And The Winner Is...
By TheBucketWoman
Disclaimer: I don't own Life with Derek, it's characters, or any of the things I reference here.
Chapter Ten
Part One : Derek
After three days, even Derek had to admit that he was running Casey ragged.
"You're bossy," she'd said the night before. "Even for you."
It wasn't intentional this time. He just knew how important the part was to her. No matter what she said, she really wanted to be Audrey, and his job, clearly, was to help her get what she wanted.
But she needed a break, so when she knocked on his door this morning and told him that Emily had invited them over to hang out by the pool and do nothing in particular, he'd been happy to go along.
But I'm bringing the camera, Derek wrote. It was waterproof up to thirty feet, so even if they tried to throw it into the pool, he'd be okay.
"I figured you would," Casey said. "I'll tell Em to put lipgloss on."
Sheldon greeted them at the door. Derek never thought anyone his own age could come off like such a husband, but there was their own personal Ward Cleaver standing right there. The only thing missing was a pipe.
"Casey, Derek, I am so glad you could make it!" Sheldon said. He shook Derek's hand. Kid had a grip like iron. Derek waggled his hand to realign the bones afterward. Then Sheldon gave Casey an almost air kiss, barely brushing her cheek.
He led the two of them to the patio.
"Can I get either of you anything to drink or to munch on? Emily will be down in a sec, but we have soda, juice, vitamin water?" Sheldon said.
"No thanks, Shel," Casey said.
Derek shook his head and motioned that Sheldon should sit down and relax.
"I actually need to check on the corn," Sheldon said. "So I shall return."
"Do you need help?" Casey said.
"Nah, I'll just be a sec," Sheldon said. "You guys relax."
After he'd disappeared back into the house, Casey turned to Derek and whispered in his ear: "Sheldon is such a daddy!"
I keep expecting Wally and the Beav to pop up, Derek wrote. Casey was just crumbling it, and Derek was setting up the camera, when Emily made her entrance.
And an entrance it was. She had on a little bikini and a wraparound skirt thing that showed her entire right leg in all it's glory. Casey, seeing her, began to fiddle with the frayed edges of her cut offs and worry the hem of Derek's orangutan shirt which she'd borrowed about a month ago and had never given back.
Derek got all of this on camera, of course.
"Do I get my own theme music?" Emily joked.
"That is such a great outfit, Em," Casey said. "I feel like such a schlub now."
"With your legs," Emily said. "Puh-leeze."
They kept the girl talk up for another minute or so, and Derek tuned out until Sheldon showed up with chips and dip and began to fuss over everybody once again.
"Derek," he said. "Sure you don't want anything? Feeling okay? I could make some tea if you like, honey and lemon?"
Derek shook his head and pointed to an empty chair.
Schlep, they are starting to talk hair products, Derek wrote. Sit here, and talk about anything else, please?
"Aw, but I was just going to ask how you got your hair so fluffy!" Sheldon said. Derek hoped he was kidding.
"So," Sheldon said. "Have you been cooped up the whole week? I'd be postal by now."
Not really. Casey's going out for a play this week, and I've been filming her getting ready, Derek wrote.
"Oh, Little Shop of Horrors?" Sheldon said. "Us too! I've never actually done a show before, but I've always wanted to."
"Hey, Babe," Sheldon said to Emily. "Casey's going out for the play after all."
Casey didn't seem to notice it,(Derek hoped), but for a second, the smile dropped off of Emily's face, then reappeared.
"Cool!" Emily said. "Are you trying for Audrey?"
"I'll take whatever part they give me," Casey said. "But yeah. Who are you trying for?"
"Audrey," Emily said.
Dun dun duuuun, Derek thought. He bit his lip. He and Sheldon looked from one girl to the other.
"Well," Casey said. "I hope one of us gets it."
Oh, crap, Derek thought.
"So you're going out, too, Sheldon?" Casey said. "Seymour, right?"
"Would be nice, but I might just end up in the chorus or something, and that'd be pretty cool, too," Sheldon said. Nobody was convinced by that.
"You know you wanna be Seymour," Emily said.
"Yeah," Sheldon said. "But I'm adaptable, ya know. A bit of a chameleon. That's supposed to be the mark of a master thespian, so..."
Derek's mouth twitched. Casey's eyebrow followed suit.
Emily wrinkled her nose. "You said thespian," she said. Sheldon rolled his eyes.
"Means actor," Sheldon said. "Get your mind out of the gutter."
They all let that hang in the air for a second. Nobody bothered to explain that they knew what a thespian was. Then Emily said, "I, for one, am going to take a dip. Who's with me?" She got up and dropped the skirt thing onto the chair next to her and took off the beads she'd been wearing.
"Me!" Casey said. Derek, for a second, had a vivid image of Emily holding Casey's head under the water, but then he got distracted.
Casey was lifting his orangutan shirt up over her midsection and then over her head to show off a bikini top of her own. She then unbuttoned her cutoffs and wiggled out of them to reveal some little boyshorts.
Now, Derek knew that she couldn't possibly have done that in slow motion, but that's the way he saw it nonetheless. He hoped to God he'd gotten it on tape, because that's the way he planned to edit it. In slow motion. With music.
Derek caught sight of Sheldon looking as thunderstruck as Derek himself did. Sheldon's eyes were very much glued to Emily.
"Oh. My. God," Sheldon said. He knelt at Emily's feet. Emily got giggly and quickly lost the swagger that the bikini seemed to have given her.
"Ohhh," Casey cooed. "Can you stand it?"
Derek shook his head, but then Casey put her arms around him from behind and the feel of her bare skin even through his t-shirt made him forget what they were talking about.
"Derek—"
He looked up at Casey.
"I said, don't you want to get into the pool with me?" He nodded. He was capable of little else. The writing pad lay forgotten on the table in front of him. Casey popped the camera onto the tripod and tightened the nut to hold it in place.
"Now, strip," Casey said. He pulled his shirt off, to catcalls from Emily and Sheldon who were already in the water.
Part Two: Casey.
Who knew Sheldon was so sweet? She watched him fuss over Emily, toweling her off, cocooning her in the towel, even, and after that, relotioning her back.
Derek was much calmer. His aversion to public displays of affection was well known, but he was mellowing. His hand always seemed to be on Casey lately. He touched her arm every once in a while, almost like he was making sure she was still there. He tucked her hair behind her ear, little things like that. She found herself agreeing with him that there was no need to be over the top with the PDA when it was so obvious how crazy they were about each other.
Casey soon noticed, however, that Sheldon fussed and hovered over her and Derek too, albeit in an unromantic way (thankfully). He seemed convinced that Derek felt miserable and left out of the conversation so he made sure that he asked Derek a lot of questions.
"So, how did this happen?" Sheldon said, gesturing at Derek's throat. They were back at the patio table, some decimated sandwich fixings between them all.
Yelling, Derek wrote. Casey read over his shoulder. Apparently I cannot yell anymore.
"Gotta learn how to project," Sheldon said.
From the diaphragm, Derek thought.
"From the diaphragm," Sheldon said.
So I'm told, Derek wrote.
"How many times since the accident?" Sheldon asked. Casey thought Derek would be dying to change the subject at this point but he must have decided that resistance was futile. That or he was actually getting comfortable around Sheldon. He held up his index finger.
"Okay," Sheldon said. "But if it keeps happening, you might wanna look into therapy. I have this cousin in Montreal who's studying speech pathology and I'm nosy so I've asked her all about it, and it honestly doesn't sound as scary as it could. Even though she makes me paranoid. I don't so much as sing in the shower without warming up. What's funny?"
I have an appt. on Tues. for speech therapy, Derek wrote. After the doc says I'm allowed to talk.
"That's five days away." Sheldon said. "I can't be quiet for five minutes."
We've noticed, Derek wrote.
Way to rub it in, Schlep, Casey thought.
"But I guess Casey's been keeping you busy, huh?" Sheldon said. "We should ask if they have anyone to tape the show itself. You can make a little money off that. And if Casey gets the lead, then you got a full fledged documentary on your hands."
"Who wants dessert?" Emily said. "Babe, why don't you come give me a hand."
"I can help," Casey said.
"No, you're a guest," Emily said. Sheldon was already getting up but he wasn't fast enough and Emily yanked him by the arm toward the sliding door to the kitchen.
"Wonder what that's about," Casey said.
Somebody's in trouble, Derek wrote. Through the sliding glass door they could see Emily stomping through the kitchen, slamming the freezer door after she grabbed some ice. Sheldon stood off to one side and watched her attack the blender. Every time she hit a button on the blender, Casey imagined her saying "Take that! And THAT!"
She just didn't know why.
"What'd Sheldon do?" she asked. Casey thought that she saw a look flit across Derek's face, one that said that he knew exactly what was up with Emily. But it disappeared right away and was replaced with a look of innocent confusion. She was about to start interrogating him when Emily and Sheldon came back out.
"I come bearing smoothies," Emily said. Casey caught Derek's eye and tried to look apologetic. She knew Derek never wanted to see another one of those as long as he lived. But he took it, God bless him, and pretended he loved nothing more than a good smoothie.
Part Three: Sheldon
Derek caught Sheldon's eye when he came back out onto the patio. For a second, Sheldon didn't know whom he was more afraid of, Derek or Emily. He did not want to have the conversation he was about to have.
He took a deep breath. "So, Derek," he said. "I kinda wanna ask your opinion on something, so...um..." He cocked his head to one side to beckon Derek over to the kitchen. Derek followed him in, and slid the door shut.
"So," Sheldon began. "I..." He paced for a few seconds and tried again.
"Are we..."
We're both screwed, Derek wrote.