Chapter 7 Major Social Problems

"So why do I owe Konoha so much money?" Deidara looked queerly at Tsunade as she swigged back a nock of sake.

"I'll break it down for you…" Tsunade leaned in and waved Deidara closer.

Deidara approached her leaning in looking at her still in the queer manor.

"Okay as I see it… half a million dollars of damages were created by you towards the land of fire…"

"I see…"

Tsunade pulled down a map of the entire continent with drawn in border all in red except for the land of fire "also as you can see you're a wanted man in every country and so we are required as a nation to bribe them to not immediately declare war on us and give you a chance to prove yourself, which comes to the vicinity of about four million dollars all together"

Deidara sweated nodding totally feeling she was making it up.

Tsunade also pulled out a fan with the money symbol on it, letting the map go back up where it came from " as well you currently have a substantial bounty, about five and a half million dollars for your return to the village hidden in the earth dead or alive, on your head which due to the fact Konoha is taking you in at the moment, we are now unable to collect said bounty…"

Deidara started counting on his fingers… "Wait a minute… there's still like 2,000,000 dollars left unexplained…"

Tsunade laughed somehow having her fan grow bigger with more money symbols on it "That would be my bribe to make sure I'll make you a citizen of Konoha …HaHaHaHa …"

"Who was the one who negotiated my bribe?" Deidara was back to the queer eyed look.

"That would be the Green Beast of Konoha who stands before you!" Gai burst out of nowhere doing several poses before staying in customary thumbs up spread leg lotus blossom pose.

Deidara jumped back clutching his heart at the suddenly appearing ninja.

"Gah! What the hell- where did you come from…" Deidara twitched.

" Where ever the wonderful beauty of youthful love blossoms I shall be there…" Gai approached Deidara and wrapped his arms around Deidara's shoulders, Deidara had a look that was not quite contempt but quite clearly demonstrated he did not want to be touched least of all by this freaky ninja " If you hurt Tenten… I will be forced to remove your 'youthfulness'" a glare from Gai reinforced Deidara's fear "Do you understand me?"

Deidara nodded shakily.

"Now back to your financial debt to Konoha…" Tsunade had set up another roll down screen with a pie chart on it, and this time had a pointer to help describe how she had planned to get him to pay I off…

Deidara quickly shuffled away from the scary Gai.

" You see this large red area?" Tsunade pointed it out; it was quite obvious cause it took up a total of 70 of the chart "This is the amount of times you'll spend on S-ranked mission, I should mention that this S represents 'Suicidal no one should have to do this mission', but this is just so you can pay your debt faster." She drew Deidara's eye to the quarter sliver of green "this represents the time you will be allotted solely to creating Kekki Genkei babies with Tenten."

"Errr…" Deidara blushed.

"And finally you see this tiny little slice of black?" Tsunade pointed, "This represents the time you will be required to spend on the paperwork for your time spent on missions…"

"Errrhm… " Deidara coughed sticking up his hand.

"Any questions?"

"Yes, when do I sleep and eat?"

"When you've paid your debt…" Tsunade went all dark as she went behind rubbing Deidara's shoulders painfully her eyes shining evilly "until then consider yourself my own personal slave…"

Tears streamed down Deidara's face as Tsunade and Gai laughed evilly behind him. But that was until He saw Tenten approach him.

"So…" Tenten looked up blushing at Deidara.

Deidara felt his heart pound as he looked down at Tenten. He smiled back at her blushing. Suddenly they came together kissing. Tenten wrapped her legs around Deidara's waist. Deidara pulled her even closer as they dropped to the ground rolling.

Tsunade chuckled "Kids… Tch… well I guess you can start your schedule with baby making…"

They continued to roll and as Deidara threatened to remove Tenten's shirt, Tenten came up for air huffing as Deidara lay over her hooking one hand on her shirt raising it.

"You can't do that here on the back of the stage!" Tsunade kicked Deidara on the back of the head.

Gasping Deidara and Tenten laughed placing their foreheads together. Gai had started to look uneasy at this point and walk away whistling. Tsunade ground her teeth.

"You two go get a room… tch." Tsunade had a vein on her forehead that threatened to pop.

That's exactly what they did and they used it twice quite happily really.

The End

Message from the author:

-This lemon took a lot out of me and I feel it'll take a lot more out of me still. I'm thinking of starting a series based on this story line… Maybe if I received a few reviews based on said idea… I might be persuaded… Also I think the entire thing needs lots of works… thank you for reading from: Selath