Property of Yashamaru

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, Naruto characters, Suna, or anything you may recognize. I do, however, own a Suna AND a Konaha headband.

This has gotten so long that there's now going to be 2 parts… Well, ENJOY!!!

Part 1:

Gaara was sitting alone, like he normally did, around midnight one night. He was bored out of his mind. There was nothing to do. Suddenly he had an idea. He would read Yashamaru's diary, which he had put in the small wooden box in his closet. The young Kazakage unlocked the box and pulled out the diary. He opened to the first page, which said: Property of Yashamaru. He then flipped to the next page, and started reading what the diary said.

Kankuro's growing so much, today he learned to walk. Watching elder sister with her kids is bitter-sweet though. I miss the days when we were young, and mother thought it was just a phase. Elder sister was forcibly persuaded, but I still have lingering feelings for her, though I dare not speak up about them, as she acts as if it was bad, and I know it hurts her. But I still am happy for her and her children.

Temari, too, has grown. She's nearly four now. She already runs around the house counting and spelling. She'll be starting school soon. To this day, Elder sister denies that there is even the remotest possibility that Temari could be mine. Every time I try to talk to her about it, Elder sister lays her hand on her heart and says, "Oh, Yashamaru, please don't drag up that past". I wish we could talk about that, but though I like to reveal in those memories, they hurt Elder sister terribly.

Mother's anniversary of her death was today. I accompanied Elder sister to mother's grave. Elder sister brought flowers, but I brought nothing. I did not ever like mother. She always stared daggers at me, and she always yelled about the 'terrible things' that I 'made' my sister do, though Elder sister almost always stood up for me, saying I forced her to do nothing. We had loved each other. But mother had to ruin that also. When Lord Kazakage had expressed interest in Elder sister, mother had approved immediately, wanting to do anything to keep Elder sister from 'him' or 'that monster' or whatever she was calling me at the time. She had never regarded our love as anything more than a fling. But Elder sister had been favored by mother, so, naturally, she wanted to go and pay her respects.

Temari turned four today. I swear, she is the cutest thing ever. Her smile lights up the room. She also looks like Elder sister when she has her hair down. I think that's why Elder sister usually has Temari's hair up, because she looks so much like her. Someday, when she's grown, the boys will be all over her. I know her beauty will not deteriorate; after all, Elder sister's appearance has never been lost.

Elder sister is talking about having another child. I've calmly cautioned her, but at the time approved the thought. She laughed and said I was so strange it made her laugh. I only smiled as she picked fun at me. It's the first genuine laugher I've heard her utter in quite a while.

Elder sister and my birthday was today. We celebrated together. Today elder sister also told me the good news. She is to give birth to a third child. It hurts, seeing elder sister so happy with Lord Kazakage. It seems like only yesterday we were young and pledging to each other that we would be together forever. Sometimes I wonder if she ever realized the extent of what I meant when we were promising each other this…

Most of the guests were for Elder sister, as they always are. She stood in a small platform and announced that she would be expecting. Everyone congratulated her, but when I got up there I guess I hadn't played happy well enough, because she looked at me slightly pained. She ruffled my hair and said, "I'm sorry this hurts you, Yashamaru."

Elder sister and I talked about the past. Whenever we talk about that, there's always tension and awkwardness. We always go silent, because it hurts Elder sister. She says she still loves me, but I think her love has deteriorated. My love for her has remained steady. It has never wavered, and even as a child I knew this. Once, when we were young, we said we'd get married to each other. Mother scolded us for that and explained it wasn't right for to siblings to get married, but we said we'd runaway. It was then that mother started watching me closely. We had usually found a way around her scrutinizing eye, but whenever we were found saying anything like that or, as we got older, acting upon our love, mother would always scold me, then Elder sister would defend me, then mother would give up, but still stare daggers a me. To her, our love was dirt, to be swept under the rug and forgotten about, and I was a fox, sneaking around and grabbing what didn't belong to me.

Then Lord Kazakage started expressing interest in Elder sister. I cannot blame him. Mother set up dates and such for them without asking Elder sister. Elder sister feinted interest in him during those occasions. But when she got home she would tell me about how boring he seemed. Mother only saw how well off he was, and how 'not me' he was. When Lord Kazakage asked for Elder sister's hand, mother had agreed and set up everything behind Elder sister's back, so when the day came, Elder sister couldn't back down.

Secretly, for a few months after Lord Kazakage and Elder sister got married, Elder sister and I would still see each other. It was right after Elder sister said that mother was right and that this was wrong that Elder sister announced that she was expecting Temari. And, well, you pretty much know what has happened since then. Elder sister grew away from me and towards Lord Kazakage, while I have only been shunned by Elder sister.

I miss the old days.

Elder sister told me today that Lord Kazakage plans on implanting the Shukaku inside the unborn child. She is distraught about this, and all day I have been trying to comfort her. I feel as close to her now as I've ever felt. I want to hurt the Kazakage for putting her through this Hell, but, of course, I cannot.

Kankuro's birthday was today. He's now two. Elder sister is very proud of both her children. It's obvious that she loves them both very much. Even though she loves them so very much, she doesn't spoil them, which is good. Elder sister seems like she was born to be with children. She can naturally balance what she must do with watching her children. But that's just another thing that I love about her.

I was supposed to go to Lord Kazakage's birthday party today, but I declined. Whenever Lord Kazakage's birthday comes around, he invites all of Suna. Then he makes everything seem all right, laughing fake laughs and using Elder sister and the children as trophies of his accomplishments. I almost never go to Lord Kazakage's birthdays for these reasons.

Elder sister is starting to get things for the unborn child. She's gotten a nice crib for the child and put it in the child's room. She's starting to look for clothes. I told her I thought she was starting to do all this baby stuff a little to early, but she laughed and said that you can never start too early.

Things have slowed down quite a bit, so I don't exactly know when I'll be writing more.

Elder sister says she heard Lord Kazakage giving an order to Chiyo to get the Shukaku. Elder sister is thinking that Lord Kazakage is really going to implant the Shukaku in their unborn child. I can tell she is scared. She doesn't want their child to be part demon. But, if Lord Kazakage is truly planning to do that, we will have no way to oppose him.

Elder sister is so scared by the prospect that Lord Kazakage may be planning to put the Shukaku in the child that Elder sister is starting to write a will. She has already told me that if she dies, she wants me to be the guardian of the child. I agreed, though I wish she would not talk about these things.

I think Lord Kazakage is starting to suspect that we know something, because whenever we're together, he looks at us like he's trying to figure us out.

Elder sister is starting to try to explain how things will change when the child is born to Temari and Kankuro. They know a little, I think, but do not fully understand, which is completely acceptable for them being so young.

Today is a dark day, and I fear that I will never be whole again. Elder sister died today after giving birth to the demon child. She told me before she died that she wanted the demon to be called Gaara. She wanted it to survive by loving only itself, and she hoped that it would be a reminder that she died hating and cursing the world. She wants it to fight for itself, and I think she wants it to be the downfall of the village.

I shall miss you very deeply, Elder sister Karura. It is a pity that you went like this, but it is more of a pity that you never realized how much I cared for you.

I still remember how you used to tell me not to call you elder sister, because you were only my elder by three minutes. I will miss the old days when we were children.

Elder sister's funeral was today. Temari cried quite a bit, and Kankuro just kept asking, "Where mommy?" Lord Kazakage spoke about her life, and then asked me to speak. I spike of her as a person, highlighting her beauty and personality, but making sure to keep out of events of her life that had to do with me.

Lord Kazakage has found Elder sister's will, and so, the guardianship of the child falls into my hands. I think I shall try to protect the child and care for it as Elder sister would, but my heart aches and anger flares when I look at the child, so I don't know if I'll ever be able to love the child.