We arrived at our cabin by late evening. There were several feet of snow that had accumulated since we had left for Forks and I needed to clear the path to even access the front door. When we entered the living room, I felt a small sense of loss that this no longer was our home. I had believed that every part of me wanted to be back with the family, but returning here after the events of the last week, reminded me how much I enjoyed having Bella all to myself.
We had come a long way during our four months in Alaska. She had not only honed her physical control extremely well but we had also grown immensely as a couple. After our wedding, I didn't think it was possible for us to become any closer. She was already my reason for existing and I loved her with every ounce of my stilled-heart. But, I found, as we spent many quiet days and nights together, curled up by the fire, that Bella opened up to me even more. We spent hours talking about our favorite books and movies. I explained to her my thought process when I was composing music or why I bought certain cars for my collection. She attempted to convince me that there was merit in modern day movies, that they weren't all awful. She never completely sold me on that.
Along with her thoughts, Bella opened her emotions to me more as well. She was no longer as guarded, concerned that she would say the wrong thing and I would leave, as if I would ever make that mistake again. It truly felt as though we shared every aspect of ourselves with one another, physically, mentally, and emotionally.
Alice and Jasper, Carlisle and Esme, and Rose and Emmett felt the same way about their spouses. I heard it in their thoughts and saw it with their actions. They kept nothing from their better halves. They all loved our family, but that love did not even begin to compare to what they felt for their mates. After having finally experiencing it for myself, I understand why my family longed for me to find my other half, the one that would complete me, though I hadn't even realized it was missing. If Bella had never come into my life that dreadful day in Biology, I would have continued existing in a semi-numb state for the rest of eternity. I shuttered at the thought of ever having to endure that way again.
"Edward, what are we bringing with us and what are the movers packing up?" Bella asked returning me to the present moment.
"I thought we would keep this place for a while. Eventually I would like to build us a house someplace warm, but for now, it will be comforting to have a hideaway to run to when we are sick of everyone." I smiled at her knowing that all of the couples in our family experienced that everyone once in a while. Rosalie and Emmett especially, they preferred to run around Africa together. "So, just pack up clothes and whatever books you want, and of course your ice skates. There are hundred of lakes in the Adirondacks and some of the smaller ones freeze over during winter."
We spent the night and departed in the morning, immediately after we hunted in the nearby woods. We arrived back in Forks by Saturday evening. Esme had returned from her trip to New York and was ecstatic about the house she had found. It was previously vacant; therefore we would be able to take possession within two weeks. She was going to make one more trip to take care of some decorating before everyone arrived. Each time we moved, she did her best to have the next house ready when we moved in, to make it feel like a home. Every house had its own personality and style. No two have been alike. With the differences in styles, the furniture we had tended to no longer fit, so she took it upon herself to buy everything new. I knew that this move would be no exception. I was fully confident that when we arrived everything would be perfect. It is amazing what one can accomplish without the necessity for sleep and an endless supply of money.
It would be Christmas in a few days. We would celebrate it in Forks and then pack up the house and make the move across country. It was Bella and my first Christmas together. A cloud of despair threatened to move over me as I thought about where I was a year ago, very unsuccessfully tracking Victoria. While my poor sweet Bella was fighting to keep herself whole while she clawed through the depression that consumed both of us from my ill-conceived separation. I will forever be haunted by that one mistake.
"What does the family usually do for Christmas?" She asked as were in our bedroom shortly after arriving home. "I mean, I assume you don't attend Christmas Eve mass." She smirked.
"Actually, Carlisle has attended a few times, but couldn't rally the troops to join him. Esme insists on us all being together on Christmas Eve and we open presents after midnight." I replied. A look of shock was in Bella's eyes at something I had said. "What is it love, why the frightened face?"
"It's, um, well I didn't get present for everyone, just for you...and I got something for Alice. For all of her help with the wedding." She said in a panicked whisper. I walked over to her and put my arms around her, she wrapped hers around my waist, bringing her face to my chest.
"That's okay. We don't all exchange presents, just with our spouses usually. There are just too many of us. Plus, when we want something, we just go buy it." I chuckled. My family did have a way of being materialistic at times. She let out a big sigh of relief at my reassurance and I let out a light laugh at her perpetual concern for upsetting others.
Edward, we are all going to watch some awful, gory movie. Why don't you and Bella come join us? I heard Alice's request from downstairs.
"Love, would you like to take a break from packing and watch a movie with everyone?" I murmured into her hair, taking in a deep breath of her heavenly scent. She paused before she answered me, "Sure, but I want you to myself later." She said with a smirk as she looked up at me.
"I think I can accept those terms," with a boyish grin on my face, giving her a quick kiss and leading her downstairs. As we entered the family room where the home theatre was set up, Alice, Jasper, Rosalie and Emmett were already seated.
"Where's Esme and Carlisle?" Bella asked to no one in particular.
Alice was the first to answer, "Carlisle is on the night shift at the hospital and will be home around 6am and Esme is upstairs working on spending money on the new house. She is very excited about it and won't tell anyone what it is like. Oh, Edward, she said if you dare to look in her head, you better not tell anyone else what you see." She said with a stern, motherly look on her face, trying to relay Esme's threat correctly.
"Got it, no peeking." I grinned. I led Bella over to one of the open spots on the large sectional. I sat down first and then pulled her onto my lap. She wiggled her head in the nook between my chin and shoulder and let out a sigh of contentment.
We proceeded over the next two hours to watch one of the worst movies I had ever seen about vampires and witches. They got absolutely nothing right about our kind. The creatures on screen barely even resembled humans and looked more like the Orks in the Lord of the Rings trilogy. Did the masterminds of Hollywood really think believe that was what humans wanted to see, disgusting monsters that ripped people into parts as they fed on their blood? The whole time my siblings and I were hackling at the screen, yelling at the silly humans who kept cornering themselves and in turn ended up slaughtered.
Over the years Jasper, Emmett and I have joked about how satisfying it would be if we could go to California and give the bigwigs of Hollywood a real demonstration about the realities of vampires. I am certain is would be an eye opening experience. The only movie that I saw that came even close to detailing our kind in the correct light was Interview With a Vampire, though they still had us sleeping in coffins. I shook my head at the silly thought.
When the movie was through, I whispered to Bella, "So what did you think?" She did not answer me, so I pulled away from her a little so I could look at her face. What I saw surprised me. She had a mixture of shock and disgust in her eyes.
"Bella, what is it, what's the matter?" I asked with a hint of desperation in my voice. I couldn't stand to see the frightened look in on her face. She just slowly shook her head and then drew her eyes to mine.
In a barely audible whisper she said, "Is that what people really think of us? Of vampires?"
I held back a laugh at her response. I had thought something much worse would come out of her lips. But, I didn't want to lessen her dismay.
"I take it you haven't watched too many vampire movies?" I asked in my sweetest voice.
She shook her head again, "No, I don't like horror movies. Plus I never had anyone to watch them with other than my Mom. Cuddling up to her and holding her hand just isn't the same." She whispered looking up at me with big, round, innocent eyes. There were so many times I forgot that Bella has had such a short amount of time on this earth compared to the rest of us. She was so sheltered and naive and so many ways. It never occurred to me that she would find this movie upsetting, poorly made and somewhat comical, yes, but not upsetting.
"I'm sorry love. I promise we don't ever have to watch a vampire movie again. It's only romantic comedies and dramas from here on out." I chuckled. She gave me an exasperated look in return as she turned to Alice.
"Alice, could I talk with you for a minute?"
"Sure thing. Want to go upstairs?" Alice said rising off of Jasper's lap. Emmett took the cute and started to get out the Playstation controllers. Rosalie left to go work in the garage.
Jasper turned to me, "Any idea what that was about?"
I shook my head, "No, I am fighting the urge to listen in to find out since we are so close to Christmas. I am sure it is just harmless girl talk, but I never can tell with Bella. Her thoughts have a tendency to take me completely off guard." I smirked more to myself. In so many ways Bella's unpredictability is why I loved her so much. There was no one else in my life that could catch me so off guard. "Did you sense anything?" I asked Jasper.
"Well, I did get a quick wave of nervousness then excitement from Bella, but then it was gone." He responded nonchalantly. Why would Bella be nervous? I had to find out, so I opened my mind to Alice's voice. She was listening to Bella talk about Christmas.
On Christmas my mom and my tradition was to get dressed up in our nicest outfit, we would go out to dinner, someplace really fancy and then go to midnight church service, the denomination varied depending on her whim at the time. When I was little, we would wait until morning to exchange presents and when I got older we would do it after church. I loved that she let me stay up so late. Then we would sleep in on Christmas day and when we got up I would cook her a big breakfast. I could hear a bit of sadness reflected in her voice in Alice's thoughts. I craved to go to her and hold her and take that sadness away.
She continued, Obviously I know we can't do a lot of those things, and I am excited to start new traditions with Edward and my new family. She paused. Alice sat there patiently waiting for her continue, surprisingly Alice's mind was void of other thoughts. I know Alice adored hearing Bella's human stories since she herself didn't have any.
I sensed both women were slightly saddened by the topic. But then Bella's voice perked up. One tradition I would like to continue is getting dressed up. Obviously I need your help with that Alice since I haven't a clue and I'm not quite ready to go shopping. Alice's thoughts brightened as her mind raced with possible outfits. I think Bella had made her day by giving her a project to focus on, and a reason to shop.
Within second Alice came flying down the stairs at vampire speed, "Rose, where are you?" she yelled throughout the house.
Rose came running in from the garage donning her coveralls, covered in grease. As soon as Alice saw her enter the family room she took off on an explanation of their newest project.
"Rose, it's going to be light in a hour. Can you be ready to go by then? We are making a trip to Seattle. We have some shopping to do!" Alice asked with excitement dancing on her pixie-like face.
Rose saw that same excitement and sensed it did no good to question Alice, "Sure, I will go shower right now," heading up the stairs to her bathroom.
Jasper and I were sitting on the couch witnessing the whole exchange. I was attempting to keep my face impassive, as if I didn't know what was going on.
"What is going on Alice?" Jasper requested sweetly of his wife. Alice tried to calm herself before she answered. I am certain that Bella did not want me to know about her plans, otherwise she would have not pulled Alice away for a private conversation. As if anything is private in this house!
Alice came around the side of the couch and plopped herself next to Jasper. "Oh nothing, just a little last minute shopping for Christmas." As she said it she winked at him. I had learned over the years to decipher their signals to one another. Her response indicated she would tell him the rest of the story when they were alone. She was blocking her thoughts from me.
"Really, Alice. You are not as covert as you think." I grinned at her as I stood up to go join my wife upstairs. She looked back at me with mock shock as a big grin spread across her face.
The next day passed without incident. Alice and Rosalie went to Seattle and were back by mid-day. Bella and I were finishing packing up the rest of the items we had left at the house. We spent the evening hunting. As we were walking back to the house, the sun was just starting to rise. I could tell that Bella was sad and I assumed it was because she missed her parents and the holidays made the separation more obstinate. She hadn't been corresponding with them as much since we returned to Forks, especially Charlie.
"Bella, love. You seem so sad. I know you miss your parents, but is there something else?" I asked, bringing our entwined hands up to my lips to kiss hers.
She let our a huff of air before she responded, "Yes, well no. It is about the holidays. I miss my mom. This is really my first Christmas without her. I know I was apart from her last Christmas, but I honestly don't remember it." She said, averting her eyes from me. Was she in that much pain from my leaving that she had completely blocked out whole events? I already knew the answer to that before I finished the thought. She was in as much or more pain than I was. She thought I no longer loved her. I had deduced from seeing memories in friends and family's minds that there were about four months that she barely existed. It will never cease to amaze me how she so willingly forgave me for my blasphemy.
"It's just that I am struggling with whether I should call Charlie and Renee, or let this be the next step in forever separating from them." She shook her head then turned to look up at me with pleading eyes, searching for her answers.
Being that Bella's transition into this world was completely unique from the rest of ours, I decided a while ago that however she needed to deal with it, I would support her. Carlisle had pushed for her to fake her death at the time of her change, but she couldn't conceive of hurting her parents like that. Therefore, he had conceded to giving her some time to distance herself from them to hopefully lessen the blow. We all knew no time or distance would lessen the pain of losing a child, but everyone supported Bella's path.
"Bella, I don't know what to tell you. You need to do what feels right. If calling your parents on Christmas would make you happy, then you should do it. If it is only going to cause you more pain, then you know what you should do. Unfortunately love, I can't answer that question for you." I said as I pulled her to me in an embrace.
When we returned, the sun was completely up. As we entered the house I heard Alice's thoughts. There you two are. I need your wife! It sent warmth throughout my whole body whenever she was referred to that way. My wife.
"Bella, Alice is requesting you upstairs." I said while kissing her forehead.
"Okay, I'll see you later." She grinned back at me as she raced up the staircase.
Bella spent the rest of the day, which was Christmas Eve, in Alice's bathroom with her and Rosalie. My brothers and I worked on boxing up the items in the family room, disconnecting all of the cabling to the home theatre and game consoles, and boxing up the books in the living room. I can't remember the last time we had the luxury of taking our time packing. The last few occasions we departed in the dead of the night at a moments notice under the suspicion that someone in the town we lived in had caught onto our rouse.
It was nearing twilight and I missed my love terribly. It had been far to long since our lips had touched. I made my way up the stairs to Alice and Jasper's room. Edward, don't you come in here. We are almost done. You and the boys go wait downstairs, we will be down soon. Rosalie commanded to me. I shook my head knowing it would be futile to dispute either of my sisters.
I turned on my heel and headed back to the family room where Jasper and Emmett were. Carlisle had just returned from the hospital and he and Esme were in their room catching up the day's events. After a few minutes they both came down the stairs to join us.
"Where are the girls?" Carlisle asked looking at the three of us sitting there looking lost without of wives.
"They are upstairs, they have been locked in the bathroom all day." Emmett responded with a shrug of his burly shoulders.
We all heard the girls come down the stairs and into the hallway with a click of their heels. Simultaneously we turned to see the three most stunning creatures to ever walk the face of the earth. I am certain Emmett, Jasper and my jaws visibly dropped open. Rosalie was wearing something blood red and Alice had on a dress that was emerald green. I honestly couldn't pay much attention to their outfits because all I could see was Bella. She wore a cocktail dress that came to just below her knee. It was the most amazing shade of sapphire blue, my favorite color on her, even more now with her paler skin. It was made of a light material with multiple layers, but was snug on all of her glorious curves. The neckline had thin spaghetti straps that hung skillfully on her shoulders with a deeply, draped neckline that crossed in the front and dipped low back. She was the sexiest creature I had ever laid my eyes on. I had never seen her wear anything like it. Even her wedding dress had a sweet innocence to it. There was none of that in this outfit. The girls had put her hair all up exposing her long, delicate neck. I was speechless, as were my brothers upon seeing their wives.
Carlisle broke our gaping silence with a light chuckle. "I didn't realize that Christmas Eve had turned into a formal affair."
Only the sound of Bella's musical voice broke my trance, "Sorry Carlisle, it's my fault. I had told Alice how my mom and I used to get dressed up on Christmas Eve and go out to dinner. Alice decided we all should get dressed up." She smiled sweetly at her father figure.
"Well, I think you boys look rather shabby compared to your wives. Run upstairs and put something more presentable on." Esme said while shooing us up the stairs. None of us had said a word yet, following our wives with our lust-filled eyes.
I ran up to our room and returned within a minute in my black suit with a pale pink shirt underneath, no tie. As I flew down the stairs, I grabbed Bella by the arm and swiftly pulled her away from listening ears.
"You are absurdly gorgeous and dangerously sexy Mrs. Cullen." I murmured into her ear as I ran my nose along her jaw line. She involuntarily shuttered with chills in my embrace.
"Dangerously?" She replied playfully.
"Yes, dangerously. I have never come so close to being killed all over again. You are lucky I no longer need to breathe." My words thick and raspy with desire.
"Well if that's the case, I better not give you one of your gifts. I didn't realize you were so vulnerable." Seduction oozing from her voice. It took every ounce of my control to not sweep her off of her feet and carrier her away to our bed.
The others had returned downstairs in their best attire, Carlisle and Esme included. We all reconvened in the living room around the Christmas tree. Traditionally Alice acted as the Santa and handed out all of the gifts. Jasper was reluctant to relinquish his hold on her, but eventually did.
Alice opened the present the Bella had gotten her, garnet stud earrings. "Thank you Bella. These are beautiful!"
"You are very welcome. It was the least I could do after you orchestrated our entire wedding." Bella replied with a big smile at her sister and best friend.
"Here, open mine love." I said handing her a rectangular box wrapped in silver paper with a red silk bow. She took it from me with a coy grin. She gentle shook the box as she looked at me, my face holding an indecipherable smile. Bella's delicate fingers gently tore open the paper and opened the box to find a large packet of information from State University of New York at Plattsburgh.
She studied it for a moment, "I don't understand Edward?" she said incredulously.
"I enrolled you in some English courses there starting the winter semester. They are almost all conducted online except for the occasional meeting with a professor. The program is geared towards working adults, so they expect a high level of self-study." I beamed at her. I knew she was going crazy not having anything to do all day. Bella was too smart and too good of a student to not be applying herself.
A look of comprehension crept over her face. "Are you serious Edward?" Her voice still unsure.
"Yes, and I will be attending classes as well. So, any meetings you need to go to, I can go with you if you think you need the support." I beamed at her, proud of how far she had come so quickly. She jumped from her seat next to me and onto my lap.
"Thank you Edward! I love you." Her voice now excited at the idea of entering back into the world and having something to focus her time on.
"You are very welcome love. I love you too."
The others were smiling as well. Alice of course knew she would love the gift.
"You are doing great Bella. You deserve to get out a little." Esme said in her soft, motherly tone. Carlisle nodded his head in agreement. Bella smiled back at them.
"Here Edward, open mine now." She said while handing me a small gift bag. I gave her a crooked grin as I reached into the bag. I pulled out a small envelope, which held two tickets. On the front was the name of my favorite classical pianist, one of the worlds more accomplished performers, the Toronto Symphony Orchestra and the date of March 7th, Toronto, Canada.
"Bella, are these what I think they are?" in complete disbelief. I had be wanting to see him in concert for over a decade, but no one in my family would concede to going with me. And now, we were going to go see him play with a symphony orchestra in three short months.
"Yes they are. I figured Toronto wouldn't be too far from the new house and we could make a weekend trip out of it, assuming I can keep my control up. But now I have a goal." She smiled.
"How did you know I have been wanting to see him?"
"I didn't actually. But, I knew he was one of the best in the world, so I figured you must have heard of him." She replied
"Thank you love. It's perfect, just like you," as I planted a kiss on her sweet lips.
The others were still opening their presents. Emmett as usually got Rosalie jewelry, which she loved. She got him some new Xbox games and a book on bears. We all chuckled at that. Carlisle got Esme some new art supplies and books on native Adirondack art. She got him some new clothes and some books, ones he already had, but they were so worn they were falling apart. Jasper gave Alice new CD's and he planned a weekend get away to New York City to go shopping. She was nearly bouncing off of her seat. She knew it would be hard couple of days for him to be in such close proximity to so many people, and she loved him all the more for it. She got him some books as well and some fly-fishing supplies which he said he would like to try once we moved.
We sat around talking for the next few hours. Bella started to get antsy on my lap, fidgeting with the buttons on my shirt and running her fingers through my hair. I needed to either get up or take her right there in front of our family. I didn't think they would appreciate the latter.
"We are going to retire for the night. Merry Christmas everyone." I said while getting up from the couch and placing Bella on her feet.
"Goodnight, it has been a lovely first Christmas, thank you." Bella said while looking around to everyone.
"The first of many dear." Esme said, "Goodnight," as she gave me a knowing look. Your wife looks like she is going to jump out of her skin Edward.
Bella led me up the stairs into our room. The second the door was closed my hands were all over her sumptuous body. "How did you know I was in agony sitting down there with you so close to me looking the way you do?" I said as I was starting to pull the zipper down on her dress. She drew a hand to my chest and pushed me away.
"Just one minute there, Mr. Cullen. Don't you want your other present?" She asked with a devilish look in her eyes.
"Yes, but I want you more." I replied attempting to pull her back to me.
"How do you know they aren't one in the same?" She mused with one raised eyebrow. "Give me just a minute, okay," while making her way to the bathroom.
I threw myself on the leather couch, the burning of desire in the pit of my stomach consuming my thoughts. It was less than a minute and the door to the bathroom opened. Bella walked over to me, one hand on her hip. She was wearing red lace panties, black high heels and a big red bow tied across her breasts…and nothing else.
After finding my voice again, "Love, you truly are going to be the death of me," as I pulled her to me. She let out a wicked giggle as she straddled my lap. "Merry Christmas Edward."