Mummy Boosh.
Summery- By popular demand. While watching The Mummy on Naboo's new shaman DVD player, Vince and Howard get sucked into the film and must stay alive until the end to get out again.
Disclaimer- Mighty Boosh is owned by Noel and Julian. The Mummy is owned by Steven Sommers.
Author's notes: Because of how sucessful the part in the last chapter was, i'm not making this story a slash fic, mainly fluff though thank you all who inspired it.
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Chapter Seven- More Dangers.
British Fort, Cairo.
Evy and Rick are inside Evy's bedroom. A steamer trunk is flung open after being thrown on the floor, Rick is chucking a load of dresses into it.
"I thought you didn't believe in this stuff?" He shouted, as Evy started taking the dresses back out again.
"Having an encounter with a four thousand year old walking-talking corpse tends to convert one" She answered, as Rick made his way to the wardrobe again.
"Forget it, we're out the door down the hall and gone" Rick interupted her.
"No we are not. We woke him up, and we must try and stop him" Evy was still unpacking her clothes.
"We? What we? I told you not to play around with that thing" Rick said angerly.
"Fine. I... I read from the book, I woke him up and I intend to stop him" Evy placed her hands on her hips, irritated.
"How? You heard the man, there is no mortal way of killing him" Rick said.
"Well, we'll just have to find an immortal way" She said and in her haste, she slammed the ld of the trunk on top of Rick's hands. He yelled in pain and stuck his fingers in his mouth.
"According to that Book, once this creature has been reborn, his curse will spread, and as he grows in strength, so will his curse grow, infecting the people until the whole of the earth is destroyed" Evy continued, while still unpacking her belongings.
"Is that my problem?" Rick yelled, his fingers still plusing with hurt.
"It's everyone's problem now" She yelled back.
"Look lady, I appreciate you saving my life and all, but when I signed on, I agreed to take you out there and bring you back, and I did, now were even, end of job, end of story, contract terminated"
"Is that all I am to you, a contract?" Evy was so angry and humilated.
"You can tag along with me, or you can stay here and try to save the world?" Rick gave her a choice.
"I'm staying" Evy finalised, crossing her arms across her chest.
"Fine" Rick yelled, slamming the door behind him. He then walked back into the room, and threw down a teddy he had currently held.
--
Inside their own room, Howard was lying on the bed next to Vince, who was sleeping. The rush on the camels away from those cursed ruins caused Vince more pain, so he went to their room to lie down from a rest. Howard got his some water for when he woke up and lay next to him, wrapping his arms around his lover.
"I promise to look after now Vince, you're not gonna be hurt anymore" Howard whispered, stroking the goth's hair.
"Thank you, Howard" He looked down to see Vince's eyes open, a tinge of pain still in them but looking much better then before.
"Come on, let's have a look at the wound" Howard sat his friend up and removed the top Vince had been wearing for two days, then the bandages from around the shoulder. The gunwound had healed a bit, clotting nicely "It's looking better then before" He smiled down at Vince, but the smile left his face when he saw tears gathering in his lover's eyes.
"I'm so scared now, Howard. That thing wants me for something and I think it's for a sacrifice, like in the film. If we have to get out of here, I think something bad's gonna happen to me or you" Howard gathered Vince in his arms and let him cry his fears away on his shoulders
--
Rick made his way down into the casbah of the fort. An older guy with a walrus mustache is drunk and talking to some tough customers. He wears British WWI fighter pilot gear.
"I'm the last of the Royal Force still stationed here, you know? All the other laddies died in the air and were buried in the sand" The pilot said, walking with Rick to the actually bar. "Ever since the end of the Great War, there hasn't been a single challenge worthy of a man like me"
They make their way over to Jonathan, who was looking at the key/box. Rick flicked him in the head and Jon put it away, pouring shots of whisky from a bottle he just bought "Well, we've all got our own problems, don't we Winston?" Rick said, taking his own shot.
"I just wish I would've chucked it with the other laddies, gone down in a flame of glory, instead of sitting around here, rotting from boredom and booze" He took the shot Jonathan was- well did, hold and knocked it back in one go "Oh well, back to the airfield" Winston slapped them both on the back and walked off.
"Tell me, is your sister...?" Rick began to ask, but Jonathan cut in "Oh yes, very much so" Henderson and Daniels stood beside them and Jonathan began pouring shots again.
"Well, we're all packed up, but the damn boat dosen't leave till tomorrow" Henderson complained, taking his shot.
"Tails set firmly between your legs, I see?" Jonathan asked.
"Well, you don't have some walking corpse coming after you" Jonathan asked Daniels "How's your friend?"
"He had his tounge and his eyes ripped out, how would you feel?" He said, irratated.
--
In another part of the fort, Burns was currently have visitors in his room: Beni and a stranger in some ragged robes and a Eygptian death mask.
"I'm so glad to meet you" Burns spoke with a severe speech impediment (of course you would too, with your tounge ripped out). He also had a bandage around where his eyes would have been. He reached out his hand to shake hands with the stranger.
Beni stopped his hand "Prince Imhotep does not like to be touched, silly Eastern supersition I'm afraid"
"Please forgive me" Burns pleaded, leaning forwards and knocking over a cup of tea on the table.
"Mister Burns, Prince Imhotep thanks you for your hosbilality, -- and for your eyes,... and for your tongue. But more is needed, the Prince says he must finish the job, consummate the curse which you and your friends have brought down upon yourselves".
Burns screamed as best as he could as Imhotep took of the mask, and showed his horried corpse like face.
--
Rick, Jonathan and Henderson were still at the bar, Daniels had gone away. The four of them slugged down thier shots, then spat it back out.
"Sweet Jesus, that tasted like...like..." Henderson said in horror.
"...Blood" Rick finished.
"And the rivers and waters of Egypt went red and were as blood" Jonathan quoted, looking in wonder at the water fountain in front of them, now sprinkling out red liquid.
"He's here" Rick said, walking off to find Evy.
--
Evelyn calmly steps into a courtyard carrying a book she was reading. A blast of thunder and lightning scares her. She hears a voice calling her and she turns around. It's O'Connell, breathing hard.
"We've got problems" He huffed out. And that's when a barrage of hail and fire slams into the courtyard. Rick and Evy run under the eaves.
"He's here. He's definatly here" Rick shouted out above the thunder.
"The creature? Are you sure?" Evy asked, confused.
Rick waved his arms at the hail and fire outside "Pretty sure".
They then race up the stairs after hearing a scream and got into Burn's room.
--
Howard heard the screams, and knew he should investigate. He looked down at Vince in his arms, who went back to sleep and laid him back down on the bedcovers. He kissed his lover on the forehead and went out the room, finding the others and followed them into Burn's room.
Evy spots Burn's shirveled up corpse and gasps, putting her hands to her mouth. Rick looks over to the other side and draw his gun. Imhotep was regenerating, Burn's skin was beginning to cover his bones and rotton flesh. As soon as it began, it was finished.
"We are in serious trouble" Rick said, getting his gun out. Imhotep starts coming towards him and Evy, so Rick opens fire. The bullets just shoot off bits of rotton skin. Jonathan, Howard, Henderson and Daniels came into the room and tried to pull out their own guns.
Imhotep knocked Rick into the guys (But Howard stepped to the side just in time) and ran out the room, towards where Vince was. Howard ran after him, but the mummy was quicker and was leaning over the goth. Vince was awake, but still with fear, his blue eyes wide with panic.
"You saved me from the undead. For this, I shall make you immortal" Imhotep spoke to him in anichant Eygptian. He was about to kiss Vince when a tinkling could be heard, the white cat was on the table by the window and just knocked off a small vase in the room. Imhotep screeched and turned into a sand whirlwind, blowing himself out of a window.
Rick said "We are in very serious trouble" as Howard gathered his lover up in his arms, holding the trembling form close.
--
Evy, Jonathan, O'Connell, the two other Americans and the boosh boys made their way up the stairs of the Cairo museum where Vince was first found. Vince was still nervous, staying next to Howard whenver possible.
"There's only one person who can tell us what's going on" Evy said, turning into a large room. Inside, they saw the curator talking to Ardeth Bay "You" The guys took out their guns, while Howard held Vince closer.
"Miss Carnahan, gentlemen" The curator greeted them coolly.
"What's he doing here?" Evy asked, anger getting to her.
"Would you like to know, or would you rather shoot us instead?" All the guns are uncocked and holstered back.
"After what I've just seen, I'm willing to go on a little faith here" O'Connell answered.
Everyone then moves into positions around the Seti the first display. The curator sits in the throne, with Ardeth standing next to him, Jonathan stood in the chariot, while Rick and Evy stood a bit away. Howard and Vince stood in front of the chariot, Howard keeping his arms around his lover, holding him close.
"We are part of an ancient secret society and we have a sacred mission, passed down through thirty-nine generations. For over four thousand years we have guarded The City Of The Dead. We are sworn to do any and all in our power to stop the High Priest Imhotep from being reborn into this world" The curator explained.
"And because of you, we have failed" Ardeth said, annoyed.
"And you think this justifies the killing of innocent people?" Evy asked, appalled.
"To stop this creature? Yes!" The curator yelled.
"Why dosen't he like cats?" Vince asked, his voice failing to hide his nerves.
"Cat's are the guardians of the underworld. Until he's fully regenerated, he will fear them. When he has, he will fear nothing" Ardeth replied.
"And you know how he regenerates? By sucking everybody dry who's opened that chest" Daniels yelled, disgusted.
"Yes, he will regenerate, then bring his love back to live" The curator said. Evy walked over to them.
"In the ruins, after I read the book, he looked at Vince over there, and called him Anck-Su-Namun. And in mister Burns room, Imhotep tried to kiss him" The two men looked over at the goth, who looked away more from nerves, Howard holding him tighter.
"Then he has chosen his sacrifice, although I don't know why he chose a male. But I suppose your young friend is quite feminine looking" Vince blushed, and Howard glared at them "He will also be wanting you miss Carnahan, to help with the sacrifice".
"We better find and destory him quick, his powers are getting stronger" Ardeth said, looking out of a window the whole time.
"...and he stretched forth his hands towards the heavens, and there was darkness throughout the land of Egypt" Jonthan quoted, making chills run through everyone's spines.
--
O'Connell is staring out of a window, Evy and Jonathan are pacing the foyer of Vince's and Howard's room and the two Americans were sitting quietly. Vince and Howard were sitting on the bed in the seperate room.
"I knew something bad was going to happen. What happens if we don't get through this Howard?" Vince asked, sad and nervous. Howard's heart was breaking at the state his lover was in, the usual sunshine and colourful world of Vince Noir was becoming scary and dark, he wasn't used to it. He leant Vince into his embrace "Listen, I love you Vince and I will always protect you, I promise"
This made the goth smile "I love you too, Howard" They both leaned into a passionate kiss, and were getting into it before being interruped by Rick coughing.
"We're going out to find the Eygptologist. If we bring him back here, we might stand a chance of saving your friend. But me and Jonathan need you to come" O'Connell said, gently.
"I can't left him like this" Howard said, indicating his lover's trembling form and silent tears running down his face.
"Evy and the two Americans will stay here and watch over him, we'll even lock the door to be sure he's safe" Howard let this sink in and nodded "Did you hear all that, Vince?"
"Yes, you better go, just don't get hurt, please" The goth's eyes glowed with unshed tears and Howard was torn between leaving him or helping to save him "I promise Vince" He gave his lover a quick kiss and made his way out of the room. O'Connell then closed the doors and locked them, Howard stared at the rest of the group "Make sure he's safe. If he's hurt when I come back, I'll come after you like a northen bullet" They then left.
--
Beni is wreaking the Eygptologist's office, pulling out drawers and files and throwing them on the floor. He finds a silver pocket watch, shakes it, then throws it into his pocket, then he starts tipping over bookcases and clearing shelves.
"Well, well, spring cleaning?" O'Connell asked behind him. He turned to see the adventurer with Jonathan and Howard, and tried to make a break for it. O'Connell just picked up a chair and threw it at him, knocking him to the floor.
"Who's your new friend Beni?" Rick asked, lifting up the weasely man and putting a knife under his chin.
"What friend? You are my only friend" Beni tried to talk himself out.
"Don't lie. Who is it and what's in it for you?" O'Connell asked again, anger getting to him and starts digging the knife a bit deeper.
"It is better to be the right hand of the Devil,... than in his path. As long as I serve him, I am immune" Beni replied, a smug grin carved on his face.
"Immune to what?" Rick asked, getting more annoyed.
"You shall see" Beni teased.
"What are you looking for?" Howard asked.
"The book! The black book they found at Hamunaptra! Imhotep wants it back. Said to me it would be worth it's weight in diamonds" Beni paniked.
"What's he want that for?" Jonathan asked.
"Something about bringing his dead girl-friend back to life. He needs the book..." He looks at Howard "And your lover".
Rick looks at Howard's pained face and Beni uses this opportunity to knee O'Connell in the balls, then escape out the window. A scream is then heard out the window, making the guys rush over to the window. Down in the bazaar, people are screaming and quickly backing away from the corpse of the Egyptologist. A partially decayed hand reaches down and takes the sacred canopic jar out of the Egyptologist's shriveled hand.
It's Imhotep, having regenerated even further. He looks up and catches eyes with O'Connell. Imhotep grins, then unhinges his jaw, his mouth stretches to an inhuman size, and then a huge swarm of flies comes out of his mouth and races straight up at O'Connell, Howard and Jonathan. They slam the shutters. The flies slam into the closed window and immediately spread throughout the bazaar, Sending people screaming and running.
"That's two down and two to go" Jonathan said.
"Then he'll be coming after Vince" Howard said, worried and running out the door, the others behind him.
--
Daniels turns from the window. Henderson sits in a chair next to Vince's door, chain smoking. Both look wired with fear, while Evy is asleep on the sofa in the room.
"The hell with this. I'm going downstairs to get me a drink. You want somethin'? Daniels asked his mate.
"Yeah, get me a glass of bourbon, a shot of bourbon and a bourbon chaser" Henderson answered. Daniels nodded, then left the room. Henderson just sits there and keeps smoking. He reaches into his jacket pocket, pulls out his sacred canopic jar and fondles it. A breeze suddenly comes in through the open window and the curtains flutter. Henderson gets up and goes over to shut it and he looks out the window. Sand then hits Henderson square in the face and he screams. He is lifted into the air by a mass of swirling sand and his body twists, turns and slowly shrivels as the life is sucked out of him. Then he collapses to the floor.
On the wall above him, the sand condenses to form a shadow of a human body regenerating. Imhotep steps into view and looks almost normal now, his face no longer decayed. He steps over Henderson's shriveled body and up to Vince's door, rattles the knob and finds it's locked. Imhotep grins as he makes his way through the keyhole as a pile of sand. He then turns back into himself and makes his way over to the bed, leaning over the sleeping goth.
The door bangs loudly as Howard and O'Connell start pounded on the door. Imhotep ignores it and kisses Vince, his mouth and lips start to decay. The door bursts open, waking Vince up and he screams when he sees the mummy's rotting lips kissing him, shoving him away.
"Keep your hands of my electro ponce" Howard yelled, more angry then he's ever been. Imhotep then starts to move towards them.
"Look what I've got" O'Connell says, bringing out Evy's white cat from behind his back. Imhotep sees this and turns into a sand tornado, spinning out of the bedroom window. Howard goes over to his lover, who is wiping his mouth in disgust "Vince, are you ok?"
"I think I'm gonna be sick, Howard" And Vince nearly was on the bed if Howard didn't pick him up and take him to the bathroom. He held the soft long hair back as Vince retched into the toilet 'Dear God, I broke my promise to him. I'm not letting him out of my sight again, ever' Howard thought, as Vince finally collapsed into his arms.
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Next chapter yay finally lol also got mighty boosh 3 dvd today and am now addicted to eel song hopefully i might start my labyrinth crossover tomorrow, but until then i hopw this tieds you over. from chugirl2526.