Disclaimer : Still not mine. Geez.
Note : So sorry for being late !! I posted it on DeviantArt and totally forgot about !!
There is noise, outside. A little too much, to this hour of the night. Is it the night ? I don't know anymore... I had been forced to be sit, and my wrists are skinned by my own weight, firing on my chains... I don't know what's happening. Sounds, confused, are echoing inside my head. Oh, stop it... Noises, screams, a loud kick making to vibrate the cage all around me. Let me alone... I can feel someone coming up inside, but I'm barely conscious of myself. Open up my eyes would be a torture. I can't...
"Donatello ?"
My name. Someone said my name... Or it's me and my fantasies ? No one called me like that for days...which is an eternity when you grew up with three brothers. And doing this, he's trying to steal my identity as well. But does he know it really ? Does he only know my name ? I don't know... So, who could it be who pronounced it ?
"Hold still, Don."
This voice... Is it simply possible ? This voice who is pronoucing these friendly words, comforting, this voice and these words I've wished to hear of all my heart, even when I had lost faith... Is my pain so strong that I'm becoming mad until I hear voices ? Yeah, that must be that...I heard them so often in my dreams ; I had to fall asleep...
Another kick. Metal against metal. Suddenly, I'm not conscious of my own weight anymore. The chain had broken, and I fall, pulled by my own mass. I'm going to kick the floor... But no. Something...someone gets me, helds me firmly but with the sweetest gentleness of the world. I can recognize this skin between a thousand, this texture so peculiar between vinyl and flesh , this skin that only four people have in the whole world, of whom I. But still, I don't want to believe it. Forsaken. I repeat this word over and over again to remember it. All of this is a dream, just a dream...
Words are saying again, another voice joins the first, and a second skin touches mine. Slowly, they get me on my shaking legs, that I almost don't feel anymore. I even don't have enough force to keep my head up. I'm hurt, so hurt... But...we can't feel the pain in a dream, can we ?
What's follow is fluzzy. They force me to move, and the pain is such, for me who had been imobilized for so long, that I can barely think about anything else. Except this touch on my skin. Even if I try to convince myself, the idea imposes by itself in my mind, without I can do anything. It's them. It's them, and they came for me. They finally came... To take me far away of this place, far away from these chains, from these beasts, from him. I wished that so much times that I can't believe it... But it's real.
They laid me down preconsciously. I hear another voice, excited and worried at the same time.
Mikey...
The vehicle starts brutaly, but whatever, as long as I run away from here.
Someone puts a wet tissue on my forehead, and I could cry. But only a weak moan that I can't hold back leaves my throat. Another voice speaks, to myself only, this time. A comforting voice.
"It's okay Don, you're safe."
Leo...
Now I know I'm safe, my muscles relax and start to shake, uncontrolled. Damn, it hurts ! But I begin to take conscious of the world around me again. I try to open up my eyes. Once. Twice. Even is the ligh is weak, it seems to me it's going to blind me. A third voice raises up. Angry, almost hateful... and worried.
Raph.
Summon up my last forces, I manade to stand on my elbows, and look Raph in the eyes. I don't want he puts himself in danger because of me, I don't want it ! And if I have to use my last energy for that, then I'll do it.
"You gotta promise me Raph... Promise me you won't do anythin... like..."
"Oh sure thing Don, I pinky promise, alright ?"
"Pinky ? Oh, ok,so..." I'm doubtful, but I can't continue. Leo catch me while my arms can't stand me anymore. But Raphael's reaction make me take a decision. I have to protect them...
I managed to sit down, hardly. My legs against my chest, I rest my cheek on my knees, moving the less I can to not open again my wounds. I feel... empty. I never thought about doing what I did before. I destroyed it, put it down in dust... I never thought I could be capable of it, but thinking about the consequences if I didn't do it, I didn't hesitate. And still, it was its fault. I hated it so much.
But it doesn't stop anything. My brothers are here, with me, and we ran away from the lair for more safety. Has my gesture been in vain, if we're still all in danger ? My fingers clenched, and I feel even more miserable.
"Don ?"
I barely raise up my head while Leo comes near to me, worry written on his face. Gosh, how I hate to be the origine of this expression... He kneels beside me, almost unsure, like he's worried to hurt me.
"Are you okay ?"
"M'fine..."
My throat is dry, and I lie, but I don't want him to worry even more. It's my fault, my fight. They don't have to be worried for me... Even if I know it's like that, I don't want them to be because of my stupid mistake, because I had could avoid all that...
"What's happened, there ?"
Leo's voice is only a gentle whisper, and I clenched my hands around my knees a little more, while memories of the last days came back in my mind. Ugh... The horror come back in my throat, and I feel nauseous. So I don't say anything. If I tell, I know very well that I'll only stir up their need of revenge, and I don't want them in danger more than they already are. If something happens, I won't be able to live with. If something happens, I... The idea makes me feel sicker than the memories. I can't.
Leo puts his hand on my knee, slightly.
"You don't want to tell me how all that happened ?"
I close my eyes firmly, and shake slowly my head. No. No !! I don't want !! I don't want anymore to see them worried, I don't want to know they are in danger, I don't want to see them angry because of me. I hate me !! I want to be alone against that ! I want... You're lying to yourself. Of course. But I don't want. Don't want to see them suffer.
I hear Leo sighes weakly.
"Rest a little. You need it. It's okay, Donnie. It's okay..."
His voice is only a whisper now, a lullaby, while he checks my pulse and put gently a hand on my forehead. The need to sleep begin to run all over my body, carrying me away with my guilt in a comforting darkness.If only I'd could avoid my mistake...
Because of me.