On with the story... HURRAY FOR NYMPHOS!!!
Konoha; Hokages office
Tsunade was sitting behind her desk with the three Akatsuki members in front of her and the Rookie 12 and Jiraiya behind them.
"Now tell me. What is your buisness here?" Tsunade asked.
"We are here to offer an alliance." Naruto stated simply. "Kumo, Iwa and Kiri has made an alliance and are preparing for war and our Leader thinks that even with your alliance with Suna you won't be able to survive this."
"So why would Akatsuki want to make an alliance with us?" Jiraiya asked from behind them.
"Three reasons actually..." said Obito and started counting on his fingers. "One: It was a personal request from us three, Two: It would be good to have an ally as strong as Konoha. and Three: Nagato-sama and Konan don't want you to get hurt Jiraiya-sama." he said shocking Jiraiya speechless... well almost speechless.
"N-Nagato and Konan are in the Akatsuki?" he asked wide eyed.
"Yes but we don't call him Nagato anymore... We call him Pein-sama or Leader-sama." said Obito once again shocking Jiraiya.
"L-Leader?!"
"Yes Leader. And soon to be leader of Amegakure no Sato as soon as the civil war is over." said Itachi in his usual monotone voice.
"And are you guys gonna join with Ame or Konoha" asked Tsunade pointing at the three.
"We're gonna be with Akatsuki until Pein takes over Ame. Then we'll join ranks with Konoha." Naruto said.
"Good! Now that that's settled i need to know what you want out of the alliance." said Tsunade getting the attention of the three.
"We want amnesty for our members. We want our members to be able to walk through a village without having to keep looking over their shoulders. And we want your help, should we end up in a war." Naruto said simply.
"Okay. Now where do i sign for this alliance to be official?" Tsunade asked, happy that her little brother was coming back to the village.
"Pein will come here with the documents when we tell him that you agreed." Naruto said and started making the seals for the projection jutsu ending in the ram seal and closed his eyes.
After seemingly just standing there for a few minutes he opened his eyes again.
"So? What did he say?" asked Obito with a raised eyebrow.
"He and Konan will be here in a week with the documents." Naruto said getting an affermative nod from Tsunade. "He told us to stay here and wait for him. And i couldn't be happier!" Tsunade, Jiraiya and the Rookie 12 smiled at this. "Now Konoha can experience our pranking first hand instead of just hearing about it on the street!" he said with an evil gleam in his eye. Which of course earned him a taste of Tsunades mean right hook sending him flying into the wall. 'Grrr vengence will be mine' He thought and got an idea. He stood up and acted kinda woozy from the hit and 'accidentally' bumped into the desk. "Well if that's all i guess we'll be going pranking now!" exclaimed Obito and walked out of the Hokages office with everyone else following suit.
When they came out of the Hokage Tower Naruto reached into his robe and pulled out a bottle of sake, took a sip and said "I wonder how she'll react when she finds out that i switched her precious sake with cat piss?" as everyone started laughing and just a few seconds after that they could hear the screams of a very pissed off Tsunade. "Hmm.. she took it better than i expected..." and just as he said that Tsunades desk went flying through the air knocking some poor bird out of the sky. "But i could be wrong. Now!" he exclaimed and turned to Obito "Pranking spree?" ha asked while giving him an evil grin.
"Pranking spree!" Obito said as he whipped up an equally evil grin.
"It's just too bad that we can't use the Crotch Chomper... since we'll probably be executed if we let it chomp off a leg or arm... or crotch..." said Naruto with a downcast look...
"But we can use the D-ranked bear trap!" said Obito with a maniacal laugh. "Let's go!" he said and The Legendary Pranksters went on a pranking spree Konoha would never forget.
They did alot of things to Konoha that day. Bear traps set up just outside the door of various shops, stink bombs in the Anbus locker rooms, a scorpion in Shizunes desk, switched the Inuzukas dog medicine with cat nip causing chaos and switched Tsunades sake yet again with cat piss. It was a horrible day for Konoha. But they did one thing that Konoha was really happy about: they burned Lees and Gais green spandex suits and shaved their eyebrows in their sleep (MOHAHAHA!!!).
That and they did the basic Crotch Chomper (Flat edges, doesn't bite the victims crotch off but hurts like a bitch!) on Jiraiya after he refused to give them a copy of the new 'Icha Icha Onsen Desires'. Everyone in Konoha could hear his girlish screams. After that he gave them each a copy.
The next day Naruto was sitting in training ground 7 reading his new book when team 7 showed up.
"Hey Naruto! What's up?" Kakashi asked not looking up from his book (Icha Icha Onsen Desires).
"Haha! The sky you moron!" Naruto said in an amused tone making Kakashi a little ticked off.
"So Naruto... how have you been?" Sakura asked.
"Good actually! I got money, respect and a nickname." he said "What more could i ask for?"
"Like you said to Itachi: How about a girlfriend?" said the cycloptic jounin while eyeing Naruto.
"No! No no no i don't wanna get tied down like that!" said Naruto. "I don't want a girlfriend. All i need is Gyokumon-chan!" he exclaimed. (Oh how wrong he is.)
"Who is Gyokumon?" Sasuke asked looking confused "I thought you said that you didn't want a girlfriend?"
"She's not his girlfriend! She's his 'friend with benefits'." said Obito walking into the training ground.
"Yeah." said Naruto while getting up.
"Where are you going?" asked Kakashi.
Naruto turned to look at him with a evil grin. "We're gonna go prank the council." he said with a laugh "Haha! Those old farts won't know what hit 'em!" he exclaimed as he pumped his fist into the air.
"Yeah! This is gonna rock!" yelled Obito as they both ran away from the training ground.
"Kakashi-sensei... don't they remind you of Gai-sensei and Lee-san?" asked Sakura while staring at the spot where the two Akatsuki members once were. 'Damnit! I didn't get to apologize!'
"Yeah, but they're not completely like them... otherwise they wouldn't have burnt Gais and Lees spandex and shaved their eyebrows. Thank god for that by the way." Kakashi said and the others nodded.
Council room; 2 hours later.
Tsunade was standing infront of the council talking about the alliance.
"Uchiha Itachi, Uchiha Obito and Uzumaki Naruto of the Akatsuki came to the village today offering us an alliance, and i wanted to hear your opinion on it." she said and looked at everyone in the council.
"What alliance? They don't even have a village." said Hyuuga Hiashi.
"They are right now fighting in the civil war against Hanzo for Ame." said Tsunade and the council gasped.
"B-But not even you and the other sannins together could defeat him!" said Elder Homura while in shock.
"Appearently the leader of the Akatsuki is able to stand his ground against him in a one-on-one fight." said Tsunade "And he is appearently not the strongest of them either" she said making the council gasp once again.
"Then who is the strongest?" asked the feral looking Inuzuka Tsume. At that Tsunade said a name that shocked the council to the core.
"Uzumaki Naruto." she said "And he, Obito and Itachi wants to join Konoha and help in fight in the war."
"War? What war?" asked Danzo in all his one armed glory.
"According to the Akatsuki; Iwa, Kumo and Kiri has made an alliance with eachother, and even with our alliance with Suna we won't be able to win."
"And what does the Akatsuki want from all of this?" asked Nara Shikaku.
"Amnesty for their members and help in any war they end up in." Tsunade said simply.
"That sounds reasonable... But what does the Kazekage say about it?" Shikaku said in a bored tone.
"Gaara is a close friend of Naruto and he's all for it."
"Have you already signed the alliance?"
"No. The leader, Pein, is coming here in about a week with the papers."
"Well let's vote then. All for the alliance say 'Aye'." said Hiashi.
"Aye." said almost everyone in unison.
"All against say 'Ney'."
"Ney!" said Danzo.
"It seems the alliance will be formed. Now if there is nothing else, i declare this meeting over." Tsunade said and walked out of the room.
Just as the door was about to close, four small purple balls rolled in.
"What are those?" Yamanaka Inoichi said and got into a defensive stance.
"I don't know, but the are filled with chakra." said Hiashi with his Byakkugan activated.
Just as he said that the balls exploded into smoke and splatted some kind of smelly, orange paint all over the council members.
As the smoke dissipated they saw a writing on the wall:
You have been served by The Legendary Pranksters! Have a nice and smelly day!
Outside the Hokages tower Naruto and Obito were laughing their asses off.
"AHAHA! I never thought i could enjoy a simple E-ranked prank this much!" said Obito hardly being able to breath because of all the laughter.
"You can. I used to do it all the time." said Naruto as they walked towrads Ichiraku ramen.
Ichiraku Ramen
"Yo! Give me three large bowls of miso ramen! And step on it!" Naruto yelled when they walked into the ramen shop.
"Oh Naruto! Your back?! Ayame! Look who's here!" Ichiraku Teuchi yelled when he saw who walked in.
"What is it dad?" Ayame asked and blushed when she spotted our favorite blond. "N-Naruto-kun?" she asked "Is that you?"
"In the flesh!" he exclaimed and pointed at Obito "And this is my friend and partner Uchiha Obito."
"Nice to meet you both. Naruto has told me about you." Obito said and gave a small bow.
"Sorry Naruto but you need to leave." Teuchi said looking cautiously at Naruto.
"What? Why?!" yelled Naruto.
"I don't want to get pranked by you two! I've heard about the pranks you two have come up with and i don't want to suffer from those pranks!" Teuchi yelled.
"I wouldn't even dream of pranking you two! After all the times you have treated me to ramen when i was hungry and broke i couldn't even bring myself to pull a harmless E-rank on you." Naruto said while getting down on his knees. "Please! I have eaten ramen from all over the world and nobody makes ramen as good as you! PLEASE!!! Let me once more taste the heavenly taste of your ramen!" he begged.
"Dad. You know he would never prank us. Just let him eat." Ayame said with her hands on her hips.
"'sigh' Alright, you can eat." sighed Teuchi.
"YES! Three large bowls of miso ramen please!" Naruto exclaimed while taking a seat with Obito.
"Okay, and you?" Ayame asked looking at Obito.
"A large miso please." he said and turned to Naruto "Is this really the best ramen shop in the world?" he asked looking around as if looking for a diploma or something.
"Yup! I've been coming here since i was five and this is BY FAR the best ramen shop in the world." he said as Ayame came out with the ramen.
"Here you go. Have a nice meal." she said and walked into the back of the ramen shop.
"Oh i will!" Naruto said, more to himself than anyone else.
The next day; the Kishimoto dango shop (Couldn't think of a better name.)
"Why do we have to eat this? I want ramen." Naruto said looking at his plate of dango.
"We had ramen yesterday dude. We can't eat it every day. Trust me, you'll like this. It's just as good as ramen." and with that said Narutos eyes widened at the thought of something else that was as good as ramen. He picked up a skewer of dango.
"Is that so?" he asked sniffing the dumpling before plucking one with his mouth and giving it a taste.
"Wow! This IS good." he said with stars in his eyes. "I just found my new favorite food! Tell me why you have commited the vicious crime of not introducing it to me before?!" he eylled pointing an accusing finger at Obito who just shrugged.
"Meh... I didn't feel the need to bother showing it to you." he said casually. Then he spotted something. "Woah. An extremely hot vixen just stepped in through the doors." he said and pointed at a purple haired woman who had just walked up to the counter.
"What? Where?" asked Naruto and turned around. "Woah...it's that Anko woman from the chuunin exams." he said not beeing able to look away from her body.
Hearing her name being said she turned around and noticed a blonde haired guy with a black robe with red clouds on it, staring at her. 'Woah! Hot guy! Staring at me! FUN TIME!!' were her thoughts until she noticed the whiskers. 'Wait a minute! Whiskers? Is that the Uzumaki kid from the chuunin exams? My, my he has grown. I wonder if he has grown elsewhere to...' she thought with a perverted grin.
"Dude... i think i'm gonna go talk to her. I'll see you back at the hotel." Naruto said as he got up from his chair.
"Fucking horn dog." Obito said while shaking his head. But he thought something much different. 'Lucky bastard!'. And with that he got up and walked back to the hotel but then he stopped 'Maybe i should go and try to recruit Sasuke to our pranking team.' he thought and started walking towards the Uchiha compound.
Meanwhile Naruto had made his way to Anko.
"Hey. Aren't you that crazy woman who licked the blood off my cheek in the chuunin exams 3 years ago?" he asked with his head tilted to the side.
"Yeah that's me! Glad you remembered." she said "But you sure have grown since i saw you last. Where else might you have grown?" she asked with a predatory grin trying to intimidate him. But to her surprise he leaned over and whispered in her ear: "Would you like me to tell you or do you want to see it for yourself?" he asked and pulled back.
"My, my. Don't you work fast?" she asked and once again got an unexpected answer.
"Only on the flirting stage. After that i want to take it nice and slow."
"Well then. How about we skip the flirting part and head straight to my place?" Anko asked with a seductive smile and Naruto grinned.
"Ladies first." he said and moved to the side so she could get past him... They ended up in some alley about fifty feet away from the dango shop. It was the best day in Ankos life. When Naruto said nice and slow he didn't mean he fucked slowly. No no no. He did it hot and fast. But he could do it for about nine hours (Hence why Gyokumon likes him so much. That and the size of his... tool). They stopped by three more alleys before they got to Ankos house. Like i said: Best day in Ankos life.
Well there you have it! Chapter 5! R&R!!!
Until next time! This is ZnK signing out.