I pulled the rental car up in front of Charlie's house by four o'clock. He wouldn't be home for another hour. Bella made no move to get out, contemplatively staring out the passenger side window at her old home. The house she had not laid eyes on in nearly three years. Sadly, from the exterior, not much had changed.
I got out of the car and went around to her side, opening the door for her. She still didn't move. I crouched down, between her and the open door so that we were eye level. Holding out a hand to her, "Bella, it's okay. He's not here and won't be for another hour." She looked up at me with apprehension, but succumbed, and allowed me to pull her towards the front door.
As we stepped inside, we were both hit with waves of scents and nostalgia, one not stronger than the other. We had been back here once since her change, right before we moved, and it seemed worlds ago. We seemed worlds different, but for the better. As we walked in, her hand gradually left mine as she moved about the house. I peered into the living room and saw the same couch that she and I had spent many nights cuddled up on during our courtship. Remembering how difficult it had been to pay any attention to whatever movie was on the television, too wrapped up in the woman in my arms, her blood and body calling to me. I guess in reality not that much has changed.
"How do you feel about Charlie's scent?" I asked as I came up to her standing in the kitchen, staring at the faded yellow cupboards. "I don't remember this place as well as I thought I would. I mean, it is certainly familiar, but when I try to recall specific events, it's like there is a dull film over everything, distorting the vision. Is that normal?"
Nodding in reassurance, "it is perfectly normal. Although our minds are like steel traps now, our human memories are still in a sieve of sorts, and time only causes them to move through faster, just as if they still belonged to a human. You will find that as time progresses, there will only be a hand full of human memories that you can recall clearly, most being replaced by those since your change." I saw her eyes get wide in concern at my explanation. "But don't worry - it takes many, many years for that to happen."
"Do you think I will always remember our wedding?" She asked softly. I had once again noticed our wedding photo perched on Charlie's mantel.
I smiled at her as I cupped her face in my hands. "I don't know love. I remember distinct events from my human life. But the only one that is truly clear to me is right before I died and was so ill. I'm not sure the reason for that. I would hope that you would always have the precious moments from your human life, and possibly since the wedding was right before your change you will, but I don't want to say for certain. No one, even Carlisle, is sure how or why we keep certain memories after we move into this life."
"Well, as sad as I would be to not remember every moment of that beautiful day." She said with a twinkle in her eye, "it would give Alice a good reason to plan another one for us," chuckling.
"Don't let her hear you say that or she will bug you for the rest of our existence." I grinned, but then let my features become more serious. "How are you feeling about visiting with Charlie tomorrow?"
She shrugged, "I'm okay now. I see what you mean about his scent being very different. It is somewhat familiar in a way, but so much more potent now. I think I'll be okay, and I know you wouldn't let me do anything I would regret." I kissed the top of her head and led her out the door.
We spent the night in Port Angeles at a bed and breakfast. Forks was such a small town, I didn't want to chance staying there and have someone report back to Charlie that we were in town sooner than we said.
I had arranged a late check out, since we wouldn't be able to see Charlie until he was home from work. We spent the time until then talking about our future, where we wanted to travel, what we would take in school once we started over, and making slow, quiet love, by the light of the fireplace in the room. It was time alone that Bella and I rarely seemed to have these days, to truly indulge our attention on one another. The further I thought about our trip coming up, the more excited I got. I only had a few more details to finalize, one being new passports.
We lay in bed at noon, bare legs wrapped up in the crisp, white hotel sheets. I was lying on my back. She was on her stomach with her arm across my chest and leg over my thigh. I had a strand of her hair twisted loosely, rhythmically, around my index finger. The relaxed state that we were both in made me believe as though we would almost be granted the peacefulness of sleep, almost.
"What are you thinking about Edward? I can nearly hear the gears turning in your head." She whispered as she raised her head slightly.
I turned my head to the side to look at her, my beautiful Bella. "I was thinking about how rarely we are able to do this. It seems like our time together, truly alone, is insufficient lately."
"Agreed, but we're here now." She responded as she rolled over, sat up, exposing her bare chest as she stretched her arms over her head. She gave me a wicked little smile that brought me out of my gaping. I hoped I would never tire of the sight of her beautiful body. I don't see how I could. "I was also thinking about how excited I am for our trip. I just have to get our travel documents in order. Since Isabella and Edward Cullen will be deceased, our passports will no longer be valid."
"So, we are traveling internationally?" She asked with a sly smile as she propped herself up on her arms, leaning her head on her shoulder, her hair cascading down her bare back.
"Yes. And that's all the information you are getting," as I wove an arm over her waist and pulled her to my side. "Have you thought about what you want our new last name to be?" as I kissed her neck.
"Yes. Masen," she responded with certainty.
I popped my head up and looked at her. "Are you sure?" Surprised by her response.
"Yes, why don't you think it's a good idea?" She asked in all seriousness.
"No…I think it would be wonderful to reinstate my family name. I guess I hadn't thought about it. It has been so long since I had thought of myself as a Masen."
"Well you are, even if you are a Cullen now, kind of like your married name." She smiled. "I think it would mean a lot to your parents if we used it. I'm sure they know how happy we are. Besides, it makes more sense than just picking some random name that doesn't mean anything." She said as she twisted in my arms to kiss my bare chest.
I was quiet for a long time, pondering the idea, turning it around in my thoughts. She was right, as usual. It would be good to have a name that meant something and Masen certainly did. A small part of me felt as though I was betraying my family, being what we are now, would it be disrespectful to use their name? But I was even more certain that Bella was right - that my parents were looking down on us and were happy that their son had finally found his other half, even if it took over a hundred years.
I glanced over at the clock on the nightstand; it was three in the afternoon. "Love, we need to get up and get ready to go see Charlie. He said he would be home by five."
We reluctantly rolled off of the bed, showered and got ready. Bella put brown contacts in and some makeup to make her complexion less piqued. She checked out while I pulled the rental car around. We pulled up in front of Charlie's house at five; his police cruiser was in the driveway.
"You ready?" I asked while turning to her. She took in a deep, ragged, unnecessary breath, "as I'll ever be."
I let her walk up to the porch first and knock. I heard Charlie scurrying around inside. I wasn't sure what we were going to have to stomach and regurgitate tonight, but I knew it wouldn't be pleasant.
The door flung open, "Kids! Come on it." Charlie beamed as he waved us inside. He awkwardly waved his arms in front of Bella, deciding whether to hug her or not, she helped him by leaning in and embracing him. "Hi Dad," she smiled as her chin rested on his shoulder.
When he released her, he held out a hand to me, which I shook. "Edward, good to see you," he said nodding. I hadn't expected him to completely disregard his aversion for me, but it certainly seemed as though he had warmed up over the years. His thoughts were racing with his happiness to see his daughter, and even me, again.
"Let me look at you." He said appraising her. "You sure have grown up, married and almost a college graduate. I hope you know how proud I am of you."
"Thanks Dad." She smiled as we walked into the kitchen.
"I hope you guys don't mind, but I made spaghetti. It's about all I can make and not ruin." Spaghetti, that isn't the worst thing to have to cough up, kind of heavy though. Bella shot me a quick glance. Thankfully she had had little experience with eating human food since her change, like I said, unpleasant.
We all sat down and Charlie started probing us about school and New York. I sat back quietly, listening to his thoughts. He couldn't believe how grown up his daughter seemed, not just in her looks, but the way she carried herself. I listened closer to determine if there was any indication I should be concerned, that he suspected something. But after two hours of conversation, the most of Charlie's life I would suspect, his thoughts were still only of love for her and how he missed her dearly.
"Tell me Edward, how many times has she been in the emergency room? I'm sure they all know her by name now." He laughed. Bella scowled and huffed at her father.
"Actually Charlie, she hasn't been at all. I think she has finally outgrown her clumsiness. That and I keep a very close eye on her." I smiled as I squeezed her hand.
"Well, I never thought I'd see that day, but I'm glad for it." He chuckled.
My mind wandered again to acknowledge how I feared that her supposed death would be harder on him than Renee. At least Renee had Phil, Charlie seemed to still be in love with his ex-wife, and to my knowledge hadn't dated anyone since.
"Are you going to stop and see Jacob, Sarah and Mary while you're here?" Charlie asked, pulling me out of my thoughts. I turned to Bella to see her reaction. She knew it was unwise to see them, but I wouldn't forbid her if she wanted to.
"We really don't have time Dad. Since our flight was delayed, we have to drive to Seattle tonight to fly out to Jacksonville to see Mom." Bella said calmly. I released a small sigh of relief at her response.
"He would have liked to see you Bells. He sure has grown up too. But, he'll understand. Everyone is so busy these days and I'm still doing the same old thing. Did I tell you that I started fishing with Mike Newton's father? I sure do miss going with Billy." Charlie said sadly shaking his head.
I glanced at my watch. It was eight o'clock already. Bella noticed and took the hint. She wasn't lying when she said we had to drive to Seattle tonight, we were catching the red-eye.
"Dad, I really hate to leave so soon, but we have to get going. Thanks for dinner. I have to admit it was actually edible." She smiled, masking her true thoughts about the food.
"That's okay. There is a game on that I was going to watch anyway." He said while pushing away from the table, looking deflated. His thoughts were pained that we were leaving so soon. "It was great to see you kid. Tell your mother and Phil I said hello." He said pulling her in for a quick hug.
"Edward, you keep taking such good care of my girl. You two seem really happy. A father couldn't ask for more." He voiced a little misty eyed as he shook my hand.
"Thank you sir. I intend to for the rest of my life." I said solemnly as I put my arm around my wife. She smiled up at me, raw emotion in her eyes, if she could have, there would have been tears flowing down her cheeks. This was not just any good bye. This was the last time Bella would see her father and it was hitting her like driving into a brick wall. Her little hand was tightly clenching my shirt at my waist.
She stepped away from me and hugged her father again, "I love you Dad. And I'm sorry for all of the crap I put you through while I lived here. But I really did love living with you." She smiled sadly at him.
"Ah Bells, that's all in the past." He said waving his hand at her. "Don't let it be so long until you visit again." He said opening the door for us.
"We won't sir." I said, because Bella couldn't at that point, she was facing away from him, trying to hide her emotion.
"Take care. Love you kid," with his hand on the door as I led Bella to the car.
"Just a few more feet," I whispered, her hand tightly held in mine. I opened her car door for her, walked around to the driver's side and got in. I pulled away as quickly as I could without squealing the tires. Bella gave her father a little wave. As soon as we were out of sight, her hands were covering her face and her body was shaking with dry sobs.
I placed my hand on her shoulder and rubbed her back. I drove for a few minutes, until we were on the outskirts of Forks, and then pulled the car over. I reached over and lifted her small frame onto my lap, holding her close to me, hoping to force the pain away. She was still shaking, but slowly began to relax into my embrace, resting her head on my shoulder.
"I'm sorry Edward." She whispered against my neck.
"Shh…there is nothing to be sorry for love." I said while stroking her cheek with my thumb, my hand on her neck.
"I knew it would be hard. He was just so happy to see us - he was actually talkative." She chuckled. "What was he thinking?"
I began stroking her hair, "he was thinking about how grown up you seemed, not just in looks, but the way you spoke and carried yourself."
"He didn't suspect anything, did he?" Her voice jumped an octave in apprehension.
"No, he didn't. Overall his thoughts were very happy. He was sad we had to leave so soon. He really misses you and your company." I laughed lightly, "your cooking."
"Oh right, I need to get rid of this stuff in my stomach. It feels like a lead ball." She said putting her hand on her stomach. It made me think of one of the first times she and I had lunch together, after she found out what I was, and she dared me to eat the pizza, which I did, but then had to quickly run to the restroom before Biology to rid myself of it.
"What are you smiling about?" She asked lightly, putting her hand on my cheek.
"When you dared me to eat pizza in the cafeteria." I replied lightly.
"I can't believe you did that."
"It must have been love." I said softly, kissing her on the cheek. "Are you okay?"
"Yes, thank you." She crawled back into her seat. I started the car and drove to Seattle.
The drive was quiet with little traffic. We arrived at the airport in plenty of time. I had changed our reservations so that we were on a different airline, not wanting to chance ever seeing that flight attendant again.
We returned the rental car, went through security and made our way to the gate with some time to spare. We used the restrooms to void ourselves of our spaghetti dinner. Bella was outwardly nervous about flying again.
"It will be okay love. I promise," taking her hand in mine.
"I know. It was just so awful. I don't think I could endure that again." She replied with a furrowed brow.
"I hope you don't ever have to. But now you know you are strong enough." I encouraged gently.
"Only because you were there," shaking her head slightly.
"That may be true, but I don't ever plan to not be there, and now you know what it is like, in case there is a next time."
"Next time I would be better off throwing myself out of the plane." She laughed darkly.
We boarded the plane and just as I had suspected, the flight went smoothly and was only half full. We watched a few movies while the other passengers slept the night away. The flight attendants' thoughts revealed that they couldn't understand why we weren't joining them. If only.
We arrived in Jacksonville by early morning. We couldn't go see Renee and Phil until after sundown, Florida was ridiculously sunny, therefore I checked us into the hotel at the airport. We once again wiled away the hours in each other's arms. It was my only little piece of heaven.
I picked up my phone to call Alice, to have her check that the rest of the evening would go smoothly.
"Hi Edward!' She chirped.
"Hi Alice. How's everything going at home?"
"Fine. Jasper and I have been working on a paper for the English course we are taking. Everyone else went hunting today. How's did it go with Charlie?" concern evident in her voice.
"As if you didn't know," I laughed but continued. "It actually went really well. He was so happy to see her he hardly noticed that we didn't eat or drink much. He did think she looked more mature, but he certainly didn't suspect anything." I said.
"Now you are in a hotel in Jacksonville." She stated, not asked. Alice always knew.
"Yes. What's the weather going to be like later today?" There was silence on the other end of the line. "It will cloud up around four. Everything will go fine with Renee too. Tell Bella I said hi!"
"Thanks I will. Also, we have decided to change our names to Masen after the accident so could Jasper please start on the necessary documents?"
"Sure, not a problem. Have a good rest of your trip." Alice said as she disconnected the line.
Bella sat smiling next to me having heard what Alice said. I saw her body visibly relax- her mind had been preoccupied since we left Forks.
"I'm sorry I didn't call her sooner, love, to put your mind at ease," pulling her closer to me on the bed.
"That's okay Edward, I would have been nervous no matter when you talked with Alice. But, now, I just want to get it over with so we can go home." The last words were in a near whisper, her head hung. Bella's stance betrayed that she felt guilty for not wanting to see her mom more. Renee was much more intuitive than Charlie. I reassured her that Alice saw that everything going fine.
We left the hotel in the afternoon, as it had clouded up, just like Alice said. As a precaution I rented a car with the darkest tint I could get. Bella and pulled up in front of Renee and Phil's house. Even though it wasn't the same house, though similar to the one in Phoenix, it brought back flashes of that wretched day so long ago that James tried to steal the life of my love. I reached over and picked up her hand to see the small crescent shaped scar that still adorned the side of her hand – the only scar that remained after her change – and Bella had a lot of scars as a human. Thank goodness she brought over her power of compassion and not clumsiness, I internally laughed. Bella didn't even notice me taking her hand; she was staring out the window at their house.
"Love, you okay? Remember Alice said it would be fine." I said reassuringly as I brought the back of her hand to my lips, lingering on the scar. She turned her head and gave me a sad smile.
"I know. It's just this time, unlike when we went to Charlie's, it has really hit me what this is, the last good bye, ever," she paused and took in a swift breath of air. I opened my mouth to tell her I was sorry she had to do this, my guilt resurfacing once again. "Edward," holding up her other hand, palm out, "please don't start with your guilt. You know I don't regret our decisions, even so…it doesn't making saying good bye any easier."
I kept her hand in mine and bowed my head. She was right, why did I keep letting my insecurities concerning Bella get the best of me? In all of our years together she had never once given me reason to think she wished her life were different. I certainly didn't.
We walked up to the front door. I once again let Bella lead. Renee flung it open before she could even knock. "Bella! My baby!" pulling her into a tight embrace. I watched Bella carefully for signs of distress. Her body was stiff at first from the sudden closeness of her blood. Within seconds her body relaxed into her mother's embrace and I let out the air I was holding in concern.
After a few moments she released her daughter and reached for me. "Edward, it is good to see you as well," smiling as she hugged me. It had been a long time since I had been in such close proximity to a human. Her mind was racing with partial thoughts about Bella and I. They both look so good, like adults, though he doesn't really look different. I am going to have a talk with her about visiting more. When are they going to give me some grandbabies - not that there is a hurry, they still have to finish school. Then they will have to come visit more…
A woman's thoughts were almost always more complex and layered than a man's. Renee led us into the house and motioned for us to take the seats at the kitchen table.
"Now tell me everything about your lives." She smiled at Bella, still holding her hand.
"Bella your hands are freezing." She chided. Bella gently pulled her hand out of hers, placing it on her lap.
"School is going really well. Edward and I are enjoying it very much. I especially like my literature classes that I am taking this semester." Bella continued on telling her mother about our life in New York, the majority of which was true.
"What do you guys do for fun in New York?" Her mother asked.
"Edward and I are going on a camping trip next week. We do a lot of hiking and the whole family just took a white water rafting trip." Bella smiled at the happy memory. It had been a great trip.
"Wow Bella. I never thought of you as an outdoorsy person." Her mom laughed lightly. "You were always too accident prone."
"The Cullens have always enjoyed camping, for family trips, and the area we live in there is so much to do outside." Bella said with a shrug of her shoulders.
"Are you getting enough meat to eat? Your complexion is so pale. You aren't anemic again like in high school?" Her mother's brisk change of subject threw Bella. I heard the question coming in her mind. Maybe that's where Bella got her tendency for random thoughts – she was still always surprising me with what came out of her mouth.
Bella stifled a laugh at the irony of her mother's question. "Mom I'm fine. We don't get out in the sun much. New York doesn't have the best weather." Bella tried to smile confidently as she squeezed my hand to let me know she was okay.
We talked with Renee for another few hours. She had insisted that we stay with her instead of a hotel. Around midnight, Bella attempted to look tired with a small yawn. Renee had so many thoughts running through her head that she could have kept talking all night.
"Mom, we really need to get to bed. We have had a rough couple day of traveling and when we get back we jump right back in to school." Bella said pushing herself away from the table.
"Okay, okay," Renee was waving her hands as she led Bella upstairs while I ran out to the car to retrieve our bags.
"Good night." Renee said closing the door behind us. Bella threw herself on the bed and let out a big sigh. "Did she suspect anything?" She asked in a low voice.
I shook my head, "no, she certainly had more thoughts filling her head than Charlie and she was analyzing your appearance more. I think it was wise that you put makeup on or the similarities in our complexion would have been striking. But, no she just thinks you have grown up…which you have." I said sitting down next to her. "We both have." I chuckled at the irony that at over a hundred years old I had finally grown up.
"We have certainly come a long way since our first meeting." She laughed softly as she rested her head on my shoulder. I wrapped my arm around her waist and laid us both down on the bed.
"Edward, do you think we could drive home instead of fly? I don't think I could stand any more time on an airplane." She asked sweetly. I pondered the idea. I didn't see why not since we hadn't planned on returning to classes.
"Sure, if that would make you happy."
We were dressed and ready to leave early the next morning. "Bella, don't you dare let it be so long before you come visit again. Once you graduate you won't have any excuses." Her mother scolded as she pulled her daughter in for a hug. Then her features softened. "I have to say, I was the most against you two getting married so young, for obvious reasons, mostly from my own mistakes. But I see now that you are very different from your father and me." She sniffled a little as she turned to me. "Edward, thank you for making my daughter so happy," grabbing me and hugging me.
"It's my pleasure Renee." I peaked over at Bella to see how she was holding up. Her face was stony, brow furrowed, attempting to keep her emotions under raps.
"Bye mom. I love you." Bella said as she gave her one last hug, then we closed the door behind us. Thankfully it was a slightly overcast day again, but to be cautious, we wore long sleeves and pants.
Once we were in the car and I had pulled away from the curb, "how you holding up love?"
"I'm okay. Sadly, I feel a weight lifted." She said with sorrowful eyes. I took her hand in mine as we headed north towards home.
We drove all day and made it into Virginia. "Do you want to stop for the night or keep going?" I asked.
"I'm fine with driving through the night if you are? I'm ready to be home." I nodded in agreement. We stopped once for gas after the cover of night had come.
I called Alice and let her know of our scheduled arrival, we should be there by early morning. We were now winding our way through the hills of Pennsylvania. Bella was behind the wheel. I finally conceded after she begged during the entire drive through Virginia.
The ride had been quiet, both of us lost in our thoughts, I suppose. "Edward," her soft voice cut through the silence. I turned to my wife. She wore a beautiful, intense smile as she gazed at me. "I love you." She said with conviction, her voice thick with emotion. I was taken off guard by the force of her words, so out of the blue.
I opened my mouth to respond, to return the passion of her thoughts, but the car suddenly jerked to the right. Being consumed in Bella, the love in her eyes, I didn't respond as quickly as I should have – then the car hit the stone wall lining the side of the bridge, "Bella!" I reached for the steering wheel. But it was too late, the car jumped over the wall from the force in which we hit it. We were plummeting over the side of the bridge to the river below.
The vehicle hit the water like a cement wall, throwing us around the cab. Even knocking the wind out of me. Bella was tightly gripping the steering wheel and I was frantically reaching for her. She had an odd calmness to her expression.
Before the car was even submerged I punched out the passenger side window, Bella did the same. The rapids forcefully came through the new opening as they carried the car down the river. I pulled myself through the window. Bella had already crawled through hers.
"Bella!" I screamed frantically. The fear consuming me as the frigid water carried my body, pushing me under and blocking my line of sight, while I swam against it to shore. I pulled myself up onto the land. "Bella!" I cried out again in angst. My long-stilled heart felt as though it were racing in my chest. My common sense was telling me that Bella was fine, she was an indestructible vampire now who didn't need to breath anymore than I did, but my heart told me that my wife might be drowning.
I scanned the surface of the water for any signs of her. "Bella!" I cried again in almost a roar, panic eating away at me. I dove back into the water and crossed the river, slightly having to fight the strong current, pulling myself up on the other side.
"Bella!" I saw a movement along the river's edge a hundred yards up. I ran at vampire speed, a blur, to her side. Collapsing to my knees next to her, forcefully pulling her to me and kissing her all over. "Bella! Are you okay?" I asked breathlessly.
"I'm fine Edward." She chuckled lightly. "I don't need to breath any more than you do."
"Bella, you scared the shit out of me." Normally not using such offensive language, my thoughts were too incoherent to care.
Her facial features became serious, repentant, "I'm sorry. I didn't want to deal with all of the planning involved with faking our deaths by bear attack. This seemed so much easier. There is no way if we were human we could have survived that fall. I thought we would leave some scraps of clothes too, for evidence."
"Why didn't you tell me?" I asked ardently.
"Because you would have talked me out of it, saying it was too dangerous. Sometimes you still look at me like I am a breakable human – I'm not Edward. I haven't been for a long time." She said sighing and placing her hand on my cheek.
I pushed out a large volume of air in acceptance of her words. "I can't help it love. I spent so long worrying about the next time you were going to get hurt. You know what I would do if I lost you." I leaned into her hand.
"Good thing you won't ever have to go to that extreme." She smiled. "Now let's get home so we can tell everyone we died." She laughed as she stood up and pulled me off of the wet ground. She ripped a section of her shirt and threw it on the edge of the river, I did the same.
"Did you think about how we are going to get home, with no car, and wet cell phones?"
She reached into her purse, which was strapped across her chest, and pulled out a plastic bag with her cell phone. "Ta-da" She cried.
"You really thought this through didn't you?" I asked incredulously.
"Do you think I would just drive us off of a bridge and not think it through?" She scoffed. "I told Alice to expect a call from us, but I didn't tell her why," as she began climbing up the river's embankment.
"You know Emmett is going to be very disappointed that he can't wake up a hibernating bear and piss it off enough to make someone think it killed us," pulling her up the last few feet onto the road.
"I know, and I am very sorry for that. But, I think this way was much better. Plus, no need to prolong it. I've said my good-byes," pulling her phone out of the zip lock bag and dialing her sister-in-law.