She wasn't home when he returned to the apartment so he grabbed a cold beer from the fridge and walked to his son's room. Lucas glanced up from the rocking chair where he'd been babysitting and reading to Tyler. Nathan leaned against the doorframe and listened.
"That is the hardest thing of all. It is much harder to judge yourself than to judge others. If you succeed in judging yourself, it's because you're truly a wise man."
Nathan smiled slightly because he knew the words in the book were true. He watched his son cuddle with his uncle. Luke's arms encircled the infant on his lap as he flipped the page of the book and rocked the chair gently.
"What are you doing here," he asked the drunkard whom he found sitting silently in front of a collection of bottles, some empty and some full.
"Drinking," replied the drunkard, with a gloomy expression.
Nathan looked down at the beer in his hands and sighed softly.
"Why are you drinking?" the littleprince asked.
"To forget," replied the drunkard.
"To forget what?" inquired the littleprince, who was already feeling sorry for him.
"To forget that I'm ashamed," confessed the drunkard, hanging his head.
"What are you ashamed of?" inquired the littleprince, who wanted to help.
"I'm not ashamed of him." Nathan spoke up suddenly. His brother and startled son looked up at the story time intruder.
"What?" asked Luke.
"Of Tyler, I mean. I'm not ashamed of him." Nathan explained.
"I know, Nate. I know you're not," said Luke gently. The toddler squirmed in his arms and Lucas passed him to his father. Tyler grabbed Nathan's neck and clung to him tightly as he whispered, "Dada." His chubby little arm stroked Nathan's cheek and Nate felt his heart break all over again as he held his adorable little boy.
Luke started to get up but Nathan broke in. "No – Luke, keep reading. Please?"
"Okay," replied Luke, flipping through the pages to one of his favorite parts.
"Goodbye," said the fox. "Here is my secret. It's quite simple: One sees clearly only with the heart. Anything essential is invisible to the eyes."
"Anything essential is invisible to the eyes," repeated the little prince, in order to remember.
"It's the time that you spent on your rose that makes your rose so important."
"It's the time that I spent on my rose," repeated the little prince, in order to remember.
"People have forgotten this truth," the fox said, "But you mustn't forget it. You become responsible for what you've tamed. You're responsible for your rose. . . ."
"I'm responsible for my rose," repeated the little prince, in order to remember.
Suddenly the front door banged shut. Nathan walked quickly out into the hall, with Tyler half-asleep still in his arms.
"Taylor." He spoke, his voice catching in his throat.
"Nate? You look as though you've seen a ghost."
"Taylor. You didn't tell me. You just left and you left him and – Why did you never tell me?!" He ended with a strangled yell, pleading with her to explain.
"Oh. You know." Said Taylor quietly, looking at his left shoulder rather than meeting his eyes.
"Yeah." He struggled to keep his voice calm, knowing that yelling wouldn't help and not wanting to upset his son.
"How –" she began, but stopped. How he'd found out didn't really matter right now. Besides, the truth had a way of coming out eventually.
"So it's true?" Nathan asked when Taylor paused unsure of how to continue.
"Yes. It's true. I just, I didn't know how to tell you. You were a little freshman, just a baby, really. So I went to Charleston for a few months to sort out my thoughts. He came early and they handed him to me in the hospital bed. I took one look at his innocent, sleeping face and I got so scared that I would screw up like I always do. And then he opened his eyes and they were the same electric blue as yours, although more watery, and I realized that I couldn't do that to him. I couldn't be the mother that he deserved. So when Haley came I gave him to her, because I knew that she would make sure he was happy. She has a maternal instinct that I will never have. I never expected that she would choose to raise him herself, but I suppose that's Haley for you. Thank you for helping her, Nate. Thank you for being there, for Haley, and for Tyler."
"Of course I was there! He's my son!" spat Nathan viciously. "Although you never saw fit to tell –"
"Nate?" asked a voice behind Nathan. Taylor and Nathan spun around to see Lucas standing there with his arms crossed over his chest. He had followed Nathan from the bedroom and heard the entire exchange. "What's going on?"
"Ask her!" announced Nathan, his voice trembling with anger.
"Luke…" began Taylor. "I've known you for a long time, since you and Haley toddled after me in diapers. You know that I tend to screw up a lot."
"And screw a lot," added Nathan cruelly.
Taylor glared. "Like you are one to talk. You –"
"Guys! Get to the point!" Cried Lucas. "I already know your history!"
"Oh." Said Taylor. "Then you know that Tyler is his." She wasn't sure he knew this part of their history, seeing as Nathan himself had only just found out, but she couldn't hold up the lies any longer. It was cruel to spring it on him like that, but she really didn't have much of a choice. Besides, she was Taylor. She was known for her bad choices.
"Of course Ty is Nathan's," agreed Lucas. "He's cared for that baby nearly his entire life. Tyler's first word was –"
"No," interrupted Nathan. "Tyler is actually mine…from the Varsity basketball party."
Lucas' mouth formed an 'o' as he understood the full extent of what his brother was trying to tell him. "Wow. How's Haley taking it?"
"Not so good," replied Nathan. "She understands it was before I knew her and maybe it's a blessing since he's our son already, but it still came as a shock to her, to all of us."
Lucas' fears about Haley's reaction were confirmed when she didn't return that night or the next. When she finally returned it was to kick Taylor out and tell Nathan that she was leaving to pursue her music career, with none other than Chris Keller.
"What about Tyler? What about me?" he asked her, pleading with her to stay and talk.
"It's not forever, Nate. I just need a break. I'm married with a child and I'm not even a senior! I can't do this anymore! I'm sure Lucas will help out when you need him."
"Lucas? He needs his mother, Haley! He needs you!" But Nathan received no answer but a slammed door. He sank down with his back pressed against it. What mother could abandon her child, he thought. Suddenly there was a banging at the door. His heart soared in his chest as he leapt up to open it, only to sink even further when he saw Taylor standing on the steps.
"Oh. Hi, Tay. I thought you left."
"I did. I am. I just came to say goodbye to Tyler." She handed him a folded envelope. "Take good care of him, okay?"
"What kind of mother abandons her child?" he demanded, and Taylor looked up at him coldly. "Haley left," he added. "Haley's gone."
"Oh Nate. Sometimes – sometimes it just gets to be too much, you know? She'll come around, though. Knowing Haley she'll be back here tomorrow."
But although Nathan waited, Haley didn't return the next day, or the next week, or the one after. Two weeks after Haley left, Nathan recalled the envelope that Taylor had handed him before she left for good. He found it on the coffee table, hidden under old newspapers and an empty pizza box. Inside were two sheets of paper. He sat on the couch to read them. The first was a note to Ty from Taylor.
My son,
You might know me as your Aunt Taylor. Maybe you don't know me at all. The last time I saw you you were sixteen months old. You got into everything and if your parents weren't careful, you would try to climb onto the kitchen chairs. Of course you couldn't and you often ended up falling over and bursting into tears. Although your mother, Haley, tried to get you to like classical music, you would only dance when your father turned on rap music. It used to be such a game between the three of you. Your mother and father love you very much, Ty. I'm sorry that I've never gotten to know you, but know that you have a better life than I could have ever dreamed of. Maybe one day when you're older I'll come back to see you again. Until then, be good and listen to your mommy and daddy. I love you very much, Tyler.
Love,
Taylor James
Nathan smiled and folded the paper back up, carefully. He'd put the letter in a safe place so that he could give it to Tyler when he was older. He gently unfolded the second piece of paper and smoothed it flat. It was a copy of Tyler's birth certificate. He remembered a conversation he'd had with Haley shortly after he found out about Ty.
"Don't you have his birth certificate?" Nathan asked Haley.
"No. Taylor took it when she left the hospital. She told me his name was Tyler."
"Does he have a middle name?"
"I don't know," answered Haley. "I don't think so."
"Don't you need a birth certificate for him?"
"He's only two months old, Nathan. I should be able to get a copy later on, but I haven't needed it yet."
He read, "It is hereby certified and solemnly tested that TYLER NATHAN SCOTT was born at CHARLESTON MEMORIAL HOSPITAL at 2:26 PM, this 2ND day of OCTOBER, 2003." When Nathan looked up from the letter to his son playing happily nearby he had tears in his eyes. "Tyler Nathan Scott." He whispered his son's name. Tyler glanced up before his attention was regained by his colorful building blocks.
