(insert random insanity) – Zerosoul

All's fair in love and sorcery; chapter eleven: "the meaning of pan-chira"

Mozenrath looked across the room to see Sadira waking up. She appeared to be just wrestling out of a dream. She groaned and grumbled and finally twisted and woke up.

"What's your problem?" Mozenrath asked.

Sadira grumbled. It was the standard nightmare that she got from time to time. She looked at Mozenrath, "What do you care?"

Mozenrath snorted. Sadira grumbled again and stood up to go find a place to wash up, exiting the room. 'And I'm supposed to be the sour one?' he thought.

"You were always cranky," said Mirage.

Mozenrath made a face and looked at the cat goddess, who was sitting on the end of the bed. She was cleaning her claws and preening her neat fur.

"You again?" Mozenrath grumbled, "Why are you following me?"

"I wanted to see how you were doing," said Mirage. She looked sad, "I'm not allowed to see my little kitten once in a while?"

"You never wanted to see me before," Mozenrath said.

"Why do you hate me?" Mirage asked.

"Because I can," said Mozenrath, "and because you don't know hate, or love, or appreciation, or anything because you're immortal and I'm wondering why you or Fashir won't leave me alone,"

Mirage's looks darkened for a moment, "You saw Fashir?"

"I didn't see him. He came to me," Mozenrath said, "And he was interested in the midget, just like you," He glared at Mirage. "Why are you both so interested in her?"

Mirage turned her attention towards the door, "We are being watched," She focused on the door and it swung open and she smiled at Mozenrath and disappeared.

Sadira fell on the ground. Mozenrath bristled with rage at her presence.

"You were spying on me," Mozenrath growled.

Sadira snorted and stood up. Her hair was wet and there was a towel by her side, "You're always talking to yourself,"

"I'm talking to someone," Mozenrath said.

"Who?" Sadira asked. She smiled, "Your imaginary friend?"

"More of an imaginary fiend," answered Mozenrath. He knew as well as anybody else that Fashir and Mirage would only make themselves visible if they wanted to be seen, but all they were having were private conversations.

Sadira debated if he was joking or if he was insane. Either or, she decided to humor him. She sat on her bed and dried her hair with the towel; "Does your fiend have a name?"

"Mirage," answered Mozenrath.

At hearing the name, Sadira paused, "…Mirage? Aladdin used to say there was a cat woman who used to pester him named 'Mirage'…"

"I suppose it would be the same one then," said Mozenrath. Mirage's visits weren't as bad as Fashir's but they put him in a bad mood.

Now here Sadira would have replied but the cavern jolted. Both Sadira and Mozenrath stumbled off the bed and fell onto the ground.

"Quake?" asked Xerxes.

"I don't think so…" Mozenrath said. He realized Sadira was lying on top of him. He pushed her off, "I am not your bed!"

Sadira kicked him, "Don't push me you idiot! I fell off! I didn't mean to fall onto you!" She heard the sound of thunder coming from up above and dust fell from the rocky ceiling. She looked towards the window in the upper corner. "I think there's something going on up there!" She looked at Mozenrath. "Give me a boost!"

Mozenrath stood up, "…what?"

"Oh, come on! You can't be that stupid!" Sadira said. She pointed to the window; "I need to stand on your shoulders so I can see what's happening outside!"

Mozenrath made a face, "I am not your stool either!"

"You're such a baby!" Sadira said, "All I need is you to pick me up!"

'You're not her slave boy!' protested his pride 'I'd like to know what's going on too and there's no way she can pick you up since you can't reach it either,' said the brain. . 'Hey, buddy, I've got four words for you: she's wearing a skirt,' said the endocrine system.

The brain and the endocrine system won out.

"Just this once…" Mozenrath grumbled.

"Okay, it'll just take a sec…" said Sadira.

Years of being a thief had made Sadira nimble and pretty close to being completely lightweight but Mozenrath wasn't used to carrying people and on top of that, the touching was making him nervous and sapping his strength. Sadira stood on his shoulder while he stood nearby the window.

"You better not look up my skirt!" Sadira said.

"Just shut up and look out the window," Mozenrath muttered, blushing.

Sadira peered out the window and looked. It was bright and sunny out and the craggy walls of the valley were more than visibile to her. She looked around to see what might have caused the jolt.

"I can't see anything…" Sadira murmured.

'I feel ridiculous,' Mozenrath thought. 'Look up her skirt! Its there and she'll never know!' screamed the endocrine system. He made a face, 'And I wish my nuts would stop talking to me,'

"Wait, I see something!" Sadira said, "It's…a bunch of guys…on camels or horses I think…no, it's both! Okay, it's a bunch of tattooed guys…oh, there's a girl…on horses and camels and…they've got swords…and their eyes are covered…"

Mozenrath would have answered to this but while rolling his eyes at the pathetic screams of his testicles, he accidentally looked up Sadira's skirt and his eyes were locked in his sockets observing Sadira's panties.

"They look like assassins or something to me…" Sadira said, "…maybe guards or something…oh, they look kind of mean…"

'They look like a shade of red to me…' Mozenrath thought, '...maybe vermilion or something…oh, they have sequins…'

"Oh, look, there's Mechanicles out there, trying to be social," Sadira sighed, "That poor fairy boy, I think they're going to chop him to bits now,"

'Oh, look, there's some sort of design on there – trying to be fancy,' Mozenrath thought, 'That annoying midget, I think she's trying to voyeur or something,'

"Well…he's running now," said Sadira. She looked down at Mozenrath, "What do you think? They look like palace guards or something to me,"

Mozenrath blinked, "…huh? What now?"

"Hey!" Sadira yelled, "You were looking up my skirt, you pig!"

"I was not!" Mozenrath protested. He blushed even more because he realized he had been caught in the act.

"I saw you looking up, you stupid jerk!" Sadira yelled, "Just look at your face!"

"I was not–WHOA!" Mozenrath began.

Another jolt happened and Sadira and Mozenrath tumbled onto the ground.

"Quick!" panted Mechanicles, running into the room at this unfortunately chosen moment, "We all have to evacuate the entire city! The All-Seeing Eye Cult is here to…" He paused and looked at Sadira and Mozenrath. "Am I interrupting something between you two?"

The two magicians were caught in a very interesting position involving two numbers. Mozenrath pushed Sadira off of him.

"It's not what it looks like!" Mozenrath yelled, blushing furiously.

"Speak for yourself!" Sadira said, getting off the ground, "You were the one looking up my dress!"

Mechanicles was ripping his hair out, "You two can have your lover's quarrel at another time! The All-Seeing Eye Cult is here and they're going to kill us all if we don't run out! They're going to storm the city any minute!"

"We are not lovers!" yelled Sadira.

Mozenrath had more important things to worry about; "…did you say the All-Seeing Eye?"

"Yes!" Mechanicles yelled, "They're going to kill us! We have to leave!"

Mozenrath clenched his fist. 'Fashir's followers are here – and out for blood, no doubt,' Mozenrath thought. He looked at Sadira; "We have to leave…now,"

"Why? I've never heard of this cult," Sadira said, "They're probably just impersonators or travelling actors,"

"They're no hoax," Mozenrath said, "They're killers and they're sorcerers. They'll kill everyone here if they get in. They must be causing the quakes to crack open the valley,"

Another jolt went through the entire room and a crack formed in the ceiling.

"We have to leave," Mozenrath said, looking at the gigantic crack and paling, "…now,"

"Yes...let's," Sadira said, looking at the crack as well.

Using the magic carpet to speed away from the valley was a good decision, considering how it was faster than the camels Mechanicles had offered as travel. They escaped through a secret passageway and shot out of the valley. Only after entering the cavern city did the various members of the All-Seeing Eye realize that their prey was gone.

"Hey…didn't we see two people and an eel come out of the caves before we got in here?" suggested one, "We should probably go after them,"

The other members of the All-Seeing Eye – now realizing their own stupidity – chopped this member to bits and went after Sadira and Mozenrath, who were speeding away from the valley as they spoke.

Out in the desert, the sun was beating down on both magicians.

"Do you think we can slow down anytime now?" Sadira asked. Making the carpet go so fast was draining her of all her magical energy and she was starting to feel motion sick.

Mozenrath turned around to see a large group of the All-Seeing Eye cult members following them at rapid speed. Most of them were brandishing swords, "I think you should speed up,"

Sadira groaned and the carpet sped up even more. Beads of sweat were trickling down her face, but the All-Seeing Eye cult was getting closer and closer by the minute. They were getting too close for Mozenrath's comfort.

"Sadira, go faster!" Mozenrath said, a tinge of panic in his voice. Of all the things he didn't want to go through again, he didn't want to end up with the All-Seeing Eye cult.

"Hey, I'm going as fast as I can right now!" Sadira growled, "Why don't you try driving for a change!"

Mozenrath paused in thought; "I've got a better idea,"

He stood up on the carpet.

"By The Hands Of Maelun-eaur, the Wind God, I call upon the knowledge of Tuntectic, Sand Goddess…" Mozenrath chanted, "…to raise up a storm!"

The Gauntlet began to glow. The sky darkened and the wind began to blow harshly. Thunder clapped and a bolt of lightning sizzled down from the sky and struck the sand. Instantly, a tornado in the midst of the sands began to rise up from the ground. It took all of Sadira's power to not be trapped in by the swirling vortex in back of them while the All-Seeing Eye Cult were sucked in.

Finally, a huge gale of wind knocked Sadira and Mozenrath out of the air and onto the ground, with the carpet covering them. The storm continued on – raging and destroying everything in its path.

After an hour or so, the storm faded away. Nearby, a sand dune jerked and Mozenrath and Sadira surfaced, spitting out sand and shaking it from their hair. Mozenrath looked paler than usual – having such a strong spell drain him of all his magick and energy.

All Sadira could do was look at him, "…gee, overkill much Mozenrath?"

What is the All-Seeing Eye cult? Where did Mozenrath learn such a powerful spell? Will he ever get another chance to look up Sadira's skirt again? Who knows? I don't! – Zerosoul