Nngh.
So, I've been dissatisfied with this fic lately - it's why I haven't been updating a lot. Definitely not my best work. And I want to write another Kaiora story. But I'll need to think on that, and I'll finish this before I start along those lines (not so mention I have two other stories I'm working at the same time, -sweatdrop-) But I am sorry for the wait. Truly, truly sorry.
One more thing, too. There is no dialogue in this chapter. It's serious, (all of it), a fair warning to you guys. I just hope that doesn't bother anyone.
Disclaimer: What? Seven chapters and you think I'm gonna switch it up and go, "Oh, yeah, totally! I own Kingdom Hearts. You're right, haha. I'd just been denying it so long I'd convinced myself it was true! Hahaha!" -dry look- Yeah...whatever. I don't own it.
Hour Seven – Three p.m.
He winced as the bus hit a rather large bump and lurched into the air. They were off the highway again, but he thought now that he much preferred the boredom of trees and racing cars to this hell-ride they were forced into.
He nearly jumped into his skin, as well, when something hit his shoulder. The demon trip was trying to give him a heart attack. And that was it. That was Riku's scheme. He wanted him dead.
He grinned at such a thought and while doing so looked to see what had hit his shoulder. And then he felt his cheeks flare when he saw the face of Kairi nestled into his sleeve, red hair fanning about her face.
He gulped and moved his arm, hesitantly letting it fall on the other side of her for support. He had no feelings for this girl, he had no feelings for this girl…
She murmured something softly, and he found himself wishing it was his name before he could stop himself. Giving himself a mental slap, he sighed and looked to his left, to the unoccupied seat, and let his head fall against the seat he was leaning against with a thump.
Tiredly, he let out a sigh which seemed to reach to his very soul. Man, was he exhausted. Physically, mentally, and emotionally.
On force of habit he moved to check his watch, but then sighed when he realized his watch was on the arm now draped over the girl's shoulders. Craning his neck and desperately hoping he didn't awake Kairi – they were in a compromising situation, and she just might kill him for touching her – he checked the time and then groaned.
One and a half hours left.
But did he want it to end, or was he disappointed that the end was coming too soon?
Never in high school had he been allowed to know her so well, after all. She was the princess – hence his little pet name for her – of the school. She was popular, sweet, had killer looks, and she was smart. It was a lethal combination, and left many of the male population disappointed once turned down. She was the girl who could not be touched, and she broke his heart. He didn't ask her to be his once, but, still, she found ways to hurt him.
So then he'd decided to strike back.
He'd learned from his stepfather, if only one thing, that words hurt. The man had left them injured, but had left behind a legacy of knowledge, and he used that cruelly. Thus, the two were pronounced enemies, even if their friendships with others connected and ran deep over the battlefield lines. Neither could be civil towards the other, and Sora was the one known for making Kairi snap.
He himself was angry as a teenager. He wore dark clothes (which still stuck around), listened to music to drown out his problems (again, still with him), and got into fights (that not so much now). Riku had to bail him out of many a tight spot, and often beat the crap out of him just to beat some sense into him. And Riku was the only one he'd listen to. At the time, his mother was slightly alcoholic – thankfully she'd wisened up along the road – and so he often didn't come home. He'd crash at Riku's more often than not.
Riku was his brother, almost.
But Kairi got to him, got under his skin, and he couldn't handle his problems with fists with her, couldn't drown out her memory because he'd had a large crush on her. She'd never noticed him before, of course, but when she'd started mocking him his temper had fired up and he'd been roused with fighting spirit.
And so, for four years, they made each other's lives hell. And she'd not forgiven him for it.
He had made her cry often, though, so he knew he deserved that from her.
But God, she'd always been beautiful to him. She had this spell cast over him that made him at times want to drop their feud and ask forgiveness on his hands and knees, it was so effective. But then she'd hit him a low blow, and he'd forget the remorseful feelings he'd been affected with, willing only to hurt her as much as she'd already hurt him.
Admittedly, though, his feelings for Kairi were the closest he'd ever felt to falling in love; and then it sometimes killed him to say such things to her. He found himself screaming to shut up inside his head, to just leave the words as they lie and walk away, walk away, walk away,but then insults would be out in the open, and it was all he could do to stop himself from covering his mouth and looking guilty. It wouldn't have mattered, but he'd had sinful pride when he was younger.
He was stupid then. He was an ass. And he, he guessed, was a jerk. But that was different now. She just wouldn't see.
Even with such bitter thoughts, with one glance down at her he couldn't be angry. His breath left him briefly and he winced at how beautiful she really was, face peaceful and angelic as she slumbered against his chest. He'd dreamed of moments like this with her sometimes, and Riku had called him a sap. But that was only when they were out of school, when he was calm enough to be himself, and when they would joke and casually insult each other. When times were good, and he was happy.
He wasn't happy often, that was for sure. And he'd hated people who could feel happy, who could smile all the time. People like Kairi.
And so he'd shot her down.
Using his left hand, he smiled fondly and leaned down slightly, brushing a thick lock of hair from her eyes. She murmured softly, lips moving but no words really coming forth, and then she nestled further into him, sparking goose-bumps on his skin and making his heart beat sporadically. He'd thought the feelings to be gone, he really had, and he'd been confident those first two hours on the bus.
But now he was sure his feelings had never died; they'd only increased. She was, in fact, very dear to him.
She was Naminé's best friend in high school. And Selphie's. And that had killed him, because he was close to both of them. Even Riku was bothered, because though Kairi amused him he didn't trust her, and he was overprotective of Naminé, a fact he failed to see. More often than not tension was sparked because of the impatient redhead, and there were sides to choose and fights to be fought. His mother, when she was a younger woman and still able to laugh and nurture him without showing pain in her eyes, had said she'd never go back to those days for all the tea in China.
He wasn't so sure she'd had the same experiences as he, but he definitely revered her for her wisdom. High school sucked, and he would never go back, even if he were paid to.
He'd been a wreck, and he'd been trouble. If he ever had kids, he would just pretend he couldn't remember a single moment from freshman year to senior year.
His fingers twirled a strand of her hair thoughtfully at the thought of kids, and he blushed and let his hand fall back to his lap, drumming the digits nervously.
He had many habits born from high school days. He drummed his fingers when he was bored or thoughtful. He bounced his knee and rubbed the back of his neck when he was nervous. And he had this habit of tilting his head when he smiled widely, and interlocking his hands behind his head when he meant to relax.
All of it annoyed Riku. Naminé thought it was adorable or something. And he believed Kairi had failed to notice. But that was okay; she didn't know him.
Chewing his gum, which had lost its flavor quite quickly, he began to bounce his knee and winced when he caught himself. Letting his left hand still, he looked back down at Kairi, feeling his cheeks heat up again. She'd never been so close to him. He just wondered if she'd be scandalized when she woke up to find him her human pillow.
She'd always been disgusted when she was caught in his presence. Especially in public areas. He'd used that against her, though, calling her vain, selfish, and the like, and her blood had boiled. One time she'd really put him to shame, screaming at him for five whole minutes as the entire cafeteria watched. And then she'd turned on her heel, tears streaming down her cheeks, and had stormed out the cafeteria doors as he stared vacantly at the ground, bangs overshadowing his eyes.
He almost faked sick the next day, he'd been so embarrassed.
Once she'd slapped him, too. He'd said something horrendously awful, he knew, but he couldn't place it. He just remembered watching her hand fly, feeling the sting on his cheek, seeing the look of anger contorted on her beautiful face, and then the tears. He'd never made her cry so hard.
He felt guilty that he couldn't remember what he'd said. He owed her that much, to ache and moan with shame over the things he'd done. He'd been a bastard. And she really was a sweet girl.
He'd started everything between them.
He lifted his hand again and touched her cheek, his heart aching in his chest. He'd loved every moment with her on their bus ride journey together, from the fights to the games to the little conversations. But what if it was gone, after all of this? What if all that had happened between them was a fluke, a stroke of luck, not meant to be. He'd already been denied her once. His feelings were stronger now.
Was it enough to just be friends? And were they even friends?
He grinned, amused as a stubborn strand of hair fell back into her eyes. Gently, he used his fingers to brush it back out of her face, letting his fingertips graze her skin. He wanted to run his fingers through her hair, to let it trail through the silken strands. He wanted to hold her. He wanted…
He sighed. He wanted his sanity back.
Still, he made an amused sound, sounding something like a muffled laugh, and looked forward, hand falling to cover the one curled in her lap. He tightened his grip around her shoulders, too, suddenly understanding why Riku needed so badly to protect Naminé all those years, and he scuffed his feet idly on the dirt-covered floor, comfortable.
People had said they fit together, that when they weren't fighting it could be argued that they'd be a cute couple. But neither had listened then, and now he was listening rather late to the logic.
With Kairi in his arms, he felt whole. And he wanted the feeling to last.
He closed his eyes once, not drowsy but at peace, rather. He knew now that he didn't want the next hour to come. He didn't want to be thrust into the moving expanse of time again, to interact with others and thus be forced away from this girl. He wanted the tranquility of this penultimate hour to be forever, because now he realized what he'd ignored all along.
And it made his heart hurt to know that all that he had been denying himself had come back and struck him a fatal dosage, and was now pulling away from him, leaving his insides empty. Love had come upon him, lured him in with its sweet taste, and was now dancing away, leaving his arms and heart bare.
He was in love, really in love, with the princess he'd fought so hard to care nothing about. Whether they were destined to meet again or not, he neither knew nor cared.
All he did know was that now, if he couldn't have Kairi, he really couldn't be happy.
And it made him grin at the irony that in just seven hours he'd fallen harder for a girl he'd once loathed than he ever could've imagined.
The classic line. "I wouldn't go back to those years for all the tea in China," or, "...if you paid me." My mom says that a lot of the time when I harp about how much school can suck. Real life: the ultimate inspiration.
That and bus rides. But, then again, it's not like I've taken a bus ride for eight hours with my worst enemy.
(Hey, can this be considered "snuggling", the-light-shines-within? xD)
Hour Eight next. May or may not be the last chapter; I'm not quite sure yet. Anyway, please review.