A/N omc, I am so sorry at how the last couple of chapters have been laid out, I swear that I will never type them on Emily's computer again. Sorry!
And somehow I managed to forget to put one of my disclaimers in the last chapter! I think it was just cause I was so excited to get it up though. Oh, and I changed one word in this song. But here it is, enjoy!
Me: I have another special guest here to tell you all something.
Alice: what the hell? You said we were going shopping!
Me: yeah, well, I lied. Get over it.
Alice: how rude! You will pay…
Me: yeah, okay. Just tell them what I told you to then I'll actually take you shopping.
Alice: -thinks for a moment- deal! She still doesn't own us, the beach, or the song!
Me: and?
Alice: and a huge thanks to Poifct's Girl, NotWhoYouThinkThisIs, JennyPenny1014, and razgirl2! You all rock!
Me: a promise is a promise. Let's go, Alice.
Alice: woo!
(Bella's POV)
"We're here," Edward whispered, staring at me. I was suddenly overly self-conscious. What if he thought I was ugly?
My door opened, and Edward held out his hand for me to take. I smiled, and took it gratefully.
I think that he could see the worry on my face, but he took it the wrong way.
"Do you want to go home?" he whispered softly.
I started to shake my head frantically. "No! Of course not, Edward! This is our night together."
He pulled me close, our lips almost touching. "Then what's wrong?"
I blinked, trying to remember what I was going to say. I drew up a blank.
"Why won't you tell me?" he whispered, his breath swirling around me. He pulled me just a bit closer.
I looked down so I could remember why I was worried. Then it came to me.
"No reason," I mumbled. He didn't buy it.
He groaned. "Bella, please. You have no idea how frustrating this is! Please tell me, I want to help."
I nodded softly, and he put his finger on my chin, and lifted my head up until I was looking in his eyes. I saw so much love, but also concern for me.
I sighed. "I was afraid that…that you wouldn't like me. That I was ugly," I said slowly.
He had a look of disbelief on his face. "Bella, you are the most gorgeous thing on this planet, how could you think that? And you should know that I love you more than anything else. My angel is perfect," he said.
At first I thought he was kidding about the angel part. Me, an angel? No way. Him an angel, yes!
I could see that he couldn't take it any more, he leaned down and kissed me softly. I slowly brought up my hands, and wrapped them around his neck. He wrapped his arms around my waist. I was getting really into the kiss, and I think I was putting him over the edge, for he pulled away. Though in his eyes was desire. For me.
He reached down and took my hand in his. "Shall we?"
He led me to a part of the beach that I realized had a blanket laid down, a small radio, and a basket which I guessed had food in it for me. As little as there was there, it was perfect. I knew I would never want to leave.
I stopped a few feet in front in front of it, not wanting to spoil it with me intruding apon it. I looked up at Edward, and he was staring at me. I smiled lightly, and brushed my fingers across his face. He closed his eyes.
Suddenly, I felt something odd. I felt like…like I was being watched? I whipped around and eyed the trees and the Volvo suspiciously. I turned back to Edward, who looked a bit staggered.
"What was that?" he asked me.
"Um, nothing. I thought I heard something."
He nodded, sitting down on the blanket. He patted the space next to him, smiling up at me. I sat down and leaned against him. I put my head on his shoulder and sighed.
I looked up at the sky, seeing the orange sun just slightly starting to go under the horizon. It was the prettiest sunset I have ever seen here in Forks.
"It's so beautiful," I murmured.
"Yes, it is," Edward said. I looked at him to find he was staring at me again. I blushed.
He sat up for a moment, only to sit back down. I was about to ask, but then I saw a disc in his hand. I raised my eyebrows. He slipped the CD in the player, and a soft, charming melody began to play. It was very relaxing. I laid down on the blanket, and Edward followed suit. I wrapped my arms around his waist and sighed contentedly. He brushed his fingers through my hair, enjoying the night as well.
All of a sudden the song that was playing on the radio stopped for a moment. Then it was replaced with a song I never thought that I would hear at a moment like this.
See here's the thing
We have to take our clothes off
We have to party all night
And we have to take our clothes off
To have a good time
Oh no
I was still frozen from shock.
Excuse me miss
I couldn't help but to notice how alone you are
I dig the attitude and how you're acting like you own the bar
Got me flashing keys and I don't even own a car
Like you ain't feeling my charm, because I know you are
I'm trying to see how your lips feel
Oh I'm sorry, my name is Edward and I'm pretty much a big deal
Oh my god, they put Edward's name in! I looked at him, and he was still in the shock that this song was actually playing.
Oh, you've never heard of me
That sounds absurd to me
The way you stole my attention was flat out burglary
What do you say let's exit stage left so me and you can
Possibly reconvene and play some naked peekaboo
Cause after all the blouse you're wearing is kinda see through
And it's obvious I'm heading wherever you're leading me too
I couldn't help it anymore-I started to laugh. Hard. I couldn't breathe.
Such an angel with a devilish angle
And quite the certified sweet talker
Holy shit. I realized that was me! I'm the devil angel! Cool!
And you're buying every line of it girl
And I don't really blame you
If I was in your shoes I'd probably do the same too
For the first time ever, Edward was speechless. He looked at me with wide eyes, petrified. That made me laugh even harder!
We have to take our clothes off
We have to party all night
And we have to take our clothes off
To have a good time
Oh no
Suddenly Edward looked furious. He was going to kill Emmett, since he was the one singing the song! EMMETT WAS SINGING THIS SONG! OH MY GOD!
Now here's another barn burner for the slow learners
Put your helmets on and take a seat on the short bus
Next stop, right around the corner from your momma live
No turning back so you better buckle up
Shit, don't be concerned with mine
I feel like a Speak and Spell way I got you learning my lines
Fine, pull the string, replay that shit
I change my name to "did he really just say that shit?"
Yep
My sides are hurting so much!
"OHMYGODEMMETTYOUAREDEAD!" Edward roared.
Yep
I'll take a mile if you let me
Six-five, two hundred plus and so sexy
My legs going numb for keeping my phone on vibrate
To hide the fact your girlfriend keeps textin' me
And I've been trying to never mind it man
But every time I get a new number, she finds it damn
And you thought you had it sewn up
Until right around amazing o'clock when I showed up
Edward looked at me as though I was insane, for I was still laughing. He was right about me being insane though. Cause hell yeah I am!
We have to take our clothes off
We have to party all night
And we have to take our clothes off
To have a good time
Oh no
As that line of music was playing, Edward's emotion changed drastically. It went right from furious to desiring. Desiring for my love. I was momentarily confuzzled, until I realized the meaning behind the change in emotion.
SHIT!
Got chicks, all hot chicks
Indie-rock chicks, and hip-hop chicks
Slim chicks, round chicks
Black, white, yellow, and brown chicks
Got chicks, all hot chicks
Indie-rock chicks, and hip-hop chicks
Slim chicks, round chicks
Black, white, yellow, and brown chicks
"Jasper!" I screamed, just before Edward crushed himself to me.
He started kissing me with a passion, so far beyond his boundries he worked so hard to maintain. Of course I enjoyed it, but it was so wrong. He was kissing me for all the wrong reasons. Even though it wasn't his fault, he didn't exactly have a choice as of right now. Then I thought of how dead Emmett, Jasper, and Alice would be. That cheered me up.
Good grief girl, you're giving me goosebumps
Standing there in your underwear and new pumps
It's like the more time we waste and less time I get to taste you
I chuckled, Alice sang that part.
Honestly I could easily replace you
It's not a scam girl
That's how I am girl
Peter Pan, I'm a sucka for smucka's jam girl
It's clear I'm only here for good clean fun
Shut up and kiss me like the antidotes under my tongue
Whoa
OMC, Jasper sang that! HAHAHA!
We have to take our clothes off
And we have to party all night
And we have to take our clothes off
To have a good time
Oh no
Oh my god, what is Edward doing? He's trying to take my dress off! Not with them watching!
We have to take our clothes off
And we have to party all night
And we have to take our clothes off
To have a good time
Oh no
Crap! He got off my dress! No! He's going for my bikini top!
Got chicks, all hot chicks
Indie-rock chicks, and hip-hop chicks
Slim chicks, round chicks
Black, white, yellow, and brown chicks
Got chicks, all hot chicks
Indie-rock chicks, and hip-hop chicks
Slim chicks, round chicks
Black, white, yellow, and brown chicks
The CD ended…
He untied the back…
I didn't want this! Well, I did, but not here when his siblings were probably watching!
"Get off of me!" I screeched before he actually took the top off.
He stopped immediately. He pulled away, looking so surprised, and immensely hurt. But what he didn't know was that I only said that to try and snap him out of his trance-like state. He thought he was hurting me.
"Did I hurt you?" he asked frantically, looking for signs that I was. But then, for the first time, he realized that he was on top of me, trying to take my top off. Wow, I thought. He didn't even know that he was undressing me.
A growl rumbled low in his chest, and I thought it was from anger. It may have been, but he was looking at my chest while he did it. So he was doing it for me!
"Edward? Are you okay?" It was so unlike him to stare.
His head snapped up, and focused on something a little farther away. I twisted to see what it was, but my human eyes were too weak to see what he was looking at. I turned back to find that he was no longer on top of me. I sat up, and found that he wasn't even around me anymore. Good thing too, cause I forget that my top was untied, so when I sat up, it fell off. I blushed furiously, and quickly refastened it. I slipped the dress back on, and stood up.
The thing that alarmed me first was the fact that I heard a scream. Not just any scream, but the scream of my obnoxious soon to be sister-in-law.
I started to run toward the noise, and found that they were nowhere to be seen. I was about to turn around to head back, but behind me looked just like in front of me. I turned again, confused. I started to run toward where I thought would lead me back, but apparently I just got deeper into the forest.
Now I started to freak out. I couldn't hear anything but the occasional bird or squirrel. It was starting to get cold, and I hugged myself in an attempt to keep warm. What was even worse was that while I was walking I tripped, and cut open my stomach, ruining the stupid little dress Alice made me wear. My stomach hurts so bad! I looked at it and concluded that it was pretty deep. And it didn't help at all that it was gushing blood, which was making me even queasier from the smell.
I started to get lightheaded. I collapsed on the ground, falling into unconsciousness. The last thing I remember thinking was I was wondering why Edward hadn't found me yet…
I rolled over to find that I was really warm. My eyes opened in shock, to see that I was in Edward's Volvo, and he was driving furiously. I looked at him, and his face softened.
"Are you feeling okay?" he asked.
"Yes, I think so. What happened to Alice?" I asked.
His eyes hardened slightly. "Well, I almost got her, but then I heard you scream, and I realized that you hadn't stayed where I left you. So Alice took that time I was looking for you to run away. I'm still pretty pissed at her, and they are going to pay." He paused. "Speaking of, Bella I am so sorry for what I was doing, I didn't even realize—"
I interrupted. "It's okay Edward, I know. Alice is an evil mastermind. But we can't blame Jasper, you know that he would do anything for Alice—"
Now he interrupted me. "Oh, he's going to pay. You'll see."
We pulled up to his house, and Edward came to my side and picked me up bridal style and carried me into the house. He ran up the stairs, and set me in his bed. He gave me my favorite sweat pants and shirt, and left me to change, and he went downstairs, to yell at the others I guessed.
I went to the bathroom and took a hot shower, and it felt so nice. I stood there for a minute just enjoying it. Then I went to quickly brush through my hair, and brush my teeth. I went back into Edward's room, and climbed under the covers. I didn't realize how much my stomach hurt until I tried to lay on it. I yelped loudly, and before I could even think, Edward was right there.
"What's wrong?!" he asked.
A tear rolled down my cheek as I sat up and lifted up my shirt. He saw the gash and his eyes darkened. Not for the need for my blood, but because he was dead furious.
He came over next to me, and kissed my hair before picking me up again and bringing me downstairs. He sat me on his lap as he sat down on the couch.
He rocked me back and forth slowly as he began to yell at Alice, Jasper, Emmett, and…Rose?!
I took one of Edward's arms and laid it on my stomach, for the coolness of it helped. I looked at him and smiled a tiny smile.
"Jasper, do you know what you put Bella through tonight? And Emmett, you replaced the damn CD? What the hell! And Alice, I think I may want to kill you the most! You knew this was going to happen, and you kept it from me! How could you—"
I could tell that Edward was about to pounce on Alice at any second, I could feel him tense up.
I rubbed his back soothingly. He seemed to calm down.
Rosalie started to chuckle. I looked at her, and apparently that made her laugh harder.
"Mwahaha!" she cackled. "It was me! I planned it! I told them what to do! And they were stupid enough listen! HAHAHA!" She fell on the floor she was laughing so hard.
I could see that every vampire in this room was very, very pissed at Rosalie. They all had the look of murder in their eyes. Edward the most, of course.
She cut off laughing suddenly, and looked very scared.
"AHHHHHHHHHH!!!!" she screamed, as Edward, Alice, Jasper, and Emmett all tried to catch her. They were all miles away within moments, and I smiled to myself. Edward would be back any moment, and how could I not look forward to that?
A/N holy crap! That was WAY longer then I expected! Woa! Lolz. I changed the end a lot. I almost forgot that this was supposed to end funny, and I had a whole dramatic ending, so I changed it from Bella not talking to Edward to Rosalie being the evil mastermind. Yeah, weird, I know. Tell me what you think! And I need ideas people! Ideas! Cause I have a few but I don't think that they will work. So we are going to play a little game here. Whoever gives me the funniest idea that will work, they will get a part in the next chapter. Now make me happy and leave a cookie!