Katie's Journal Part 4

A miracle. I'm not sure if I will ever ask for one of those again. I almost lost Dean, WE almost lost him. I can't even begin to imagine life without him. Sam was more worried than I was. I hate to see either of them hurting.

But he's fine now. They're both back to their normal brotherly banter. I'm glad it's over with.

I'm glad Sam hasn't brought anything about that night up. We were so tired and upset. I don't even know what happened, really. I can't even begin to analyze my feelings. It's always been too hard when it came to the Winchester boys. I loved them both from the start, but I found myself wanting one more than the other some days.

I use to run to Sam when I was hurting, and he'd take me in his arms. I felt like I could really be me around him. Like the other night I think I just wanted him to comfort me like he'd done years ago.

Dean protected me. He always will probably. I just love being with him. He's a smirk and a witty comment. I love that about him. I can just have fun with him.

I never thought I'd have to choose between the two of them, but I guess one day I will. I think I already did. I just hope I made the right decision.

SsSsSsSs

Katie closed her diary, stretching on the bed she had been lying on. She sat up on her knees, arching her back and pulling her hands behind her head. Her actions didn't go unnoticed by the other occupants in the room. Sam caught himself following the rise of her tank top. Dean watched her move from behind the paper he had been reading. Both men quickly averted their eyes, afraid of what Katie might think, or what the other brother might think.

"I'm going to take a shower." Katie announced pushing off the bed, dragging her duffle bag behind her as she made her way to the bathroom. She looked at the boys in the room before closing the door behind her. She pulled out her vibrating cell phone, turning on the shower before answering it. "It's nice to hear from you Mr. Winchester." She answered with malice. "It would have been even better a few days ago, you know, when your son was dying."

"Katie," John's words came out sincerely. "There was nothing I could have done. Besides you and Sam had it under control, I'm just glad he'd okay."

"Is that why you called?"

"No," Katie sat against the counter. She had a feeling he wasn't at all concerned about this family ninety-nine percent of the time. "I just wanted to see where you where heading. What hunts the boys found."

"We don't have anything right now. I think Dean's leaning towards a hunt in Pennsylvania, but I'm not sure if it's anything." Katie took a breath before continuing. "It would be nice to see you. I think they would like to know where you're headed."

"Princess, you know I can't tell you that. I'm too close. I don't want to put you in danger." Katie knew he was telling the truth. He didn't want to put her in danger, but his boys could take care of themselves. She felt like she was the one keeping them apart, even though she was only John's excuse.

"I'm pretty tired. Just be careful, okay?" Katie told him before closing her phone. She took a quick shower, letting the hot water burn off any trace of the lie she had to keep from her best friends, her only family.

Katie walked out of the steaming bathroom about an hour after she'd entered it. She glanced at the boys, they were already in bed. She put her bag down quietly and crossed the room to Sam's bedside. She pulled the covers back, sliding in next to his still frame. Once she was completely engulfed under the large white comforter, Katie relaxed against Sam.

"You okay?" Sam whispered turning on his side the mold perfectly against her. Katie leaned back into his comforting arms.

"I don't want to talk about it." She told him quietly, closing her eyes as he wrapped his arms around her. He fell back to sleep within seconds. Katie on the other hand laid there unable to keep her thoughts quiet. She opened her eyes and stared at the dark shadow across from her. She felt a knot form in the pit of her stomach. She hated hurting the boys, but she knew telling them would be just as bad. She knew Dean would hate her for keeping his father away, and she wasn't going to loose them again.