The funeral was at ten in the morning at the spiritual center on the reservation. Bella had requested that we go over to Charlie's house before he left. As we made our way to her old home, my mind was racing with concern for her. So much had happened in the last five months and she had progressed so far in her new life, what would seeing Charlie, especially under these circumstances do to her?
I led Bella up a tree a few hundred yards from the edge of the forest. I thought it best for us to be up off the ground, plus it gave Bella a clear view into the kitchen window. We sat in silence as she stared through the small, glass frame. Charlie was in his one suit, severely outdated and questionably tight. Bella was engrossed watching him move about the house preparing to leave. He sat down at the kitchen table, hanging his head down into his hands.
She turned to me, "What is he thinking?" a look of hope in her eyes, that maybe he wasn't doing as badly as she feared.
I focused my thoughts on Charlie which were transitioning all over the place, I hate this suit…I really should get a new one, maybe the next one I will actually wear for a happy event…first Harry now this…then Bella… I miss her, her cooking, her company…this house is so quiet without her, even when she was grounded and angry was better than this…she is grown and married Charlie, he cringed slightly at that last thought, can't expect her to hang around the old man forever,
"He misses you very much, but understands that you are an adult now and he knew he couldn't keep you with him forever." I relayed, sweet love in my voice.
But this, how could she do that, how could she not come home when I needed her! Maybe I got too dependent on her. Hadn't I taught her better than to abandon her family? She hasn't even called Jacob like she promised she would! Charlie was shaking his head, brow furrowed.
"Edward, what is he thinking now, he looks angry?"
Do I tell her how upset he is when she is already tormenting herself? I can't censor his thoughts for her, I would want to know the truth if it were me in her situation.
I looked back at Bella, hesitating with being the one to break her heart further, "Edward tell me." She implored with desperation.
I hung my head down and whispered back, "He's thinking about how you let him down." I saw the words cut through her like a knife, "and how angry he is that you haven't called Jacob like you said you would." The last statement looked like it would have killed her if she weren't already dead. In an instant, Bella was on the forest floor and running full speed into the woods.
I jumped down and followed her at a distance for a few minutes. I could easily catch her if I wanted to, but surmised that she might need some time to herself. I was confident that she had enough self-control at this point to stay away from town. Like she said to Alice, I wanted to protect her from the pain, but in reality I couldn't. I could only give her my love and support when she needed it. But my heart ached that she didn't seem to need me. I made my way back to the house at a human's pace. When I walked in the door, Alice and Jasper were on the couch watching a movie.
"Hi Edward, where's Bella?" Jasper inquired since Bella and I were inseparable.
I felt the weariness on my face. Before I could respond Alice pushed herself up from Jasper's chest, he gave her a disapproving scowl at their physical separation, "Edward, she's going to be okay. She'll be back later today." I nodded in reply, silently thanking Alice for the comfort. I headed up to our room, feeling a sharpening to the dull ache that was always present when we were apart.
I scanned my CD collection for something to lose my troubled thoughts in, settling on Damien Rice. I turned it up as loud as was polite considering everyone else was home and laid on our bed absorbing the melodic guitar and soothing lyrics. Blocking out the minds of my family members, attempting to shift my thoughts to once we were over this hurdle and back to our blissful existence. I recollected my desire to speak with Carlisle about us moving back in the family. I didn't wish to put them out by having to moving again, but knew they would willingly do so if it made Bella and me happy. Esme would be thrilled at the chance to have a new project house. She had been done with our current home for some time and needed a new mission.
It had been several hours and Bella had not returned to me, but I had faith in Alice's vision that she would when she was ready. I would have been happy to wallow in my sadness and guilt until she did, but thought the time would pass more quickly if I were productive. I heard Carlisle return from work, greeting Esme in their bedroom where she was working on a painting. After giving them some private time, I would go speak with him. I had also been meaning to ask Alice if she had any visions of the Volturi coming to check on Bella's status as a human. As if able to read my thoughts, Alice appeared in my doorway.
Edward. I turned to acknowledge her presence, and then motioned for her to come in. She flitted across the room as only Alice could, as if in choreographed ballet moves, and came to sit next to me on the bed.
"I was just going to come speak with you, how did you know?" I inquired, staring back up at the ceiling.
"I didn't really, but I seem to be in tune to you more than the others. I figured you could use a shoulder right now." She shrugged with a sweet smile.
"Thanks Alice. I appreciate your concern, but don't worry about me, I'll be fine." I attempted a smile in return, knowing it came nowhere near reaching my eyes.
"Edward Cullen," she scowled at me, "don't you dare blame yourself for this, for her pain. She knew what was going to happen and she is dealing with it the best she knows how. Bella doesn't need that right now, she needs the whole you!" Alice was right. I am no good to Bella wallowing in my own self-pity and guilt; all the same, I was finding it difficult to push through.
Needing to change the subject to get my mind prepared for when Bella came back, I remembered what I wanted to ask her. "Alice, have you seen any decisions by the Volturi to make us a visit, to check on Bella?"
She shook her head, "No, I haven't and I have been watching them carefully. If they are planning on it, they have been vigilant to not voice their decision. I'll let you know if I do ever see anything to be concerned with. But like you said, their version of time is different from most. It could be a years until we meet with them again, at least, we can hope." With that she grabbed my hand and squeezed it, then rose from the bed and walked out of the room.
Getting up as well, I made my way to the hall, just as I did, I heard Bella enter the house. I flew down the stairs with all my unnatural speed to meet her in the entranceway. Without saying a word I scooped her up in my arms and ran up the stairs to our bedroom, needing her alone before everyone else inundated her with their concerned words. She didn't say a word to stop me, resting her head on my shoulder and relaxed into my arms.
We sat on the leather couch for several minutes without speaking, just needing to be near each other again, dulling the pain in my heart, but not completely eradicating it until I knew she was okay. I held her as tight as I could, burying my nose on the side of her face, breathing her in.
When she finally spoke, it was barely a whisper, one that only our acute senses could hear, "I'm so sorry Edward…" I stopped her by putting my finger to her lips, her eyes going wide with alarm.
"There is nothing to be sorry for love. No words need to be said. I am here for you how ever you need and if you don't want me around, I understand that as well." In reality, that notion caused me physical pain, but I would do whatever she asked of me.
"Edward, how could you think that?" determination in her voice, "Of course I want you with me…I ran away because I…was ashamed of what I had done to my dad, my selfishness to be with you is causing him so much pain." I sensed she could see the hurt building in my eyes; was she finally realizing she regretted choosing this existence?
She spoke again before I could, "At the same time, as you know, it was never an option for me not to be with you. It would have hurt Charlie more to see me the shell of a human I was when you were gone, than to make him believe I was away at college and moving on with my life. I can't live without you, and you without me." She smiled at me, knowing it to be true. We were an absolute mess without each other.
"Yes, but I would have let you live your human life if that is what you wanted." I said in a breathy whispered, not able to look at her, knowing I was being self-indulgent voicing my perpetual insecurities.
"I know that, but it's not what I wanted then or want now. Edward, we can't keep having this conversation. As I told you that night, I have no regrets, and I hope that you still don't either." The reality of it was that it wouldn't matter if we had regrets, our decisions could not be undone, not that we even wanted them to - I didn't have regrets. I was more complete than I had ever been. At that moment I made an internal vow to never bring it up again, it only brought both of us unnecessary angst.
"Of course I don't have regrets, I am sorry for bringing it up again." Giving her a sheepish, apologetic smile. "I love you Bella."
She tilted her head up to mine and planted her sweet lips on my mouth. All my insecurities instantly washed away with her touch. I leaned into her kissing her deeply and passionately, my hands running through her soft hair. Reveling in her sweet, floral scent, thankful for this woman and her unfaltering love for me.
We headed downstairs to the living room. Alice and Jasper were once again on the couch now joined by Emmett and Rosalie. The girls had somehow convinced their men to watch a romantic movie. Little did they know all it was doing was causing Jasper and Emmett to plot what they would do with their wives once their suffering was over. I closed my mind having no desire to hear their creative, lustful thoughts.
Carlisle and Esme were still up in their room when I heard his cell phone ring. I wasn't tuned into Carlisle, but I picked up Jacob's name in the conversation and listened closer, but by that time, the exchange was coming to an end. The only thing I gathered was that it was Sam Uley calling, that in alone was extremely curious. As far as I knew, our two families had no interaction since the conclusion of the fight to end Victoria.
"I'll be right back, I need to speak with Carlisle for a moment." I whispered in her ear, leaving her seated on the floor to watch the movie with the others, hoping it would give her the same thoughts as Jasper and Emmett. I headed up the stairs to the third floor and knocked on their bedroom door. As I entered, Carlisle mind was racing.
Edward, that was Sam, Jacob has been in a car accident and Sam thinks his injuries might be sever. He has asked that I come to the reservation to look at him, since they cannot take him to the hospital with his unusual conditions.
I nodded in understanding, "What happened?"
He was on his way home from the funeral and hit some black ice causing him to go off the road and wrapped his car around a tree. When they got to him, it took four of the pack's boys to dislodge him from the vehicle. Sam is frantic with concern; afraid there are internal injuries that even Jacob's inherited powers cannot heal. After all, he is still human unlike us.
"Should I tell Bella? You know she will want to see him, and I'm not letting her anywhere near them in case they do decide to act on the treaty."
No, I agree. Let me go assess the situation. With that he gave his wife a quick kiss and rushed out of the room.
Esme turned to me with concern in her eyes, "Edward, do you really believe that those men, who protected Bella the whole time you were gone, would harm her?"
"I honestly don't know, but I do know that even with Sam's years of practice, he still could lose control. If any of them were upset enough…" I ran my fingers through my hair and continued, "I know that Bella is a lot less fragile now, but if they wanted to they could still harm her. That is their werewolf form's soul purpose, to kill vampires."
Esme nodded in agreement, but I could tell she didn't really believe they would start a war over Bella's transformation, knowing the circumstances. I hoped she was right, but I didn't plan on ever taking the chance to find out.
When I returned to the living room, everyone's eyes turned to mine. "Where was Carlisle off to in such a hurry?" Emmett asked.
"I'm not sure, he got a call, assuming a hospital emergency." I tried to keep the concern out of my voice but must not have been entirely successful as Alice gave me a knowing look. I took my place next to Bella on the floor and tried to concentrate on the dreadful movie.
A half hour passed and there was not a word from Carlisle. I was beginning to relax with the thought that Jacob's injuries weren't as sever as Sam initially thought.
Esme walked into the living room where we were all comfortably sprawled, I could see her contentment with having all of her "children" home. She called to me in her thoughts and asked me to meet her in the kitchen.
In barely a whisper she said, "Edward, Carlisle just called and it's not good. There is not much he can do for him without taking him to the hospital and performing surgery. He has damage to multiple organs and internal bleeding. Carlisle has him comfortable with pain medicine, but is unable to do anything further at the house. I know you are concerned about her safety, but don't you think Bella would want to say good-bye if it comes to that?"
I was so wrapped up in what Esme was saying that I hadn't noticed Bella at the entrance to the kitchen. Just as she finished speaking, Esme looked over my shoulder at Bella. I whipped around, my eyes wide. I hadn't even had a chance to figure out how to best handle the situation.
"Edward, what's going on? Who's hurt and why don't you want me to know about it?" Her voice was rising with panic.
I walked over and put my hands on Bella's beautiful face, her eyes were anguished with the unknown. I was going to have to tell her, but I couldn't let her go there. We had fought too hard to keep her transition a secret. "Bella, it's Jacob, he's been in a car accident. Carlisle is with him now at Sam's house." I refrained from telling her the extent of his injuries.
"What aren't you telling me? Why were you talking about saying good-bye? How bad is it Edward?" she was bordering on hysterical, she reached up and put her hands on my forearms, trying to pull them away from her face. I pulled her to my chest, her grasp still struggling against me.
"It's not good love. He needs surgery, but with his increased body temperature and ability to heal quickly, Carlisle cannot take him to the hospital, someone would get suspicious."
"I am going to see him then!" She said firmly, pushing against my chest with all her newborn strength, sending me back a few steps.
"No Bella, you can't do that, especially with all of his brothers there. This is definitely not the time to test their tolerance for your change." I said with love, but finality in my voice, extending my arms back out to her.
"Edward Cullen! What if I can help him? I don't care if every family member has to come with me, I am going to La Push!" There was fire in her eyes, and her hands were in fists at her sides. I knew Bella well enough that if she wanted to do something, whether I approved or not, she was going to find a way to do it. She was the most stubborn being I had ever encountered.
I hung my head, pinching the bridge of my nose as if a migraine was coming on. I couldn't even ask Alice if everything would go peacefully, once we crossed the reservation line, her vision was cloudy at best, and void if we were with members of the pack.
I didn't honestly believe that we required the whole family. Carlisle and I would suffice, not wanting to agitate them by appearing overly protective. I gave in. I could not deal with the alternative. "I will call Carlisle and let him know we are coming. He can also let the Quileute boys know the situation so they have time to work through it before we get there. But, there is one condition" I said raising an index finger, "If any of them appear at all combative, we are leaving immediately, no questions asked. The last thing any of us want is a battle while everyone is already on their last nerve."
She nodded, "Okay, that seems fair. " She said, unballing her fists, the tension not leaving her face. "Thank you."
"You are welcome, plus I know am better off just giving in than letting you scheme on your own." I looked down at her with a knowing smile, she finally allowed me to pull her back into my embrace. She reached up to kiss my lips. I could feel the sadness in her touch.
I turned to Esme, "I think it would be best if you did not tell the rest of the family where we are going. I know that Emmett will want to come to back us up, and I don't believe his presence will help the situation if the goal is to keep the peace. We will let you know if that changes." She nodded in understanding, "Be careful, and I will call Carlisle while you are on your way."
With that we were in the garage getting in the Volvo. During the drive to the reservation Bella was bouncing off of her seat. I wasn't able to conclude if it was her nerves from the anticipation of seeing her old friends, what their reaction would be, or her concern for Jacob or both. Times like these I very much wished I had access to her thoughts.
As we pulled up to Sam and Emily's house, Carlisle met us on the porch. He looked aged for his normally young appearance and he had blood on this clothes. Bella saw it and immediately became frantic.
"Edward, I have spoken with Sam about the situation. He agrees that now is not the time to make any rash decisions concerning the treaty. Since we have shown good faith and are not presenting a united front with our family, he has conceded to sending some of his brother's home. Especially the more volatile ones such as Paul." He paused and took in a deep breath as he turned to Bella. "Bella, I want to prepare you, Jacob's condition is not good. As you can imagine it would be difficult for me to bring him to the hospital, but he needs surgery. I have given him sufficient pain medicine and he is not coherent."
"Thank you Carlisle," she replied, trying to calm her nerves with a deep breath of her own.
Before we went in the house, I pulled Bella back, "Bella, I am going to keep a hand on you, not because I am being your jailor, but as you can see, there is blood. The first sign I see of you losing control, I will extract you from the house with all my force." She nodded with heartbreaking understanding, "It helps if you don't breath," I added before we entered. With that I heard her stop her inhale.
As we went into the house, Sam and Emily were in the kitchen, they gave us a weak smile, and Emily's eyes were red from tears. Sam's face had the same controlled, impassive expression he always wore around members of my family. Bella looked up at them, I could see the shift in their expressions. Even in the dim light, they could easily see the changes in Bella's features and the new grace of her gait. Off to the left on the couch was one of Jacob's pack members, Embry. He briefly looked up at us. He was doing a reasonably good job at controlling his anger, but was definitely upset that we had broken the treaty.
At the kitchen table was a young woman, she was dark-skinned with black hair as well. She had a delicate heart-shaped face and full lips. I would have guessed she was around seventeen. She didn't look up at us when we entered. She was staring down at the hands in her lap. I instantly picked up on the distress in her thoughts.
I just met him, how could this have happened? It felt like my life was finally beginning, my Jacob. What will I do if he doesn't pulls through, what will I do? I feel so useless just sitting here. Her thoughts were full of pain and angst. It didn't slip my attention that she said "my Jacob."
Carlisle was leading us to the back of the small house where the bedrooms were located. I held Bella tightly around the waist. Although there had been blood on Carlisle's clothes, they had cleaned up Jacob. His large frame completely covering the bed, feet hanging well off of the end. He had deep bruises on his face and one of his eyes was swollen, but had no other physical signs of his injuries. He was asleep.
Carlisle turned to us in a low tone, "He has several broken bones, and those are already healing themselves well. The concern is the internal bleeding. It has slowed, but not entirely ceased. I am not certain how or if his body is able to heal his organs. I have already prepared Sam and the rest, including Sarah that tonight will be the true test."
Bella's voice broke as she spoke, "Who's Sarah? Is that the girl sitting in the kitchen?"
Carlisle gave me a concerned look, but proceeded with answering her question, "Sarah is Jacob's girlfriend. He imprinted on her last week. She has been at his side the entire day."
"Oh…" was all Bella said in response. Even given our earlier conversation my mind began reeling with doubt. Before I let myself once again get lost in my own internal destruction, I felt Bella moving forward under my hold. I pulled her back to me, "Bella, are you in control?" I whispered. She looked up at me, sorrow in her eyes, and simply nodded her head in affirmation, then moved forward to Jacob's side.
Is she okay son, will she lose control? Carlisle directed at me. I shook my head, confident in my wife and her strength.
Both Carlisle and I sat with baited breath to see what she did next. Neither of us had acknowledged it, but were overwrought with curiosity to see if Bella's gift worked in this type of situation, on a human with such sever injuries. As she knelt at his side, I kept my hand on her shoulder for reassurance. Bella slowly hovered her hand over his arm, up to his face, tracing the curves with her index finger, but never making contact. Her other hand traced the lines of his torso. His breathing was shallow and skin pale. She bowed her head as if in prayer as she finally laid her delicate hand in the middle of his broad chest.
An immeasurable amount of moments passed, we were all holding our breath in anticipation, but nothing seemed to happen. Bella stayed still still as a stone sculpture. I was about to speak, to reassure her, she had just learned of this gift and to put it to this type of test but then I felt the same wave of electricity pass under my hand where I made contact with her shoulder. This was not the same level of shock as before, this jolted through my entire body like a fire. As if being silently hit by lightning.
Bella had not moved, but the hand resting on his chest began to move up and down with greater measure from his deeper breaths. The color seemed to instantly return, erasing the pallor of his complexion and his eyes began to flutter in awareness. Carlisle looked over at me with complete astonishment. Bella stayed at his side, while Carlisle reached his stethoscope to the location of Jacob's heart.
"It is much stronger now." He smiled at me, eyes still wide, as he moved around to continue examining him. I had learned long ago that it took a great deal to shake Carlisle from his consistently calm demeanor, and this was one of those instances.
Jacob began to move slightly, it appeared that he was attempting to bring his hand to his face. That's when I looked at his face again and saw that the bruises were already fading to a yellowish-green hue. He opened his eyes and turned his head to where Bella was, her gaze now raised, silently watching him. Once he comprehended who it was at his side, his eyes went wide with confusion and a flick of anger. His thoughts revealed he had expected to see his Sarah.
He cleared his throat to speak, Carlisle stopped him, "Jacob, please don't speak, you are still weak." But he didn't listen to him. Just in observation I could see he was getting stronger by the minute.
"He changed you." He whispered in a statement, not a question, to Bella, "I knew it was coming, so I'm not surprised, just to see you here. Didn't expect that." He tried to give a sarcastic smile. Bella gave a sweet but sad smile in return.
Judging from the floodgate that had opened on his thoughts once he was released from his comatose state, he truly wasn't upset about Bella's change, but all the same it hurt to see her as one of us. He didn't know that Bella had just saved his life. He desperately wanted to see his Sarah. Her name was repeating like a mantra though his mind. I heard footsteps coming down the hall. Bella rose from the side of the bed, to take my hand.
Jacob's Sarah came through the door and upon seeing he was awake, burst in to tears and threw herself on to his chest. He let out a low laugh and put an arm around her. "You can't get rid of me that easily," he whispered to her as she kissed his face. We turned to leave the room, feeling our continued presence inappropriate. Sam was coming down the narrow hall, filling the entire space.
"Is he awake, did I just hear Jake?" he asked, trying to keep his stoic composure, but his shock was getting the best of him.
"Yes, he just woke up." Carlisle smiled, " I believe he is going to be okay, but he needs to stay in bed to regain his strength, and no phasing for awhile," returning to his physician's tone.
"But, I don't understand, not two hours ago you weren't sure he was going to make it?"
Carlisle turned to proudly look at Bella, she had not said a word, I was certain she was still holding her breath, "Our young Bella has discovered she has the gift of healing." Sam looked at her in amazed bewilderment. "Thank you." He said with heartfelt sincerity, looking at all three of us.
We started to head to the main living area to leave and Sam said, "Carlisle, there is no need to speak of the broken treaty. We have no intention of acting on it, but the lines still hold true." Carlisle gave him a nod of understanding and we left the house.