Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.
Minori was sitting in a chair with one foot propped on a cushioned tuffet, painting her toenails a soft chayote green, when a loud knock sounded at her door.
"Just a minute," she shouted. She wasn't quite dressed, and as fun as it would be to answer the door in just her lacy bra and panties, she was feeling a bit more chaste than normal. She swept her black silk dressing robe off the back of the chair and slipped it over her arms as she walked to the door.
Swinging the door aside, she quickly recognized the tall shinobi standing outside her house. She sighed. "Sakumo, I already told you I have plans for tonight. Why don't you go to that cute barmaid's party instead? The redhead? She's totally into you, you know."
Pushing past her, he walked inside, uninvited. A foul odor drifted into the room, along with the jounin.
"You stink," commented Minori as she wrinkled her nose.
"I just got back from a mission. I haven't showered yet," he mumbled. The woman noticed how stiff Sakumo was and how he was not behaving like the quick-witted, cocky young man she was used to. In his arms, he carried something wrapped in white cloth. "I need your help," he said.
"My help?" she echoed. His distracted, scattered expression concerned her. "With what?"
"This." Sakumo held up the package he had brought into her house.
Minori gasped and drew her well-manicured hand over her mouth. It was a baby, about six weeks old. And it looked just like Sakumo.
He continued, "You're the closest thing I have to a friend that's a girl. I didn't know where else to go."
She couldn't take her eyes off the infant. The resemblance was unmistakable. "Am I close to a friend, or close to a girl?"
"Minori…this is not a joke. What do I do?"
"Well," she regained her composure, "who's the mother? It's not anyone from Konoha. I would have heard about that. We all would have heard about that."
"I can't tell you," he replied, shifting his half-lidded eyes away from her face.
"Why not?"
"I just can't, ok?"
She frowned. "Sakumo, the only reason we're still friends, is that I refuse to sleep with you. Any of your other female friends would have just thrown you and that baby out on the street on your butts. That's why you came here. If you want my help, my advice, you better answer my questions."
Sakumo stared intently at the young woman. She was right, of course. He had tried to bed her on multiple occasions, and every time she had turned him down. With her long, pale blue hair and eyes of the same color, she was one of the most striking kunoichi in Konoha. But, she did everything possible to look the opposite of a ninja, making sure her make-up was impeccable and wearing the most fashionable outfits. Although, she was rarely visibly armed, Sakumo had learned, first-hand, how skillful the woman was at hiding weapons in surprising places. He also knew why she always rejected him. He didn't have what she really wanted—money. Almost everything she owned had been gifted by one of her lovers.
But, a true man never let rejection bother him. Minori and Sakumo had enough commonalities that the two jounin had become good friends. Minori was close in age to Sakumo, only a year younger. They both had not only survived, but thrived during the Second Secret World War, earning nicknames due to their exploits. He became the White Fang, terror in battle, and she became the Blue Enchantress, weakening minds with illusion. And, in addition to their infamy in the shinobi world, they both had earned reputations in the village for sexual promiscuity.
He had gone to her house, because, out of all the women in Konoha, she would be the least likely to judge him.
"All right. I'll tell you, but you cannot tell anyone about this." he said. "Can we at least sit down?"
She nodded and returned to her seat where she had been painting her toenails. The silk robe slid to the sides of her shapely legs as she crossed them. Sakumo slumped into the soft stuffed sofa opposite Minori, resting the sleeping baby in his lap. Between the two ninja, stood a low wooden table inlaid with a repetitive pattern of ivory flowers.
"I'm waiting," she commented.
Sakumo closed his charcoal eyes and breathed deeply. "In December, last year, I went to Uzu no Kuni for a mission. I was supposed to gather information about the alleged alliance between Uzu and Kaminari, specifically, what kind of mutual defense arrangements they had and what kind of troop movements were planned. I posed as an emissary from the Miyanakabashi Monks and infiltrated the royal court of Uzu no Kuni."
Minori snorted. "Aren't those monks celibate?"
The other jounin rolled his eyes. "Yes, but it was good cover, ok? The Daimyo is a religious man."
"All right, all right." The kunoichi waved him off.
"Anyway…on New Year's Eve, they had a big celebration. And everyone was drinking. A lot. And this pretty young girl starts chatting with me."
"So you screwed her, huh? Sounds logical. Who was she?"
"Karai Kirika, the Daimyo's daughter."
"Wait, wait. That kid's mom is a Lady?"
Sakumo shrugged "She was the Daimyo's youngest child. I figured she might know something about the alliance."
"Did she?" asked Minori skeptically.
"Well, no," he admitted.
Minori was convinced that there was something else that her friend wasn't saying. She thought through a few possibilities, until one seemed rather likely. "And how young, exactly, is the Daimyo's youngest child?"
Sakumo slumped over and stared at the table. "Sixteen."
"Sixteen?! You knocked up a sixteen-year old?!"
He laughed nervously and scratched at the back of his head. "Actually, she was still fifteen at the time. But, very mature for her age."
"Sheesh, Sakumo, you should know better than that."
Sakumo raised an eyebrow. "You've done worse, Minori."
"At least I never ended up pregnant. I take my tinctures."
"I take mine, too. But you know those birth inhibitors aren't 100 percent."
"Well, you've got some shitty luck right there."
"You're telling me," he groaned.
Minori leaned back in her chair and rested her elbow on the upholstered back. "The Karai family disowned the baby didn't they?"
Sakumo nodded. "They left him here today."
They both knew the reason. "Yes, it wouldn't suit a noble clan to have ninja blood tainting their perfect gene pool, would it?"
A bitter silence settled between the pair as they stared at the ornamented surface of the table. Most nobles considered ninja to be third-class citizens, barely above animals. But, when war broke out, and their lifestyles were threatened, the first places the upper class went crying to were the hidden villages and the ninja clans.
"So, what are you going to do with it? Keep it? Raise it yourself?" asked Minori.
"Do I have a choice?"
Her eyes drifted down to the sleeping bundle. "You can give him up. Leave him at some orphanage. But, it'll have to be somewhere far from Konoha, because everyone'll know it's your kid, with the resemblance and all…"
Sakumo's jaw tensed. "What? I can't do that! He's already been abandoned by his mother's side. If I abandon him, too, I'll be no better than those people, and he'll be left without anyone!"
Minori shook her head sadly. "Then you have decided. I swear, Sakumo, despite your act, sometimes you care too much about other people. It'll be the death of you yet."
"I'm the only person he has right now."
She looked him directly in the eyes. "By yourself, you are not enough."
He turned his head away from her blue-eyed gaze and sighed. "I know. That's why I was hoping you could…give me some tips. Or something."
"Tips? I don't know anything about babies!"
"B-but, you're a woman. Aren't you guys born with that knowledge? You know, maternal instinct, like what they eat, how to hold them, things they do things besides sleep, and so on."
The blue-haired kunoichi rolled her eyes. "I have four older brothers, and I became a ninja, Sakumo. Not exactly a lot of mothers in this line of work. Nor do I have any friends with kids. Your typical housewife does not exactly approve of my lifestyle…"
"Then where do you find out how to raise a baby? Are there books in the library?"
"Probably, but I think you need some personal coaching. Why don't you talk to Tsunade?"
Sakumo looked appalled. "The Slug Princess? But she's so…scary. You do know what she did to Jiraiya in February, right? It took him two months to recover. And he's her teammate!"
"Well, she's a ninja, so she might be a little more understanding than others. Plus, she practically raised her little brother, so I'll bet she know something about kids, especially with all that work she does in the hospital."
Glancing down to the small child cradled in his arms, Sakumo felt overwhelmed. Suddenly, his life was turned upside-down. But, he was a shinobi of Konoha. He had survived two world wars and hundreds of battles. He had killed more enemies than he could remember. No matter how dire the circumstances, he had survived. He would survive fatherhood. He would thrive. The baby cracked open its dark grey eyes and gurgled. A bubble of spit grew at the corner of its lips.
"All right. I'll go see Tsunade." Sakumo stood up, ready to leave. "Can you come, too?"
"No, I have to get ready for my date with Tikkudan," she replied, clearly defining what her priorities were.
Sakumo's eyes widened. "Mitarashi Tikkudan? He's as old as the Hokage! And, he's married, with kids."
Minori gave Sakumo a slightly devilish grin. "And he's rich. I can overlook the other flaws."
The jounin chuckled and shook his head, feeling a little more like his old self. The woman could make even a guy like him feel like a saint. He walked up to her door and opened it.
"By the way, what's his name?" asked Minori offhandedly, as Sakumo stepped outside with the newborn resting in his arms.
They didn't even give him a name, recalled Sakumo. He looked down the street. Four children were playing nearby, dressed up in their Halloween costumes and running in wild circles. There was a doctor, a farmer, a black cat, and then another skinny boy who stood off to the side, a pariah who watched the others but wasn't invited to join their game.
"Kakashi," replied Sakumo.
Minori gave her friend an odd look. "Kakashi? That doesn't sound like a child's name…" She leaned out the door, looking in the direction where Sakumo had been gazing. "Sakumo! Did you just see that kid dressed like a scarecrow, and decide to call your baby that?"
He shifted awkwardly. "Maybe…"
"Well, that's a stupid name. You might as well call him Enoki or Botan, or something else just as weird. Why don't you pick a real name, huh?"
"No." Minori's pushiness was bringing out Sakumo's stubbornness. "His name is Kakashi."
She stared at her friend some more, then turned away and flicked the back of her had in his direction, pretending like she didn't care in the first place. "Hatake Kakashi it is," she huffed.
"Have fun tonight with Old Man Mitarashi," he taunted in return.
Without another word, she slammed the door closed behind her.