What have I become, my sweetest friend? Everyone I know goes away in the end. You could have it all, my empire of dirt. I will let you down. I will make you hurt.
My high has worn off, and I'm plunged back into reality. I haven't seen a blue sky since she left, you know that? Emilie was...Emilie was wow. She had this long curly auburn hair. It looked like the color of fall leaves when the sun hit it just right. Her eyes were the most amazing, clearest blue you'll ever see in your entire life. If you ever see her, tell her I miss her, and I'm sorry. I look at our picture on my desk. It was taken just after we were married. We were so happy. I was clean. What we didn't know then was that just six months after, I'd start using again. Em was furious. I still remember the way she looked at me. Oh, man. It was horrible. Why is it that heroin makes me forget the things I want to remember, like the feeling of her skin against mine, or the firmness of her pregnant belly, or the way her eyes would dance when she smiled. All the things I love about her. All the things that made life worth living.
I forget all the things I love, but all my demons I remember. This thing, this Goddamned needle! It cost me my friends, early on. They were smart enough to stay away in high school. They could see how bad I was gonna turn out. You know, I think Emilie saw that, too, but she didn't care. For some unfathomable reason, she stayed with me, through thick and thin. It wasn't until our daughter, a beautiful little girl named Zoe, found my stash and nearly OD'ed that Em left. Then, it was only for Zoe's sake. That's...wow. That's my brother, my mother, my wife, my daughter, my friends...all gone. Everyone goes away in the end.
Sure, I do well at my job. I have a fairly high position. But you know what? I'd trade it all for another day with Em and Zoe.