Title: Hard Days

Author: Fluff

Fandom: Gundam Wing

Pairing: eventual 2 x 3

Warnings: Some vague spoilers

Summary: Duo decides he can no longer be left alone with his memories. He calls on an old acquaintance to relive a life he both misses and regrets.

Author's Note: This chapter is more of an interlude than anything else. I felt a bit of whimsy in my bones. Enjoy.

Disclaimer: Gundam Wing is copyrighted to its lawful owners.

Hard Days

Chapter 3

By Fluff

Trowa, much to Duo's surprise, liked to talk. Always under the assumption that the other was silent, Duo figured filling up the time would be exhaustive. However, Trowa pushed forward with his steady flow of surprises and talked the minutes away.

"But I just couldn't do it," Trowa said to Duo, a lilt to his voice. "Quatre's eyes were just too big and watery - I couldn't refuse." Trowa had been regaling his companion with a story of Quatre dragging him, one shade away from kicking and screaming, to some strange fund-raiser the Winner boy was throwing.

"Did you have to wear a suit?" Duo pressed, grinning.

"Tuxedo." Trowa's lips twisted into a disgusted sneer. "I felt so ridiculously awkward. And once he started introducing me..." Trowa trailed off with rolled eyes. "It was an utter nightmare."

"You just can't say no to him, can you?" By this point, Duo was chuckling sporadically. He was amazed, really, to discover this side of Trowa Barton. Previously, Duo had figured his companion was fairly one-dimensional.

"I don't want to say no to him," Trowa replied softly, quietly, as if to himself.

"You and Quatre, are you... anything?" Duo asked, treading gently into unknown and possibly very scary territory.

"We're friends. I'm unsure of Quatre's sexuality," Trowa said clinically. "And I don't have one."

"You don't have sex?" Duo balked.

"That's not what I said." There was a slight redness staining Trowa's cheeks and nose, but his eyes betrayed nothing. "I just don't classify myself, sexually. It's never really been an important issue."

"All right," Duo replied, for lack of anything else to say. He was confused and surprised and oddly warm for the depth of conversation. "Okay."

"I don't mind talking about it, if that's where we're headed," Trowa said with a half shrug, topping off his teacup with lukewarm tea. The pot had been sitting between them for a good hour, forgotten.

"I'm not about to ask about your sex life," Duo laughed, his voice a little high. "It's not something that would ultimately define you, anyway. You're Trowa Barton: Sex is inconsequential, right?" Duo grinned at his companion.

"What would ultimately define me?" Trowa asked, his eyes a bit wide, a ghost of a smile on his lips.

"No clue," Duo replied, waving his hand airily. "Not sure I'd want to know, either."

"The clown part scares you, doesn't it? It's okay, I understand." Now Duo really laughed.

The cold air was crisp in Duo's lungs as he breathed deeply, and there was not a breeze to speak of. Duo and Trowa walked companionably down the cobblestone streets, their elbows nearly touching, reveling in the gray sunlight straining down to the earth.

"It's not so bad here, without the wind," Duo said lightly as they headed to the Lain Lamb. "And it's absolutely gorgeous in the summer." He hooked his thumb over his shoulder noncommittally: "The view of the ocean is fantastic."

"I must visit you again in the summertime," Trowa replied. "There's nothing more peaceful than walking through the tides when it gets hot."

"Yeah," Duo said softly, "you'll need to come back." They lapsed into silence after that. Duo thought about Trowa's words: He'd come back? Not after what Duo had to say, that was for sure. They hadn't really even talked about anything remotely resembling scary or traumatic, they hadn't eventouched the war or the Gundams. Trowa wouldn't want to come back after that.

"For there being no wind, you certainly seem chilled," Trowa said off-handedly as Duo tried to suppress a shudder at his thoughts.

"Still not used to it," Duo replied bitterly as he wrenched open the door to the Lain Lamb without another word.

Duo knew he was dreaming, but he couldn't wake up. He tried and tried, but to no avail. This nightmare was determined to repeat itself tonight, and Duo could do nothing to stop it.

He stood before Heero Yuy, wearing his old priest's collar, and watched as Zero's pilot fondly caressed a rusty firearm. Heero's eyes were blank and distant as he slowly raised the gun and aimed the barrel squarely between Duo's eyes.

"You don't have to do this," Duo said, seemingly for the millionth time. His voice no longer trembled in the dream, as he had discovered by this point that the nightmare-Heero had no problem blowing his brains out the back of his head.

"It needs to end," Heero said flatly, his finger completely still over the trigger. "It has ended for the others, Duo. And now it needs to end for you, too."

Duo shot straight up in bed as he felt that familiar dream-pain poke him between the eyes, and the echo of the gunshot ricocheted off the sides of his skull as he breathed unevenly. Tonight's was the same as every other night's horrible dream. It was always Heero, uncaring and cruel, killing him over and over. It was always that rusty gun and that sure hand that saw through his nightly demise.

"Fuck," Duo said hoarsely into his dark room. He ran a sweaty hand through his bangs and he debated on whether or not to go downstairs and tell Trowa what he had just been through - what he had been going through for years. A light knock on his door made that decision for him.

"Duo?" Trowa said softly against the door. "I heard a noise."

"Come in," Duo replied, throat strained against fading panic. The door opened slowly and Trowa poked his head around, his hair sleep-mussed and his eyes half-lidded.

"I had a nightmare," Duo said quietly, then shifted over so Trowa could sit on the bed.

"Want to talk about it?"

"Not really."

"Then why am I here?" Trowa wasn't even looking at him. Green eyes were seemingly glued to the faded hardwood floors of Duo's bedroom. Duo followed his gaze.

"I don't know," he replied almost soundlessly, the dream still quivering through his body, pinching at his spine with icy pincers.

"Tell me about it," Trowa said, flopping backward on the bed, his eyes now on the ceiling. Duo didn't move.

"Heero kills me every night," Duo said, his voice distant, detached. It sounded like it was coming from another room. "Every night, he holds up a gun and tells me it's over. Then he shoots me, I feel the pain, and I wake up. It's not, like, a heart-stopping nightmare, or something that freaks you out over the whole day."

"But something about it bothers you," Trowa cut in quietly. "You're losing sleep over it. That may not be the whole day, but it's something." Duo heaved a big sigh then fell back beside his companion.

"It's something," Duo agreed. "It's Heero, I think. It's because it's Heero. I know he doesn't hate me, and I know he wouldn't waste his time to come here to kill me. But it still scares the living shit out of me."

"It's because he was your comrade, maybe. Don't you think you'd have the same reaction were it me holding that gun?"

"No," Duo said, rolling to his side to face Trowa. "It wouldn't be the same. That would freak me out the whole day. I think I'm closer to you now than I ever was to Heero. I know some little things about you that make you human." Duo chuckled ruefully. "I'd have more of a problem with a friend shooting me between the eyes."

"Is that what I am?" Trowa asked, almost whimsically. He turned, too, to face his companion. "Am I your friend, Duo?" And suddenly the room got very small, and it was only the two of them lying on that bed. Duo felt constrained, somehow, and would've liked nothing better than to dash out of the house.

"Aren't you?" Duo asked, having to clear his throat a little. "I mean, I know you're a restless sleeper. I know what you take in your tea. I know that you don't like yourself and you think no one else likes you, either." His little speech earned Duo a set of raised eyebrows.

"You know how I sleep, so that makes me your friend? You have awfully easy standards to live up to, Duo." Trowa smiled a comforting smile. "And I like myself fine. I live with myself fairly easily." He put up a hand to stop whatever Duo was about to say: "And it was Catherine who pushed the medication. I was helpless to stop it."

"Bullshit," Duo ground out. "You could've said no."

"Probably," Trowa replied evenly. "Maybe I thought they would help."

"Help with what?" Trowa smirked.

"The nightmares," he whispered. Duo blinked at Trowa, suddenly aware that he, too, was quite human and that he, too, had innumerable flaws. So, Duo did what seemed appropriate in his head: He threw one arm over Trowa, like Solo used to do with him, and promptly went to sleep.

Neither of them dreamed that night.

Duo woke up shivering. In his grand idea to curl up with Trowa, he had forgotten to put a blanket over either of them.

"It is drafty up here," Trowa said groggily when he awoke to Duo scrambling madly for his comforter. Finally successful in unearthing the covering from beneath Trowa and himself, Duo threw the blanket over them.

"You have no body heat, man," Duo said from between his teeth. "Seriously, who freezes when they're touching someone else? No blood in you!"

"It's all the cold tea I've been drinking," Trowa said around a yawn.

"Wanna go back to sleep?" Duo asked, tucking the blanket behind the other. He looked down at Trowa when he received no response, and saw that Trowa had already fallen back into a dreamless sleep. Duo smiled and laid back down beside his companion, and quickly followed suit.