Mummy Boosh.

Summery- By popular demand. While watching The Mummy on Naboo's new shaman DVD player, Vince and Howard get sucked into the film and must stay alive until the end to get out again.

Disclaimer- Mighty Boosh is owned by Noel and Julian. The Mummy is owned by Steven Sommers.

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Chapter Four- The Nightmare Boatride.

Naboo and Bollo got home that night and saw the tele on in the living room. Naboo saw Vince and Howard inside the film, standing together a a boat sailing off.

"They've disobeyed me again" The shaman said, annoyed.

"What will we do?" Bollo answered.

"Go put the kettle on, get the hooka and some popcorn. I want to see how this works" Naboo said, settling down on the sofa.

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That night, the moon was full while the boat sailed down the Nile. Three men in black robes rowed behind them, the one in front had a hook for a hand.

On the deck of the boat, Jonathan had joined a group of Americans for a game of poker. Howard sat near-by, watching how to play the game, hoping to join in. O'Connell walked over to them, a gunny sack on his back.

"O'Connell, sit down. We could use an extra player" Jonathan said, catching sight of him.

"I gamble with my life, never with my money" This perked the interest of one of the Americans, called Daniels.

"Never? What if I was to bet you five hundred dollers we get to Hamunaptra before you do?"

"You guys are looking for Hamunaptra?" O'Connell asked, curious.

"Damn straight we are" Another American, Henderson answered.

"And who said we are?" The Americans pointed to Jonathan and Howard "They did" Jonathan looked sheepish, while Howard just walked away, whistling innocently to look for Vince.

"Alright, you're on" O'Connell said, confident.

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Evy was sitting on a table with Vince, showing him her book on Eygptian history of the Gods and Goddesses.

"I bet the fashion was good back then" Vince smiled, pointing out some of the clothes the gods in the pictures were wearing. Evy couldn't help but smile too, until O'Connell came over and dropped his gunny sack on the table, making them both jump.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you" He apologised.

"The only thing that scares me is your manners" Evy said coolly "Still angry about the kiss then?"

"If you call it a kiss, mister O'Connell" He then unrolled his gunnysack to reveal revolvers, pistols, hunting knives, a massive elephant gun, and a half dozen carefully wrapped sticks of dynamite. Evy and Vince looked at them all, amazed and shocked.

"Are we going into battle?" Evy asked, worring Vince. Howard already was in the middle of one battle and nearly died, he didn't want his best friend to be hurt again.

"There's soemthing underneath that sand" O'Connell said, putting bullets in his rifle.

"Yes, I'm hoping to find a certain artifact, a book, actually, my brother thinks there's treasure. What do you think is out there?" He gave her a look "In a word, evil"

"What do you think is out there, mister Noir?" Vince only had to think about it for a second "A way home for me and Howard. I'd better go and find him, excuse me" He flashed a dizzy grin and walked off. He first went to the cabin he and Howard were sharing but didn't find him. so the goth made his way to the front of the boat. He leant on the railings, with nothing but his thoughts for company.

'I wonder where Howard's gone? I hope we reach a town soon, my clothes are starting to stink. This must be the longest I've been without my new clothes and my hair straightners, it must look like a bird's nest. They probably won't have them here in this time, oh well'

His thoughts were interupted when a hand touched his shoulder, making Vince jump once again. He turned to see Howard behind him, trying a surpress a laugh at his friend's shocked face "Sorry, couldn't resist Vince"

Howard leant againest the railings with his friend, looking out at the starlit night "I wonder if Naboo's got home yet and realised we've gone"

"Probably is, sitting down and watching our plight with Bollo and his hooka. Punishment for not listening to him. I'm sorry I got you into this Howard" The jazz maverick just placed his arm around his friend's shoulders, as a way of saying 'it's not your fault really'. Vince smiled up at him, but the silence was interupted by the sound of water splashing. They looked down in the water to see a weasely looking man cursing and splashing around.

"Don't worry about him, he'll be fine" O'Connell called out to the pair, before notising something wet on the floor behind him and walked away.

A few minutes later, panic happened. The cabins somehow caught fire and many men, some with horses, were making their way off the firery boat. Howard got seperated from Vince in the rush and was trying desperately to find him. He spun to see O'Connell helping Evy overboard, only for a black robed man to beat him, but O'Connell overpowered him and kicked him into the flames. He then jumped over himself, followed by the warden who came with them.

He heard Vince call out for him, and he turned to see his friend looking desperatly for him. He rushed over to the goth, only for a big piece of burning wood to fall in front of him and block his way. He cried out for his friend only to be pulled back by Jonathan and told to go overboard, but he was not going without Vince, he'd rather stay on the boat with him and go down too.

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Vince saw Howard come towards him, but look horrified as the wood fell down and blocked his only way off the boat. He looked around but could only worry as the flames got closer to him, he sat in the corner that wasn't on fire, curling his arms around his knees and waited for the flames to comsume him. Tears flowed down his face and dripped on the floor.

He picked his head up though when he heard wood shifting and saw two people trying to shift the beam out the way. He smiled as he saw Howard and Jonathan finally move the wood out the way, hVince rushed over and held his friend close "I knew you wouldn't leave me behind Howard

"No time for that, let's go!" Jonathan yelled, jumping in the water. Howard looked at Vince and indicated to jump.

'Well, I'd rather my hair got wet then burnt off' Vince though as he jumped into the cold waters. A few minutes later, Vince, Howard, the Carnahan siblings, the warden and O'Connell made it safely to the bank, Vince's hair was wet through and clinging to his forehead.

Beni, the weasely man called over from the other side of the river "O'Connell, hey O'Connell. Looks like I got all the horses"

"Hey Beni, looks like you're on the wrong side of the river" O'Connell shouted back. Beni looked around him and saw where all the Americans and workers they brought along and indeed O'Connell was right. He cursed then kicked the waters.

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The next day, the gang arrived at an Bedouin trading post. Jonathan was trying to get camels with O'Connell and Howard, Evy and Vince (who they mistakened as a woman, again) had been taken off to get new clothes.

"I only want seven" Jonathan yelled. O'Connell just took his money and paid the trader, giving two to Howard.

"Should have just gave him your sister, and Vince" Howard and Jonathan were thinking the same thought

"Yes, awfully tempting isn't it?" O'Connell stopped in his tracks when he saw Evy wearing a black lace Bedouin outfit with a veil. Vince also was wearing the same outfit, only without the veil "Yeah, tempting" O'Connell muttered to himself.

"Looking good ther Vince " Howard smiled at his friend. Vince smiled back, but looked away.

"Thanks for saving me last night, Howard" The jazz maverick hugged the goth with one arm "Just consider us even now" They shared a laugh before getting on their camels, a challenge within itself.

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This chapter probably seems quite slashy but it isn't lol it probably sucks instead. enjoy anyway from chugirl2526.