The Mummy Boosh Chapter 5: Arriving into Danger, a mighty boosh fanfic

Mummy Boosh.

Summery- By popular demand. While watching The Mummy on Naboo's new shaman DVD player, Vince and Howard get sucked into the film and must stay alive until the end to get out again.

Disclaimer- Mighty Boosh is owned by Noel and Julian. The Mummy is owned by Steven Sommers.

Author's notes: Because of how sucess ful the part in the last chapter was, i'm not making this story a slash fic, mainly fluff though thank you all who inspired it.

Chapter Five- Arriving Into Danger.

As they travelled across the sand dunes, Jonathan starting complaining "Never did like camels. Flithy buggers, they smell, they bite, they spit. Disgusting" As he said this, the warden spat near Howard's camel.

"I think they're lovely" Evy admitted, stroking the top of her camel's head. Vince would have agreed, if he wasn't in the middle of a conversation with his, mainly talking about Gary Numan and desert fashion. Howard couldn't help but smile at his young friend, but the smile dropped when he realised how close he was to losing Vince yesterday. If he did die, Howard wouldn't be able to live with the guilt and sadness. The goth did look up from his conversation to gives a large grin at Howard, before going back to his talk with his transport.

Soon it became night time, the moon once again quite full in the sky. Jonathan was asleep, so was the warden, snoring loudly. So Jonathan just had to smack him with the whip to make him stop.

Howard was riding next to Vince, trying hard to stay awake. His friend already was asleep, but starting shivering from the cold night air. The jazz mavarick notised this and took off his jacket O'Connell gave him the day they got out of prison, placing it around Vince's shoulders. The goth stopped shivering, and a small smile appeared on his handsome face. Howard couldn't help but stroke the side of his friends face, then his soft hair. He'd been wanting to tell Vince his feelings for him for ages, but never had the courage too. Maybe after this adventure finally finished, he'd tell him.

O'Connell rode next to Evy, who was a sleep also and falling out of her saddle. He placed her back into it and smiled, then looked up on top of a cliff, and saw a load of men in black robes, just watching them.

The next morning, Jonathan and the warden started arguing "And you snore" The warden looked at him offened "I do not snore" "Yes, you did. You snored all night" Howard just rolled his eyes at the argument, while Vince just giggled. He knew he could feel Howard playing with his hair last night, but didn't want to say anything. He had feelings for his friend, but didn't want to get his hopes up that Howard loved him too.

"We're almost there" O'Connell said, looking at Evy "How are you sure?" She asked. He looked down to the floor, where many skeletons were sticking out of the sand. Evy and Howard looked disguted, while Vince looked at them with wonder "Cool" He said quietly.

"What the bloody hell are they?" Jonathan asked, equally as disgusted as his sister "Other seekers of Hamunaptra" The warden answered.

They passed a rather large dune, where the American party meet them. Both parties stopped a few feet away from each other, and waited.

"What the hell are we waiting for?" Daniels demanded "Patience, my good sahib, patience" Beni answered him.

Henderson called over O'Connell "Remember our bet, first one to city, five hundred cash bucks" O'Connell and Beni just stared out at the flatness ahead, making Evy, Jonathan and Samantha gives looks at each other. Howard looked at Vince, who just shrugged his shoulders and smiled, eagerly waiting for adventure.

"Get ready for it" Evy looked for O'Connell "For what?" He answered "We're about to be shown the way" The sun began it's rise, until it got to the point that a volcano started showing. Both parties then shot off towards it, O'Connell and Beni had a fight which whips were struck at each other and Beni ended up on the floor. Vince just sucked his tounge out at him and Evy said "And that serves you right".

O'Connell was shooting out in front, while Evy's camel was closing in on him, when she got neck and neck with him, she smiled at him. Then all of a sudden, her camel shot off, while Jonathan was cheering her on. Soon enough, Evy was the first into the city, followed by O'Connell. Soon the rest of their party arrived. Vince cheering al the way, while Howard was nearly giving his camel the death grip in fright.

The diggers that are with the Americans started shifting rocks from an entrance into Hamunaptra. The Egyptologist was giving instructions to them from on top of the entrance, while Henderson looked over to where O'Connell's party "Do they know something we don't?"

The Egyptologist just turned to him "They are lead by a woman, what does a woman know?"

Across the volcano, O'Connell was getting ropes tied to pillers ready to go down into the city. The warden was doing nothing and Jonathan was cleaning some mirrors. Vince was looking in amazement at their surroundings, while Howard stuck close to him, in case anything else happened to him "According to Bembridge Scholars, inside the statue of Anubis was a secret compartment, perhaps containing The Book Of The Living" O'Connell looked up from his work "What are the mirrors for?"

Evy looked at him "Ancient Egyptian trick. You'll see" He shrugs and jumps into the cervise they found into Hamunaptra. Underneath, they found themselves in a chamber. O'Connell, Jonathan and Evy took a torch each, while Vince and Howard looked around in wonder.

"Do you realise we're standing in a room no-one has entered in over four thousand years" Evy said, excited.

"What is that God awful smell?" Jonathan asks, sniffing the air. Vince pointed to the side of him and he saw the warden standing near him. Evy then brushes the cobwebs of a metal disk and pushes it down, so it could catch the light "And then there was light".

The whole chamber then lit up with light, showing a room with many tables in it "Oh my God. It's a prepartion room" Evy stated, excited.

"Preparation for what?" Rick asked, his curiousity rising "For entering the afterlife, O'Connell" Evy stated.

"Mummies, my good son, this is where they made the mummies" Jonathan stated, as they made their way out of the room.

While walking down a narrow passageway, a rumbling sound could be heard. Everyone braced themselves, and the warden just farted "Dear God" Howard stated, looking as though he was going to collapse. Vince just brust into hysterical laughter, grabbing his sides as he collapse to the floor, tears dripping down his face. Howard just picked him up by his arm gewntly and made him keep walking.

They kept on walking until they got to a half buried statue of Anubis. Suddenly, a scratching sound could be heard. O'Connell pulled out his pistol, while Jonathan pulled out a tiny derringer. They then jumped out of the side of the statue, only to find themselves faced with the Americans.

"Ya scared the bejeezus out of us, O'Connell" Henderson stated, starting to put his gun away "Likewise" O'Connell said, doing the same with his gun.

"This is our statue... friend" Daniels said "I don't see your name written on it... pal"

Then Beni came from behind them "Four to one, O'Connell, your odds are no-so-good" O'Connell pointed his gun towards Beni "I've had worse" Jonathan pointed his tiny gun towards Beni as well "Yeah, me too" O'Connell just gave him a look and turned back towards Beni.

Evy then pulls O'Connell's arm down "Let's be nice, children, if we're going to play together, we must learn to share. There are other places to dig" He cocked his guns and put them away, then got lead away with Jonathan, Vince, Howard and the warden at his heels.

"According to my calculations, we should be right under the statue. We'll come up right between his legs" Evy said. She, O'Connell, Jonathan, Vince and Howard were in a chamber underneath Anubis's statue. O'Connell, Howard and Jonathan were smashing the ceiling above them.

"And when those dirty yanks go to sleep...no offense" Jon said, before looking at O'Connell "None taken".

"We'll sneak right up and steal that book from right under them" Vince said, watching as they worked and catching onto the plan "Are you sure we can find the secret compartment?" O'Connell asked.

"Well, if those beastly Americans haven't got to it before us...no offence" "None taken" Jonathan looked around the room "Where'd our smelly little friend get to?"

The warden crawled his way though a small, narrow passageway. He reached the end and stands up inside a chamber. A mural wall comes alive, embedded into it are dozens of black amethyst scarbs. Awestruck, the warden pulls out a pocket knife and starts prying away at one of the precious bugs "What's this? Black gold?"

He puts it into his sidebag and starts prying more off.

Beni and the Americans hover around the Egyptologist, who's found the serect compartmant inside the statue of Anubis. The Egyptologist brushes sand away from the seam and Henderson steps forward and grabs the seam, -- the Egyptologist quickly stops him "Stop, Seti was no fool. Perhaps we should let the diggers get it out?"

"Yeah, sure. We'll let them open it" Henderson agreed. Three diggers get crowbars and start prying at the seams. Then, a burst of liquid comes out of the seams and sprays onto the diggers, making their skin melt off their bodies. The Americans and Beni screamed.

Evy and O'Connell sit on rocks, taking a break from the digging and talking about mummification. Jonathan was playing golf with rocks and one of the tools and Vince and Howard were looking at the pictures on the walls.

"Do you know how they took out your brain?" Evy asked "They stick a red hot poker up your nose, scramble things about a bit and rip it all out though your nostrils"

O'Connell winced "Oh, that's got to hurt" Evy spoke with a smile "Don't worry. You'll be dead when they do that"

O'Connell spoke up again "If we don't get out of here alive, don't put me down for mummification" Jonathan didn't look at him from his golf game "Likewise" He took a shot and the ceiling cave in, O'Connell jerks Evy clear and Jonathan jumps from danger. Howard drags Vince away from the fallings rocks and presses him close to his body, making both of them smile inside at how perfect their bodies melded together.

As soon as the dust cleared, everyone got up again to see what fell. It looked like a stone casement.

"Oh my... it looks like a sarcophagus" They look up "Buried at the base of Anubis" Evy looked down again and continued "He must have been someone of great importance...or he did something very naughty".

The warden is still prying away at another scarab It rips off and he drops it into his pouch, only he misses, and it scarab quietly falls to the sandy floor without the Warden noticing. The amethyst starts to glow. Something inside starts to wiggle; as if the amethyst were some sort of strange cocoon. Then it splits open and a real live scarab beetle scurries out.

It races over to the warden's shoe, quickly burrows into the leather and vanishes inside. The warden's eyes fly open and he starts screaming, dropping his knife and frantically starts clawing away at his pant leg, higher and higher until he rips open his shirt revealing a large, hideous lump where the scarab was.

It keeps burrowing under his skin. It burrows it's way along his belly and his chest. The warden claws and scratches at it, trying to stop it. The lump then burrws up his neck, the warden starts screaming even more as the scarab burrows into his head.

Evy is dusting the sand of the top of the sarcophagus, and starts staring at the only hieroglyph. Jonathan strums his fingers impatiently on it "Well, who is it?"

Evy looked puzzled as she said "He who shall not be named" O'Connell blows on what seems to be the lock to the sarcophagus "There's some kind of lock here. You say these thing's are made of granite with a steel interior?"

"Quarried granite with a cobalt lining" Evy answered, trying to get a better look "Whoever's in here sure wasn't getting out" Jonathan spoke up. Howard and Vince even got brave enough to take a closer look.

"It will take a month to get in here withoput a key" O'Connell replied. Evy then had the look of recognition on her face and started rummaging though Jonathan's pack "That's it. A key, the man with the hook for a hand on the barge said something about a key" She appeared from the bag again with the key/box in her hands "That's mine" Jonathan whined reaching out for it, only to have Evy slap his hands.

Vince laughed as Evy placed the key into the lock prefectly and smiled. They both stopped when they heard screaming coming from the corridor behind them. They all went outside the chmaber to see the warden shooting down the corridor, Jonathan and O'Connell try to grabbed his hands to stop him, but he slipped their grasps. He then slams his head down into the wall and falls down dead.

Evy, O'Connell and Jonathan stood there, wide-eyed and breathing hard. Howard didn't know what to do except to cover Vince's eyes from the horror that happened. He didn't want the young man to have nightmares about death.

Jonathan and Evy sat around the fire in their little camp, O'Connell has just gone off to see the Americans. Vince paled as Howard explained what happened to the warden "What do you think killed him?" he asked.

"Ever see him eat?" Jonathan answered, with a hint of humour. Vince smiled, then notised O'Connell coming back to them. He settled down next to Evy.

"Seems the Americans had a little misadventure of their own today, three of their diggers were melted" O'Connell told them. Jonathan looked disgusted when he asked "How?"

"Pressurized salt acid. Some sort of ancient booby-trap" O'Connell metional. Howard spoke up "Maybe this place really is cursed", then the campfire flicker, causing Jon, O'Connell and the boys to share a look. Evy just laughed.

"Don't belive in curses, eh?" O'Connell asked.

"No, I don't. I belive that if I can touch it and I can see it, then it's real. That's what I belive" Evy told him, poking at the fire with a large stick.

"Well, I belive in being prepared" O'Connell answered back, cocking his rifle.

"Let's see what our friend the warden belived in" Jonthan said, as he started going around inside the warden's pouch. Then he screams loudly, as he takes his hand back out. Evy and O'Connell screamed and Howard was immediatly worried for Vince's safety, likewise Vince was worried for Howard's safety..

"What? What is it?" Evy asked. Jonathan just sucked on his finger and pulled out a old brown bottle.

"A broken bottle. Seagrams, if I'm not mistaken. Well, he might have been a stinky fellow, but at least he had good tatse" He took a lond drink of it.

Suddenly, gunfire could be heard from the American camp. O'Connell was immediatly up and tossed his rifle to Evy "Stay here" He yelled, as he ran to the camp.

So, Evy ran after him anyway, with Jonathan, Vince and Howard following. Jonathan taking his bottle of seagrams with him, as well as a smaller gun "Wait, didn't the man just say stay here? Evy?"

A dozen Med-jai warriors made their way into the American camp, shooting down anyone who got in their way. Several diggers got killed, while the Americans were firing back.

O'Connell starts firing with them, as he runs up on top of some rocks. He then leaps out and tackles him off the leader's horse. The two men slam to the ground and O'Connell spins up onto one knee and fires his handgun. It blows the scimitar out of the leader's hand.

O'Connell is about to shoot again when a horse rides up between them. A scimitar swoops down, almost takes O'Connell's head off, misses him by an inch. O'Connell leaps up and blows the Rider off his mount. He looks around, but the leader was missing.

Evy hides behind some rocks, watching the scene, suddenly, she hears something coming up behind her and spins around. A Med-jai warrior races at her. Evy quickly backpedals over the rocks, terrified. The warrior raises his scimitar, about to strike. Evy screams, trips over a rock and fires the rifle, blowing the warrior off his mount.

Jonathan and Howard stood behind a quite high wall, Jonathan firing while the jazz mavarick stayed next to him, watching the carnage. He got seperated from Vince again, and cursed his bad luck. All the while, Jonathan kept taking swigs of his Seagrams until Beni came over and took the bottle from his hands, taking his own swigs. He stopped in mid pause when he saw the Med-jai leader coming at them, scimitar raised.

Beni spat the drink in Jonathan's face and he, Jon and Howard ran for their lives. O'Connell notised this and jumped from some more rocks, onto the leader and started hand-to-hand combat with him. Howard saw Vince behind them and turned back, ignoring Jonathan pleas to follow him.

He ran to his friend and saw one of the Med-jai warriors raise a gun at Vince. Before he could yell at Vince to move, a shot rang out and Vince fell backwards, landing on the sand and not moving. Howard ran to his friend and gathered him up in his arms, seeing the blood pouring out of a shoulder wound, the bullet seemed to be stuck.

O'Connell raises a gun at him, but the leader's scimitar knocked it out of his hands. O'Connell then rolled on the ground and draws a stick of dyamite out of a bag in the camp. He lights it and waves it in front of the leader.

"Alright, stop. We will shed no more blood tonight. But leave this place, leave this place or die. You have one day" He yelled something in Arabic and the other Med-jai warriors rode off with him into the distance.

O'Connell watches them, then blows out the fuse of the dynamite. He then walks over to where Evy is. Evy was lying down on the sand, with the rifle still pointing up and O'Connell helped her up.

"You alright?" O'Connell asked Evy.

She nodded "Yes...Fine...Thank you" They look around the camp, many bodies of the diggers layed around.

Daniels spoke up "That proves it. Old Seti's treasure gotta be under that sand for them to protect it like that"

O'Connell disagreed "These are desert people. They treasure water, not gold"

Then Evy looked around, worried "Where's Jonathan?" But her fears for her brother slighty wavered when she saw Howard carring his friend in his arms "He's been shot, please help him".

O'Connell took the limp body from his arms and placed Vince down on his jacket he took off ealier, so the sand couldn't get into the wound "Evy, pass me my knife, out my gunny sack" When it was placed in his waiting hand, O'Connell was stopped from doing anything by Howard.

"I won't let you hurt him anymore" He said, tears falling down his face from fear but his eyes show determination.

"If I don't get the bullet out, I can't clean the wound and he'll get sicker. Is that what you want?" O'Connell nearly yelled. howard looked down "No" He let go of his friend's wrist and walked away, not wanting to see Vince in more pain, but he couldn't stop himself from wincing when he heard his friend yell in pain as Vince felt the knife go into his shoulder.

Jonathan landed on the floor, his eyes wide open, looking dead. His eyes then closed and he put on his goofy grin. He is definatly drunk. Then he passes out. They found him with Beni, hiding in some sort of small cave. They were sharing the bottle between them, and were nicely drunk when they were found.

O'Connell and Evy, who were also nicely drunk themselves after finishing of what was left in the bottle, laughed at Jon's antics. O'Connell offered Evy some more drink, but she refused, slurring badly.

"Unlike my brother, I know when to say no" So she took the bottle from O'Connell anyway and took a swig. O'Connell then had it back and finished off the last drops.

"Unlike your brother, I just don't get you" He answered back to her. She nodded.

"I know, you're wondering what is a place like me doing in a girl like this?" Her speech seriously shot by the drink.

"Something like that" O'Connell answered. Evy pulled out a old pendent and opened it up, showing him a picture of two adults.

"You see, my father was a explorer, he loved Egypt so much that he married an Egyptian. My mother, who was quite an adventurer herself" She told him.

"Ok, I get your mother and I get your father. I get your brother as well, but you I just don't get" Evy gets up to her feet, insulted.

"I may not be an explorer, or an adventurer, or a treasure hunter, or a gunfighter! Mister O'Connell But I'm proud of what I am" O'Connell looks up to her and asks "And, what is that?"

She holds her head up high "I am a librarian" She smiles and kneels down next to O'Connell, looking right into his face "I am going to kiss you now, Mister O'Connell"

He looked at her back, with a smile on his face "Call me Rick" Evy smiles and leans in for the kiss, only to pass out in his arms.

Howard sat next to his injured friend. The sleeve of the black top was cut away to reveal white bandages, meaning the bleeding has finally stopped. Once the bullet was out, O'Connell asked Howard to hold Vince down while he cleaned the wound with some water and some of Jonathan's seagrams. When the seagrams touched the wound, Howard prayed to any Gods that were listening that Vince would never make that scream of pain ever again in his life.

He stroked his friend's face, which was more paler then usual now from the blood loss. He nearly lost Vince again today, and it's was his own fault for not watching where he was going, for not protecting his younger friend. He closed his eyes and sighed while stroking the goth's soft hair, not notising Vince's eyes were open.

"Howard?" He asked, weakly, almost a whisper. But Howard heard it.

"Vince, thank God. I thought you'd never wake up" His friend tried to sit up, only to slink back down with a gasp of pain "Don't move, you've been shot. O'Connell patched you up good. I'm so sorry Vince, you're hurt again and it's my fault" Blue eyes tinged with pain looked at him.

"No, it's my fault. I tripped over that rock, never even saw it there" Howard couldn't help but smile at his friend's clumsiness "You never did anything wrong, I feel I've more let you down" Howard grabbed one of his hands.

"Don't you ever think that Vince. Don't you ever!" Vince's mouth opened with shock at his friend shouting at him "You could never let me down, I've more let you down, I should have been protecting you. Don't you even know how important you are to me? Even more then a friend?" Howard stopped shouting as he admitted his feelings. Vince just looked at him in shock before speaking "You love me?"

Howard looked away and nodded, prepering for the worst. Instead, he found his hand being held more firmly. He looked back to see Vince smiling a tired grin at him "I love you too, you nut. I just couldn't tell you incase you didn't"

Howard smiled and placed a small kiss on Vince's lips, only to find his head being hel by the other arm and the kiss deepening. They only broek apart to get some much needed air into their now empty lungs, smiling at each other. Howard then lay down next to his new lover and held him in his arms, covering him in warmth from the still cold air, Vince smiling as they both went to sleep.

O'Connell looked over to the pair and smiled "At least someone's got what they wanted on this trip so far" He said quietly to himself, before lying down and drifting off himself.

there we go howince yay. now my faithful reviewers, my next story to write in going to be placed into yours hands. i will give you three choices of what story i should write after this one and i want you to tell me what sounds best in your reviews.

1. mighty boosh crossed with labyrint

2. mighty boosh crossed with anastasia

3. mighty boosh crossed with aladdin.

thank you all who've reviewed so far from chugirl2526.