Chapter 2: "Drat un, maybe I went to far with the letter?"

Deidara and Tenten stopped soon after Deidara's stomach started growling even though Tenten, who couldn't believe she was now a run away ninja, didn't like the fact that the Hokage Stone was still in sight.

"I'm starving, yeah!" Deidara slumped forward "just look at my babies, poor babies, un…" he showed Tenten his mouthed hands with there tongues hanging out, drooling and whimpering pathetically.

"Well you didn't bring them any food so I'm guessing it's your own damn fault there so hungry!" Tenten watched as he grew a teary eyed expression and couldn't help but giggle slightly "I brought some food I just had to prepare it… don't eat those mushrooms there deadly toxic."

Deidara having picked up a nearby blue mushroom that had seemed to him particularly delicious he pulled it away fro his other hand and dropped it when the hand he was holding it in reached an extra long tongue towards it.

"I think it would be best to wash your hands…"

So after a frantic search for water and a few tongue pinches later to stop his hands from licking the mushroom poison on his hands Deidara avoided death by mushroom and they found a lovely little creak to rest by. Happily to be alive, Deidara offered to prepare the meal.

"No…" Tenten began unpacking a small bag of rice a can of stewed meat salt and a pot.

"Why not, un?" Deidara felt a little hurt as he reached out for her. His hand licked itself "Oh…" a few things clicked into place as to why Sasori never let him cook… "Can I watch, un?"

"If you stop sounding like a pervert than yes you can…" Tenten pulled a napkin out and laid it out on the grass placing a bowl of water with it

Deidara came up behind her softly breathing on her neck. Tenten's cheeks flushed and she felt her heart beat pick up the pace as she felt a hand slide over her shoulder…

"I'll make the fire!" Deidara cheered as he lifted his hand from her shoulder in a pose!

Tenten collapsed. Deidara gathered wood and piled it. This was followed by him grabbing a thumbnail sized fleck of clay and molding it into a perfect likeness of a daisy. It expanded and he held a clay statue of a daisy turning back winking licked his lips slowly at a trying to stand Tenten. Tenten held her hand to her nose to stop the gushing blood. –Boom- a tiny mushroom cloud appeared on top of the wood causing a small fire. Deidara being satisfied by this brushed his hands and turned to Tenten.

"You were right when you said that I am a filthy ninja" Deidara approached her taking of his black over shirt.

"Uh…" Tenten stood facing him blushing profusely as her eyes wandered over his muscled body.

Deidara then proceeded to turn and take of the rest of his clothing except for a pair of baby blue boxers.

"Time for a bath, yeah!" Tenten had never been so shaken in her whole life.

Deidara proceeded to dive into the creak and wash off all the soot with a deep sigh. Then he started checking out his damaged side with a snarl. A hand started cleaning off the blood and a tongue removed the dirt. Tenten managed to finally and peacefully finish the onigiri and still having some time she even washed Deidara's clothes. When she looked up Deidara climbed out of the water holding a hand at his blood soaked side.

"I think I opened it again…" Deidara's grimaced and sweated from the pain.

Tenten put down their lunch and took some medical supplies out of her bag "Let me help Deidara…" he nodded and she leaned him against a tree.

"You smell nice, yeah." He dropped down and pulled her close in a hug.

"You do to… it's like clay… and flowers after it rained…" she pulled closer into his chest. His grunt of pain reminded her that she was supposed to be patching him up "Right sorry…"

After that she patched him up without any talking but she did notice his eye watching her work. After she was done she smiled shyly up at him. Then she noticed a bulge under his shorts.

"PERVERT!" She punched him upside the head " Taking advantage of my good nature like that!"

"I'm sorry, un… I didn't mean for it to happen your really cute though, un… especially when you blush and look down, Yeah" That was the WRONG thing to say as she summoned a Tantō and unsheithed it.

"You have spoken your last words because I'm cutting out your tongues!"

As she slashed at him he grabbed Tenten's wrist and his hand's tongue lapped against the back of her hand. He reached his other hand alog her neck and rubbed it across to her breast hand sucking on her shirt. Tenten's head fell back and she moaned.

"I haven't done anything more perverted than you have…" He leaned forward and let her knife drop. Then he pushed her back letting her drop gasping beside her knife "is that supper I see over there, un?" Deidara walked over and counted the onigiri "Mmm ten rice balls each, yeah…"

Tenten stood shakily still trying to keep her breath. She grabbed his clothes drying over the fire and through them at him causing him to drop. A vein was about to burst in her head.

"Put some damn cloths on and… and…" Tenten sniffed "You talk funny…it's annoying… and I… I…"

With her rant Deidara dressed and held out her plate for her. She took it fighting back tears.

"When I first saw you… I felt something stir inside of me… it wouldn't go away and it filled me with something I haven't had in a long time… hope… Tenten your special to me… I love…" his hand didn't wait for him to stop talking and it ate a rice ball "YOUR COOKING! THIS IS THE BEST UN!" Deidara's hands ate half of each onigiri he took and then he buried his face into the rest of it.

Tenten smiled and handed him four of her own rice balls, blushing slightly. Her thoughts were filled with the possibilities of what he was saying.

Konoha village

"Tenten you are late for training!" Gai kicked in her bedroom door sparkles following a thumbs up "Do not worry I will not let your youthfulness disappear!"

Gai's eyes opened wide as he saw the open window and his expression darkened as he saw the kunai and her dresser unorganized. A single note lay on her pillow, which read:

(Dear Konoha dickwad's

I have stolen Tenten for my evil purposes. If you follow me I will cut off her Fking head. As of now I think it polite to mention… All your bases belong to us… and I hope you all die terribly and beautifully in a giant explosion.

Yours truly

A missing-nin who you've never met

PS: Seriously though you've probably never even heard of me…)

Neji and Lee took that moment to enter the room.

"My deepest apologies sensei we failed to find any trace of Tenten anywhere!" Lee bowed to his sensei but Neji noticed the dark expression on Gai's face.

"What is wrong? Where's Tenten?" Neji took the note from Gai and gasped.

"We need to see the Kage with this immediately…" Neji nodded.

Outside of Konoha

"You only brought one sleeping bag with you?" Tenten's eyebrow twitched.

"I guess I didn't really think the whole kidnapping thing out, yeah." Deidara grinned rubbing his hair "but it is a pretty big sleeping bag…we could probably both fit…"

"Ugh… fine…" Tenten agreed to Deidara's idea

Deidara cuddled against Tenten softly as she pulled into his chest, his arms around her. Tenten secretly liked Deidara's lack of planning. Deidara secretly liked his awesome plan.

Konoha Hokage's office

Tsunade read over the threatening kidnappers letter.

"Damn…" she slammed it on her desk "I'm assigning you three the mission to find and retrieve Tenten and execute this missing-nin." A file of possible suspects lay on her desk "Neji I want you to take this file and figure out which one seems to be our kidnapper. Gai prepare what equipment you need and take Lee to scout out Konoha's surrounding area. Konoha can't afford to send any other teams out on this so your all we have at the moment. Bring Tenten back alive…"

"Understood!" Team Gai burst into motion.

"Shizune!" Tsunade called to her assistant.

"Yes Tsunade?" Tsunade sipped from a cup.

"Something's not right with this situation see if you can find a few free hunter-nin and prepare them for'retrieval'…"