-1Kristy ducked into the faculty bathroom, hoping that no one would see her cry. She rarely was so emotional, but today was just too much to handle at once. She had passed Claudia in the hall, and when she tried to say hi, Kristy turned the other way. She just wasn't ready to talk to Claudia right now.

She was just so frustrated! Sure, she could tell that her friends weren't as committed to the BSC as they used to be, but there were better ways to go about breaking up the club. Like having a logical conversation, not that Claudia was smart enough to do that. And Mary Anne would never say anything. If Claude hadn't said anything, Kristy could picture Mary Anne showing up for BSC meetings for the rest of her life.

The door opened, and Kristy let out as gasp. She hadn't anticipated anyone walking into the bathroom while she was crying. After all, she had chosen the faculty restroom for a reason. She sighed when she realized it was Ashley Wyeth, who she had never been very interested in. Ashley was artsy like Claudia and kind of spacey as well, and Kristy had never taken much of a liking towards her.

"Hey," Ashley said breathily, wandering towards the mirror. "What are you doing in the faculty bathroom?"

"I could ask the same of you," Kristy countered.

"I have a special pass from the nurse. The lunchroom gives me anxiety, so I usually spend lunch in the library. The faculty bathroom is way closer than going all the way to the other side of school."

Kristy restrained the urge to roll her eyes. Ashley's anxiety was well known throughout Stoneybrook. Though most people would probably try to hide their mental issues, Ashley wore hers like a badge. Kristy wondered how much of Ashley's anxiety was real and how much was put on for show. After all, Ashley always liked to stand out in her classes. Just last week, she had had a panic attack in gym class when faced with climbing the rope. Kristy momentarily felt bad, picturing the look on Ashley's face as she stared upwards. Maybe she wasn't faking, after all.

And who was she to judge, anyway? Just because Ashley had problems and wanted to talk about her didn't make her any better or worse off than Kristy. She almost wanted to say something to Ashley, to mention her own little personal vice, but something stopped her. Letting Ashley in on her secret was not something Kristy could do. She didn't know who Ashley might tell, especially given with how much Ashley liked to talk about her own problems. Still, she resolved to be a bit nicer to Ashley from now on. Maybe they were more enough than she had originally thought.

Ashley wandered into an empty stall, leaving her things down on the floor. Kristy continued to stare into the mirror, willing herself not to cry, when her glance dropped down to Ashley's book bag. The front pocket was wide open, and Kristy could see an array of art supplies: colored pencils, acrylic paints, a small sketchpad, some pencils, an X-ACTO knife…

Her heart raced for a moment. That's what she needed to feel better. She didn't know what Ashley was doing with an X-ACTO knife or how she brought it into school, but she didn't care. Carefully, she reached into the bag and grabbed the rubber handle. She could hear Ashley unlocking her stall door, so she quickly shoved the blade into her pocket and let herself out of the bathroom. And again, she thought to herself, maybe Ashley and I are more alike than I thought.

Claudia intended to not look at the note from Alan until after school, and she held her resolve. Still, as the clock ticked towards the final bell, she could barely keep herself from reaching into her bag and tearing it open. As soon as the bell rang, she flew to her locker, grabbed a few books (possibly not even the right ones), and ran out the door. She stopped in front of a bench and wrenched the paper open.

Dear Claudia,

I know it's been a while since I've talked to you, but I just wanted to apologize again for everything that happened between us. Nothing happened between Stacey and me, even though I know that you still think it did. I really wish that you would give me another chance or at least try to be my friend for a while. I mean, you forgave Stacey, so why not me? Please give me another chance.

Love,

Alan

"Ass," she mumbled. Anything that had happened with Alan was over with now - why wouldn't he just let her move on? After all, her friendship with Stacey was much more important to her, as it always had been, and talking to Alan wasn't going to help. Stacey and Claudia had both promised never to talk to or about Alan again. They had already felt that strain on their friendship. Claudia crumbled the note in a ball and began walking home. She knew as soon as she got there, she would give Stacey a call and do a great job pretending that nothing had ever happened.

Across states, Stacey McGill picked up her laundry from the dry-cleaner and hurried home. She knew that her dad wouldn't be getting home for hours, but she relished having some time to herself. She unlocked the multiple locks on her door and ran into her room, quickly jumping into her bed and getting comfy.

She couldn't believe how worn out she was lately. For the first time since she was thirteen, her diabetes was under control, so much so that she barely thought about it. Her life was just so much more fast-paced in New York than it was in Stoneybrook. And what a life it was! Stacey and her old friend Laine Cummings had finally made up after their years of fighting, and things couldn't be better. Laine was able to get Stacey a fake ID that said she was 21, which meant that they could hit as many clubs as they wanted in a night. At the same time, Stacey was supposed to be keeping up her grades in school and occasionally taking BSC jobs on the weekend. It felt like she was leading a double life.

Not like she told any of the BSC members what was really going on. Stacey's typical day consisted of going to school, doing homework, going to whatever new club opening or designer sample sale that was going on at night, heading out to an after party, and stumbling home and crashing for a few hours. She would then wake up and do the same process the next day. That was only on school nights now - she couldn't even get into what her weekends in the city were like.

Laine always laughed when Stacey complained how tired she was or asked if they could stay in for a move. "Come on, Stoneybrook, let's go out for a bit. Just an hour, I promise!" Laine thought calling Stacey "Stoneybrook" was classic, just because it showcased how mature and "New York" that Laine had always been. So whenever Laine busted out the "Stoneybrook" on her, Stacey took it upon herself to show how hard she could party. They'd spend hours getting ready, layering their MAC lipgloss and trading BCBG skirts. Then, they'd head out to a cab and see who could stay up later, pick up more guys, or outdrink each other at the bar. Stacey knew what she was doing was dangerous, especially with her diabetes, but she just didn't care anymore. She was keeping her life together, for the most part (minus the failed Chem quiz), and she figured that soon she and Laine would tire of the party scene and move on.

Still, she knew how the BSC would react if they knew the new Stacey McGill. A few times, she had close to confiding in Claudia about what was really going on, but her relationship with Claudia was strained as is. As it was, she barely spoke with any of the other club members. She could already picture Kristy's condescending face or Mary Anne's tears. This is why she couldn't say anything to them. Instead, she recorded her thoughts in her small journal that she hid under her bed. She probably could have left it lying open on her desk. She wasn't really worried about her dad finding it; he barely noticed her coming and going. Occasionally, he'd make a comment on the length of her skirt or her haircut, but he'd laugh and lock the door behind her. This was one of the perks of living with her dad - he was just too damn busy to care.

Either way, Stacey was torn between feeling like she had the best life ever or wishing that she could go back to her mom in Stoneybrook. She could never, ever, confide in the BSC though - they just wouldn't understand. She was about to start writing in her journal when her private phone line rang.

"Hello?" she answered.

"Hi Stace!" It was Claudia.

"Hey Claude, how are you?"

"Eh…not so great, really. Have you talked to Kristy at all?"

Stacey laughed a little. "When was the last time that Kristy called me?" She paused, noting Claude's voice. "Is something wrong?"

"Well, you've probably had some idea that this was going to happen soon, but the BSC disbanded yesterday. I just thought you should know. The Johanssens have your number out there and are still going to call you to sit, and a few other clients asked for you as well."

Stacey didn't know what to say. In the back of her mind, she had been hoping that the group would disband soon so that she could focus on her life in New York and separate from Stoneybrook completely. But now that it had actually happened, she felt like she was losing the last semblance of normalcy in her life. The BSC (and her former friends) helped keep her grounded. She knew that she would never have this same lifestyle in Stoneybrook.

As her call waiting beeped, Stacey switched over and immediately connected to Laine. "So Stace, what's on the agenda tonight?"

"Laine, I think I need to stay in tonight. Claude just called with some bad news - the BSC broke up."

Laine whooped with excitement. "You're finally free!"

"Free? I hardly think that I have had much of a commitment to the BSC over the past few years."

"But now you have one less commitment to worry about. Now all of your weekends are free! So what are we doing tonight? I kind of have a taste for cupcakes at Magnolia, then maybe we can check out this apartment party that my friend Jim is having."

Stacey buried her face in her plush pillow and groaned. "Laine, please, can't we just go out tomorrow?"

"Nope, there's no apartment party tomorrow. Tomorrow's the Prada sample sale, plus makeovers at Aveda. Come on, Stoneybrook."

Stacey knew that Laine had her. As soon as the "Stoneybrook" left her mouth, Stacey always gave in. Of course, Laine could conveniently forget that Stacey had a math test in two days or a French quiz tomorrow. Either way, Laine always got her way. "I'm coming over," Laine said, and quickly hung up before Stacey had a chance to respond.

When she tried to click back to Claudia, she realized that her friend had already disconnected. Stacey knew she should call her back, but she just couldn't. It was hard to come up with the right emotions about the BSC dissolving when she had an apartment party to shop for.