I want to see Batman Begins, Howl's Moving Castle, War of the Worlds, Willy Wonka, Corpse Bride, and Fanstatic Four. I've been begging to see them so far (since I can't legally drive). On the good news: I bought Escaflowne for DVD and it was cheap! – ZeroSoul
All's fair in love and sorcery; chapter one: "the pyramid of vlni, eater of souls"
It has been proven by the modern day science (or more like medieval age alchemy as most already advanced civilizations would name it) that you are in fact dumber in love. A good example to prove this thesis would be Sadira, the current sorceress of Land of the Seven Fair Dragons (which, ironically, no longer contained the seven fair dragons since they became bankrupt and moved away).
Sadira had fallen in love with Aladdin and had competed time after time to win his affection with his girlfriend, Princess Jasmine of Agrabah. Of course, each attempt failed miserably and blew up in Sadira's face.
So, Sadira had decided to give up on Aladdin – once and for all. Who needed a street rat when she could become the most powerful sorceress in all of the Seven Deserts? (She laughed evilly at this point)
Two years crawled by – Sadira purchased the empty Land of the Seven Fair Dragons and paved over most of the forest paradise to make her stone castle (which, in comparison to most castles – was very small). She practiced spells – blew up one of the rooms in her castle – cleaned up and practiced again – only to cause a fire – and then tried and tried again (her determination was immense and she knew nothing of the word "quit"…or at the moment she didn't).
Now, Sadira had to prove her magic by performing one of the most difficult spells she could find – The Working of Decay.
The Working of Decay was a very nasty spell which caused a plague that caused the skin to rot on anyone who was touched by the spirit viper that went around wherever it was sent. Sadira had been thinking about where to send the disease (perhaps she would take the rest of the forest in her land and make a parking lot out of it?).
However, the first order of business was to go to the Pyramid of Vlni, Eater of Souls.
"By The Marvelous Woods Of Pariaron, I Evoke The Energy Of Krymarar, I summon The Raven!" Sadira chanted.
A pillar of gray light shot up from the center of the room. The light faded away and left in place a gigantic raven with black feathers and blood red eyes. It stared at Sadira, towering over her and flapped its wings – sending gusts of air everywhere in the room.
"By The Ten Monoliths Of Wochelip, cut that out!" Sadira yelled at The Raven.
The Raven ceased it's flapping and walked over to Sadira. It put its giant eye at level with her face and blinked at her, "Dost thou dare stoppeth the winged beast of night, lest be the raven? Surely thou dost not wish for me to peck thine eyes out?"
Sadira blinked. She then threw a fit, "Oh, damn it all! I forgot that you speak that strange ye olde language! I can barely understand that!"
"Let it be know that I am not wicked in the heart and shall take you along my wings and upon the gay winds," said the Raven.
"You're going to have to do though," Sadira sighed as she got onto the Raven's back.
"Where shalt I fly, young maiden?" the Raven asked.
"Pyramid of Vlni, Eater of Souls – and step on it!" Sadira said.
"Away I fly!" the Raven said.
The Raven flapped its wings and then took off with a powerful thrust through the window. Sadira screeched as they crashed through the glass. She looked down at the broken window from the sky as the Raven flew.
"I hope my insurance covers that…" Sadira said.
Sorcerers, sorceress, soothsayers, witches, warlocks, magicians,and other magic users are often known for being (1) impatient and (2) throwing big hissy fits when things go wrong.
"IDIOT!"
Mozenrath was having one of those big hissy fits.
A steam of curses followed this outburst as Mozenrath. He had found the map, he had found the Pyramid of Vlni, Eater of Souls, he had also gotten to ride in a carriage since he didn't want to stuck out in the extreme heat of the sun, the carriage was pulled by Mamluks so all he had to do was sit in and then…
"YOU UNDEAD BLATHERING IDIOTS! I HAVE HALF A MIND TO MAIM YOU ALL AND SEND YOU INTO THE BOWELS OF THE NINTH LEVEL OF HELL WHERE THREE HEADED DOGS WILL FEAST ON YOUR INNARDS AND SLIVERS OF SOULS WILL BE CUT TO FEED DEMONS–"
…and so on.
The origin of these very common tantrums is well unknown to the magic users themselves. However, the every day folk know the reason why the fits occur, and is thus stated: "Those magick users think they're all that and they control every damn thing but they don't and when things fall apart and they think they were in control, they throw tantrums just like babes".
Of course the magic users, being the smug bunch they have always been, denied such a reason and then threw a big tantrum when the reason given was proven.
Mozenrath, after cursing and yelling and turning two of the Mamluks into a fine ashen dust – calmed down and took several deep breaths and tried to think his way through this situation. He was Mozenrath after all – Lord of the Black Sand, sexiest sorcerer alive, and the most powerful as well.
"Let's see – I'm stuck in the desert with a flying eel and some dead guys for company because one of them ran the carriage over a jagged rock and broke a wheel," Mozenrath said to himself, thinking out loud, "What to do…what to do…what to…"
Within a matter of minuets, he came up with an idea. Mozenrath went outside of the carriage and traced a triangle within a circle and thus chanted as he stepped away from the circle-triangle.
"By The Tome Of Deunis, I Invoke The One-hundred Canyons Of Til-yit, and Summon the Winged Serpent of Norein!" Mozenrath chanted.
The triangle and circle glowed and then a giant serpent with bat wings appeared.
"I am darkness…I am the night…I am…THE WINGED SERPENT OF NOREIN!"
Mozenrath blinked.
"You do realize it's daytime?" Mozenrath said, "And that you're a foot tall?"
The Winged Serpent of Norein looked up at Mozenrath. Yes, it was a serpent, yes it was winged – but it was small enough for Mozenrath to crush under his foot! The Winged Serpent of Norein looked up at Mozenrath with big pleading eyes.
Mozenrath glared at the Winged Serpent of Norein, "You're not the real Winged Serpent,"
"Yes I am!" protested the Winged Serpent of Norein.
'It has a CHILD'S voice!' Mozenrath thought. Mozenrath rubbed his temples in aggravation, "No, you're not. The Winged Serpent of Norein is a 50 feet tall beast that breathes fire and has blood red slanted serpent eyes. You, my friend, are 12 inches high, big amber eyes, and you're a child!"
The Winged Serpent of Norein looked down and sniffled as it began to cry. Mozenrath grumbled as it spoke, "I'm sorry, mister. I was playing with my Dad's summoning circle and then you summoned me and I tried to pretend I was him but you found out...and…and…"
The (diminutive) Winged Serpent of Norein then to began to cry. Mozenrath grumbled – there were several things he hated. At the top of his list was: (1) Aladdin, (2) Destane, (3) children, (4) the curious emotion known as 'love', and (5) musicals.
"WOULD YOU SHUT UP?" Mozenrath yelled at The Winged Serpent of Norein. The Winged Serpent of Norein sniffled and looked at him. Mozenrath tapped his foot, "So, you're not the Winged Serpent of Norein – you're his son?"
"Yes. My name is Billy, mister," said The Winged Serpent of Norein."Well, Billy, I just wasted a good portion of my magic summoning you and I won't recharge for a while," said Mozenrath.
"Gee whiz, mister, I'm sorry!" Billy said.
"Not as sorry as you're going to be, Billy…" Mozenrath said, "Xerxes, come here for a minuet…"
Two bounty hunters had been travelling through the desert and were going to reach Agrabah so that they could capture their bounty – a well-known criminal who had slipped through their grasp before. While travelling on camel, one of them swore they saw a flying eel and a tiny winged serpent hooked up and pulling a limping carriage across the desert as some strange undead zombie things pushed it in the back.
The other bounty hunter commented by saying that the other had been in the sun too long.
The Pyramid of Vlni, Eater of Souls, was a large pyramid (obviously) made entirely out of brick and was situation right in the center of the desert. Sadira flew overhead of it and gazed at the gigantic pyramid. The Raven landed on the eastern side of the pyramid and Sadira got off of it.
Unknown to Sadira, Mozenrath arrived on the western side of the pyramid along with an exhausted Xerxes and Billy.
Sadira went through the eastern entrance to the pyramid and Mozenrath went into the western entrance.
I like doing short chapters. I don't have to kill my brain in thinking. – ZeroSoul