Bella was in the bathroom with the door closed, no doubt examining her new body. I didn't think it was possible for her to be more beautiful, but my vampire venom had refined her features, made her womanlier, even more gorgeous.
I wanted to give her some privacy to allow her to adjust to this incalculable change. I just sat on the edge of the bed, head in my hands, feeling like I was going to be overcome by guilt and sadness. I don't know what I expected when she awoke, but she seems so dazed, maybe she is already regretting our decision. I wouldn't blame her.
After about twenty minutes, she opened the bathroom door; I raised my head, my eyes full of anxiety. She looked across the room at me with no expression on her pale, beautiful face.
I started to open my mouth to tell her how sorry I was for what I had done! That if she never forgave me I would understand. That even if by some small chance she still loved me, I didn't deserve it.
"Edward, what is it?" She said with confused concern, not understanding the look on my face.
"I'll understand if you hate me and never forgive me for what I have done." I couldn't even look at her as I said the words.
Unexpectedly, she let out a small chuckle, which made me look up in surprise to see a glorious grin on her face.
"Edward, how could I hate you?" clearly confused by my thoughts, "it's not even possible for me to not love you. You are my life and I would obviously rather die than choose to not be with you for eternity." I smiled back weakly, slightly comforted by her continuing thoughts of eternity together.
She walked over to me, all signs of clumsiness noticeable gone, pushing me back on the bed, pulling herself on top of me, her legs straddling my hips. She put her now cool hands on either side of my face, elbows on the bed, and stared into my amber eyes. It felt entirely different from the familiar touch of my Bella's soft, warm skin, but I couldn't say it didn't feel wonderful.
"How do I smell?" She asked playfully, turning her head to expose her neck.
I smiled and wrapped my arms around her hard torso and pulled her close to me, burying my nostrils in her neck while running my hands up and down her back.
"Like heaven…" The smells of her newly, sweetened breathe consuming my senses; she was just as sweet and floral but without the burn. She leaned down further and her full lips found mine. Fire consumed me, just like the first time we kissed in the woods, only now I realized, I did not have to fight off my unquenchable thirsty for her blood. I grasped her face and ran my fingers through her hair in desperation, kissing her ever more passionately, the emotions of the last three days overtaking me. She responded in kind, tightening her grip on my shoulders, taking in ragged breaths. We spent the next hour coupled, exploring our lack of physical limitations, not realizing how guarded we were the night before, finally giving each other fully to one another.
Afterwards, we lay entwined in each other's stone, cold arms. Bella looked up at me with a slight look of discomfort in her red eyes.
"Edward, I would give anything to lay here like this for the rest of time, but I have such a funny feeling inside me. I feel…" I could tell she was searching for the words.
"Empty," I answered wearily for her, knowing all too well what she was experiencing.
"Yes, is that how you feel when you're thirsty?" She asked, trying to comprehend.
"Yes, my love. That is our thirst."
"Does it go away, I mean, once I drink…blood?" She winced at the thought.
I sighed. I knew I should give her an honest response. "It doesn't entirely go away from animal's blood, for that you would need to feed from a human."
"Oh," was all she said in response, seeming to finally understand our perpetual struggle a little better.
After a moment of silence I said, "So, I guess we better get you out in the woods then," trying to lighten the mood.
We both got up from the bed and started to pack up. Her wedding dress was still lying on the bathroom floor, the delicate negligee strewn across a chair. We gathered our belongings and took one last look at the hotel room, the room that had offered us so much joy and at the same time so much agony.
We began the drive back to Forks in silence. I was having a very difficult time figuring out what she was feeling. She held my hand that was not on the steering wheel, but just stared down at her other, pensive.
"Bella, please tell me what you are thinking. I can't bear to see you like this, so unhappy."
"Edward, I'm not unhappy, I'm…nervous." She said with a sheepish grin.
"What do you have to be nervous about, the worst is behind you?"
"Well, what if the rest of the family doesn't like me as much as when I was a clumsy human? What if I am not fast enough to catch anything but a squirrel?"
I let out a little chuckle, "Well, I'm sure that Emmett will miss the entertainment of you falling all over the place, but he'll get over it. As far as hunting, I'll be there right with you, you'll do fine, you'll see. If it makes you feel any better, Alice said she's has been having visions of you adjusting remarkably well." That last comment made her look up at me hopefully. I gave her a loving smile in return.
We arrived at the house just a couple hours later thanks to my driving at twice the legal speed limit. Before we could even get out of the car Alice danced out the front door and ran over to Bella's side. She gave her a peck on the cheek and a quick hug and said, "I'm so happy you could finally join us." A big grin spread across Bella's face. My heart warmed at the sight of the two of them, the most important ladies in my life.
The rest of the family was gathering on the front porch, obviously waiting for our arrival. Each giving us their own warm response, even Rosalie who in the past had been so cold to Bella.
Once Emmett had let her out of his bear hug, this time not nearly crushing her to death, he said, "So when are we going to take you out for a spin, see what you can do?" with a chuckle.
I looked at him in disapproval. Bella grimaced back, showing her lack of confident in her new abilities.
I chimed in before she could say anything, "Thanks bro, but I think we will go alone her first time." Emmett shrugged in disappointment. The whole family had known the change was coming for a long time, well with Alice's repeated visions, and they all seemed to have their own ideas of what to do first with the new Bella. Selfishly, I wanted to cherish this time with my wife before we had to deal with reality.
Bella and I retreated back to my, our, bedroom. I smiled at the thought of now truly being able to "share my bed" with her. As soon as I closed the door, I turned around and pulled her to my chest, holding her as tight at I could.
She let out a little whimper and said. "Edward I may not need to breathe anymore, but it still feels good." She smirked up at me. I was glad to see her dry sense of humor was coming back; I was starting to get a little worried.
"So, what do I need to do to prepare for this?" She asked trying to not seem concerned.
"Um, prepare, nothing really, it's not like we need to don our camouflage." I said lightly.
"So, we are just going to run into the woods and hope that we come across an animal to eat?" She said slightly confused.
I chuckled, "No my love, we pick up their scent and track them. That's where all of the fun is, in the hunt. You would be surprised how much your new instincts take over." My eyes lit up as I said it. I hoped I didn't scare her with my enthusiasm.
"Okay, but I really don't see how, even with your immortal venom in me, I am going to be able to track and catch a large wild animal. But, if you say so." She said with a shrug.
"Just wait, you'll see." I smiled down at her in my arms. I had no doubt Bella would be fine.
In the interest of not crossing paths with any random hikers, we waited until it was nearly dark to go out into the woods behind our house. As we stepped out in to the early nightfall, I watched Bella. Her eyes wide as she realized she could expontentially better now, even with the dim light of the moon, than as a human. She grinned back at me; a look of excitement came over her features. I could tell she was ready to try out her new, sharpened abilities.
Quickly I picked up the scent of deer very near us and I saw that she did as well. She gave me a wicked grin and before I knew it she shot into the woods. I stood there in shock, as it took me a moment for it to click, and then I took off after her, letting out a loud laugh. I knew what direction she ran in, but I couldn't see her, where could she have possibly gone? I ran over the knoll and there I found her, lying on the ground, teeth sunk in the jugular of a large doe. My eyes went wide with alarm, discomfort and at the same time excitement swelled in me, at the site of my beautiful Bella draining the life from the animal. She broke away and let out a sheepish grin, blood all around her mouth.
"Well, I guess that answers your question on whether you will be good at hunting." I answered back to her in a parental tone. We continued on through the woods, both of us taking a few animals. I was not entirely thirsty, but she had that unquenchable newborn hunger.
By one in the morning we returned back home. Everyone was still downstairs waiting in anticipation to hear how Bella's first hunt went.
Emmett was the first to pipe up, as we walked through the kitchen doors, smiling, hand in hand,
"Well?"
Bella gave him that same sheepish grin and then embarrassingly looked at her feet.
"She's a natural." I said like a proud teacher.
"See, what did I tell you guys?" Alice cried out in delight. Emmett looked at Jasper, and Jasper said in response, "Pay up bro," while holding out his hand.
A look of comprehension flew across my face. "Did you seriously bet on whether Bella would be able to hunt?" I asked astounded, shoving Emmett, sending him stumbling to the side.
"Come on Edward, she was such an unbelievable klutz as a human, I honestly didn't think that even our immortality could over come that." Emmett said in his defense.
"I wouldn't have believed it either," Jasper said shyly, "But I wasn't about to bet against Alice." Knowing full well that Alice's visions were rarely wrong.
The whole family chuckled and the mood lifted considerable. We all sat around the living room until the sun came up remembering all of the wonderful moments of the wedding just a few short days ago. I sat on the couch with my wife on my lap, holding her left hand, absentmindedly twisting her wedding band around her finger.
"Alice, I have to thank you again for all that you did for the wedding. I know that I made it difficult for you, being so stubborn, but it was truly beautiful. I couldn't have asked for anything better." Bella said with sincerity.
"You are very welcome, I was happy to do it," Alice replied with a grin. Alice's two favorite past time in one, planning parties and spending money. "I'm just so happy that you two made it official," no one missed the double meaning to her comment.
We stayed close to the house for the next two days, hunting fairly frequently for Bella. We worked on her controlling her new strengths; she only ruined a few doorknobs and household items in the process. Although, a little more than a week ago, I felt nothing but dread for her change, now that she seemed to be adjusting so well and genuinely happy, it made my stagnant heart sing.
We were inseparable now and the other couples in the house were getting a little tired of our newlywed status already. We would chase each other all over the house, Bella squealing in delight as I "hunted" her down. I always won, returning her in my arms to our bed and gently making love to her.
The nighttime was the toughest time for Bella. It would be long past nightfall and the most adorable, confused look would come over her face because she couldn't understand why she wasn't getting sleepy. I'll admit the no sleep thing was a tough one to get use to, that and the whole drinking blood to survive.
Our plan was to stay in Forks through the "Honeymoon" and then move up to Alaska. Neither one of us wanted to leave the family, but decided it was necessary for the time being. It would be much too difficult to stay in town, and not be able to get out of the house every once in a while for fear of someone noticing her changes.
We were both technically enrolled as full-time freshman, but weren't entirely sure that Bella would be ready to mingle with coeds this semester. I had hoped in the back of my mind that Bella wouldn't be like one of the crazed newborns I had met over the years, overcome by thirst, unable to control themselves.
For the most part she was better, but when we stepped foot out our back door into the woods, she became an entirely different beast. I was still having a hard time getting use to it. Thankfully though, with all of her feeding and the sad fact that I drained her of most of her blood at the time of change, her eyes were already transitioning from the awful blood red to a warm orange-yellow. Much less noticeable were a human to catch sight of them.
We were in our bedroom on Thursday night, getting our clothes packed, when my cell phone rang. We both looked at it with surprise, knowing that everyone was home, wondering who could be calling. I picked up the phone and looked at the number, my eyes tried to hide my concern. It was Charlie, we now could not longer avoid the rest of the world, it was finding us whether we liked it or not.
"Hello," I answered in a forced light tone.
"Edward, it's Charlie. I'm so sorry to interrupt your honeymoon, I wouldn't do it unless it were important." I replied, "I know, no worries, what can I do for you?"
Charlie paused, "Well I was actually calling to speak with my daughter, is she available?" He asked with anxiety in his voice.
"Why yes, she's sitting right next to me, one moment." Bella looked up at me in confusion, still not knowing who was on the other line. I mouthed to her, "It's your father." Her eyes grew wide. I handed the phone to her, watching her carefully.
"Hi Dad." She said as happily as she could, knowing full well that something must be wrong for Charlie to be calling like this, especially while we were supposed to be in Seattle on our honeymoon. I had wanted to pretend we were going someplace much more exotic than Seattle since it was our honeymoon, I mean really, who honeymoons in Seattle? But Bella wanted to try to keep the convoluted lies to Charlie to a minimum. Easier to keep track.
I could hear Charlie's voice through the phone, what he was telling his daughter.
Bella, honey, I know you were planning on heading up to college right from Seattle, but I really need you to come home first. Charlie said almost pleadingly.
"Dad, I can't, we just don't have time. We have freshman orientation on Monday. It's when we pick all of our classes for the semester. We can't miss it." I saw her try to not choke on the lie. We actually had another full week until school technically started. She wasn't even going to start school, but again we were trying to keep the plotting thin.
"I'm sure I will be able to come home and visit at Thanksgiving or Christmas." She attempted to hide the increasing panic in her voice. Up until now, the transition had gone fairly smooth, but Bella had been getting more and more nervous about phasing back into the real world. We had enjoyed our protective cocoon of the mansion in the woods, where we didn't have to think too hard about who we are.
I heard Charlie saying that he understood and then he took a long pause, Bella, for Jacob, he's missing still and Billy is very worried about him. He said he kept going on about how couldn't take it, and if something happened to you, he was going to do something about it. There was obvious confusion in Charlie's words, but he knew that Billy was deathly worried about his son.
Bella's eyes grew wider and I could see the wave of guilt wash over her. She said she never regretted choosing me over Jacob, that it was not even a choice to her, she knew she couldn't live without me, but none the less, I held her in my arms the night she told Jacob of her choice. I held her, as she wept harder than I thought humanly possible, the whole time trying to reason with my own mind over what she was going through.
I knew I could never love anyone but Bella, but she had fallen in love with Jacob. Did I think that made her love me less? I'm still not sure. I don't see how that would be possible. But as hard as I tried, it still sent a shot of pain through me whenever he upset her, wondering if she wished she had chosen differently.
Bella hung her head down, her face in her hands, "Dad, I…just can't do it. I can't keep doing this. I can't keep up the connection between Jacob and me. Edward and I are married now, and I really want to move on with my life. I am sorry that Billy is worried about him, but I don't see what good us coming back to Forks would do. Jacob doesn't even want to see me." She pleaded with Charlie to understand.
Charlie's thoughts were still jumbled, but he responded that for some reason, Billy and Sam think that if Jacob could see that you were okay then he could move on with his life.
Bella let out a sigh, knowing full well that Charlie was not aware of what Bella had been through, that she was okay, but not in the human sense of the word. She was a vampire now, and Jacob and his pack could not know that first hand or they were liable to start a war with our family over breaking the treaty.
After a long pause, Bella replied, "Dad, let me talk with Edward and call you back. I need to think all of this through." Charlie agreed to that and hung up the phone.
I gazed down at Bella, she looked weary and shaken. I knew she was battling in her mind what do to. I was trying my best not to overreact, but her silence was making that increasingly difficult.
"Bella, I know that you would like to help Jacob, but you just can't, he can't witness first hand that you've become a…" Not finishing the thought.
Taking in a jagged breath and continuing, "We have talked this through so many times; it has to be part of the transition to sever as many ties with your old life as possible. It is easy for us to hide in a town full of strangers, but not from people you knew before, when you were…" I couldn't say the words. It still brought me a little sadness to think back to Bella being human. We were incredibly happy, but to think of the flush of her cheeks, her clumsiness, the erratic beat of her heart whenever I touched her. All of those wonderful things about her were gone and I did still miss them, so fresh in my memory.
Bella didn't answer me. She didn't even look up at me. I knew she had pledged to turn her back on Jacob and her life in Forks to spend an eternity with me, but at the same time she was still struggling with the consequences of our actions.
"I know Edward, I know." Was all said under her breath and got up and walked out of the room.
The rest of the evening was quite; we finished packing our things for college. I knew that Bella was upset, but I didn't know how to make her feel better. I only knew that I wanted to hold her tight to me, to protect her even though she didn't need it as much as before. She was sitting on the couch staring at one of her favorite Jane Austin books when I came into the living room and sat down beside her. She didn't look at me. I could tell she wasn't even looking at the words on the pages.
"Bella love, I know this is difficult, and I wish there were some other way. Jacob will be fine, he has his brothers, and they'll bring him back." I truly believed my words, Jacob was strong. She was still looking down and didn't say anything for a along moment.
"Edward, I'm afraid that Jacob is going to do something really stupid. Like something as stupid as when you tried to off yourself in Italy. How can I not do anything when I know I am the cause?" She mumbled under her breath.
I fought to not over react at the obvious concern in her voice, but the demons of jealousy were starting to rage up inside me. I was partly at fault for her falling for Jacob in the first place. If I had never left her, if I had asked her to pick me long before it came to that, if only I had done something right? I couldn't let it happen again. Bella was my wife now and she was not going to jeopardize our future for a vile, young werewolf! She could sense the anger building up in me. She looked up and tried to put on a brave face but ended up giving me a sad smile.
How could I possibly get upset when an angel was looking back at me? I comforted her the only way I knew how. I took her porcelain face in my hands and kissed her deeply and passionately. She reached up and clutched her arms around my neck, clinging to me in desperation. Without unlocking our lips, I picked her up in one swift move, took her up the grand staircase and placed her on our bed. We made quiet, frantic love, never disconnecting from one another, but both our minds racing in different directions. She never called Charlie back.