A/N: So it's been a while, like three weeks, and I'm updating again. Holy crap, I've never had such a popular story before and the reviews make me so happy; I love seeing them in my email box.

READ THIS: Ok, anyone who's ever seen/read Ouran knows that there is a slight shounen-ai-ish thing in it, like, two of the characters act kind of gay to get more customers. It is FAKE, I repeat, FAKE and they just do it because it's funny and the girls love it. This story is going to be Ouran-esque so I have to tell you right now that I will have a few characters act a little gay, though they won't actually be gay which is a huge difference. If you are bothered by this then you don't have to read the story but please, don't complain to me about it in a review/PM/whatever.

WARNING: FAKE shounen-ai and awkward situations.

Disclaimer: I don't own.

Give thanks to my beta phantom1ntheshadows.

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Chapter 3

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Sakura licked her lips and groped for a suitable topic to talk about but found none. Sasuke seemed unmoved and simply stared out of the window, chin propped up in his hand. He looked very bored but more relaxed than how he was before. He'd been with another girl who was very touchy-feely before she, according to Naruto, 'rescued' him. The blonde had come by earlier to set down their tea and give Sasuke a look of warning which caused the Uchiha heir to narrow his eyes in response.

She poured some milk into her tea, red tea was always best with a little milk, and looked to Sasuke. "Do you want some as well?"

His gaze slid to her and she was keenly reminded of the fact that she adored those eyes.

"No."

She shrugged and set down the creamer. "Does this whole 'host club' thing bore you?" she asked.

"Is it that obvious?" Sasuke returned sarcastically.

Sakura forced a smile on her face and said, "It is."

XXXXX

"Oh my god! Hinata!" Sakura cried, dropping down beside their fallen friend and patting her gently on the cheek. "Holy shit! Wake up, Hinata!"

Hinata didn't awaken and her cheeks were flushed unusually, having a sort of reddish hue.

Tenten had her cell phone out and was about to call for ambulance before one of the club members, Neji, came out, wondering what the hell was happening.

"What's going on here?" he asked briskly. His eyes moved over the group of girls till they landed on Sakura patting Hinata on the floor. "Hinata-sama?"

"She fainted!" Naruto explained hurriedly. "We don't know what happened!"

Neji was quiet for a moment and then he took charge. "Naruto, Kiba, get her inside. Put Hinata-sama in the side room and get some water for her. You three," he turned his attention to Sakura, Ino and Tenten, "come inside."

Tenten watched Neji stir his drink in a bored fashion, the black notebook he had been writing in placed on the table beside his arm. He had said he was free and she'd asked him to be her host today. From the many envious glares she'd gotten from the other girls in the room it was obvious he did this rarely.

"So," she began, breaking the tense silence that had enveloped them, "what do you do in the host club?"

Neji stared at her. "Drink tea, talk, if the girl wishes it we say romantic things."

"Sounds a little . . . Boring."

"Hn."

Tenten ran her finger around the rim of her cup. "Why did you join this thing anyways? You don't seem the type."

"I can assure you that I did not want to be a member." he replied stonily, a little bitterness in his tone.

"So, if I want you to say romantic things to me, you have to, right?"

"Yes." Neji answered warily.

"Well," she smiled, "then say something romantic to me."

"What would you like me to say, Tenten?"

"I don't know. Surprise me."

Neji frowned.

He knew he liked this girl, knew he wanted to impress her, but he just didn't know how.

How could he say something romantic without it coming out like complete crap?

Tenten could tell he felt uncomfortable about this and patted his hand gently. "It's alright," she said, assuming his nervousness was more because he had never really done something like this before rather than him wanting to say the right thing to her, "you don't have to." Tenten gave him a brilliant smile and ignored the fact that she was currently touching him and that touching with the Hyuuga was a big 'no no'. "I think it's sweet how nervous you seem. The more you say sugary stuff the easier it gets, ok?"

Neji didn't know whether to be appreciative of her thoughtfulness or insulted because she thought he was incapable of saying 'sugary stuff'.

XXXXX

Sasuke hated this.

At least she wasn't one of those clingy girls who wanted him to whisper in their ears and hug them. God, he hated physical contact even more since he started this club. Could this be a sort of cruel and unusual punishment? Could he sue Tsunade for all she was worth as revenge?

It would be sweet justice.

Sakura, evidently tired of trying to coax him into a conversation, had cracked open her text book and was writing out notes on a sheet of paper.

He remembered her still from their middle school days, when she was an annoying but brilliant fan girl. She was still brilliant, top of their class behind him, but thankfully she'd grown out of her obsession with him. He'd been surprised. Sakura had been one of the most devoted in his fan club but the moment he'd left for Oto Academy it seemed that she'd dropped all that and focused more on her studies. According to Shikamaru, she'd been number one in their class for the next two and a half years till he returned to take his place back at the top. The first time the test scores came around he remembered hearing that she'd stared at their scores for almost five minutes before stalking away and snapping at anyone who talked to her after that.

He was constantly amused at her efforts to beat him academically, as she obviously paled in comparison everywhere else.

He was a damn genius.

How could a girl like her ever hope to beat him?

For some reason he remembered Rock Lee and his stupid speeches on how he'd one day, with hard work and persistence, beat Hyuuga Neji, who was also a genius.

"You can go entertain another customer if you want."

Sasuke broke out of his thoughts and leveled her with his gaze. "Excuse me?"

Sakura tapped her pen on her knee. "You're not really doing anything with me so if you want you can go entertain another girl."

He stared at her for a moment, the constant tapping annoying him. "Stop that." he said irritably, narrowing his eyes at her pen.

"Oh," Sakura looked down at her hands and stilled. "Sorry."

Sasuke frowned and turned back to stare out the window.

For some reason her immediate compliance was more annoying than the tapping pen had been.

XXXXX

Ino stared worriedly over Kiba's shoulder, biting her lip. "Is she going to be ok? Is she awake yet?"

"Yes, to the first question, no, to the second." he replied, rolling his eyes. It'd been this way ever since the club had closed. Kiba put a piece of ice near Hinata's temples in an attempt to wake her, again, while Ino hovered like a worried mother. "Why did she faint?"

The blonde shrugged. "I don't know. Maybe you and Naruto's sex appeal knocked her out."

Kiba grinned wolfishly. "Well, I am the campus sex god—"

"Like hell!" Naruto yelled though the open door while carrying a used tea tray laden high with cups and saucers. "Only thing you're god of is morons!"

"Speak for yourself, dumb ass." Kiba snapped.

"Fuck you, d—"

"Naruto." The blonde boy winced at Sasuke's cutting tone. "Shut it." The dark haired teen walked into the room and stood beside the couch Hinata was currently laying on. "If she doesn't wake up in five more minutes you're calling your driver and taking her home, got it Hyuuga?" Neji had also appeared in the room and stood near the door. "I don't have time to wait around all day for your cousin to wake up."

Ino's eyes turned to an arctic chill as she gazed at Sasuke. "Where are my friends?"

"Putting away tea sets with Shikamaru and Naruto." Sasuke answered after a pregnant pause in which he noticed the way she glared daggers at him. It was quite amusing.

Shino, silent as usual, walked into the room, heading immediately to Hinata's side. He knelt down and produced a small bag from his back pocket. "Smelling salts." he clarified when Kiba cast him a quizzical glance. He held it under Hinata's nose, moving it around a little and after a few seconds the Hyuuga heiress's eyes snapped open.

"W-What—"

"Hinata," Shino said in his deep baritone, "are you alright?"

"S-Shino-kun!" she squeaked, eyes wide and cheeks flushed with embarrassment. "K-Kiba-kun!"

The dog lover put a hand on her shoulder and gave a toothy grin. "God, Hinata, you really gave us a scare there! Can you sit up?" he asked.

She nodded and pushed herself up. Hinata placed her hands on her knees and asked quietly, "Um, h-how long have I been o-out?"

"About three hours." Kiba replied. "You missed the entire club!"

Hinata's face turned redder and Ino placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.

"Hinata! It's alright, there's always next time."

She looked up at the blonde girl and was rewarded with a wink. Ino tilted her head in the direction of the door.

Hinata turned around slightly to behold a half-naked Naruto.

"N-N—"

"Hinata-chan!" he cried, rushing up to the blushing girl, "You're awake! How are you feeling? Are you ok? Do you want some tea? Food? Water?"

"Um . . . Um . . ." Hinata couldn't get a coherent word out seeing as the boy she was in love with was extremely close and sported no shirt. His chest was even better looking than she imagined. Sure, she'd heard stories about the P.E. classes which had Naruto in them, how great the view was according to his adoring fans, but hearing and seeing were two totally different matters. Her cheeks grew, if possible, even hotter and she needed some air.

"Hinata-chan?" he repeated, edging his face close. "Hinata-chan?"

"Give her some air, you retard!" Sakura screamed, forcefully pushing Naruto away with enough force to send him flying into the wall. The pink haired girl glared at the fallen blonde before turning a worried glance to her friend. "Hinata, are you alright?"

"F-Fine!" she replied, voice high. "Um, is N-Naruto-kun—"

"He's fine." Ino said, waving her hand to dismiss the matter. "That blockhead wouldn't die because he got thrown into a wall."

Kiba snorted.

"B-But I-I—"

"Now that she's awake," Sasuke's eyes moved indifferently over Hinata, "I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

"Sasuke! She just woke up!" Naruto protested.

"Hn."

It was the final word—sound—that left no room for discussion.

XXXXX

"Nara Shikamaru. Age seventeen. Birthday September 22nd and he's a second year high school student. His parents own a famous pharmaceutical company, the biggest in the world, and he has no siblings. He's a genius, in class 2A despite his laziness, and likes cloud watching, sleeping and smoking; he doesn't have any favorite classes.

He's really unenthusiastic and gets in trouble a lot for his lack of work ethic. He was friends with Uzumaki Naruto, Inuzuka Kiba and Akimichi Chouji in middle school and they always skipped class and caused trouble, similar to what they do now. Shikamaru doesn't like to be bothered but if it's really important he'll help you out. Shikamaru likes playing games like Shogi and Go and was once an international chess champion. His best friend is Akimichi Chouji (Parents own five-star restaurants, furniture companies etc.).

Right now he's going out with Sabaku Temari from Suna University.

His favorite colors are green and brown."

"So," Sakura stared at the picture of Shikamaru, "what's his role in the host club?"

Ino looked over her notes and leaned back against her headboard. "He's, like, their counsel I guess. Apparently Sasuke and Neji always ask Shikamaru his opinion on things so he must be in their inner circle and what not."

"More like triangle." Tenten said, propping her chin up on her folded hands. "Shikamaru, Sasuke and Neji . . . The Genius Triangle."

Sakura snorted before putting down the picture and resuming her studies. "I guess you're right."

The brunette girl rummaged around in Ino's tote and frowned. "Where are the others?" she asked. "I thought you kept them in your bag."

Ino shrugged. "I gave them to Hinata. She's attending one of those boring Hyuuga charity functions and I thought she might like some reading."

"Why so interested, Tenten?" Sakura asked slyly. "Want to know more about someone? Shino? He's a real catch, you know . . ."

"Oh yeah," Tenten replied sarcastically, rolling her eyes while Ino laughed, "I'm a sucker for dark sunglasses."

XXXXX

Uzumaki Naruto. Age seventeen. Birthday October 10th. Lives with Jiraiya, a Japanese Hugh Hefner times ten, and is his semi-adopted son. He likes eating (Favorite food is ramen), sleeping, talking and fighting. He's good at sports and runs track. He doesn't have any favorite subjects in school and doesn't excel in any of them really.

He's nice, energetic, funny and can be sweet sometimes when he's not a complete idiot. Naruto doesn't look like a typical Japanese person with his blonde hair and tan, because he spent a few years in America and was born with naturally blonde hair. Many girls love him because of his California 'surfer' look which is exotic. His best friend is Uchiha Sasuke and he's really good friends with Sabaku Gaara from Suna Academy.

Rumored that he dated Kazehana Koyuki, better known as Fujikaze Yukie, who is ten years his senior.

His favorite color is orange.

Hinata bit her lower lip as she reread the sentence about Naruto having been in a relationship with Fujikaze Yukie. The woman was a world renowned actress and was incredibly popular all throughout Asia . . . Not to mention she was beautiful, absolutely gorgeous with blue-silver eyes and blacker-than-black hair and sultry lips that guys seemed to just love. Hinata already knew that Kiba kept a poster of Yukie above his bed and she knew that Naruto was an avid fan of her movie where she played a princess called Fuun-hime . . .

She shook her head to clear her thoughts.

It was foolish to think that such a silly rumor was true when there wasn't any proof.

People talked all the time . . .

"Hinata-sama."

She gasped and crumpled the paper into her fist instantly.

"N-Neji-niisan!" Hinata squeaked, cheeks flushing. "W-What are y-you doing here?"

Neji's ivory eyes moved over her slowly for a moment, zeroing in on the blush on her face and, particularly, her closed fist with the paper in it. "Were you reading something?" he asked, voice cool.

"N-No! N-Not at all!" she lied, her nervousness making it incredibly obvious, and quickly rose from her seat and brushed invisible dust from her dress while putting the paper into her hand bag. "Let's g-go!"

XXXXX

The phone in his pocket vibrated intensely and Neji, knowing who it was, slipped out of the room unnoticed to answer.

"What."

"I saw what happened today."

Neji rolled his eyes at Shikamaru's general words. "Saw what?"

"The way you accepted that Tenten girl. You've never sat down with a customer before . . ."

"Hn."

"So," Shikamaru asked, "is she the girl you like?"

"I'm not answering that." Neji replied stonily.

"It is her then."

There was a bunch of snickering behind Shikamaru and Neji brought his hand up to his temples to massage them.

"Are they with you?"

"Perhaps." was the simple answer.

There was a scuffle from what Neji could tell through the phone, it sounded like Naruto was getting beaten by either Sasuke or Kiba, and then suddenly it was the Uchiha who spoke to him.

"I didn't know you'd become so desperate as to spend your free time with those idiots." Neji said dryly.

"You're funny, Hyuuga."

"What do you people want?"

"Always so direct. Can't you believe that we just wanted to call you because we missed you?"

"You're scaring me, Uchiha, don't be so friendly." Neji growled. A distant yell of 'he's on medicine!' echoed in the background and he suddenly understood why Sasuke was being so . . . Weird. "Medicine? What happened this time?"

"Fight with Itachi. Always gives me a headache."

"The usual then." Neji surmised. "Why do you keep doing this?" No response on the other end. "Your inferiority complex is getting out of hand, Sasuke. Just accept that you and your brother are not the same, that you will achieve greatness and that you will live up to your Uchiha name. Stop trying to do everything to get acknowledgement. It's unhealthy." After another moment of silence he brought the phone down from his ear and stared at the glowing screen.

Sasuke had hung up.

XXXXX

He did not have an inferiority complex.

Sasuke was awesome, hell, he was made from awesome.

Everything about him embodied awesome-ness and he was just . . . Awesome.

What type of awesome person had an inferiority complex?

It, just, wasn't awesome.

Yes, he was obsessive-compulsive; he wasn't the type to let things go easily, hell, none of the Uchihas were the type to let things go.

Sasuke flicked open the lighter and shut it, the metal making a clicking sound. He enjoyed watching the orange-yellow flame leap up and then shutting the top. The color oddly reminded him of the color macaroni and cheese, that oddly named crayon plagued his thoughts for a moment before he resumed opening and closing the lighter.

God, he loved fire.

Matches were much better than lighters; they smelled good after they were put out.

Yes, Uchiha Sasuke was also a pyromaniac, though not the type to start fires; he just enjoyed looking at them.

"You finished with that?" Shikamaru asked, holding out his hand lazily. "I need to smoke."

Sasuke closed the lighter and slapped it down into the outstretched hand. "Hn."

"Don't be one of those people who says it's a 'bad habit' because I know it is already."

"I wasn't going to say anything about your habits." he replied smoothly.

"Uh huh . . ." Shikamaru put a cigarette to his lips, lit it and inhaled, a look of gratification instantly appearing upon his face. He closed his eyes. "You're too smart to do this, but if you did, you'd understand my love of nicotine in a heartbeat."

Sasuke leaned against the fence lining the perimeter of the school roof, shoving his hands into his pockets. "Hn." He'd thought about it, had almost asked Shikamaru for a cigarette a few times, but it just didn't seem right to smoke; his parents would probably kill him and dying at the tender age of seventeen wasn't in his plans.

"So," Shikamaru began, taking a long drag and exhaling a cloud of grey smoke, "Neji and I read the comment cards. Naruto helped—"

Sasuke knew the blonde idiot only made matters worse by 'helping'.

"—Kiba and Shino were directing the movers so our new French restaurant theme will be ready in a few days."

"What about the comment cards?" he asked.

Shikamaru sighed heavily. "They want a lot of . . . Yaoi."

If Sasuke had any less control over his emotions he would've flinched.

"Excuse me?"

"You and Naruto are a popular couple. If you two did a sort of, gay, thing together we'd make at least twice as much as we make now . . ."

"Fuck no."

The Nara shrugged. "I knew you'd say that."

"Hn."

". . . You and Neji are also popular. Those girls seem to think you're a whore."

Him and Neji . . .

He suppressed a shiver.

XXXXX

"God! I am so bored!" Naruto whined. "What the hell are we doing here so early?"

Kiba shrugged. "Neji said there's supposed to be a meeting . . ." he looked around and Shino, reading no less, was the only other person in the room besides them. "But I think he was lying so we'd actually get here on time."

The blonde snorted. "Sly bastard. I hate being friends with geniuses sometimes."

Kiba mumbled his agreement since Shino had cast him a pointed glance from behind his sunglasses; he couldn't exactly see it but he could feel it, more or less. Shino was also a proclaimed genius, though his fame was a little muted compared to the other three.

"Let's do something then." Kiba said.

"What?"

"Don't know."

Naruto frowned for a moment before a light bulb seemed to turn on inside his head. "Let's pull a prank!" he suggested brightly.

"On who? There's no one here, idiot."

"Oh yeah . . ."

XXXXX

Sakura groaned. Loudly.

"I don't want to go anymore!" she yelled as she was roughly dragged down the hallway to a familiar music room on a familiar floor. "I have to study! I have a test in a week and I've got tons of homework to do—"

"I saw you doing that stuff during study hall, forehead." Ino said. "Don't try lying to me."

"Whatever!"

XXXXX

"Did you finish putting it on the floor?"

Naruto smirked. "Of course. I am the best prankster in three schools."

Kiba snorted. "Like that's something to be proud of?"

"It is!" he insisted.

"So," the dog lover said, looking around, "where's your anal best friend?"

"That anal bastard should be here soon . . ."

"What anal bastard, dumb ass?"

Naruto let out a 'manly' scream before whipping around to face Sasuke.

Crap, he thought, the teme is away from the door. He must've come in through the side . . .

XXXXX

"Me being there makes no difference, you know. Where are Tenten and Hinata? Why aren't they being forced too?" the pink haired girl demanded, trying to wring her wrist from Ino's impossibly strong grip. Her efforts were in vain. Sadly. "Once was enough for me, I swear!"

Ino scoffed. "Whatever."

They reached the room and the blonde haired girl pushed open the door forcefully, and ruefully pushed her best friend inside.

Sakura wasn't counting on the slippery floor when she tried to catch her balance.

How could she have known that only moments before Uzumaki Naruto had layered it with soap?

All she could think about was trying to find something sturdy to hold onto so she wouldn't fall and Naruto was the closest thing. She made a grab for him, noticing his wide blue eyes, but missed and ended up pushing the poor boy . . .

And sending him crashing into the Uchiha Sasuke.

Sakura fell to the ground, palms hitting shiny tile with a painful smack.

"Oh my god," she began, getting to her hands and knees because apologyzing on the ground was a little tough, "I—"

The words died on her lips because:

One, no one was paying attention,

Two, Uzumaki Naruto was on top of Uchiha Sasuke,

And three, they were kissing.

We live to serve our customers.

We want to make you happy.

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A/N: Reviews are my happy crack . . . and make me update faster.

No, this will not turn into SasuNaru because this is SasuSaku etc. and shall remain so. I just had to keep that weird Naruto-pushed-into-Sasuke kiss in the story because it was like the beginning of SasuNaru and I LOVE the pairing to death.

Kazehana Koyuki/Fujikaze Yukie is the princess/actress from the first Naruto movie.