Shane decided to walk that day, instead of driving. She had to get some much needed fresh air. She also needed some time to think. Tina just wouldn't leave her mind. She tried to think of other things on her way home that day, but all of her attempts failed. She was glad she had seen her...it always made her incredibly happy to even catch one glimpse of Tina. On the other hand, she just couldn't bare it sometimes. Everyone knew Tina and Bette were still in love...even if they hadn't admitted that to themselves yet. Shane was the first to sense it. Everytime she would see Tina, whether Bette was around or not, she could just see the look in her eyes.
It broke Shane's heart, completely shattered it. It wasn't the fact that Tina was finally happy again that made Shane upset, of course. It wasn't even the fact that Tina's reborn happiness was all because of Bette. It was the fact that Shane could never be with her, could never hold her in her arms, could never know what it felt like to be loved by her. Tina was in love with Bette. Simple as that. Shane knew she had no business barging in and ruining their lives. So, she held her feelings in, day in and day out.
She had always loved Tina, from the very beginning. Tina was with Bette then, too. Then wasn't as devastating and disappointing as the present-time was for Shane. After all of those years, they finally seemed to have split up for good. It made Shane almost want to cry everytime she would see Tina sad and hurt over Bette, but it made her hopeful, too. She was waiting for the perfect time...hoping that it would eventually come. Then, it all started again. She wished she could just forget she had ever met Tina, forget that she had ever cared so much about her that it made her cry at night...forget that she had loved her and always would, no matter what. She could never forget about Tina, though. Tina meant everything to her.
Honestly, and Shane would probably never openly admit this to anybody, she had slept with so many women, women that for the most part really meant nothing to her, all because of Tina. She did it as an attempt to forget about the woman she knew loved someone else...the woman that would never love someone like her. She had never actually tried to do anything with Tina. She thought of Tina as much better than that, much better than just some sex toy to play with. She knew if she ever were to make any kind of move on Tina, it wouldn't be full of lust and aggression. She would treat her as she had always been waiting for the chance to: with love and passion.