about different things.
Finally, they reached the entrance of the town. It was a staircase that led to the top of the canyon, where the village was. Cloud went up first, followed by Barret, then Aeris, then Tifa, then Cait Sith, and finally, Calvin and Hobbes. When Cloud reached the top, though, there were guards standing at the entrance. When Cloud approached, the guards stood in his way.
"NO OUTSIDERS!" one of them shouted in his face.
"Listen," Cloud said calmly, "A friend of ours may have entered this village and we're kind of worried about the way he was acting. We must see him and…"
"SILENCE!" the other guard shouted. "IF YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOOD FOR YOU. YOU AND YOUR FRIENDS WILL…"
He stopped speaking when his eyes caught his friends. He moved around Cloud, passed Barret, Tifa, Aeris, and Cait Sith and came up to Hobbes. He was looking at him in an unusual way.
"Master Hobbes? Is that you?"
"Beg pardon?" Hobbes asked. "How do you know me?"
"Everyone here in Cosmo Canyon knows your name, Hobbes. Why, it's a legendary name that every household knows of." He then turned around and shouted to the other guard, "Hey, it's Hobbes! He's finally returned!"
With these words, the other guard immediately ran up to Hobbes and started looking at him.
"Well, I'll be," he stated. "It IS him! He's finally returned after all these years! Bugenhagen will be most pleased to see you again!"
"Who?" Hobbes asked, now more confused than before.
"Of course," the guard chuckled. "You wouldn't remember. Why, you were only a cub when it happened. Well, Bugenhagen will fill you in on all the details. Please, come with us."
"Hobbes, what the heck is he talking about?" Calvin asked with a look of confusion and shock on his face.
"I have no idea," Hobbes replied as the guards started to take him into the village.
Cloud started to follow, but the guards turned around and shouted, "STAY THERE! OUTSIDERS ARE NOT ALLOWED!"
"Excuse me," Hobbes demanded, wrestling free from the guards grips. "But those are my friends. If they can't enter, then I don't enter!"
With those words, the guards huddled and began to whisper. They were talking about whether they should let them in or not. It was obvious they seemed a little apprehensive about letting outsiders into the village.
After a minute of negotiating, the guards agreed to let Cloud and the others into the village. When they entered, Cloud began to take the role of leader again.
"All right, everyone. It's obvious that these people don't want us here, so let's be careful about what we do."
"Say, Hobbes, how come all these people know who you are?" Tifa asked.
"I can't answer that question for the life of me," Hobbes replied.
"Maybe that Bugen whatever can answer that question," Calvin responded.
"By the way, which way did Red XIII go?" Cloud asked in a concerned voice.
"CLOUD!" A voice from the path that led to the top of the canyon shouted. Everyone turned to see Red XIII standing there. "Come with me," he continued. "I need you to meet my grandfather! Just follow me!" With those words, he disappeared into the tunnel that led to the top of the canyon.
"Well," Cloud said in his leadership voice again, "I guess this means that I go up to meet his grandfather. What are you guys going to do?"
"I'm gonna look fer someone to fix up th' buggy," Barret said. "I feel kinda responsible fer what happened."
"Me too," Calvin and Hobbes said at the same time.
"Okay," Cloud replied. "Barret, you look for someone to fix up the buggy. Everyone else…I guess you can look around for a little bit until I say otherwise."
With those words, everyone took off in their own direction. Cloud followed the path that Red XIII had taken, Barret walked up to a group of people that looked like they were mechanics of some sort, and everyone else just went into a tunnel, except for Calvin and Hobbes.
Instead, they walked up to a house that was on top of a smaller canyon. It almost looked like a tree house with the ladder leading up to it and everything.
"Think we should go up?" Hobbes asked.
"Why not?" Calvin replied. "After all, it doesn't look dangerous. In fact, it just looks like an inn or something like that. What's the harm?"
Hobbes felt somewhat foolish with this statement. Now that he took a better look at it, it did look like it was an inn of some kind.
"Besides," Calvin continued, "people treat you like a celebrity here. They definitely won't mind if you come."
"That's something that's been on my mind ever since we got here. How do all these people know me and what did I do to become so popular?"
"I don't know?" Calvin replied. "Why don't you stop thinking about it for a little bit. I know something that will."
With those words, he pulled some things out of his backpack. One appeared to be a large banner with a skull in the middle of it and words on it that read 'G.R.O.S.S.: Get Rid Of Slimy GirlS.' The other two things were paper hats made from newspapers.
As soon as Hobbes saw these things, he immediately forgot about being a celebrity. It had been a long time since he and Calvin had held a G.R.O.S.S. meeting. G.R.O.S.S. was a club invented by Calvin and Hobbes some time ago to harass girls on their block back at home. Their main focus was a girl named Susie Derkins, a girl that Calvin was growing up with.
"There's only one place for a meeting like this," Calvin said after a minute of silence and started climbing the rope that led to the top of the canyon and into the building. However, Calvin didn't get very far because Hobbes immediately pulled him down and raced up the rope. As soon as Calvin got back to his feet, Hobbes, being a tiger, had already reached the top and had pulled the rope out of Calvin's reach. Immediately, Calvin started jumping up and down with rage.
"WHY'D YA DO THAT?" He demanded.
"Because you have to say the password to get up here," Hobbes shouted down, looking gleeful at the reaction he was getting from Calvin.
"I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO SAY A DUMB PASSWORD! I'M THE DICTATOR FOR LIFE OF THIS CLUB AND YOU KNOW IT'S ME! NOW LET ME UP!"
"Say the password if you are the dictator," Hobbes replied.
Calvin grumbled to himself and recited a poem Hobbes had written for the password.
Tigers are great
They're the toast of the town
Life's always better
When a tiger's around
Tigers are great
They can never be beat
If I were a tiger
That would be neat
Tigers are fearless
The e-pit-o-me
They are full of courage
Strength and dignity
"NOW LET ME UP, WILL YA?" Calvin demanded.
Hobbes finally let down the rope and Calvin testily made his way up the rope.
When Calvin reached the top, he had cooled down and began to take the role of leadership of the club.
"The meeting of the top-secret club G.R.O.S.S.: Get Rid Of Slimy GirlS has now come to order! Dictator-for-life Calvin speaking!"
"Here! Here!" Hobbes replied.
"Today's meeting will be a meeting discussing two new girls we have recently met in our lives: Tifa and Aeris," Calvin continued. "We will have a meeting of positives and negatives for both of them. Therefore, we will start with the positives because that will be shorter than the negatives and out saying is get the easier tasks done first. Ha! Ha! Ha!"
"First Tiger and President, Hobbes, will take notes," Hobbes replied, pulling out a notebook and pencil.
"We will start with Aeris' positives. First off, she is not nearly as annoying as Tifa! Secondly, she doesn't seem to be as pompous and as demanding as Tifa! Thirdly, Aeris knows her stuff when it comes to magic! In my opinion, she is a better female comrade that Tifa. Got all that president Hobbes?"
"Sure do!" Hobbes said, jotting notes as fast as he could. "What about Tifa?"
"This won't be very long. First off, she's good for water balloon practice. Secondly, she'd be good for colonizing Pluto! Thirdly, she's good for nothing! Ha! Ha! Ha!"
Hobbes, meanwhile, was trying to write legibly while laughing. He then added, "Number four: she's good for snuggling and hugging. Woo Hoo!"
"Yeah, and number five is…WHAT? HUGGING AND SNUGGLING?"
"It's true," Hobbes replied.
Calvin started making sick paces and choking and gagging noises. "Ack! My stomach! You're demoted from first tiger and president of the club to janitor and idiot of the club!"
"You can't argue the facts," Hobbes replied. "Because I thought of such a clever idea, I award myself a medal of wisdom."
With those words, Calvin immediately gave Hobbes a death stare, raised a fist in a threatening way, and said, "How do YOU know it's a fact? Have you been doing it?"
"I have my sources," Hobbes replied, giving Calvin a death stare of his own. "This poor leadership behavior will be recorded in the club minutes."
With those words, he started writing in the notebook again, but Calvin tackled him to the ground and started wrestling with him. Hobbes, however, could fight back and did so with ease.
"OUT WITH IT!" Calvin demanded, tugging on Hobbes' ears. "HAVE YOU BEEN HUGGING AND SNUGGLING WITH TIFA?"
"You have!" Hobbes replied while clawing Calvin's leg. "I saw you doing it!"
"THAT'S A FILTHY LIE! I SHOULD KICK YOU OUT OF THE CLUB FOR THAT!" Calvin shouted as he was trying to twist Hobbes' ankle.
"Oh yeah?" Hobbes protested, biting Calvin's arm. "Remember back at that forest when you had your limit break unleashed? After you beat that Ocho, Tifa came up to you and started checking on you, you said something smooth, and she gave you a small hug. You even let her do it!"
With those words, Calvin stopped wrestling with Hobbes. He did remember something like that happening.
"Well…I…er…wasn't myself…literally…I was Tracer Bullet! She hugged him…not me!"
"Remember our oath?" Hobbes said, brushing himself off. "Avoid girls at all costs no matter who we are, what we are, where we are. When we are, why we are, and how we are. No exceptions!"
Calvin could not argue with this. After all, he himself had written that oath.
"According to the law book, you should be banished from the club for life," Hobbes continued, reading from the same notebook he had been making notes in.
"Well…well…well…so should YOU!" Calvin finally protested. "Remember when we were in the buggy and you allowed Aeris and Tifa to snuggle with you while they were sleeping?"
Hobbes immediately had a look of guilt on his face. He did remember that day when Tifa and Aeris were sitting on both sides of him. He had let them stroke his fur while they fell asleep on his shoulders.
"Well…I'm a tiger! Girls dig hair. I had no choice!"
"Remember the oath, Hobbes." Calvin responded without missing a beat.
Both were silent. They did not know what to say to each other. They had broken their own oath.
"Now what are we going to do?" Hobbes asked.
Calvin thought hard for a few minutes, then finally said, "As dictator-for-life of this club, I hereby pardon both of us for our crimes and will overlook it this once. In the future, we will be careful. Agreed?"
"Agreed," Hobbes responded, shaking Calvin's hand. "Plus, I'll make a new law that states that members are allowed one mistake when it comes to girls."
At that moment, Cloud showed up in the house.
"What's going on here?" he asked. "And what's with this banner?"
Calvin and Hobbes immediately took off their hats and tried to make up some story, but had nothing.
"Never mind," Cloud said, figuring it was probably for the better if he didn't know. "Anyways, I've been looking for you guys. Bugenhagen, Red XIII's grandfather, wants to speak with you, Hobbes. He says he can explain why you are well-known here."