So this chapter contains M-rated Lathan. Be forewarned.
Disclaimer: I still do not own One Tree Hill or its characters. The song More Than Anyone is by Gavin DeGraw.
It was October before the boys mentioned that night again. Lucas had woken, naked and shivering, to Tyler's cries. Pulling on his boxers and grabbing his jeans, he'd padded down the hall to the nursery. Tyler was standing in his crib, wailing, with his arms stretched out. When he saw his uncle his cries ceased for a moment before starting up again. It was a miracle Nathan hadn't woken up, but he was likely still hung over from the night before, maybe even still drunk. Lucas' memory was hazy at best, but he remembered enough to not want to be there when Nathan woke up. He found a bottle of juice in the fridge for Tyler and sat the little boy back in his crib. He handed him some cardboard baby books to look at and left the apartment, pulling the door firmly shut behind him until the lock clicked.
The only reason it didn't remain a faint recollection suppressed to the bottom of their memories was because Haley called. Over the past months, Nathan had slowly accepted that Haley was gone. He stopped drinking and started taking better care of Tyler. His son became his life even more than before as Tyler began to talk and even learned to toss a basketball. When she finally called, all the dulled pain, damaged hopes and nights alone were brought back to the surface.
Nathan had just gotten home from picking Tyler up at Karen's after school and had set him down for a nap before the phone rang.
"Hello, Scott residence."
"Nathan?" asked a voice on the other end of the line.
"Who is this?" asked Nathan.
"Nate, it's – it's me. It's Haley."
At this point there was a long silence as neither one knew what to say or how to say it.
"Oh. Well, uh, what did you want?" Nathan demanded at last.
"Um, how's Tyler? I got the pictures you sent. He's getting so big." stalled Haley.
"He's fine. He's sleeping. What do you want, Haley?" asked Nathan tiredly. He had long since stopped fighting and was now just heartsick at what had happened to their lives.
"I was thinking of coming home for a few days. We have a break in the tour, so…"
"Come home for a few days? Haley, you haven't called in eight months. You can't just come home and pick up where we left off."
"Oh. Well, I thought that maybe…okay, then. I shouldn't have called."
"Yeah, maybe not."
"Okay, I'll just go then. Goodbye, Nate. Give Ty a hug from me."
"Haley! Haley, wait!" cried Nathan, suddenly frantic that he was letting her slip through his fingers. Her first phone call in eight months – eight fucking months – and he had to be a cold-hearted bastard. But all he got in response was the dial tone. Once again, Haley was gone. Nathan broke down and sobbed.
With shaky fingers he picked up the phone again and dialed the number he now knew by heart.
"Hello?" asked the voice that he knew so well. A voice that was always there to help him through the darkest moments, connected to an ear that was always willing to listen.
"Hi. Listen, I messed up. I – I need you. Please?"
"Okay, I'll be right there."
"Thanks, Luke."
"Anytime, Nate."
It saddened him to turn to his brother when who he really wanted was his wife. But Lucas had been an outstanding uncle and a shoulder he could always lean on. He didn't kiss passing-through musicians or join their tours. He was dependable. He was a friend.
But the boundaries of that friendship, that brotherhood, had been tested many times since that night in late February. Usually it was when one of them felt lonely and couldn't stand to sleep alone again. Then they were gentle with each other, caressing, touching, loving. Sometimes it was frustration with the turns their lives had taken. Those times they kissed hard and rough, as if the pain could dull all their other emotions. But no matter how they never quite looked at each other, never quite wanted to admit who it was they were touching and kissing when the nights got lonely. Nathan still came with Haley's name on his lips, and Lucas still heard and tried to kiss his pain away. But they never crossed that line that they had crossed in February again. Kissing your brother was one thing, but fucking him was another, and both were wary of the difference.
The one unspoken rule was that they never talked about it. It just was what it was, but what it wasn't was something either wanted to discuss, or admit to needing. So when Lucas arrived at Nathan's apartment that day and Nate said, "We need to talk," Lucas knew something was terribly wrong.
"Luke," began Nathan slowly, "I'm scared." This statement surprised Lucas. Nathan had always hid his feelings of pain and loneliness. Even when he had leaned on Lucas to help him there had still been a wall, he had never fully let Lucas in. Even if he was scared he rarely showed it, and he never admitted to it. "What if Haley never comes back?"
And Lucas knew, then, that Nathan had finally admitted to himself what he had feared since last February. At last he acknowledged the reason for all the nights he had begged for Lucas to comfort him and all the nights Lucas had complied. But Lucas didn't have an answer for Nathan, because he didn't know the answer to the question himself. So he did the next best thing.
"Nate," he whispered, "Come here." He pulled his brother toward him and leaned his forehead against Nathan's. Nate moved closer and relaxed into Lucas, eyes shut and searching for Lucas' lips. He kissed him hard, frantic and distressed. Lucas felt wetness on his cheeks and leaned back; Nathan was crying softly. "Shhh, it's okay," he soothed, wiping away Nathan's tears with his thumbs. "I've got you, Nate." He held him close as Nathan's body wracked with sobs and his face, buried in Lucas' shoulder, stained his brother's shirt with tears.
And then for the second time, Nathan was pulling and tugging at Lucas' belt, trying to get it off. This time Lucas helped him. It was wrong, he knew, but Nate needed him, and he would do anything if it would comfort his little brother. Unclothed down to his boxers, Lucas lifted off the t-shirt of his still crying brother and helped him step out of his jeans.
"Luke," murmured Nathan, and Lucas led him over to the bed and gently lay him down. He straddled Nathan's legs, leaning over his bare chest and leaving soft kisses from the coarse wisps of hair below his belly button up to his jutting collarbone. Gradually, he reached a hand between their bodies and rubbed Nathan through his boxers. Reflexively Nathan arched his hips and ground into Lucas' open palm. Nathan's boxers were tight, stretched across his throbbing erection, and he needed release soon. "Luke," he mumbled again.
"I've got you, baby brother," came the reply. "I'll take care of you." He eased Nathan's boxers lower on his hips and Nathan's erection sprang free. He put his head down and touched his lips to Nathan's cock. With little licks he soothed its red heat and circled his tongue around its head, licking up precum. When Nathan's hips began to jerk involuntarily, fucking his throat, he felt Nathan's hand seize his hair and pull him upwards. Lucas touched his tongue to Nathan's so Nathan could taste himself there, a thought which had both boys twitching and shuddering.
Not quite ready to finish it yet, Lucas licked his fingers and slathered his ass and Nathan's cock with spit. Straddled over Nathan and bracing himself on his knees, he slowly sank back onto Nathan's pulsing cock. He paused for a moment before slowly lifting himself almost all the way off, then sinking back down until he sat on Nathan's spread thighs. Lucas built up a rhythm that Nathan matched with thrusting hips. Tears were still leaking from the corners of Nathan's eyes and running down his face, but his wrenching sobs had subsided. Now he gasped for breath in the moments before he exploded.
This time, though, it was different. Always before he had pretended it was Haley he was with, needed it to be Haley. But tonight, he burst into Lucas screaming his brother's name, and both boys knew there was no denying it anymore.
With Nathan's cries Tyler woke up and the moment was broken. Grabbing clothes from where they'd been scattered on the floor, they ran to fetch the baby. Neither spoke, neither even looked up. They knew what each other was thinking and feeling in their hearts, and that was all that mattered now.