CHAPTER ELEVEN

"Claire, please…" Boone called through the opening to the tent.

"Go on. Let's say, I dare you. Go on! Then come back and tell me how it was!" She screeched. Boone jumped as he heard Aaron begin to cry. Boone listened to Claire trying to soothe the baby. As soon as Aaron's cries died down, Boone tried again.

"Claire, can I come in?"

"What, and make Aaron cry all over again?" She retorted. Boone sighed.

"Well, if we keep shouting through the tent like this then he is going to cry again." Boone replied. Claire was silent for a moment.

"Well, go away then." She replied.

"That's not going to happen." Boone stated. "So either let me in, or you come out here." Boone waited. Nothing happened for a minute. Boone thought that maybe Claire was choosing to simply ignore him. But then, the entrance to the tent was held open at arm's length by Claire.

Her hair was all over her face. She was tear-stained, yet fresh tears were flowing, like yesterday on the beach. All the contents of the tent had been flung around. Claire refused to meet Boone's eye and determinedly looked at the roof.

"What do you want?" Claire demanded. Boone jumped at her sharp tone.

"I'm sorry, Claire…she kissed me." He stared at her as she began to laugh.

"Yeah, and you hated it, right?" She continued to laugh cynically.

"Well yeah, I wanted to get back to you…" Boone replied.

"What utter bullshit." Claire exclaimed. "She kissed you, you didn't push her away, you kissed her back – and you loved every fucking minute of it."

"No, Claire, that's not…" Boone tried to keep calm.

"So what was I, Boone?" She folded her arms. "A hit?"

"NO!" Boone yelled.

"So what, then?" She asked.

"I LOVE YOU." Boone screamed. Claire seemed taken aback, and she actually looked at Boone for the first time in the conversation. Claire hesitated, she furrowed her brow in thought – in the way that Boone cherished.

"Well, that doesn't matter now, does it?" Her voice shook.

"Yes, it does." Boone moved towards her. "It means everything." He put a hand on her arm. "You saved me, Claire." She whipped her arm away.

"How, exactly?" She scoffed.

"You helped me get over Shannon." He said.

"Yeah, so much that when she kissed you, you bloody orgasmed." She shouted.

"Claire, its not-"

"Look, Boone." Claire met his eye. "You kissed her back. Fact. Within 12 hours of sleeping with me."

Boone hung his head. "I know, but…" After a second's silence, Claire muttered,

"I think you should leave." She had dropped her gaze.

"Please, no." Boone moved towards her again. It killed him that she retreated.

"Look, I don't need this right now." A tear ran down her cheek. "I've lost a baby, I can't ever have any more, and I've lost the man I loved. So I don't need your shit, Boone." The tears started flowing freely down her cheeks now.

"Claire, I can look after you."

Boone was surprised when Claire laughed again. "Funny enough, Charlie said that. And he died."

"Claire, I mean it."

"So what, Charlie didn't?" She yelled. Boone was silent. "Look Boone, I loved Charlie. But even he couldn't look after me. I can look after myself. All men have let me down."

"Claire, I won't."

"Yes you will, Boone! You already have! I want you to get out." She shouted.

"So did last night not mean anything to you?" Boone shouted back.

"Of course it did. I cared about you. But I didn't, and don't, love you. I never have, and never will." Boone recoiled, hurt.

"So why did you do it?" He asked quietly.

"Like I said, I cared about you. And I was distraught. I loved Charlie, and it turns out, I was pregnant with his baby, and I lost it! But don't you dare turn this on me, you're the one who betrayed me." Claire screeched.

"How could I betray you when you didn't love me?" Boone yelled.

"You don't have to love someone to be betrayed by them. Anyway, you didn't give me the chance to love you. The day something could have started, you run off and make out with your sister!" She yelled. "I think you should go. I don't want to see you again." She muttered. Boone didn't move.

"Are you sure about that?" He asked.

"Yeah." She said quietly. He looked at her for a minute, waiting for her to take it back. She just scanned the roof with her eyes. She wasn't going to.

"Fine." He muttered, and walked out.

Boone stood outside of Claire's tent for a moment. He couldn't hear anything. Not the sound of any tears, the sound of any movement. He knew that was the last time he would ever speak to Claire. He knew that every time, from now on, Claire would blank him whenever she saw him. He knew he would miss her every day. Boone sighed and walked away. Walked away from the best thing to ever happen to him. From the possibility of a… good life. Happiness. A single tear rolled down his cheek, and that's all that he allowed.

"Boone, can you get me some firewood?" Shannon called. Boone sighed and set off towards the jungle. Back to the same old life. The life of servitude.

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