It was mid-December by now, the winter was increasingly cold and dark. It made us realize how much we appreciated the dreary overcast days of Forks. At least there, you knew the sun was somewhere, even if behind the clouds. I could tell that Bella was getting cabin fever. She spoke with Alice more often on the phone. Alice told her how much everyone missed us; it was terribly quiet there without Bella to cause trouble. I reassured her that our separation from the family was only temporary, but thought realistically it would be a while until we returned. Typical Bella put my feelings first and told me she couldn't be happier having me all to herself, but I suspected otherwise.
Bella occasionally corresponded with Charlie and Renee, becoming very creative with her non-existent college life. Luckily both her parent's realized that Bella was an adult now and didn't pry much. They seemed to be okay with letting her lead her new life with me, without much interference, since she was seemed happy. In the back of our minds we knew there would come a day that the only solution would be for Bella the human to die, but now needn't be the time.
She had worked up her tolerance so that she didn't need to feed more than twice a week, which was impressive for this early stage. Though I can't say that I am the least bit surprised, everything about Bella was extraordinary.
I wanted to cheer her up, so I planned a surprise, something I knew she had never done as a human. We were in the living room, Bella was pouring through another book, and I was at the piano. There was a knock at the door, Bella's eyes shot up to mine with distress.
"It's okay love, it's just a package I ordered." Once the courier had left the house, I went to the front door to retrieve the box.
"What did you order?"
"It's a surprise, come on, we are going out." I replied back with her favorite crooked grin.
"Okay, whatever you say. I'll take any reason to see you smile like that." She beamed back.
I put the boxes in the back of our black BMW X5 4.8Lis, a wedding present from Emmett and Rosalie. They had wanted to get us a Hummer H2, but I preferred something a less ostentatious, and faster. I knew we needn't drive far until we would arrive at my planned destination. I drove the truck off the road a bit on a dirt path covered with snow, deeper into the woods. It was close to eight p.m. and the sky was perfectly clear, a pristine evening. If we were human, it would have been much too cold, but that was not the case.
"Where are we?" Bella asked with complete confusion.
"A small lake about five miles from the house."
"And why are we at a frozen lake?"
"Look in the box." I coyly responded.
Bella got out of the truck, I could hear the snow crunching under her boots, and went around to retrieve the package from the back. I followed her around, not wanting to miss her response.
She opened the package to find two pairs of ice skates, one for her, white figure skates, and one pair for me, black hockey skates.
She looked up at me with dubiousness, "And what are we suppose to do with these Edward? I realize that I no longer trip over my own feet, but this is a stretch, I don't think even as a vampire I could pull off ice skating."
"Trust me Bella. You'll do great, and it's a lot of fun. I wanted us to do something I knew you never did as a human, and for good reason." I chuckled.
"Okay, but you are lucky I am nearly indestructible now!" I laughed at her self-deprecating humor and kissed her on the top of the head before putting on my skates.
I pushed out on to the ice, it was extremely smooth. There was no wind and the bitter cold air even chilled my lungs. Bella paused on the edge of the lake, looking up at me in irritation at my apparent ease.
"It's okay, you're not going to fall, but I will catch you if you do." Smiling, I held my arms out for her.
With trepidation, she placed her right leg on the ice and pushed off. Bella glided across the lake like a swan, nothing but pure elegance, to the right side of me and then circled around. Though I never doubted how she would do, I was impressed with her grace and beauty. She started to skate away from where I stood in the center, giving me a devilish grin over her shoulder.
"Oh, no you don't Mrs. Cullen!" I pushed off after her, grabbing her around her delicate waist, the momentum made us both twirl around in each other embrace. I turned her around to face me, placing my hand on her sweet face, delicately kissing her full lips.
Bella put her hands to my chest and pushed off, gliding backwards, taunting me to chase her by curling her index finger at me.
"Do you really want to do that? You know I always win." A huge grin on my face as I took off after her. She jumped into action trying to get away. After a few laps around the small lake, I caught up to her and pulled her to the snowy ground, sending her into a fit of giggles. I couldn't help but laugh just listening to her. We lay there in the snow, I propped myself up on my elbow looking at her glorious face, as she stared up at the night sky.
"Thank you Edward, I guess I didn't realize I needed that." Her eyes shifted from the sky to my smoldering stare. Just gazing at Bella, her hair strewn all over the snow, her beautiful eyes staring up at the heavens soaking in their depths, made my heart glow with happiness.
"You are very welcome. It is my one and only job to make you happy, don't you know that by now?" I leaned over her and kissed her deeply and passionately.
We frequented the small frozen lake and Bella was getting exceptionally talented at skating, doing all kinds of twirls and jumps. We also ventured in to the town a few times to air Bella out, let her feel like apart of civilization again. I was uncertain about it, but she assured me that she felt in control of her urges. I knew she would not be able to advance her tolerance to humans if she didn't push her limits occasionally.
We kept our distance from the people, going in the evenings when there wouldn't be many on foot. Bella had done well, initially she had to use all her restraint to keep the red haze from creeping up on her, but it was getting easier for her.
It was one of those evening trips in to town that it happened. We were walking hand in hand through the business area, it was very cold and there were flurries of snow in the air and thick ice on the sidewalks.
There was a mother and child walking about fifty yards in front of us, a safe enough distance for Bella to be comfortable. Bella was looking to her right at the store windows with all of their Christmas decorations. She was saddened that we would be away from family for Christmas. I saw the child slip on the ice, her hands going out in front her to break her fall. She started to cry as she got up, holding her palms up for her mom to see.
By the time it hit my senses, it was almost too late. It took all my strength to pull Bella back to me, to my chest, holding her tight. Her arms and legs were flailing wildly trying to escape, her eyes had glazed over and the growl of hunger was coming from her chest. I quickly pulled her into an alleyway, away from the sight of any humans. I pushed her back against the brick wall, holding her hard against her shoulders.
"Bella! Bella! Listen to me. It is a child. I know you don't want to kill that child. Look at me Bella." She was looking straight through me as I tried to break her trance.
I shook her shoulders and grabbed her face, forcing her to look me in the eyes. The ferocity and anger that I saw in her eyes was overwhelming. I felt my first twinge of regret. I wanted to cry out in anguish seeing my Bella like this, not because I couldn't handle seeing the blood-lusting devil that resided in all of us, but because I felt like I had stolen her innocence the day I changed her.
Finally, I felt her body relax slightly, her eyes refocused and found mine, hers going wide with fright. She threw her arms around my neck and buried her head.
"Oh god Edward. That was awful. I had no idea it would be like that. How could I have been so foolish?"
I put my hands on either side of her face and made her look at me, "Bella, it is not your fault! Do not blame yourself for this. You had no idea how much stronger their blood smells. This is all part of learning, we all went through this."
Her eyes pleaded with herself to believe me. "But Edward, what if…"
"Shh, my love. Don't even say 'what if?' it doesn't matter. Everything is okay. You are doing exceptionally well for only four months in to this life, much better than any one else. I know it was frightening, the loss of control, but you have to experience it to learn to deal with it."
I pulled her close to me, holding her tight. As much as I would try to prevent it, I knew she would blame herself, put a notch in her confidence. We stood in the alleyway for a long time, letting the snow fall on us, finally turning to retreat back home. Bella went straight in to our bedroom and quietly closed the door. I knew her well enough to know she just needed some time.
I called Carlisle, "Hi Edward, how are you doing? How's the weather us there?"
"It's good, cold and getting very dark." I am sure the weight of the recent events was evident in my voice.
"What wrong son?"
"Bella had her first set back today. Nothing happened to any humans, but it still scared her to death. I know she is going to have a hard time getting past this. What can I do for her to make her understand that unfortunately, for us, this is normal?"
"Edward, Bella has a strong heart. This will be difficult for her to understand, just as it was for you, only she has a much deeper understanding than any of us had at this point as to the ways of this life. She will be okay. I know you want to protect her, as we all do, but she needs to experience this pain to see past it, to work harder at building her tolerance." Carlisle said, the sincerity and worry seeping through his words.
"I know, I just feel so helpless when she is upset like this. I want her to be happy." My hands were covering my eyes, trying to block out the sight of Bella in that state.
"She is Edward, Alice conveys to us all the time how happy she sounds. She loves you and she knew this would happen some day. You in no way diluted her to that fact. All you can do at this point is continue giving her your love and support. She'll be okay." I knew that Carlisle's words were true, but I was impatient when it came to Bella's well being. I knew I couldn't protect her from the world, especially our world with all of its demons, but I still yearned to try. I went into the bedroom, she was lying on the bed, her back to me, staring at the fire. I climbed into the bed and pulled her close to me, molding her body to mine, silently trying to abolish her pain.
The next day, Bella was better, seeming to have come to terms with the previous evening's events. She was buzzing around the house doing some housekeeping. I was at the piano trying to work out a piece that had been flitting through my head for several days.
"That's nice," She said, coming up behind me, putting her arms around my neck.
"Thanks, I can't seem to get this one part down right, but I'm sure it will come to me. Maybe I just need a little inspiration." I said, pulling her around to my lap. I was just about to be in my preferred position, attached to my wife's lips, when my cell phone rang on the kitchen counter.
She pulled me closer to her and whispered in my ear, "Don't get it"
"As appealing at that sounds, and believe me it does, I probably should." I gave her a smoldering look. I could feel my eyes darken with lust, "Don't go anywhere."
"Hello"
"Edward, it's Charlie."
"Hi Charlie." I am sure he heard a bit of surprise in my voice; Charlie very rarely called unless it was important. "Would you like to speak with Bella?"
I handed the phone to Bella, she looked at me with concern, "Hi Dad, how are you?"
"I'm…okay kid, um, Billy died yesterday, complications with his diabetes. They are having a service for him in two days. I thought if there was any way that you could take a few days off from school and come home." There was pure anguish in Charlie's voice. He had already lost his other close friend Harry Clearwater the year before, and now Billy.
Bella just stood there with her mouth hung open, uncertain how to answer. I am sure part of it was the shock of Billy's death, we didn't even know his health had declined further, but more predominant was the issue that Bella was in no way ready to return to Forks to see her human family.
Her voice was unsteady, "I'm so sorry Dad, I know you must be so upset, but I'm not sure about coming home. I have a big test tomorrow that I can't miss and Edward..." I came up behind her and wrapped my arms around her waist, burying my face in her hair.
He cut her off, "Bella, you know I wouldn't ask you if it weren't important. You need to come home. Billy was like an uncle to you, and Jacob needs you right now. Sam finally found him and brought him home and then this happened." Charlie's voice was authoritative.
"Okay Dad, we'll try to work it out, I'll call you once we have our plans set." She hung her head down, knowing the impossibility of his demand.
She clicked the phone shut and turned around in my arms. She looked up at me with complete despair. I bit my lip from telling her the obvious that returning to Forks, much less for a funeral where there would be countless warm-blooded humans all packed into one building, was completely out of the question.
"Bella, my love." There was only love and concern in my eyes and I looked down at her.
"I know…I know Edward. I didn't know what to say to him, he's in so much pain and he doesn't have anyone now. I couldn't tell him no." Her eyes pleaded with me to find a way to make it work.