First Reactions, Seconds Thoughts

Chapter 13

Trory

Rated T for later chapters

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The phone call had come Tristan was being sent back, he knew this would happen deep down and he knew Jamie wouldn't understand he only worried about Rory and what she would think, it would be the hardest on her anyways no husband to help look after Jamie no one around to help protect her no one to watch Jamie while she was at school. It was the hardest thing Tristan knew he had to do: Telling Rory good-bye for now.

He sat at their kitchen table in their apartment surrounded by their things and their memories. He grabbed for the yellow notebook paper and the girly pen on the table and started writing letters. Letters about how he couldn't wait to come home and how he felt about her and Jamie and letters to Rory and Jamie if he didn't come home those were the letters he didn't want to right, hell he didn't want to have to write any letters but he had too.

Letter 1 I am coming home

Dear Mary,

I know by now your probably hating me for leaving but I promise you I will fight to come home to you and to Jamie both of you are my life and I don't ever want to lose that, promise me you wont get over me promise that you'll always love me like I love you. Endless love that can not be messed with is what we have Rory Dugrey and I don't want you to forget that when I'm away I want you to constantly remind yourself and Jamie how much I love you two and that I'll be home as quickly as I can, I promise you I will come home Rory and you and I and Jamie will be together again and happy and we can move on from this together.

I hope this song shows you what I feel and what I want you to feel:

Loving you
Like I never have before.
And needing you.
Just to open up that door.
And begging you.
Might somehow turn the tides.
And tell me to
Ive gotta get his off my mind.
I never thought Id be speaking these words,
I never thought Id need to say.
Another day alone is more than I can take.
(chorus)
Wont you save me?
Savins what I need.
I just want to be,
By your side.
Wont you save me?
I dont wanna be.
Just drifting through this sea
Of life.
Want to.
Listen please.
Baby, dont walk out that door.
Im on my knees.
Youre all Im living for.
I never thought Id be speaking these words,
Never thought Id find a way.
Another day alone is more than I can take.
Wont you save me?
Savins is what I need.
I just want to be,
By your side.
Wont you save me?
I dont wanna be.
Just drifting through this sea
Of life.
Suddenly the sky is falling
Could it be its too late for me?
And if I never said Im sorry.
Well Im wrong, yes Im wrong.
Baby now you hear my spirit calling.
Wondering if shes longing for me?
And then I know
That I cant live without her.
Wont you save me?
Savins what I need.
I just want to be,
By your side.
Wont you save me?
I dont wanna be.
Just drifting through this sea
Of life.
Wont you save me?
Savins what I need.
I just want to be,
By your side.
Wont you save me?
I dont wanna be.
Just drifting through this sea
Of life.
Wont you save me?
Wont you save me?
Wont you save me?

Mary as long as you're their hoping and wishing for me to come home again soon you'll be saving me, I'll always be there for you baby because I love you more than life itself.

I'll be your lover for life

Your soul mate for eternity

Just don't go and forget me

Always and forever

Your husband,

Tristan Dugrey

Letter number 2 I am not coming home:

Mary I will always love you and I will wait for your at heavens gate just take as much time as you need raising our son, take as much time as you need living your life for yourself, if you need to move on I'll understand but just remember I'll be waiting for you forever and always.

I didn't come, I didn't make it out of their alive but I fought for you and I fought for our son but I guess it didn't work out the way we planned It would. Remember this song Mary because its how I'll think of it.

If you're reading this
My momma is sitting there
Looks like I only got a one way ticket over here
I sure wish I could give you one more kiss
War was just a game we played when we were kids
Well I'm laying down my gun
I'm hanging up my boots
I'm up here with God
And we're both watching over you
So lay me down
In that open field out on the edge of town
And know my soul
Is where my momma always prayed that it would go.
If you're reading this I'm already home.
If you're reading this
Half way around the world
I won't be there to see the birth of our little girl
I hope she looks like you
I hope she fights like me
Stand up for the innocent and the weak
I'm laying down my gun
Hanging up my boots
Tell dad I don't regret that i followed in his shoes
So lay me down
In that open field out on the edge of town
And know my soul is where my momma always prayed that it would go
If you're reading this, I'm already home
If you're reading this, there is going to come a day
You move on and find someone else and that's okay
Just remember this
I'm in a better place
Soldiers live in peace and angels sing amazing grace
So lay me down
In that open field out on the edge of town
And know my soul is where my momma always prayed that it would go
If you're reading this
If you're reading this
I'm already home

Tell the rest I love them all, tell them we'll all see each other soon, life has a funny way of showing you your life's plan whether it be givin to us or taken away, remember Mary we'll meet again at a time and a place after your lived your life, we'll meet at heavens gate, and will hug and kiss just like we did before I left and never came back.

I love you Mary always and forever to eternity and no end,

Mrs. Dugrey remember this day and remember this place and our memories because will have it back in another time and place.

Ps. In another time or place Mary xoxo

Letter 3 I am coming home

Dear Jamie,

I don't want to bore you with the mushy stuff I know you hate but I have a song just for you I hope it helps you think of me.

He called her on the road
From a lonely cold hotel room
Just to hear her say I love you one more time
And when he heard the sound
Of the kids laughing in the background
He had to wipe away a tear from his eye
A little voice came on the phone
And said "Daddy when you coming home"
He said the first thing that came to his mind
I'm already there
Take a look around
I'm the sunshine in your hair
I'm the shadow on the ground
I'm the whisper in the wind
I'm your imaginary friend
And I know I'm in your prayers
Oh I'm already there
She got back on the phone
Said I really miss you darling
Don't worry about the kids they'll be alright
Wish I was in your arms
Lying right there beside you
But I know that I'll be in your dreams tonight
And I'll gently kiss your lips
Touch you with my fingertips
So turn out the light and close your eyes
I'm already there
Don't make a sound
I'm the beat in your heart
I'm the moonlight shining down
I'm the whisper in the wind
And I'll be there until the end
Can you feel the love that we share
Oh I'm already there
We may be a thousand miles apart
But I'll be with you wherever you are
I'm already there
Take a look around
I'm the sunshine in your hair
I'm the shadow on the ground
I'm the whisper in the wind
And I'll be there until the end
Can you feel the love that we share
Oh I'm already there
Oh I'm already there

Jamie no matter what I'm always there looking out for you, I'll see you when I get home we'll hang out like we used to annoy your mom until she gives in and comes along with us. Don't give up on my bub because I'll be back soon.

Love dear old dad,

Watch out for your mom while I'm gone little man.

This isn't goodbye it's only see you soon.

Xoxo

Letter 4 if I don't come home

Dear Jamie,

I obviously didn't make it back to you or your mom I know you'll probably hate me for it one day but I fought to come home everyday. Do me a favor take care of your mom and do what ever you can to make her happy I don't care if its ten years down the road just make sure she moves on and lives her life. I don't think there is much more to say I just hope you grow up like your mom strong willed and independent and strive for what you want I know your mom and if she says you can do it boy you can do it.

I love you Jamie you're my entire life you're my blood in different form so you have my bad behavior don't give your momma a hard time look after everything when you get older and have fun growing up kid. Find the person that makes you happy bub like your momma made me and she still will not matter if I'm dead or not. You can only find love like that once don't screw that up cause in some cases you can never get it back.

I love you forever my boy,

Take care of yourself,

Look out for your momma,

Make sure she's happy again.

Love Dad

Tristan hid the letters in a box under the bed and walked into the kitchen to start making dinner for Rory and Jamie they were do home and second and he didn't want anyone to catch on to what he was doing.

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"Anyways Paris we should be getting home" Rory said picking Jamie up and walking towards to door.

"Okay take care sweetie," Paris said.

"Thanks for calming me down" Rory said before leaving.

Rory walked out towards her car and put Jamie in his car seat before climbing in the front and driving towards her and Tristan's apartment.

Rory opened the door leading a half a sleep Jamie to the couch and putting on cartoons for him, she walked into the kitchen to see Tristan staring into the freezer not moving.

"Baby are you okay?" Rory asked walking over to him.

"Huh oh uh yeah I'm fine Mare" Tristan said snapping out of his haze.

"Are you sure you look out of it? Did something happen today while Jamie and I were out?" Rory asked soothingly.

"Mary I have to tell you something" Tristan said looking down a sad expression crossing his face.

"They called didn't they?" Rory asked a silent tear falling down her cheek.

"Yeah baby they did" Tristan said sadly pulling her into his arms.

"How long do we have?" Rory asked not caring anymore letting the tears fall down freely.

"A week, I have to leave next Wednesday" Tristan said his own tears falling now.

"For how long?" Rory asked.

"A year Rory a friggin year" Tristan said pulling away and slamming his fists onto the counter.

"They wouldn't listen Ror I tried I did baby I tried but they wouldn't let up the soonest I could come home was a year" Tristan cried bitterly.

"I know you tried Tristan and I know it's not your fault baby I know" Rory said rubbing his back.

"Hey what's wrong?" Jamie asked.

"Oh Jamie come her bub" Tristan said picking up his son in his arms.

"There is something we need to tell you baby," Rory said.

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There I'll add more later!

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Cathy-Rae