PLEASE READ: (or head explodey)

You know, when I first started doing this fanfic, it was supposed to be a short and simple thing that was all planned and written out but now…it's gotten complicated. Not saying that the story will change, but in the writing process, more got added on.

You see, it was supposed to be a small fic about Mozenrath and Sadira falling in love and the insanity that happened along the way but I thought that would be boring and…I wanted to really dive into characters and everything else and make it more…well, believable that their love would be possible.

So, at this point, the fic is taking a new turn than it was originally planned: there will be more action, more adventure, more mystery, and most of all…more insanity! Well, here be dragons. On with the fic. – Zerosoul

All's fair in love and sorcery; chapter eight: "much ado about...not very much"

A few seconds after Agrabah's destruction at the hands of The Working of Decay spell, there was an eerie silence or the desert. A few minutes later, that silence was broken again by Sadira punching Mozenrath in the face.

"You pervert!" Sadira yelled, breaking the silence over the sand dunes, "You grabbed me!"

"I did not!" Mozenrath yelled back, spitting out sand.

"You did too!" Sadira yelled.

"Even if I did hold onto something, it was because there was a blast going on and I didn't want to be blown away!" Mozenrath yelled back, "And even if I did do that, I would have held onto someone more sturdy – not a little toothpick of a girl!"

"Who are you calling a 'toothpick', old man?"

"I am not an old man!"

"Idiot!"

"Amateur!"

"Stuck-up pretty boy!"

"Obnoxious midget girl!"

After valiantly fighting side by side for an hour, it took only about three minutes for Mozenrath and Sadira to not be on speaking terms. Sadira settled on her carpet and refused to look at Mozenrath and Mozenrath settled behind a large sand dune a few good feet away and ignored her in his own fashion. Their argument had now elevated from bickering-children to bickering-young-adults.

Mozenrath decided to take this time of not-speaking to examine the wound on his side. It was a heavy slash on his side, stretching from his chest and curving all the way down toward the inner thigh in a slant. He moved away some of the shredded clothing to see that it was still bleeding.

'Great. Just great,' Mozenrath thought, with heavy irritation, 'I used up all the magic for the day, so I can't heal myself or teleport anywhere to be healed. And I'm bleeding to death.' He couldn't help but smile, 'At least I can appreciate the irony here. Agrabah is being destroyed and not only is it by my hands, nor can I enjoy but, I'll probably die very soon after…'

Sadira was busy stewing in anger over being called a "midget". She had been called plenty of things in life – "street rat", "annoying", "pest", "obnoxious", "stupid", "dumb", "weird", and several curses but never "midget"! Of course, Sadira knew she was tiny – two whole years had passed and she still hadn't grown an inch. She figured that messing around with magic and potions and other unworldly things stunted her growth.

'I know I'm small for my age! He doesn't have to rub it in!' Sadira thought, perched on her soaked and now non-flying carpet. Her legs were folded neatly beneath her, 'Who does that egotistical pretty boy think he is? I mean honestly, he's probably of noble birth – just look at him! He's–'

As she turned to look at Mozenrath, she saw blood pooling by his side. He was holding the wound, hoping it would stop bleeding.

'…bleeding to death…' Sadira realized.

She looked around to see if there was anyone else around – nobody. Nothing. Just dune after dune of mellow yellow sand and maybe a lizard here and there crawling over the grainy sea. Sadira groaned and sighed – but she knew what she had to do.

'The gods better be watching me for this good deed…' Sadira thought. She took a deep breath, bit back the stinging comments that were just begging to fly off the tip of her tongue, and walked over to the sorcerer.

Mozenrath realized there was a shadow standing over him. He looked up and saw the girl. He snorted and turned away from her, "Come to watch me die?"

"Shut up," Sadira growled. She took the sleeve of her robe and ripped it off. She began to tie it into a bandage.

Mozenrath looked at her, looked at the bandage, and then looked back her, "…what are you doing?"

"I'm saving your life, you dolt," Sadira answered. She held up the bandage, "Now take off your shirt,"

Mozenrath blinked at her; "…do you mind repeating that for me?"

Sadira made a face, "Take off your shirt so I can put this on you so that you don't lose anymore blood!"

"I don't think so," Mozenrath said.

"You idiot! I'm trying to save your life!" Sadira yelled.

"I'd rather die," Mozenrath said. Of course this wasn't a true statement - he didn't want to face the cold embrace of death (or what type of hideous hell awaited him in the afterlife), but he was happier dead than being touched.

"I'm trying to go you a favor!" Sadira said, feeling that he was one of those arrogant rich boys who didn't like having peasants even talking to them, "I'm going to save your life whether you like or not! There's no way I'm going to burn in hell because you won't let me do this! Now take off your shirt!"

That's when another fight began, but it wasn't as engaging – or as long – as the other fight was, since both Mozenrath and Sadira were exhausted from fighting the palace guards and making their quick getaway. Within a few minutes, Sadira had Mozenrath pinned, since she still had more energy left.

"What is horribly wrong with you?" Sadira demanded, "I'm trying to help you!"

Mozenrath made a face. He unbuttoned his shirt and Sadira gasped. All along the once covered skin were series of twisting scars, spiraling bruises, and warped blemishes on the skin. Sadira was close to gagging at the sight, but she fought back the bile and forced the self-made bandage onto the still bleeding skin.

"As you can see, I obviously don't enjoy people's help," Mozenrath commented. Sadira said nothing. As soon as she was done, Mozenrath whipped the shirt back onto himself, like he had taken off his own skin.

"Who..." Sadira began, gesturing towards where the wounds where.

Mozenrath looked away in reply.

Another silence passed between the two of them, but it was different. There was a different tone to it – regret, guilt, secrecy, and silent hatred emanating from Mozenrath. Sadira sighed and sat beside him. She looked towards Agrabah to see a dark cloud had engulfed the city.

"Is that cloud from the spell?" Sadira asked. It was a pitiful probe at provoking him into conversation.

"Obviously," Mozenrath said, "The spirit of the Viper must surround all of its prey for it to work. Everything within that city should be dead within a few days or so,"

Sadira twiddled her thumbs, "…um…" She looked around, "I think we're pretty lost,"

"We're on the outskirts of Agrabah, in the Second Desert,"

"I know, but…" Sadira pointed to the carpet. "I don't have enough magick to make it fly,"

Mozenrath's eyebrow twitched. His self-doubt and slow cooking anger came to a boil, as he yelled at Sadira, "…you mean…you…marooned me in this gods-forsaken desert?"

Sadira made a face, "Hey! I'm stuck here too!"

"Lost? Lost in sandy place?" Xerxes chirped.

"Shut up, Xerxes," Mozenrath growled.

"Don't take out your anger on the ugly thing just because you're mad," Sadira snorted.

"I'm mad because I'm stuck in the desert with no food, no water, no shelter with an amateur sorceress!"

Sadira had had enough with the insults and her temper burned as well, "This 'amateur' saved your stupid life!"

"Just so that I can die in the desert!"

A day of fighting and bickering hadn't tired out their mouths, so Sadira and Mozenrath argued well until sunset was closing in, until Sadira called it to a call.

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! I'm trying to think!" Sadira yelled as loud as she could, dominating Mozenrath's voice. She took a deep breath and looked at Mozenrath, "Okay – you and I are both stuck here in the desert together. You are out of magick. I barely have any magick. We have no food, no water, no shelter, and no way out of here for today. We won't recharge until the sun's up again…which is tomorrow morning and I don't see any villages or cities nearby,"

"Agrabah is the only place here," Mozenrath said, "The next place is a village and that's a two day travel,"

"How far away is your palace?" Sadira asked.

Mozenrath looked at her; "Do you have any idea who I am?" Sadira blinked. "You have no idea?" Sadira blinked again. Mozenrath sighed, "I'm Lord Mozenrath – ruler of the Realm of Black Sands!"

"Oh." Sadira said. She blinked again, "…that's kind of far,"

"Far? Far? It's on the other side of the world!" Mozenrath yelled.

"Shut up! I'm still thinking!" Sadira yelled again.

"Think, think, thinky, think," Xerxes said.

"What is this ugly thing that's always around you?" Sadira asked Mozenrath, pointing to Xerxes.

Mozenrath looked at Xerxes, "Honestly, I have no idea. I was summoning one day and I got this. Of course I was still practicing then,"

"Whatever," Sadira sighed, "My place is at least three day's away by foot so we're going to have to camp out for tonight. It's almost night anyway,"

"And how do you suppose we're going to 'camp out' without a tent?" Mozenrath said.

Sadira eyed the tent.

The spot wasn't very roomy, but it would have to do for the night. Sadira managed to dig out a large whole in a sand dune and cover the entrance with the carpet, as so to block out any sad that may come whizzing inside. There was little room, so Mozenrath and Sadira were squashed up against each other – both to their disliking (Xerxes had been forced outside because ugly eel-things aren't permitted in tent areas).

"You're kicking me," Mozenrath said.

"I am not," Sadira said.

"You are," Mozenrath said.

"Am not,"

"Are too,"

"Am not,"

This argument went on for a while until Sadira cast a quick light spell to give them a little light. It had to be early in the evening, but it was dark in the tent. She looked at Mozenrath – who looked ghoulish in the small lighting.

"So what's your problem with Aladdin?" Sadira asked.

Mozenrath looked at her; "Do I have one?"

"Well, duh," Sadira snorted, "You're Mozenrath! Everybody knows about you and always bringing trouble to Agrabah. You're one of the few that actually stand out, and anyway – you're sort of important in the sorcery community,"

"That is true," Mozenrath said, with a self-pleasing smile, "I am well known for my destruction and my sorcery skills are unmatched,"

"And your ego is bigger than this desert…" Sadira murmured.

Mozenrath made a face, "What was that?"

Sadira smiled innocently, "Nothing," She changed the subject, "But you're avoiding the answer,"

"Who says I have to answer to you?" Mozenrath said.

"Who says I'm not above tossing you out of this tent right now?"

Mozenrath snorted, "I wish to conquer things and Aladdin gets in my way. It's as simple as that. I have no big plans to destroy or remake Agrabah or the like; I just want to rule the Seven Deserts. And you?"

"I tried to steal him from his girlfriend," Sadira said.

Mozenrath blinked, "…that's it?"

Sadira made a face, "What do you mean 'that's it'?"

"At least I had some sort of motive for being Aladdin's adversary but you're just being a pest,"

"This coming from the guy who wanted to just rule the Seven Deserts for no apparent reason!"

"I have a reason,"

"What?"

"Because I want to,"

"That's not a reason! It's an excuse!"

Mozenrath rolled his eyes; "You have no understanding of my true motives – not that I would share it with the likes of you,"

Sadira clenched her teeth – she was getting a headache just from arguing with this guy, "Do you know that you are about as shallow as water in the desert?"

"There's no water in a desert, genius,"

"Exactly!"

Sadira ceased the light spell and decided that this would be the best time to get some sleep. It took about a minute or so for Mozenrath to fully understand the insult.

"Hey…" Mozenrath growled.

"Shut up. I'm sleeping," answered Sadira, "And if you do anything I am not above harming you more than you already are,"

"Who would want to feel on a midget?" Mozenrath murmured.

Sadira kicked him in the stomach. Slowly, Mozenrath drifted off to sleep and found himself back in the realm of mist.

Mozenrath looked around and realized he was in for trouble.

"Hey! It's me again!" waved the Inner Teenager, who popped up out of nowhere.

"Not you again," Mozenrath growled, "What do you want?"

"I would just like to say 'nice going'!" said the Inner Teenager, "You managed to destroy Agrabah and now you're snuggled up against a cute girl!"

"I don't snuggle, and I have no…" Mozenrath answered. He gagged, "…interest…in that girl and I never will,"

"What's wrong with her?" asked the Inner Teenager.

"She's a midget,"

"She's petite,"

"And she's half my age,"

"Age is nothing but a number,"

"And she's…obnoxious!"

"So you two don't get along – what's a perfect relationship? Sure, there's bound to be a few bumps along the way but we are stuck with her in the desert for a few good days and after all that time together–" The Inner Teenager nudged Mozenrath with a big smile. "Get my drift?"

"ABSOLUTELY NOT!" Mozenrath yelled, feeling the blood rush to his face.

"Hey, easy on the yelling, friend! I'm just here for motivation," said the Inner Teenager. He looked stern, "Remember – sex or naked Mirage. What's it going to be?"

Mozenrath felt like strangling him – if the Inner Teenager wasn't a figment of his mind.

…and then he woke up, feeling just as irritated.