Chapter 4 – Explanations

Harry snook back to the Gryffindor common room and made it halfway up the dormitory stairs, when he heard someone speak.

"Where have you been? It's almost 2 A.M., Harry!" Hermione lectured. Ron, who was sitting right beside her, nodded and said, "It's a girl, isn't it mate?"

"No, Ron, it's not a girl," said Harry sharply, "Just drop it. I'm awfully tired, so I'm going to bed."

The two best friends just looked at each other while Harry finished walking up the stairs and to his bed. He curled himself up, pulling the blanket over him. He tried to get comfortable but couldn't. He wished that Draco could be in his arms. He let himself go to sleep and dream, because he knew Draco would always be with him in his dreams. Keeping his distance from the blonde angel would be harder than he thought.

The next morning at breakfast, Draco couldn't eat and didn't wish to speak to anyone. He was still shocked about last night. He was so sure that if he bedded Harry, he would have the boy forever. But instead, he had a half-promise of more sex at some point in the future. How had his plan gone so wrong?

He looked around, waiting for Harry. He wouldn't talk to anyone else. Well, it wasn't that he wouldn't, he just couldn't. And he knew there was something Harry wasn't telling him.

Finally, the Gryffindor Trio came down to breakfast, and when they sat down, Draco was right there to greet them.

"Malfoy, what are you doing here?" asked Hermione, her voice filled with disgust.

"I need to speak with Potter. Not that it is any of your business, mudblood," Draco replied.

Ron jumped up and nearly pounced on the Slytherin, but Hermione and Harry held him back. "He's not worth it, Ron," Hermione reminded him, "We all knew he was rude and evil. I don't care what he says."

Ron sat back down, glaring at Draco hatefully, and muttered, "Fine, but next time, I get to kill him" under his breath.

"Now, Malfoy, what exactly is it that you need?" Harry asked coldly.

"I need to speak with you, Potter. In private"

"I'll be right back, guys," Harry said to his best friends, and followed Draco to an empty stairwell.

"So, what is it, Draco?"

"Well, it's about what you said last night, Harry. I don't agree at all"

"What do you mean you don't agree? You don't have a choice in the matter."

"Yes I do, Harry. Look, I know why you wouldn't want to date me. I'm terrible to you and your friends. I'm a Slytherin, and worse, a Malfoy; I'm the son of a Death Eater and all that. I get it, I really do. But that's not really who I am. I really am a decent person once you get past the mean, hard outer shell. And I don't want to be without you, Harry. I -" he hesitated for a moment, collecting his courage, " I l-love you, Harry Potter."

Harry looked shocked and didn't know what to say. He thought really hard, and after a few moments, said, " But how? I mean, when? I don't even know what I mean, really."

Draco took Harry's moments of confusion as an opportunity to to kiss him, then gave him the answers he requested. "Well, actually, I knew since the first day of school. When I reached out to shake your hand. I just didn't know how to act when you rejected me, so I started being mean to you. It seemed like the only way you would talk to me is if we were trading insults. The truth is, though, that I really have loved you the entire time. I just hope one day, you can forget everything I have been and love me, too." The gray-eyed boy looked down at the floor, waiting for a reply.

"Draco, I love you, too"

At that, the boy looked up and smiled. "You do? Really?"

"Yes, Draco, absolutely. I've been smitten since we met at Madam Malkin's Robe Shop. I've tried to force myself to stay away, but it's impossible. I thought you hated me, so I never showed that I loved you. But believe me. I always have. That's why I don't think we should be together."

Draco was beaming until he heard Harry's last few words. Then, he frowned. " What do you mean? That doesn't make any sense. How can you love me but not want to be with me?"

Harry just stared into shiny gray eyes, thinking of words to express his feelings. Finally, they came to him: " Well, I mean, trouble follows me. Everywhere. And Voldemort follows me as well. He harms those I love. As long as he is trying to kill me, as long as he's alive, I can't be with you. I can't take the chance that he'll kill you to get to me. I love you too much." Harry held back the tears that threatened to fall from his eyes. He had to be strong.

Draco embraced the raven-haired boy, giving him a smile. "Look, Harry, Voldemort wont hurt me. My father is his right-hand man. He loves me. He wants me to be a Death Eater. Now, how can I do that if I'm dead?"

"You don't get it, do you, Dray? If you are with me, you become the enemy. Voldemort will kill you. And honestly, I'm not entirely sure he wouldn't kill his followers as well. You aren't safe from him. Hell, you aren't even safe from your own father."

Harry wished he could take back his last few words after they came out. Draco seemed very hurt.

"I'm sorry, Dray. I didn't mean it like it sounded."

"It's okay, Harry. You're absolutely right."

"I love you, Draco. I just want you to live."

"I know... It's getting late. We better get back to breakfast before everyone starts wondering", Draco said somberly.

Harry kissed Draco goodbye, and the two went back to their tables, trying to pretend the conversation never happened.

(A/N: I hope you like the chapter. I know it seems like they're going their separate ways but I promise they'll be together. But, they need a road block or the story would be boring. Okay, please review and give me some more ideas. I love you all. Good night)