INCONCIEVABLE
Number V
Friends That Understand
A baby...a baby. You're going to have a baby.
The look on Yami's face, had Dr. Carroll chosen to acknowledge it, pretty much summed up his inner feelings. Horror, apprehension, horror, disgust, confusion. And, of course, more horror. His face was drained of all color, and his mouth was open as he watched the screen, watched the form of the embryo that stuck out like a sore thumb twitch in his body.
No...no... Fear flickered in his eyes. This can't be...Ican't be...this has to be...wrong
He thought it had been because of his separation from Yugi and the Puzzle. All of the problems he'd had, the vomiting, the weight gain, and...his chest. It made sense. But it turned out it wasn't that.
No, as per Yami's luck since losing the Puzzle, it turned out to be much,much worse than that.
"Hmmm, fetal heartbeat is detected, shape of the embryo and heart development indicates..." the insane doctor tapped his mouth. "You are at about seven weeks, give or take a week in your pregnancy. The placenta is attached to the small intestine for...haha...minimal organ intrusion. Now then, what do you think? Do I sound crazy anymore to you?"
"I...but..." The pharoah was speechless. "...How!?"
"The million-dollar question - rather the twenty billion dollar question," the American mused. "But the answer to everything is...science!"
"...what...?"
"What you are witnessing, kiddo," At this, Carroll pointed to the embryo on the screen, "is the culmination of nearly thirty years' worth of secret medical research done by Harvard Medical School, John Hopkins and various government laboratories, taken to both it's most wonderful - and in your case, most disturbing - conclusion. May I introduce you to...Agent W."
There was a long silence at this. Yami looked no less horrified, and made no effort to respond. Indeed, he started looking a little bit green.
"...Oh,fine, make me explain. Be that way," the doctor rolled his eyes. "It is basically the new evolution of in-vitro fertilization. You know - test-tube babies. We developed very special zygotes - you know, eggs just after they got fertilized - for women who rejected normal IVF embryos and people who are unable to conceive with the best-known mainstream medical help. What we did was, we managed to grease the little suckers with a genetically-enhanced viral coated broth - special stuff containing proteins with names far too long to pronounce - and created the most indestructible future babies in the world."
Silence. Of course, Carroll figured as he watched the teen's expression; he hadn't gotten to the good stuff yet. So he continued pontificating.
"Isn't it great? They don't get miscarried no matter where it's implanted, no matter what organ, and when they stick to that uterine wall, man, they stick. And we wired the little cells to be smart like a virus, too - there's no dislodging placenta until birth." Carroll rubbed his hands together, clearly pleased. "Base chance of fertilization is one hundred percent regardless of reproductive conditions based on clinical tests. It's a great way for the sterile people to finally get their own children - and to shut them up about it."
Still silence. At this, Carroll frowned; it was clear that the spiky-haired youth was not impressed at all. It didn't seem to occur to him that Yami was not interested breakthrough embryology - or perhaps he was deliberately ignoring the fact that the kid was simply too shocked at being pregnant to care.
"...Ok, yeah, yeah, get to the point, I know. Everyone does that when I explain to them." Carroll tossed a towel at Yami's head. "Here, wipe the gel off. Of course you're wonder why we're here. Very simple. The...ahem...problem with this perfect scenario is that one of my esteemed colleagues let the test results go to her head a little. If we can do it to females, what else can we do it to. Why not let everyone have a chance to experience childbirth. Why not replace the human race as we know it with a gender-equal society, bla bla bla, let's make the males pregnant if this works. But we kept saying, just because it can be done doesn't mean it should be done. She was a little nuts, but old war wounds can do that."
"...Really."
"Yes, really." The doctor looked at the pharoah as he wiped himself off, taking note of the glare in his purple eyes. "I'm not anidiot, I know what you're thinking. Hypocrite. Maybe so, but it wasn't ever my intention to go around and randomly catheter people on the street. Agent W embryos were only intended as a last-ditch effort for women who had no other way to conceive."
"And," The pharoah felt even sicker at the idea. "How exactly does this...'colleague' of yours expect someone like me to give birth?"
"Who knows" was the response - the seeming detachment of it was extremely chilling to Yami. "To be honest, almost all of the people she's stuck have died in the fourth or fifth month due to various complications. You know, placenta placement, immune system response, organ rejection, silly stuff like that. And those are the cases I've been able to locate - even with the tracking devices we put in in the unfertilized eggs she's managed to strike without our knowle-"
"Tracking devices!?" Yami really was about to throw up. "What the hell!?"
"How else do you think I found you? You think I clapped three times and wriggled my nose or something?" The wastebasket was suddenly placed under his nose. "There. I told you, these embryos arespecial, we took every conceivable precaution to prevent their theft. Even if they were stolen, we'd be able to find where they went. You know...baby radar!"
"Urgh..."
After Yami let yesterday's dinner out into the wastebasket, he dropped the basket to the ground and plopped back down onto the table. He could feel beads of sweat cling to his forehead as he let everything the the insane doctor said sink in. Pregnancy, viruses, death...
Baby radar. Yami gave a moan at the last thought. You have to bekidding me.
"Well, I can't save you from all the grief, but I may be able to at least help you on your way." At this, the doctor turned the ultrasound off. "After the first couple of deaths my fellow doctors and I managed to create a little cocktail of hormones, vitamins and anti-rejection medication designed to minimize the possibility of complications in a contingency such as yours. It's got a couple of side effects - slightly higher voice, increased body temp, and sorry, can't get rid of the boobs for awhile or else you'll have a lot of problems. I'll give you enough to cover a couple of months. The complications should be minimal if you take it once a day and no more."
"Hmph." Yami's fists shook slightly. "Thanks...I guess."
Yeah. Thanks for causing this to happen and not trying to prevent it. Thanks for kidnapping me in the middle of the night without any consideration. Thanks for ruining my partner's body and life, you asshole.
He really, really wanted to say all of those things desperately. He couldn't forgive this happening. And he had no idea as to how he was going to tell anyone. Who would possibly believe him?
"Ok!" The doctor rubbed his hands. "So...are you clean? No more gel?"
"...Yes."
"Good!" The American seemed pleased. "Absolutely perfect..."
-----------
WHAM
"Assho-DOOF!"
Yami barely managed to keep his balance as he was unceremoniously tossed out of the back of the unmarked van. Staggering wildly, he crashed his head into a lamppost, collecting himself in time to see the black van screech down the street and out of sight.
Mmmph. He gave a low growl as he rubbed his head and pulled his shirt back down. Yeah, classy.
A rattling sound came from his pants as he began to walk, and he quickly dug his hand into his pocket. Out came a tan prescription bottle with the letter "H" scrawled on it; inside were light blue horse tablets. Yami turned the bottle over one time before jamming it back into his pocket.
Pregnant... He looked up to see that he had been dropped off in front of his house. I'm actually glad...I don't have the Puzzle for once. The way I feel right now, I can't even imagine...how hewould have reacted. And...everyone else...the game shop...seems quiet.
He opened the door to the game shop with a heavy heart, having no doubt that Sugoroku had probably developed a coronary upon seeing his grandson's bed empty that morning and had gone searching for him. Jounouchi, Anzu and Honda had probably gone to lend a hand, and were probably scouring Domino looking for him. In a way, it was a relief; it would give him time to figure out how to explain everything to the people he - and Yugi - cared about. Plus, he had to go to the bathroom.
He had only taken two steps in, however, before he stopped, his eyes wide at the sight that awaited him at the register counter.
...Oh no...!!
"Pharoah!" Jounouchi leaped up from the counter and gave the stunned teenager a bear hug, causing him to almost pee all over himself. "Damnit, quit disappearing on us! We were about to call the cops!"
"Yugi!" Anzu joined the hug. "You're ok! I was so worried!"
"Yugi!!" Honda, his eyes flowing with tears, was last, squeezing into the group hug as best as he could. "Don't i scare /i us like that! With normal Yugi gone you shouldn't be so rash..!!"
"...Guys..."
Under normal circumstances, Yami would have been utterly thrilled to be back, and would have at least apologized for worrying the group, or returned the hug. This was not a normal circumstance, however, and the pharoah simply stayed in one place, tense and frozen. His friends, so glad to see him, immediately picked up on his reaction to their assault, and all three slowly let up.
"...Pharoah?" Jounouchi looked at Yami worriedly. "Is something wrong? It's not Honda's chili finally repeating on you, is it?"
"HEY!" The brown-haired boy squeaked. "Enough about my chili!!"
"Yugi..." Anzu looked down. "Are you not happy to see us?"
Yami opened his mouth to respond, but found himself unable to. 'I'm fine, I've just been somehow knocked up by a psycho' seemed an inappropriate lead-in to the conversation he was being forced to have - or any conversation, for that matter. He gave a nervous gulp.
"Ah..." He wiped his brow, hoping for i some /i kind of rescue from the situation. "I just...need to go to the bathroom. Guys...is...Yugi's grandfather here?"
"His grandfather...?" Jounouchi's eyebrow raised slightly. "Why?"
"Justtell me, is he here."
"...No, he went over to search some of the local game stores for you." Jounouchi's eyes narrowed at the sharpness of Yugi's tone. "But I think I now have a good idea why you'd ask."
"...Is that so?" Yugi felt his anger suddenly rise, even though he knew Jounouchi was right in suspecting him. "And what would that be?"
"Hiding something, maybe?"
"Perhaps," Yami growled, "if I did, I would have a reason for hiding something."
"Hmph, of course you would." The words stung Yami, and his face must have shown it, for Jounouchi glared as he crossed his arms. "I'm beginning to think that to be true. Because honestly? Ever since Yugi disappeared, you've been acting really off. Then you go off and disappear in the middle of the ni-"
"Please." Anzu suddenly appeared between the two, who were glaring at one another by this point. "This isn't the time to yell at one another. Yugi, what's wrong?"
"...It's..." Yami looked away. "I can't tell you out here. It's something...private."
"Private enough that you can't tell your own friends?" Jounouchi's face darkened. "Or are we really your friends anymo-"
"Does it have to do with these?"
Yami looked up just in time to see Honda take the bottle of medication out of his pocket. He felt his entire body shut down at the sight of it, and his eyes almost bugged out.
"Y-yugi!?" Honda's voice squeaked as he looked at the bottle. "Wh-what'sthis!?"
"It's..." The feeling of horror returned, and just as he couldn't speak at the sight of the embryo, words failed the pharoah once again. "I...you..."
"'H'!?" Anzu peeked at the bottle and gasped. "It's a drug!? What's Yugi doing with this...!"
"Drugs!? Why you-how could-!?"
The next thing Yami knew, his back hit the register counter; Jounouchi literally threw him across the room. He gave a grunt as the pain shot up and down his back, and he faced the very surprised and angry expressions of his friends with a look of shock.
"Th-that's-"
"...I thought you were better than that! Why!?" Though his fists were clenched and ready to punch, Jounouchi nevertheless abstained from going on his gut instinct to beat Yami to an inch of his life, and instead focused on the bottle. "What the hell is it!? What kind of a drug!?"
"I..." Anzu sounded upset as she opened the bottle and took out one of the pills. "I don't know! It could be anything!"
"Maybe it's cocaine!"
"Cocaine?"
"I don't know!" Honda growled. "It's not like I take drugs!"
"These are really big pills..." Anzu looked worriedly. "Why would Yugi need these pills?"
"Hmph, I don't know," Jounouchi looked down, his eyes flashing with anger. "Not that pharoah would tell us, I guess."
That stung Yami, and as the group's discussion continued, his shock slowly turned into anger. He couldn't believe that they didn't have more trust in him, than they did in Yugi, that they were so willing to just put down what was going on as being his fault. It wasn't. It couldn't have been. He had no control over the Puzzle being taken; he had no control...over...
"Wait!" Anzu shouted suddenly. "These pills look a lot like the ones one of my father's friends took when...when he was doing chemotherapy!"
"WHAAAAAT!?" The two males were instantly on her. "Y-you mean..."
"Yugi...!!" Anzu's voice choked. "That means Yugi...!!"
"Ohno, why didn't he tell us!?" Honda tore at his hair. "Why, why!? So young, so young!"
"Then...these must be black market pills!" Jounouchi stared in shock. "B-but then where is Yugi...where was he getting the money for all of this!? For the chemo-"
"There's only one possible way!" Anzu's voice quivered. "But...but then that would mean he's been...selling himself...!!"
"Ooooh, the horror!" Honda was by now crying again. "Our dearest friend Yugi, selling his body so that he could afford the medication he needs to live...!!"
"I could have helped him!" Now it was Jounouchi's turn to tear at his hair. "I had the money! I didn't spend it all-"
That was when the pharoah lost it. All the speculation, all of the accusations - and, quite possibly, all of the conflicting hormones that he now knew were raging along inside of him - made him snap. There was no going back.
"GODS DAMNIT," His own scream rose to the point where it vibrated off of the walls and ceiling. "WILL YOU ALL JUST SHUT UP!? I'M NOT DYING, I'M PREGNANT!"
The walls rang from his scream, but the talking from his friends instantly stopped. They slowly turned to face him, their eyes widened, their faces completely devoid of any emotion other than sheer mortification at what he had just said. After several seconds, the pill bottle fell from Honda's hands and bounced on the floor with a rattle.
...Shit. Yami realized what he just did, and could only stare back at them with equal mortification. Shit. Shit. Shit...
But at least they shut up.